A Change In Plans

…Isabella POV…

Of all the times, now, I decide to panic; I have done this before. I was trained to do this; I knew that this would be part of it. But no, now I find the need to freeze up. Do I not want to do this because I am not doing it with Clayton anymore or because I never truly wanted to do it in the first place at all? Either way, I will let him down, but will it really bother him so much, seeing that he truly does not want me around. The thing is, I am the only nurse, so in a way, I am letting this entire platoon down. Do I really want to be that person?

But now I have Clayton standing all confused in front of me; what do I even begin to tell him. The longer I hold us up, the further we move away from the drop point. So I guess it is time that I make up my mind.

"Clayton, I can't do this."

"Isabella, what do you mean you can't do this? Is this not why you are here?"

"We both know what the reason is why I am here."

"Well, I don't know what to say to you; I told you I would figure it out. I need time."

"I don't know if I have time to wait."

"You need to find it, for you are now not only letting me down but this entire platoon."

And if I thought he was going to be sympathetic, then I am sadly mistaken. I guess, in a way, he has all the right to be mad. He asked me on many occasions if you wanted to do this, and I reassured him every time that it is what I wanted to do. But now I stand here not making a move at all. I hate that I have become so dependent on a man that I cannot live without him around. Well, he is around. He just does not want me around.

"Isabella, you are wasting time. We are going to miss the drop off point, and you know there is no margin for error here. And I do not think I need to remind you that you have committed yourself; there is no way that you are getting out of it."

Yes, that minor detail I did forget; I am stuck here whether I like it or not.

…Clayton POV…

I understand that she is scared; we all are afraid, we chose to do this, and this is what we should do. She seems to forget the bigger picture here; we are doing this to save the lives of others. That is what it is to be a Marine, in fact, any Seal, any Soldier, any man and woman that is there to serve their country. Do I even dare to say that she is being selfish? All I know is that she is not the Isabella I fell in love with. Does pressure truly bring out who a person really is?

In all honestly, I cannot stand here and try to convince a woman to do something that she does not want to do. And I am not giving up my dream now, not now when I am already living it. I am not going to let her make me chose again. I am afraid to say, even though it does hurt, that I am leaving her behind.

"Isabella, believe me, that I am sorry when I say this, but I am leaving you here. I need to drop out now."

"I am sorry, Clayton."

And with that, it is the last words I will hear from her. If she will be at Pendleton when I get back, that I don't know. But I think, and I can say with tears in my eyes, that this will be the last time that I will see her.

But before I drop out, I turn to her, not that the words mean anything anymore.

"I love you, Isabella."

Then…one…two...three…

I jump out of the plane, leaving a part of my life behind that I thought would have repaired itself after a while. Guess, as she said, she does not have the patience to wait.

Now, as all of these sad thoughts subside, there is clear anger that builds up inside. She has not only let Harrison down, but she has embarrassed me. Should I have been more sympathetic? Sympathy only goes so far.

So as I look down at the ocean below, with the ground fast approaching, I chose to set the hurt and anger behind and fill myself with a newfound strength to serve and be the best Marine that I can be. But apart from a new purpose, I find that sense of joy that was crushed into pieces but only a few minutes ago. I cannot worry about Isabella; it will destroy me, and more importantly, it will take my head out of the game, and that is when things start going wrong, and people get hurt.

Before I hit that ground, my mind will be clear, that is, until I tell Harrison that Isabella stayed behind. And I think he might just come down on me as well.

After freefalling for about sixty seconds, I deploy my chute. Then move in for an easy landing on the shore, sliding my feet gently over the sand until I come to a stop. There waiting for me is my squad; the worry on their faces disappear as a give them a cocky smile.

"Hey, I had to make an entrance."

Galland burst out laughing, but it is Clark who notices that I am alone.

"Where is Isabella?"

"She could not do it."

"So you left her behind?"

"Yes, I did; she is on the plane; she is safe. They will take her back to Pendleton."

"Damn, Harrison is going to be pissed."

Now he just had to go remind me about that; the thing is, it might be ugly to say, but we are not together; there is no reason I should be blamed for what she does.

"Well, there is nothing I can do about it; I did try to talk sense into her. Now let's get our asses to camp; the last thing we need to do is piss Harrison off because we are behind."

I take a deep breath; this is now more real than it was before. As I face my squad while they fall in line behind me, I feel a sense of pride build deep in my chest. But what else needs to take its place is fear; the fear of the enemy is what is going to keep us on our toes. Confidence but not too overconfident for I of anyone should know how easily things can change in an instant.

So we start making our way through the dense forest that twists and turns. Beyond this ugly war that is raging in these cities, one cannot help but stop and take note of the beauty that is all around. If Isabella only saw this, then she would understand why she is here. That not everything here is ugly and scary. And not only that, these men would have never let anything happen to her. She does not need to be in a relationship with me to feel safe.

After what seems like hours, and probably was, after seeing some questionable animals, or I should rather say creatures. After some scary pathways that I thought were leading us into no way at all. But let us not forget how unbearable the weather has been since we have landed. Nothing here is a constant. But one thing that has not changed is the feeling of a different kind of home as we finally step into camp.

The first thing I do is find Harrison; I need to give him the horrible news of Isabella. But unfortunately, my path crosses with MacKay instead that has the most awful smirk on his face that I so wish I can slap off. But hey, there is always tripping him later tonight on the way to messhall. However, there is something more to this stupid smile.

"What is your stupid smiling about?"

"Oh, I just came back from seeing the nurse; I must say she is quite a hottie."

"The nurse? Which nurse?"

Just then, I feel a soft hand that I am very familiar with touch my shoulder.

"Hi, Clayton."