Chapter 2

Fear an emotion that could damage ones soul if not careful however, who can be careful from feeling such an emotion? Fear was bizarre and occured or rather awoke at irregular periods due to the raise in heartbeat.

Fear of loneliness was a kind that even adults have or experience. But as I a kid, I understand that fear shouldn't be a feeling to be welcomed. Fear should be chased out of our lives and soul. Fear eats us up like it has always been there. Or maybe it has. Fear! My current destruction the only feeling and emotion that makes my heart race and not in a good way.

I wanted it gone! My fear didn't come from loneliness if it did, it would have been appreciated and embraced, however my fear steamed from a man. A man who hits me to take out his frustration, anger and loneliness when my mother wasn't around.

My fear of my father. A fear in which I want to run away from! A fear I want to break from deep within my soul! A fear that threatens my life and existence. And not just mine but also that if my siblings.

A fear so manipulative and destructive which couldn't be embraced or accepted no matter what. I wanted to escape from this fear! I want out!

I can't want out now due to my little sisters who were my weakness.

Weakness? I'm not even sure if it has a definition however, I do know it was something once shouldn't have or accept. All humans should avoid any weakness either human, mental, physical or emotional weakness.

Run away! I wish I listen to myself also.

3 year old me was too smart for such a age however I know that would be my own strength in the coming years and also my lifetime.

* * *

After my threat that day four years ago, my father had reduced his abuse. I noticed my room was always ransacked everytime I get back home from school however I said nothing. Did he think I was stupid to keep my only evidence inside my own room!?

Tch! Stupid! There was only one reason why he couldn't find the evidence, it was due to the fact that he didn't know what it looked like. All he knew was that I had evidence that could jeopardize his reputation and his being as a public figure.

The evidence was in an obvious place that even I would miss it if I didn't look carefully and think outside the box which was why I knew that the years of beating I had received had made my mind too sharp for a kid.

I was extremely vigilant, yet I tended to act like I wasn't to my sisters, mother and outsiders. My sisters didn't also know that I knew all about their abuse neither did they know I was abused myself. Although we were physically abused, one thing my father never does was cross the line.

He knew my mother always took us to the hospital for full body check-up twice a month. It was her own way of making sure we were safe. Her family's reputation was one thing she didn't take lightly.

Although I couldn't fault her, however, I became disappointed in my mother as years went by. My disappointment in her grew to unbearable extent when even we her children always asked the doctors to keep our result under raps. Still, she had never showed any suspension or any emotion to know if she knew or didn't.

However, I knew she was as clueless as a stone. Even a stone knew what we were going through. Was she really that clueless!? Or was she just ignorant and uncaring?

Well, let's move on. I was finally Seven years old and it was time to move away from home. My training was about to take place in my parents birth country Nigeria.

My mom waved at me with a huge smile on her face like she was happy I was leaving. The car moved further from my abusive life slowly like the driver wanted me to see what happened next.

To my shock I saw the smile disappear from my mother's face and a huge once bloomed in my father's own, the next thing I saw made my eyes tremble. With a raise of his hand he grabbed the back of my mother's neck forcefully before punching her in the gut. I wanted to get down from the moving car, I wanted to scream however, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Turning towards the driver, a questioning look in my face and with a shake of his head I kept quiet. Silent tears escaping my eyes as I watched their retreating figure from the side mirror.

Finally I got my answer. My mother was in an abusive marriage which was her reason for always keeping herself at work.

Has she always been clenching her jaw while basking her pain with a smile in silence? And for how long? I questioned myself however, I didn't know the answer to that question myself. With so many thoughts racing through my mind, I didn't know when I boarded the flight for Nigeria untill the plane was on air.

Steeling my resolve, I hardened my heart. I needed to be brave now, I needed to be strong for my family, I needed to focus for the betterment of my family's future! Weakness, fear, pain and insecurity can't be my friend for the next 18 years of my training. I am Hope and the only hope of my family. I need to be their light in the Darkness.

My bodyguard sat beside me, his gaze hard and expressionless just like it had always been for the seven years I've known him. He was someone I couldn't understand, his expression doesn't show his thoughts or his feelings however, I knew that people like him were the most emotional, damaged and strong willed.

I wanted to have an expression like his. I didn't want my fear to show in my face, I didn't want my insecurity to be read on my face, I didn't want my pain to be written in my face. I wanted to be strong and weak without anyone knowing what was wrong.

I turned to him about to speak when I saw him dipped his hand into his inner Pocket of his jacket bringing out a small book, ATM card and two keys.

The book were the rules in which I needed to follow that my dad left me, the ATM card was what my mother gave to me to survive me for a few years. It was a card my mom personally made for me, and inside the book my father gave me was another card that he owned but gave me to last me for a few years. The keys were for my appointments one for the apartment I would be using till I will be done with secondary school which was also known as highschool. The other was for my appointment on campus in my future university where I was to study business.

The plane landed in Nigeria. Taking a deed breath, I took my first step out of the airport and into the foreign land in which my life would begin fully without a guardian.

My only guardian being my bodyguard.