Chapter 5

It was days before Nikono would wake up. He knew she was going to use that jutsu as soon as she began to weave the signs. He'd only heard about it through rumors on the battlefield. It was a demanding jutsu on both the user and the victim, ensuring death every time. What kind of a toll would this place on Nikono? Witnessing it first hand he hadn't realized just how much she was capable of. And the rumors didn't do it justice. The light, so blinding, the heat felt like the inside of a volcano and Nikono was smack dab in the middle of it. HE turned to Choji and Ino.

"Run!" he screamed. They did as told who knew how far this heat would last. It felt as if the sun itself was raining down on the earth and it scared the hell out of him. They took cover behind trees hoping they wouldn't be disintegrated. When it seemed it couldn't get any brighter or hotter, It all disappeared. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest. Nikono! HE jumped away from the tree and was completely shocked. Everything in direct contact of the blast had been turned to ash. Everything except Nikono, though most of her clothes had been burned off. She sat on top of a rotting pile of melted mush. AS he looked closer he could've sworn he saw something, a white cloud leaving her body. Then she collapsed. He ran to her catching her before she hit the floor. He looked down at the melted flesh of Kakuzu and wanted to throw up. He couldn't even tell what was what.

"Wha-" he heard Choji behind him.

"What was that?" Ino asked, mortified. "How is she still alive?"

"I don't know," he said looking down at her, bruised, battered, broken, and dirty. She was resilient.

"Kakashi sensei," Shikamaru came running through the woods. "What the hell was that light?" They all looked down at Nikono.

"Kakashi sensei!" he thought he was hallucinating Naruto's voice until he saw the highlighter blond hair running towards them. Yamato, Sakura, and Sai in tow.

"What happened here?" Sakura asked in awe.

"Looks like the Blue Flame struck again," Yamato spoke.

"Give me your vest," Kakashi said quickly.

Yamato took off his vest and handed it to Kakashi who quickly wrapped it around Nikono. He picked her up and climbed out of the summit she had made in the ground.

"Is anyone going to explain what happened?" Naruto begged. "We got here too late,"

"We will on the way back, right now we need to get Nikono to the hospital." Kakashi said.

"You guys go, well take care of the body," Yamato said. Kakashi nodded. He ran as fast as he could back to the village and straight to the hospital. She was admitted but they didn't know what was wrong. Doctors said her temperatures were through the charts, she was covered in burns from head to toe, though they said none were severe enough to leave scars. He didn't understand how. The heat had been so intense, and she had been in the middle of it. How had she even learned such a dangerous jutsu? And why?

After they got back Team 10 reported to Lady Tsunade for a debriefing. Pleased to hear the Akatski was temporarily disabled, they were granted a few days off. Normally Kakashi would find a quiet place to read, but his mind kept wandering to Nikono. First thing he did was go home shower and sleep. The next morning, he awoke showered and got ready. Before he thought of any food he had wondered if there was any progress with Nikono. Maybe he should bring her some breakfast in case she woke up. He knew first hand, hospital food wasn't the greatest. But what to get her? It had been so long he didn't even remember the simplest of things, like what she liked to eat. I guess that's the price he has to pay for doing what he did. For pushing her away. He finally decided to stop and get her sweet dumplings. He did remember she would hang out at the dumpling place a lot when they were younger. He'd see her with Asuma and Kurenai and Guy all the time. It didn't take long. Ten minutes and he was back walking down the road towards the hospital. The smell of the sweet dumplings passed through his mask and danced around his nose. They smelled delicious. His mouth began to water as his stomach growled. Just one wouldn't hurt. He quickly stuffed his face so that no one would see. Oh wow these were delicious! Another one wouldn't hurt. He did the same. Then before he knew it he was reaching into an empty bag. Crap. So that's why she always hung out there so much. Well if he didn't bring her food, maybe he should at least get her flowers. Women liked flowers. But she wasn't a normal woman. She was more than that. Would she like flowers? Before he knew it he found himself outside the Yamanaka flower shop. Considering they had the day off he highly doubted Ino would be working and could keep this a secret. What kind of flowers would one get a friend in the hospital? Well it was more than that. He needed to say "I'm sorry for treating you like you didn't exist, I did it because I love you so please forgive me." But then again maybe flowers weren't the best for that conversation. He sighed. He didn't even know what her favorite flowers were. Maybe he should just get her roses. That's what the guys always got the girls in the books. But would she read too much into it? Obviously he wanted to tell her how he felt, but would it freak her out? He let out a desperate sigh. Women are hopeless.

"Kakashi sensei?" He heard Ino's voice.

"Ino," he turned around suprised.

"I figured you'd be resting," he said.

"Sadly there are no days off in a family business," she said. "What brings you in here?"

"N-nothing really," he said. "Just checking in,"

"Oh okay," she paused. "Are you going to go check on Nikono sensei?"

"Probably," he answered.

"You should take her these," she said. She picked up a small bouquet of roses.

"Oh I don't know , I don't want to give her the wrong idea." He muttered.

"I don't think you will be," she said. "Don't worry your secret is safe with me."

"Well.. I... uh..." he froze feeling his face get hot. "Thanks," he handed her the money for the flowers.

"Good luck," she said walking away. What was that supposed to mean? Before he could ask she was gone. Sadly when he got to the hospital she still wasn't awake. He spent all day waiting. And the next, and the next. Nothing changed.

The hospital chairs weren't comfortable, he stood against the wall most of the time. When he got tired he fell asleep in the chairs, what little sleep he got. Doctors and nurses came and went. So did a few others. Konohamaru frequented and kept him company sometimes.

On the fourth night he was woken by a hand on his shoulder lightly shaking him.

"Kakashi," he heard Kurenai. Sure enough when he sat up he saw Kurenai standing next to him. He had fallen asleep sitting in the chair, his head and hands resting on the bed. "How long have you been here?"

"A few days," he answered.

"Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" She said.

"I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I was there." He said.

"She'll be okay," Kurenai said. "She's resilient,"

"Yeah, I know," he said.

"She's stubborn and won't admit it but she still cares." Kurenai said.

"I don't know, she's made it pretty clear that she wants nothing to do with me." He said.

"Only because you did first. She doesn't want to get hurt again." Kurenai said.

"I made a mistake, one I won't make again." He responded looking at her face. She was so peaceful. Her skin looked so soft. She was so beautiful.

"Go get some sleep Kakashi," she said. He sighed and nodded. He looked at the flowers that had now lost their color and were starting to droop. He'll get more tomorrow. He stood and left. The next morning, he woke up got ready and when to the flower shop.

"So did she like them?" Ino asked when he walked in.

"I don't know she's still not awake yet." He said, grabbing another bouquet and handing them to Ino. She took them and wrapped them up. Then handed them back to Kakashi. "Thanks,"

She nodded and he handed her the money then he turned and walked out of the shop. He made his way to the hospital. As he approached her room he noticed an unusual amount of chatter. He walked in to be met by the eyes of Tsunade, Kurenai, as well as a few doctors and nurses.

"Kakashi," Tsunade said.

"Yes," he said glancing down at the flowers then back at her.

"I take it you are here to see Nikono." She said, raising her eyebrows.

He glanced down at the flowers again lowering them to his side then placing them behind his back.

"Yes," then he noticed the worries look on Kurenai's face. "What's wrong?"

"Nikono is missing." Tsunade said.

"Missing? What do you mean she's missing?" He asked.

"We mean at some point last night Nikono got up and walked out of the hospital and now we don't know where she is."

"Where have you guys checked?" He asked.

"Everywhere we can think of, the apartment, her normal hangouts, no one has seen her." Tsunade said. He had a gut feeling he knew where she was at.

Kakashi turned and Beckham to walk away.

"Kakashi where are you going?" Tsunade called.

"To find Nikono," he responded back. If she woke up last night she was probably freaked out. He should have stayed. He shouldn't have left her. There were two places she could be. She was either in her safe place or at his grave. The graveyard was closer. He'd check there first. He walked quickly through the village. Who knew what kind of state she was in. Who knew if she was okay or not. How the heck did she even get out of the hospital without being seen?!

More panic set in. The burns were pretty bad. Why the hell would she leave? Could she even walk? What if they got infected? Finally he jumped onto the rooftop. He jumped from house to house until he got to the graveyard. He ran to the entrance looking around the gravestones frantically. Finally his eyes rested on Asuma's and sure enough, there sat a tan girl with long black hair dressed in a hospital gown. He walked up behind her quietly so he wouldn't startle her. He could hear silent sobs and see her shoulders rise and fall unevenly. He looked closer and could see goosebumps on her skin. He stood next to her, then bent down and knelt next to her. She sniffed and wiped tears from her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I could ask you the same question." He said.

"I had to tell Asuma." She said. "Now he can truly rest."

"I think he knows," Kakashi answered.

"Maybe," she said. "But after all I put him through, those were words he needed to hear from me."

A silence passed between them and the breeze picked up. He could see her shiver. He set down the bouquet he was holding and unzipped his vest. It wasn't much but it was better than what she was wearing. He took off the best and put it over her shoulders. She froze at the touch of his hand. He even reached over and pulled her hair out from under the vest letting it lay on top. She looked in his direction but didn't make eye contact. M

"Thank you," she said. He nodded.

"I meant what I said back at the collection office." Kakshi said. "You don't have to be strong in front of everyone."

"I know," she sniffed. He raised his arm to put it around her shoulders but then hesitated. What if she pinned him to the ground for being some kind of sleeze? She might. But she was in pain. All he wanted to do was hold her. So he gently laid his arm around her shoulders and held her close.

"We knew growing up this life wasn't easy. Shinobi don't live to die old. But I never thought..." she trailed off a small gasp escaping her lips. "I spent my whole life running away from my father, this village, you. And in doing that I wasn't even there to help my own brother, the one who had always been there and loved me."

"It's not your fault," Kakashi said.

"I know," she nodded. "But I could've helped."

"There are a lot of things we could've done differently in the past," Kakashi said. "Hell I'm a prime example of that. But we have to remember, we can't change the past, only live so it doesn't happen again in the future." He promised Rin he was going to confess to Nikono. He promised Asuma he'd take care of her.

Nikono nodded.

"Come on, we need to get you back to the hospital." He said.

"Wait," she responded finally looking at him as silent tears poured out her eyes. "Can we stay just a little longer?"

What should he say? She needs to go back for her injuries. But the look she was giving him, he knew it all too well. Hell he was just glad she wasn't trying to fight him. He hated the sadness in her big brown eyes. He didn't want her to feel the plain he had felt all his life. She didn't deserve that. So he nodded and they sat there for a little while longer.

Eventually they went back to the hospital. She was barefoot but she refused to let Kakashi carry her. Even though every muscle in her body screamed she pushed on. However, he did cling to Kakashi's arm for support. She could only do so much. This is embarrassing. You look weak. Never mind the fact she still didn't know how she felt about him. She was still so confused about his motives. Why was he being so nice to her? After all these years? He didn't seem to mind, but she hated having to rely on someone who had proved himself unreliable in the past.

When they returned to the hospital, doctors and nurses rushed her. They took her in a wheelchair back to her room and hooked her up to the computers. Kakashi hung back in the doorway just watching. She'd be lying if she said she didn't like the attention, but still it made her feel something weird inside. Then suddenly Lady Tsunade came barging in.

"What the hell were you thinking Nikono?" She scolded, her face as red as a tomato. "Where the hell have you been? You're lucky Kakashi found you when he did, do you have any idea about the aftermath of your injuries!?"

"I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, there was just something I had to do." Nikono replied looking at the sheets.

"What could possibly be so important for you to sneak out of the hospital in the condition you're in?!" She exclaimed.

Nikono paused. "I had to tell Asuma," she said quietly. She could hear the frustrating grunt escaping Tsunade's mouth.

"Nikono, you took a big risk using that jutsu." She said walking over to the side of Nikono's bed and sitting down. "We still don't know what it does to your own body or how you even recover from it the way that you do."

Nikono thought back to the time she first used it. She'd been on a mission with the ANBU. It was the same mission in which she found her katana. Not knowing what had happened she was rushed back to the hospital, Tsunade herself saw to her wounds. It was nothing like she had ever seen.

"I'm fine aren't I?" Nikono asked.

"It took four days this time," Tsunade said. "If that doesn't make you nervous," she sighed. "You can't use that jutsu anymore."

"I was desperate, it was a last resort we were all going to get killed." Nikono answered. "I thought it was the only option."

"It's not worth it if you end up killing yourself in the process." Tsunade said. "You Sarutobi and your damn will of fire."

"You have it too," Nikono said. "Or they wouldn't have made you Hokage."

Tsunade sighed. "You're off duty until further notice. Just get better okay?"

Nikono nodded. Tsunade stood and walked to the door.

"Kakashi, my office," she said sternly.

"Yes Lady Hokage," he answered. She walked out the door and he turned to Nikono. She didn't look, she laid her aching head back on the pillow and drifted to sleep. When she awoke, Kurenai was standing at her bed, facing the side table. She turned to see her fixing a bouquet of roses. They were starting to wither and were dropping slightly.

"Those are very pretty thank you," Nikono smiled. Her body still ached and her head still foggy.

"I didn't bring them," Kurenai smiled.

"Oh?" Nikono asked.

"They're gifts from Kakashi." Kurenai answered.

"Kakashi?" Nikono asked, finally sitting up.

"He was here everyday you were asleep." Kurenai said, looking at her then sitting down in the chair. "Didn't want to leave this chair,"

He had been here everyday? Why? How did he know to find here at Asuma's grave? She'd woken up so dazed that day. She didn't know where she was. Then she remembered everything that happened. She had avenged Asuma and she had to tell him so he could rest. Then she remembered what she saw. Asuma. He had been there. It was easy to slip past the nurses. She used what little energy she had to get to the cemetery. She had to tell him in person. She had to talk to him.

"He probably felt bad," Nikono responded. Then she looked at his vest which was laying across the second chair next to her bed. He had something in his hand. A bouquet of roses. Was he replacing the ones he already got for her?

"He was worried," Kurenai answered. "I think you should give him a break, we were all kids back then."

Nikono sighed. She wanted to forgive him. He was her best friend back then. She had given him everything she had and yet... she could still feel the pain of his rejection.

"How are you and the baby?" Nikono asked, changing the subject. Kurenai knew it, but she didn't force it.

"We're okay," she nodded sitting back.

Kurenai stayed for awhile, the two just talking. Then doctors came in and ran a few tests. The day dragged on, not much to do. She had begun to feel better, even began pacing back and forth her room. She had to get her muscles warmed up to move again. She couldn't just sit here in this bed. Night fell quickly but she was wide awake. She stopped at the window and looked out across the village. She wondered how it was going in Shi No Tani. Had negotiations ended yet? Probably not. Her mind wandered to the people. Did they even miss her?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. She turned to see Kakashi. Great the one guy that she finally stopped thinking about.

"You should be resting," his deep voice spoke.

"Hard to do when you're wide awake," she said.

He walked over to the window next to her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. She turned and walked to the bed slowly sitting down.

"Sore, but I'm okay." She said. "What about you?"

"Sore," he said. "But I didn't get beat up as much as you did."

She smirked. "That's nothing, I've had worse beatings."

"Giving your stubbornness I'm not surprised." He said leaning against the wall.

She smiled.

"So what now?" He asked her.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Are you going to stay here or go back?" He asked.

"I'd like to go back," she said. "But Konohamaru needs me here. I'm all he has left and so does Kurenai. She's going to need all the help she can get with the baby."

"Baby?" Kakashi asked surprised.

"Asuma's baby," Nikono said.

"They- they were having a baby?" Kakashi asked, sitting down with surprise written all over his face. Nikono nodded.

"They found out a week before he died," Nikono answered somberly. "They didn't want people to know just yet."

"Wow," Kakashi said sitting back in the chair.

A moment of silence passed. What was she supposed to say?

"Hey Kakashi?" She asked looking at him. When he looked at her she continued. "Thank you... for carrying me to the hospital. I kinda of dig myself into a hole."

"You don't have to thank me, I'd do it again if I had to." He responded.

"Well you didn't have to," she said. "You didn't have to look out for me."

Kakashi took a moment to respond. "I'd rather die than lose you again," he said softly.

Did he really feel that way about her? She didn't know what to think. Her heart beat quickened and her stomach began to churn. Stop it, stop getting your hopes up like some little school girl!

"I know I haven't shown it in the past, but I really do care about you Nikono." He said.

"Why are you talking like this?" She asked. Not looking at him. Was he lying to her? "You've wanted nothing to do with me since you met Rin. What now that she's not here you think you can just come walking back into my life?"

"That's not what happened." He said.

"Kakashi I was there for you for everything. I put my heart on my sleeve for you and then Obito died and all you did was choose her. I was always your second choice."

"That's not true," he said.

"Don't lie to me," she said. "You pushed me away and ran to her instead. I know she used to visit you, I watched you open your door to her seconds after closing it on me. I loved you Kakashi,"

"I know," he responded.

"Then why?" She asked, fighting back tears. Why did he treat her like she didn't exist?

He sighed and leaned forward putting his elbows in his knees.

"The day after Obito died, I had a night terror. One that still haunts me to this day." He began. "You died," his voice was so deep yet soft at the same time it gave her goosebumps. "I know it's stupid, and it's no excuse for they way I acted. But it made me think what if I was cursed? What if I was doomed to watch everyone I ever loved die? And then I realized that you were the one person in my life that I couldn't watch die, because I knew I wouldn't be able to get through it. So I thought if I pushed you away, if I made you hate me then I would protect you from dying just like my dad, Obito, Rin." He said looking at her. "Rin didn't understand. She wanted me to tell you everything I felt and that I should realize it wasn't some stupid curse. Eventually did realize it. She was right. And when she died she made me promise that I would tell you how I truly felt."

What? She had been wrong this whole time. He did care about her. He didn't ignore her because he hated her, it was the opposite. He did it because he cared.

"I understand if you don't forgive me, for the way I acted I don't deserve your forgiveness," he continued. "But when you told me to pick what I wanted, to stay in your life or not... I want to stay in your life because I've loved you for all of mine."

Goosebumps rushed up her arms to her very heart. Not only did he care, he loved her. She didn't know what to say. She reached over grabbing her own leg and pinched herself just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Kakashi noticed.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I used to dream of this moment every day," she choked. "I just had to make sure this wasn't one of those dreams."

Kakashi let out a soft chuckle.

"Asuma knew didn't he?" She asked.

Kakashi nodded. "He figured it out awhile ago, told me I should go see you in Takasaki, but I knew after what I had done you didn't want anything to do with me."

That explains Asuma's letters. See her in Takasaki? What would she have done? What should she do now?

"I don't expect for you to or give me," he repeated. "But," he said more confidently looking her right in the eye. "I'd like to take you to dinner sometime if you'd let me."

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and smiled from ear to ear. She nodded.

"Yes Kakashi, I'd really like that."

She couldn't see his face behind that mask of his but she could see his cheekbones rise as if he were smiling. He reached over touching her hand that had pinched her leg. He had fingerless gloves on, but his fingertips felt so warm.

"I'm really glad you're okay," he said.

"I'm sorry for treating you the way I did when I came back. I realize now you've been tryi to tell me this whole time and I wouldn't listen." She said, still marveling at the fact that he was holding her hand.

"Don't apologize," he said. "You had every right too."

She didn't respond. He cared about her, he had loved her this whole time. And Rin, he didn't choose Rin over herself, Rin advocated for Nikono. Guilt struck her heart as she realized she had hated a dead girl for no reason.

"All this time," she said quietly. "I hated Rin so much because I was jealous."

"You didn't know," he reassured her.

"She had only been nice to me, never deserved the hate I had for her." Nikono said.

"I made you believe something that was false," Kakashi said. "That's my fault,"

Nikono let out a sigh. "I still shouldn't have blamed her."

"The past is the past," he said.

"Yeah," she nodded. "You're right,"

"I should get going, I have to leave for another mission first thing tomorrow." He said letting go of her hand and standing up.

"When will you be back?" She asked.

"It's a recon mission so probably two days tops." He said. "I'll take you to dinner first thing when I get back,"

She smiled. "Okay,"

He turned putting his hands in his pockets and walking to the door.

"Kakashi," she said. He turned and looked at her. "Be safe,"

He nodded. She couldn't see but she knew he smiled.

"I will," he said. "Don't push yourself while I'm gone."

She nodded. "I won't,"

He then turned and walked away. She laid down and fell asleep with a smile on her face.