*11*
“Separate these egg whites and the yolks.” Sam practically ordered me.
Okay and what and why?!
She snapped her head at me, “Don't tell me Suman, you don't know what egg whites and yolks are!”
Then only i realised, I talked out loud, “No I mean I know what they are but how to separate...I mean you know how much I love egg…” she arched her eyebrow, and amusement crossed her face.
“Oh I didn't know, you like egg. Chalo at least you are normal.” She laughed.
“Of course I like egg...And what are you trying to say! Normal!” Oh! “Sam!”
“What?!” She laughed, “it's normal you know, ek ladka hai jo pagal hoye jaa raha hai, aur tujhe kuch fark bhi nahin padhta.”
“Shut up! He is just my friend. Oh no...He was my friend. Now toh he is going right!” I tried to copy the accent “London you see.”
“He is still here Suman, it must mean something right?! And even if he goes, you should be happy for him.”
“Here the problem is that he didn't tell me that he is going…”
“I didn't know, he had to tell you.” She gave me a pointed look.
Logically though it was right, but I didn't know, why it felt so illogical to me. He was my friend, at least that's what he had always said, now suddenly how could he…
“Please help me with these…” Sam had already separated the whites and yolks of didn't know how many eggs.
“What exactly are you doing?”
“ohhh it's just good for hair.” She said. I nodded, and helped her by holding the bowl full of yolks, I was too tempted to ask, what was she going to do about the smell, but then again thought, it would definitely be good change for her lab partner.
Then my thoughts automatically drifted towards Shravan, Will you be able to manage on your own huh as if I was his responsibility to look after...
“You really need to talk to him.” Sam chuckled, by then the room was already filled with my phone's ringtone. Sam peaked at my phone, “naam liya ki lover boy ka call aa gaya.”
She looked at me and sighed, “What are you not going to pick it up? Don't tell me Suman… just talk to him, don't behave like a kindergarten kid.”
She took the bowl from my hand and put the phone in my hand, talk to him she mouthed.
And of course me being me I royally ignored the call.
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“It's been a month Suman since his suspension is over. Don't you think…”
“Please Sam, not again!” Yes, I hadn't talked to him after that night, and yes he was there all the time, trying to talk to me, well, by clearing his voice loudly which could put frogs into shame, or dropping things a bit harshly as if those things had done some serious offence, or sometimes looking at me narrowing his near perfect light brown eyes as scientists observe their guinea pigs.
“That boy is going to get hyperopia.”
“Hy- what?”
“Hyperopia, a common type of refractive error where distant objects may be seen more clearly than objects that are near. Jaise woh tujhe dekhe ja raha hai, I am sure he can't really see anything that is in his 3 feet radius.” Sam laughed, “Abto lover boy ko sirf aap hi dikh rahe ho, he is not even noticing that our Anita the vixen is actually trying to grab his attention for at least last fifteen minutes.”
“Good for him. He needs to socialise.”
“You just keep shrugging him off, someday you are going to regret. Mark my word Suman.”
“Yaa right.” To which Sam muttered something unintelligible.
But of course the cunning Sam knew what would affect me and what wouldn't. In between the lectures, I kept glancing at Anita and then Shravan. She was sitting right beside him, and whispering something and to which, Shravan's shoulders were shaking lightly. He is laughing! Shravan Malhotra that too laughing?! And people say we have only seven wonders.
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“So Anita?” He stiffened a bit while striding towards our next class.
“Is that the first thing that you want to ask after pretending I don't exist for more than a month?”
I rolled my eyes, “Why so grumpy? Minutes ago you were laughing with her.”
“And how does it concern you?” I practically had to keep running to match his long strides.
“Okay fine, I am sorry. I was just upset that you didn't even bother to tell me that you are going. I thought we were friends…”
“We were?”
“Slow down you yeti…” I huffed, “can't we just talk like normal persons? Like sitting or standing somewhere, not like you flying and me following!”
“I never asked you to follow.”
“Oh come on Shravan...you are going and I was upset, pehle pata hota to…Ohhh!” someone collided with me or rather I bulldozed into someone and fell hard on my back.
“You and your love for the ground.” he murmured and tried to pull me up when my legs refused to be on work again. I looked up, though his comment was meant to be as an insult, his concern dripped eyes said it all.
Up close from here, his furrowed eyebrows, and his jaw adorned by greenish blue stubble, one could say he was really handsome or trying very hard to look appealing enough, but a slight hue under his long lashes and his red rimmed eyes...something is not right.
“Are you Okay Shravan?” I stood up holding his hands, for a millisecond his eyes left mine and he masked his emotions with his stoic expression again.
“I should be the one asking this. Because I am the one who's helping you to stand up.” he smiled.
“Shut up Shravan. What's it? You don't seem good to me.”
“Really?” he barked a laugh and I knew a string of insults was on the way towards me. “You are asking me this after ignoring me and acting like I don't exist?!”
“I didn't ignore you…” he arched his near perfect brows, and I sighed “Okay fine I am sorry for that but shravan all of a sudden you just drop a bomb on me and you can't really expect me to not react.”
“Is it? And you decided not to talk to me anymore?”
And I was out of my logic. I didn't know why I reacted like that, or did I...the fear...the fear of being left alone…but again the question was, when did he become so important? When did I start depending on him that I didn't want him to go away from here...or me?
”What don't have anything to say?” his sharp comment pull me out of my thoughts, “As expected. You are so full of yourself Suman, you can only think about yourself, you don't care what the other person is feeling!” And it stung.
“You were leaving Shravan…” my breath rasped in my throat, “You wanted to leave…”
“I didn't want to leave Suman… and that's what I told you that night. And secondly I don't get the point...even if i want to leave how does it matter to you?” his voice was harsher.
“Mujhe chodna nahin aata Shravan...you are right, I don't care about anyone apart from me but once I care there's no looking back for me...I can't just let go…”
His eyes widened with my confession, instantly his features relaxed, “I told you Suman, I don't want to leave now...I am liking it here.”
“Sorry…”
“Are you going to cry?”
“I can't cry.” I blinked.
“Nonsense, everyone does, but only for that particular person who is important enough.” he shook his head, “we forgot about our class, we have to bunk it now. Let's go to canteen.” he turned and I almost came crashing into him, he never left my hand.
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“So why are you upset?” I asked digging in to my samosa, “You didn't sleep properly.”
“Nani was not well...again that asthma attack.” he looked at me, previous annoyance made a little appearance in his eyes, “I wanted to talk to you, I called you too Suman…”
If possible I wanted to bury myself underneath somewhere, what had I done, “I am so sorry...I didn't…”
“It's fine,” he waved, “sometimes we need to fight our own battle. You can't be everywhere.”
“How is she now?” I asked, not wanting to realise how perfect he was.
“She is fine. Most probably she'll be home by noon.”
“With your parents?”
His stiffened again, “yes, that's why I am still here Suman, or I would have…”
Shravan and his parents, this baggage he was carrying for which feel like eternity, I wanted him to tell me the problem he was going through, but again I knew he would himself when he wanted.
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Veering off the subject totally I asked, “so Anita haan?”
He blinked rapidly with the sudden change of the topic, “Why jealous?”
“Why would I be?”
“You know it better.” he smirked, cleaning the spoon with a tissue, Shravan and his cleanliness.
“I am not jealous...I actually like her, she would look good with you.” I laughed.
“Ohhhh ...hold your horses, she was just talking about the practical and the silly mistake she had done.”
“But you can think about her...she is pretty, smart…” I continued with a smile just to be stopped by a horrific expression on his face. “What?” I asked.
“I always knew something is wrong with you. I didn't know you bat for the other group!”
“What...what are you saying?”
“No i mean, you are into girls.” he cut his samosa with his spoon, spoon and samosa, I wanted to laugh but then the realisation hit me, he meant What?!
“Very funny! But she is good. You can think about her.”
“No i can't.” he put down his spoon, “I can never.”
“Why?”
He gave me a long look, as if contemplating how to put his thoughts into words, “Suman, we men are not as expressive as you girls when it comes to emotions, but for us, it's always one girl, one girl who holds the interest, one girl who can control our mind, only one girl.”
Though I didn't know to which tangent this conversation was going, i said, what came first to my mind, “so you are telling me that all boys are loyal…” I laughed.
“No...I am not saying that...but even for them there is one girl for whom they want to change, for that one girl, all of our logic go straight down the drain.”
And I dared to ask, “and for you that girl would be…”
“Not today...kabhi aur…” he smiled, “Now let's go if you don't want to bunk the next class too.”
~♤~