Chapter 30

"I know I've changed. But nobody understands"

"How exactly did you change?"

I sighed "I've been more upset lately. Trashing things around my apartment"

"Is that how you got those scratches?" My therapist asked me.

I looked down at my small cuts and nodded my head "I also lashed out at my brother. I've never yelled at him like that. I mean I have but this time it felt different. It felt like I was out of control"

"And why is that? Why do you think?"

I kept staring down at my hands that were resting on my lap. My  breathing pattern starting to slightly shake. I tried to take a deep breath before looking back up at her "Because of what happened with John when I got kidnapped"

"Have you spoken to anyone about those certain events?"

"No" I answered shaking my head.

"Do you think it's time to talk about it? Perhaps it would help"

Silence hung around the room for a few long seconds. I stood up from the couch "No, I don't want to talk about it"  I began heading to the door.

"The more you keep things bottled up the worse it will get"

I stopped only a few feet from the door.

"I know you must not want to talk about it. But this is a safe area right here, anything you say will stay in here. It will not leave this room"

I thought about it and bit the inside of my cheek. I turned around and walked back to the couch. I sat down and took a deep breath "Fine"

"Let's start from the beginning. The text messages"

~

"So what's the story?" Detective Wells asked Nathan.

They were sitting the car, waiting as they were working a case.

He turned to look at her "What are you talking about?"

"I heard some rumors Cassie is going crazy and I know-"

"Let me stop you right there. I know she wasn't fond of you coming in and taking her job. But you have no right to talk about her like that"

"Okay, sorry"

Nathan sighed "Look your a good detective, and I know you mean well. But they had no right to do what they did with Cassie. She's just going through a lot right now"

"Right, forget I said anything"

~

I knocked on the door outside of Kelly's office. It caught his attention. He was working on a report. He turned his head to look at me "Hey"

"Hey" I said in a soft tone "First stop on the tour of apologies"

He step down his pen, turning his attention to me he leaned back on his chair "Okay"

I walked in and closed the door behind me. I took a few steps and leaned against the bed frame "I'm really sorry. I know I haven't been the best sister lately"

"It's just, I thought you could talk to me about anything"

"I know, I shouldn't have kept it from you. Especially with the way I was feeling. I know I've disappointed you and you must hate me for that" I looked down.

Kelly sighed. He scooted to the edge of his seat and grabbed onto my hands "Hey"

I looked at him.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. It broke my heart that way you yelled at me, but it broke my heart even more to find out you were feeling that way"

"I just hope you can forgive me" I whispered.

Kelly stood up from his chair and immediately wrapped his arms around my neck "Your my sister, it's already forgiven"

I wrapped my arms around him tight.

~

I walked up the steps to Intelligence. I noticed Jay sitting at his desk.

"Hey" I said as I approached "Can we talk?" I asked.

He looked at me and nodded his head. Standing up he began walking to the coffee room as I followed him.

~

Voight was in his office with the door closed. He was sitting on his chair as a friend of his was standing across his desk. Commander Ava Sanders from New York. She was assisting Voight on an old case.

She was looking outside and watched as Jay and Cassie walked into a room "Is that who I think it is?" She asked "Detective Cassie Severide?" Her Australian accent coming out clear.

"It is"

"I worked a case back in Indiana a few years ago. I heard she is a good homicide detective. One of the best. She works for you now?" She asked turning back to face Voight.

"No, she worked over at the 31th District with the homicide division"

"Worked?" She asked.

"Yea, she was kidnapped a while back and almost killed. She took some time off to recover but when she went back to work they had already replaced her with someone else"

Ava raised her eyebrows for a second "That's a shame"

~

He was holding onto my hands "I'm just glad you finally talked about it"

I slowly exhaled "I know, and I know I haven't talked about it with you it's just-"

"Hey, whenever your ready" He picked up his hand and wrapped it around half of my face.

I leaned my face towards his warm hand and smiled "Thanks"

He brought up my hands with his other hand and kissed them "So, what are you gonna do?"

"Well, I think I'm done with my tour of apologies so I don't know" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Why don't you stay here?"

"Are you sure I can?"

Jay nodded his head "Yea of course"

"I'm kind of hungry" I scrunched up my nose.

He slightly laughed "Well, we just finished eating lunch"

I sighed "Okay fine, I'll go pick up some lunch a few blocks away and I'll be back" I stood up and so did Jay.

He leaned in and kissed my lips "Okay, bring me back something"

"Not a chance" I said with a laugh as I walked to the closed door.

I turned when Jay called my name "What?" I asked.

"It's good to see you like this, laughing and smiling"

I nodded my head "It feels good" I opened the door and walked out.

After walking down the steps I began walking towards the door.

"Excuse me" I heard a voice behind me.

I turned around to see a woman walking down the last step and approaching me.

"Hi, I'm Commander Eva Sanders" She introduced himself as she held her hand out to me.

I shook it "Hi, I'm Detective Cassie Severide"

"Oh I know who you are"

I noticed she had an Australian accent, but I didn't recognize her. Gotta say though, I love her accent.

"You do?" I asked.

"Of course. I worked a few cases a few years ago in Indiana. I would love to talk some more" She pulled out a card handing it to me "You would be a great addition to the team"

I grabbed it and noticed it was her card "To the team?" I asked.

"Yes. I heard you were out of a job at the moment"

I lightly scoffed "Yea, you heard right"

"Well I'm only in town for a few more days so I would love to get lunch and talk about more. I think you would make an excellent Police Captain"

I furrowed my eyebrows looking at her baffled "Police Captain? But I'm only-"

"Yes, well we could get all of that sorted out later. There are a few tests you would have to take which are not difficult at all"

"Wait I'm sorry, hold on. What is going on?" I asked still looking at her confused.

She lightly laughed "Right my apologies. I have an opening at my division as Police Captain and I would love for you to fill it"

I didn't know what to say "Wow"

"As I said I'm only here for a few more days so I would love to sit with you and talk about it more" She smiled at me.

"Where is this at?" I asked. Since it was obvious she didn't have her division here.

Her phone began ringing. She grabbed it and glanced at the caller ID before looking at me "New York. I hope to get an answer soon" She said to me before she answered the call and walked out.

I stayed there with a stunned expression "I was thinking more along the lines of Indiana" I whispered.

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