APOLOGY

I smile unbelievably at the breakfast I have made, of course, with the help of Terry. I really have a lot to learn about this modern life and the ways of the rich. Basically, everything about the rich. First, I have to familiarize myself with this kitchen. The cooker, the ingredients, oh my! I only knew about ginger and garlic, and dhania. These others, huh? I might need to have a booklet about their uses. Sigh!

I arrange everything neatly on the try and walk out with a big smile on my face. Don't ask me why. I am just in a cheerful mood this morning. Why wouldn't I? I woke up to the sight of Jerol snuggling up to me, and the rays of the bright morning sun were smiling at us. His face didn't look so dull today. It seemed like the ghost allowed him to sleep last night. I even remember ogling his peaceful complexion for some minutes, and my heart even jumped with ecstasy before I decided to make us breakfast.

I open the door slowly and walk in kicking it shut with my foot as I proceed to the table near the window. I plop my tray gently. The smile is still evident on my face. This excitement is becoming weird now, though. Or maybe it's the aroma. It must be the effect of these delish chicken burgers. I mean, I have never smelled anything close to this.

I pull the curtains aside, and walk to Jerol. He still has his eyes closed, but I know he is not asleep. I sit beside him, resting my hand on his head.

"Jerol." I call softly, and he opens his eyes. "I brought breakfast." I say, and he sits up, his shirtless chest on display, and my hand drops to his shoulder.

He closes his bottomless orbs, resting his head on the bed, and pulls his knees to the chest. Huh? I thought he was different today. I thought he was better than other days. I guess I was wrong.

Come on, Jerol! I badly want to help you. The clock is ticking way too fast. In about two months I will be leaving this place. I can't leave you this way. I don't want to. My heart will not be at peace at all. I want to...

I didn't know I was caressing his chiselled jaw until I felt his bandaged hand plucking my hand away from his face. I look at him, his eyes on anywhere on my face but my eyes.

"How are you?" I greet, to break the awkwardness. As if I shouldn't have greeted him the moment I called him from sleep earlier. Cha!

Anyways, his response has always been the same - silence. He never responds to my greetings, and I understand. However, I would appreciate it if he tells that he is not okay. That he wants to be okay. That he needs my help. But this silence hurts. So so much. I wish...

"How are you?"

Wait. That hoarse cold voice? It isn't mine.

My eyes drop to his lips. They are slightly parted, giving me a disjointed feeling, but that aside. He really asked me that? Did he really greet me for the very first time in our three months together? Even before he fell into this depression, greetings were out of the question. I guess I was right then. He is different today.

"Jerol..." I start, but his hand traveling to my bandage on the head stops me. He caresses the delicate skin around the bandage with his thumb, the only part of his hand that doesn't have bandages.

I look at him as he scans my forehead. The scar of the previous wound is still visible, and I can feel his gaze on it.

"What else have I done to you?" He implores, his eyes full of remorse and hurt. His voice filled with so much bitterness and worry.

Looking at him, I feel like he is regretting this - hurting me. He feels awful about it.

"Nothing." I mumble, our eyes locking.

He is still caressing me with his finger which I am sure he doesn't he is doing.

"I am sorry, Tessa." He shuts his eyes and his hand leaves my face to drape around my neck, accidentally pulling my face to his. Our faces are just an inch apart. I shiver as I scan his face. "I..." He opens his eyes, and his mouth goes dry.

"It's okay, Jerol. You didn't know what you were doing. Don't worry. I am fine." My voice has never been this husky, and my heart has never beaten this fast. The closure is affecting me in a great way. His breath is burning my face, and when he rests his forehead on mine, he takes all my breath away. My face is shaking against his. He is feeding me something so strong and dominating. I am losing my senses.

"Sorry." He hums on my lips, his breath making my lips part a little. His warmth from his face is burning mine, and his thumb caressing my cheek is adding more to the fire.

He doesn't know what he is doing. He probably thinks this is Ellie - that I am his Ellie. In as much as I want to help, I should stop this. It's not part of the agreement. He doesn't want this with me, I am sure. He is insane, but I am not.

"Tessa!"

A moment of mind-boggling silence.

I open my eyes and scan his, my hands on his bare chest. I can't decipher the look in his eyes. It's kind of a magical look with a very strong spark. I want to hold my gaze longer but I can't. As I shut them again, his wet lips seductively brush mine, setting my whole body in a blaze. His other hand travels to my waist, pulling me to him, pressing his lips hard on mine.

Before I compile the little energy left in me to react, my lips are moving in synch with his in a slow-burn kiss, my nails digging into his chest, compelled by something so strong to allow this. His sweet tongue slips into my mouth, and I push mine in his, and they start to dance together in rhythm as we explore each other's mouth to the furthest corners.

This feels hot and sweet. Savage but tender. He states like cream.

A soft moan echoes in my throat when he attempts to cut this mind-blowing adventure short. My hands move to his back, pulling him to me, begging him not to stop, righting this wrong. I am a needy mess - needy of his kisses. He abandons his mission, and embarks on the kiss again, and I relax with ecstasy, kissing him back with the same hunger and passion, snuggling more into him.

This feels like magic. A sweet magic. Something that can turn into an obsession in a glint. I have never felt this way, and neither did I ever imagine such a sweet feeling exists. I am burning with a fire that I don't want to get out of. I am lost in him and I don't want to be found. I desire him, and I don't want this desire to end. I...

He pulls away slowly, and this time, I know we both need this break. We are huffing so heavily as we rest our foreheads against each other.

"ELLIE!"

Ellie? Fuck!

I thought he knew it was me he was savagely kissing? It's me in his arms and not that...

I try opening my eyes and pushing him away, but I am roughly pulled back to his mouth again, chewing my lips in a more heated hungry kiss. Gosh! They sure will be swollen by the time he is done, and the problem is, I am caged to him and he is so strong.

He shoves his tongue to the furthest corner of my mouth, and then pulls it slowly, biting my lower lip softly as he cups my face. I don't have the strength to meet his eyes so I keep mine closed.

"Tessa!"

Now that made my eyes open as he plants a soft peck on my lips, and starts brushing my lower lip with his thumbs, still keeping my face in between his bandaged palms. His eyes are closed, his sharp nose brushing mine.

Who can understand this weird psycho, huh? ELLIE, TESSA, TESSA, ELLIE... Is this how it is going to be? Why can't he understand that she is not here? I am not her. I can never be her. She and I can never be the same. Jeez!

"I know this is you, Tessa. I want to forget her. I want to get her out of my mind."

AMEN!

It's like he is dreaming, though, because his eyes are still closed as he mumbles, but when he opens them, they speak nothing but the sincerity of what he said. Maybe he is done waiting for her. Perhaps he is tired of this situation.

I raise my hand to his face and pull him for a hug which he doesn't object to. I love how sometimes he behaves like a baby, doing what I want him to without saying anything.

Well, then. It's time to help you forget that bitch, Jerol! I will be the happiest when that happens.

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