Theodora’s POV
I felt so fucking sick to my stomach. A stone weighing in my chest. My shoulders were sore from how hard I was weeping. My spine curled forward until I was hugging my knees to my chest. I prayed that my parents were okay.
But I didn’t know for sure.
I just know that I could have done something.
Jumped off the gangway and saved them the way I couldn’t save my platoon. But Mads didn’t let me. He ripped me backward, feet stumbling into his arms, holding me down as I wailed. But now all that grief felt numb.
I felt numb.
The glass of starshine on my desk was still untouched. I poured it for myself, but before I could drink it to quell the shakes, I fell over myself and dry-heaved into the garbage can. Nothing came up, but my stomach lurched and lurched.