The Bleak Walker that he Was

Sitting away from Nolan, the disturbed Hannah snorted, her forehead wrinkled. Todd stood not far from her. The fan of the giant vent moved slowly, giving a creaky sound. Hannah could not hide her displeasure.

"Why is he like that?"

"I can smell monstrous, something seething. That man has the look of a monster."

He wasn't that far off. Nolan didn't notice but due to Tania seeping inside his soul. He has slowly developed devilish features. His blood red eyes reeked killing intent. His features have become sharper and yet despite his size he was reeking a foul intimidation that disturbed Todd, who has faced devils and slain them with his sword.

"He's becoming what he hated."

That was the only remark that Todd could give. Hannah listened to him but seeing Nolan who standing behind Vie, tying her grass-like hair into a ponytail. She wondered if the monstrous man that gave her heart a fright a moments ago was him. She agreed with what Todd said but yet looking at him now disturbed her.

"Is this really that frightening man just now?"

She thought. If Nolan could hear her right now. He would wearily smile. He was busy taking care of the girl known as Vie. Although Vie was a woman who has always taken care of herself. And barely let anyone treat her so easily like she was being treated right now. She was a hardened woman who sought the bleak path alone.

But she was now being treated like a sister. Nolan just grabbed hold of her hair. She obeyed and let him do what he wanted. She owed him her life and their days in Oasis was a bit of a treasure for her. The moment she was saved down that well. The sight of seeing Nolan act was quite the sight for her. Unconsciously, she started thinking that he was her big brother. A person that she could rely on. And that was coming from a Bleak Walker like her.

"Where did you?" she asked.

Nolan smiled thinly, "Around, doing what I usually do."

"Killing things?"

"That's fair."

She tapped the back of her hand. She looked at Hannah and Todd who was staring at the other side from where they sat. She thought that their eyes were wary, the calm look on their faces was long gone. She didn't blame them for that. To her, Nolan was someone she rather not become enemies with. She really has no reason to fight the person who saved her in the first place.

"They really look like they are scared of you.

"

"Are they? I was just telling them the consequences. What they are doing is stupid. That was all to it."

"It would still kill the enemies."

"And in exchange, they would become monsters."

"Like what you are becoming, brother?"

She looked at him from her shoulder. Her eyes peeking at the deepest of his heart. Nolan raised a single brow. He moved his hands, finished tying Vie's hair into a ponytail. He then sat beside Vie. His eyes staring at Vie who did not stop eyeing him. He didn't know how to reply to that. But he knew that she must have sensed it.

"The arm?"

"Yes, that left of yours is corrupted. That sword of yours is quite sharp. But the magic alone is something that even a magician like Hannah could conjure. I saw you fight already. I know that you have sets of runes like us. But that sharp blade coating your sword is something I have not heard or seen yet."

"I bound a devil in my soul."

"You did?"

She looked at him with a neutral eye. Nolan found that odd.

"Yes. I only wanted to use the devil's blood to conjure the jet-cutting blade. I made a mistake and the soul of the devil seeped into my soul. Causing this to happen."

He pointed at his hair. Vie nodded at the sight of his white hair and blood-red eyes.

"I see. But isn't it dangerous? If those Crusading Holy Knights find out about this. They will hunt you down. Those men and women are zealous fanatics that would destroy any devil they can find. Even if you are human, just being tainted by the devil means you are a devil too. They will hunt you down."

"I know how to handle them," he smiled confidently.

She nodded, "Is that so? Well, brother, you must have been affected by the fall of Oasis. To think you would seek power like this."

"Yes," he didn't refute. "I am looking for power but I know that this is the only thing that I could. Hah, despite having this sharp blade, I've been defeated."

He thought of Kaiser, the half-dragon who easily ended his life within a few strikes. Vie saw Nolan's crunching face. She could tell that however defeated Nolan. He or she was a monster of a caliber that she could not possibly compete.

"That's surprising."

"What? I may have experience in fighting but it doesn't mean I am good at it."

Nolan lamented. It took him years to become good at fighting. He sweated blood and tears to prove herself to Ciara. Nolan has to trek dangerous places in order to prove himself again to his Bleak Walker brothers and sisters. He was average in terms of fighting and only because of experience and skill that he could hold a candle to this world.

"You are good with the sword though?"

"You will surpass me."

He meant that well. Vie's future was cut off the moment she died in that well. But Nolan knew that Vie has the talent to become better and her poisonous hair was something that would put fear on the hearts of many.

"But..."

Nolan creased his brows. He saw hesitation in her eyes.

"Forgive me, but I don't think I can easily reach that stage. I mean, I do not have Brother's single-mindedly driven obsession. Brother Nolan, you don't see it yourself. But have you ever wondered why you have reached that stage? What made you reach that stage in the first place? Why need it?"

"Of course, I know..."

Nolan knew that he did it for Ciara. But in the end, there was a thought that popped into his head.

The day he spent with Ciara was short but sweet. But the life he spent was mostly a bloody one. He could remember walking down a field of corpses, intoxicated with a victory. His face maddened at the sight of his comrades lying down in blood and corpses. The sun that could not be seen. The light from the mages gave them their light.

He remembered fighting surrounded. He felt so tired that he did not even think of the reason why he was suffering for this. But what Vie said shook his little head. Indeed, he felt so powerless and lost that he dared to seek power from the race that he hated the most. Nolan could not understand this feeling.

The thought of Ciara dying in front of him was his greatest excuse. He truly loved her. He did. But in the end, that time was long forgotten as he marches on a world without her. He made excuses and what not. But at the end of his life, he only thought of her. But in the end did he really still remember the times with her?

Did Nolan Salvatore keep all memories of her? Nolan let Vie's hair go. He lowered his head and thought. Indeed, it was not surprising that along the way he turned himself into an uncaring monster. His excuse was that he let Ciara die. That was the catalyst that allowed him to strive forward, steeling his heart and mind.

But in the end, he truly becomes a Bleak Walker in a sense. Like a fool keeping use of Ciara's memory as a fire that burns his heart. But Nolan now understood that there was a problem within him. He was doubting his love. He was doubting the love that kept him alive and well. If he truly loved her then why was he here in the first place? Why was he somewhere that was not her side?

He became her Knight and was slain by Kaiser. She was doing well in this timeless and she was doing her job perfectly without him. He understood that even in the past or now he was useless to her. She was strong and competent enough. He knew that he was inferior to her in every way. She did not need someone like him.

Inferiority. All he felt was inferiority. Nolan knew that staying with Ciara would feel his hearts doubt. He was anxious and he would be filled with worry that he cannot do anything to protect her. Nolan felt like scum for thinking this. But in the end, he uncovered the truth within his heart. That he has spent so long walking the bleak path that he didn't know how to face her anymore.

His body that was hammered for battle can no longer think of being with her. It was no partly his fault as well the Bleak Walkers are always destined to travel the bleak path. Alone, tugging his cloak, looking for a good place to die. They always wander and that was their fate. Nolan could not escape that curse and even though he knew that he could stay with her. He knew that in the end, he could not let go of the life that he suffered for too long.

"You realize it?"

"Shut up."

"You never wanted her. You just used her memory as a tool. What are you even doing? What are you fighting for? In fact, if you want nothing but battle then why are you stopping them from killing them all? Isn't the pleasure of battle more fulfilling?"

Intoxicated, addicted, Nolan bit his lip hard. He knew that in the end, he was just a Bleak Walker. A filthy bleak walker that wanted nothing but to wander around. He was alive when he walked the earth. He has forgotten that in the end, he accepted Ciara's death. He accepted that the woman she loved was no longer around.

He spent those times killing and wandering. A man that walked the earth along with a few companions. In the end, it turned into a huge army that led a fight against the enemy. He used his brain and wits. He used all of his soul to reach that end. Now, he was back in a world where he could be with her. All of the resolve that he did for her memory. All the lessons he carved into his soul was slowly crumbling apart.

That's why even though he loved. He didn't want to be with her for a reason as petty as this. Fate was not involved in this choice. He merely couldn't understand or know how to function near her. He lost her back then. He accepted that loss and crafted a steel-hearted, calm-hearted man out of his own self. Now, all of that was going to naught. All that resolve was crumbling and he simply did not have the courage to face the woman he engraved in her heart and moved on.

"How pathetic..."

He berated himself. He knew that deep in heart he was afraid. He was already used to be alone and fighting. But now that she was alive again. He could not think of his life as that alone. Nolan, at the end of his life. Simply wanted to take a rest. He simply wanted to perish and embrace death. He has lived long enough. He has seen all the world has to offer. And now he fears that he would not find peace even in death. He feared that even if death he would return again, alive, breathing, squinting at the harsh sun.

He didn't know why he returns back in time when he's killed. He didn't know he has such an ability that did not allow him to embrace the peace of death. It bothered him gently and this single thought put Nolan into a bleak mood. Vie noticed the changed that was happening to Nolan. His eyes were chaotic but then something happens. The bleak aura around him grew harsher. His glowing red eyes showed the sigil. The mark of a bleak walker's hardship and their curse.

"What need is there to weep over things I cannot control?"

There was coldness in his tone. Vie gazed at Nolan who was back to what he was when she met him in Oasis. Cold and calculating.