Chapter 19: Blue Pill Or Red Pill!
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"Hey, hey, hey, guys, come on. Stop." Homelander urges as The Seven hero's argue over money.
"What's Starlight gonna think?" Gestures to their newest member.
"Listening to us haggling over nickels. We're The Seven, for God's sake. Whether we're out there or we're in here." Pause for dramatic effect.
"Now let's talk about our more important situation." Looks at Starlight. "Starlight. What do you think we should do about this Shifter guy?" He ask's.
"Um." The female blonde stutters. "I'm not sure, I mean I just got here and he's still new." She replies.
"Come on." He urges. "If anything you two are a lot a like." Pauses. "You're new, in different ways, you both want to make your mark, and you both want to help people." He tells her.
"Well I guess." Starlight drags on. "If it were me I would help out wherever I was however I could." He finishes.
"Like in Des Moine if I was on my way to the store, but someone was getting car jacked I'd stop him." She adds.
Homelander then has a look of realization on his face. "What about... on your way from the store?" He asks.
"Yeah that too." Starlight agree's.
"That's it." Gives her the finger gun. "You're brilliant."
"How?" Annie wonders.
Black Noir clears his throat getting everyone's attention. He then holds up a map of New York with several dots on it. On the top it's labeled plainly as 'sitings' for Shifter siting's.
"Thanks Noir." Homelander appreciates. "We'll just wait a bit then have our analysts triangulate his home base." Looks to Starlight. "Good first impression."
"Thank you." Starlight smiles with pride.
"Now..." Homelander drags on. "Let's talk about how many lives we saved today."
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Ben laughs in the back of Butcher's car watching Phineas and Ferb on Disney on his phone.
"How did they build that rollercoaster that big so fast?" He asks, as he watches the characters zoom around a building labeled Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.
He then laughs as the scientist is being beaten by a teal Platypus with a fedora. "These guys are geniuses." He wheezes out.
"Yeah I uh used to love that show." Hughie tells him.
Eventually they stop close to Vought Tower, when they do Hughie ask's. "Do you have a dog."
To which Butcher replies. "No" despite evidence to the contrary.
All right, give us your phone." The Brit requests. "There's fuck-all security to worry about." He assures, before pulling out a small listening device.
"In fact, they're a bunch of muppets. And the metal detector won't pick this up. Right? And what they'll probably do is take you through the security and then up into the boardroom. Sit down. Be nice, congenial. Then, real polite-like, tell 'em you're gonna take a fake shit." He explains.
Ben laughs.
"Go into the bog, take the bug out. Peel back the plastic bit to reveal the sticky side. Put the plastic bit in the bog. Flush it." Butcher continues and sticks up the middle finger at Hughie, who looks on with surprise and nervousness.
"Then go back into the boardroom, sit down... big smiles... plant the bug underneath the table. Easy peasy Japanesey. Bob's your uncle. That's that."
"Isn't lemon squeezey?" Asked, never hearing that version. "Also who's Bob?"
"That's that? That was... that was a lot." Hughie replies to Butcher, both ignoring Ben's comments.
"Th... I've... Hold on, can you just... can you repeat it again? Just a little bit slower?" He requested. "Because I...Fuck." He adds, getting cold feet again.
"Listen Hughie calm down, all right." Butcher requests then takes a moment to think. "This is like that scene in The Matrix." The Brit begins to explain.
"Now, you could take the fucking red pill, right? Spend the rest of your life jacking off, crying into your chai tea green latte, what the fuck. Or..." pauses. "You could take the blue pill."
"Or is it the red pill?" Butcher wonders unsure.
"Just take the other pill." Ben tells Hughie.
"Right." Butcher agree's before adding. "And quit being a cunt."
"Which pill am I supposed to take?" Hughie asks, having gotten lost in the conversation.
"Just quit being a cunt. That's what I'm saying." Butcher replies.
"Fuck me. Okay." Hughie agree's taking the bug and exits the car.
"Good luck." Ben calls out as he heads inside the tower. The two are then left to their own devices as they wait for Hughie to return.
"So how'd you get the kid to post the shit?" Butcher wonders aloud.
"Oh I said you'd get them money and new identities." Ben explains, checking out this TikTok thing.
A lot of the stuff he saw seemed to be just pretty people doing a song and dance to music they didn't even write. People watched this why?
"You did what?" Butcher asks with a bit of anger in his tone as he looked at Ben through the rear view mirror.
"Said I knew I guy in the FBI who would help them." Ben reiterates, then looks up from his phone. "Right?"
"Listen kid." Butcher begins, as he turns around. "Don't go throwing favors like it's candy coming out of fuck-ñata. And no, they on their own."
"But I promised them." Ben tries to convince.
"Well I don't give a fat fuck. Tell the kid and her supe cunt thanks but I can't help them." Butcher tells him. "And let's get one thing clear you don't make any promises at all period."
"Well we have to do something." Ben counters.
"No your it's your shit you choose how to flush it." Butcher replies.
A few moments of silence followed until Butcher broker it. "So how'd you come about that doodad in the first place?" He wondered.
"Oh about a month ago it fell from space and latched onto my arm while I was camping." Ben simply explained.
"No offense mate, but if some shit fell outta the sky that'd be on the news." Butcher told him, not believing. Not even Vought could hide a meteor or satellite crash.
"Well it happened in my dimension so." Ben informs him.
"What the fuck." Butcher replies simply, trying to absorb the knowledge.
Just then Hughie enters the car. Unlike before he has a smile on his face and is full of confidence and bravado.
"Woooooh!" He exclaims. "That was awesome!"
Butcher smiles. "You get the job done?" He ask's already knowing the answer.
"Yeah I fucking got it done!" Hughie replies. "And I look him right in the eye, and I smiled. And that was awesome, man, just getting to stare that asshole down. I get why you dig this job."
"Yeah, you know, it has its moments, doesn't it?" Butcher say's.
"You were right. Fuck A-Train." Hughie adds.
"Good." Butcher say's then starts. "Now here's another fun part. Benji was just about to tell us how he got to this dimension."
"The fuck?" Hughie asks with a smile.
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