8 : WANT IT

©S A F I E

CHAPTER 8

ELLE

"I could see you are happy now," Gabriel muttered, his face shining with sweat as he collapsed on the blanket we are currently using. He snatched the sandwich from my hand and bite unto it, closing his lazy eyes and sighing in content.

"Cow," I muttered under my breath, the back of my neck prickling in irritation as I angrily waved a hand at him, giving him the finger. He gave me a smug smile and I cross my arms over my chest, taking another sandwich from our picnic basket.

It was late afternoon but the sun is still up in the sky, furiously glaring down at us. I look around and sigh, glad that I and Gabriel have managed to fool the paparazzi's by dressing up as normal couples, him adorning a red baseball cap while I wear a fedora hat. It is not much, but it wasn't what I usually wear when I am going out. Gabriel also used the old convertible he has inherited from his father's collection, completely throwing the paparazzi's off our trail.

I lean back on the tree, thankful for the shade that it has provided for us. The park is packed with families and children who scuttled around, playing tag; some of them running around with snot running down their nose and dirt on their faces. Their laughter resounded through the park, the playground in a rainbow of yellow overcoats and pink scarves as the little children throw their outfits on the ground, their parents running after them with a stern expression, a scold in the back of their tongues. I shake my head and smiled at how careless the little children appear - so pure and innocent of what is transpiring around them.

I glance at Gabriel and watch him as he stared at them, his face full of hate. I couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face. In a few months, he will have no choice but to bend the knee over a little copy of him, succumbing to the orders of the little bean inside of me. Gabriel glared at me from his seat, his brows furrowed. I rolled my eyes.

"So, how much time do you need to get your energy back? It's not like you drained too much with just giving me a piggyback? I-"

I frown at him, my eyes widening as I watch him leaning closer to me, a mischievous look on his face. He put a finger under my chin and gave me a smile that would've made me collapse on my knees if I were standing. Gabriel let out a sigh before drawing closer, kissing me.

"That would be enough," He whispered, a dimple appearing on his cheek as he smiled. I can feel my cheeks heating up, my ears going deaf for a moment as we both stared at each other, I am caught in a spell! Gabriel turns his head and wipes his hand on his trousers, appearing a bit shy of what he said to me. He stands up, holding a hand out in my direction and I hesitated on taking it, careful of what trick he might have upon his sleeves. I look at his face, trying to check if this is a prank he is going to pull when I see him sincerely smiling at me. Making my decision, I pulled him back.

That action alone made him laugh at me as he returns the same force, pulling me up from the blanket and making me collapse unto him as he staggered. His laugh is vibrating through his chest and I couldn't help but blush at this as he held me closer, his hands pulling me in.

I am about to let go of him when Gabriel carried me up on his arms and twirl me around whispering, "You are one crazy girl."

I smirked, rolling my eyes at his words as I answered back, "I'm your crazy girl,". I stick my tongue out at him as he laughs down at me.

How could Gabriel act this carefree around me? He's been too preserved, too controlled. He had always wanted things done his way but now, as I spend more time with him, it was like peeling another layer of his skin - discovering a part he has hidden deep. it was like he is a Matryoshka, a nesting doll, for he is so unpredictable and you never know what emotion you'll end up with. The way he laughs at my words made me shake my head and tried to stop my heartbeat from quickening.

Get a grip of yourself, Elle.

I dip my head down so that my chin touches my chest and it seems like Gabriel notice the change in my mood. I don't want to spoil it but I suddenly felt suspicious of his deeds - what if he is only doing this so that I will be really hurt once he goes away, once the contract is finished? Gabriel loves playing with people's emotions, ruining lives and dreams - he works on schemes that I myself cannot fathom. Wouldn't that give him the satisfaction - to he hurt me, after all those years I tried to stand up against his twisted ways? I can not let him affect me like this.

I let him put me down as I blushed, my cheeks feeling hot. I know I am glowing red like a cherry tomato but the sudden vulnerability I felt made me feel stupid. Shall I take the risk and let Gabriel woe me like this, treat me as though he really love me?

I mean, does he even have feelings for me?

Embarrassed by how I acted towards his flirtatiously kind ways, I quickly diverted my attention on tidying up our things when suddenly, I was caught into a wave of dizziness. I push my hand against my forehead, feeling the vomit rising from my throat. No, I can't get sick now.

"Elle, are you alright?" His arms steady me as I doubled over, groping my hand as I tried to push him away. Covering my mouth, I panicked–'What if he finds out I'm pregnant? What should I do? Will he like the baby or hate me because of it? Am I ready to tell him? Is he going to accept me and the baby or reject us? Is he going to divorce me once he finds out?'– these thoughts swarmed inside my head like bees.

I tuck a stray hair on my ear and nodded, composing myself as I said, "I'm fine. It's just that, I'm not used to getting pulled so suddenly and the little twirl you gave me is just...a motion sickness" I nodded, more to myself than him, as though I needed to reassure myself that I said the correct excuse. Gabriel frows at me and eyebrow raised. I scratch my eyebrow, touching my forehead as I shrug, "Or maybe, I just ate too much ice cream. "

"Are you sure?" His brows knitted in worry that I bit my tongue again. I hate lying to him but I am only being cautious of myself - trying to be sure of where I will my foot on before I started walking again.

Oh Gabe, how should I tell you about all this?

I nodded at him, unable to form words into a sentence as I continue to bow my head down, afraid that once I raised it and see his emotion. I will fall into his trap. I sigh. Grabbing the basket, I pushed it on his chest and gave him a timid smile, "So, do you still want to finish our deal about the puppy?"

*

It was hard lying to Gabe about what I m feeling but then, as I sit comfortably on the couch with his head settled on my lap, I'd rather do it this way than risking him walking out on me.

I am still not sure about his sincerity towards me and every time he does something extraordinarily chivalrous, making me weak in the knee - I stop and think. I hate to presume about things that will not necessarily come true but knowing Gabriel and his ostentatiously gallivant behaviour - it is not unlikely for him to strung me into puppet strings and control me into believing that he loves me.

I don't want to destroy whatever happiness we have right now by confessing my doubts about his behaviour. It might be unusual but I know, Gabriel has it in him to be caring too. I'm not saying something that is not appropriate at the moment.

I should be labelled a daredevil for gambling my feelings with the devil himself with no reassurance that I will come out alright.

Thoughts about the baby inside of me clouded my mind as I thread my finger in Gabriel's locks, enjoying the silky feeling it brought on my skin. I wanted to tell him about the baby so I can give him enough time to accept that in a few months, someone special will come barging out of my uterus and wreck the whole house with cries for milk and comfort - the problem is, I cannot just pop the idea out. Gabriel is so mercurial and I do not know how he will react to the sudden parenthood he will be plunged into. I'm not neglecting my baby but still, I do not know how I shall make Gabriel understand that no matter what happens, I will be next to him.

I might act selfishly but it's for the future's sake. I need to make sure that everything is fixed between me and Gabe before the baby arrives. I want Gabe to accept the idea of existing in his life and making him promise me that he would do the same to our child. I need him to fully embrace the idea because having a child is not a joke, it is a big responsibility and I wanted to kick myself for getting myself in this situation.

I have not realized it will be this hard.

Threading my hands on his hair, I carefully leaned down and kiss his forehead, sniffing his masculine scent. "Mmff," he looks up at me and pouted. "Is the movie done?" He asked, and I nodded, watching him turn his eyes on the tv that is now showing off the credits.

"I supposed it is or I am probably mistaken because maybe, there are movies that the credits are shown in the middle of it." He just stared back at the tv, rolling his eyes as he muttered. "I'm glad I fell asleep. It was a waste of time-I mean, why would you call a dinosaur BLUE because its colour is blue? It was stupid!" He sat up, almost knocking his head on my chin. He looks back to see my shocked expression as I lean back on the sofa, my fast heartbeat apparent on the side of my throat. Scratching the back of his neck, he shrugs a shoulder, leaning in closer and kissed me.

It was a quick peck - not enough to make me sigh and contemplate about when I am in the bath, just something that holds unto excitement that something big will happen later. He leans back and said in a voice full of pride, "If I were in the movie, I'll name my dinosaur Mac, not Blue. That would be better, right?" I just shrug at his questions as I try to get the attention of our new dog, Choco, named after Gabe's favourite thing in the world. Though I doubt that this 14 weeks old, Cavalier King Charles spaniel would be his favourite.

It seems as though, Gabriel was jealous of him since Choco has won me over as I saw him by the pet shop. He has me wrapped around his little paws as he bounded out of the cage and to my waiting arms making Gabriel cringe and quickly paid for the dog, ushering me out of the shop.

The little puppy stretches its legs and licks at the puppy treat remains in his paws. He is such an innocent little dog. Clapping my hands together, I smiled as the little ball of fur came bounding at us, its ears flapping against its head as it dramatically march towards us. Trying to reach my knees, he hopped. I laugh at his silly attempt, he is such a cute dog, I hope he stays little forever. Leaning down, I carried him up and settled him on my lap, content that I finally have what I've been yearning for months.

"You are so lovely," I kiss his head and the little spaniel barked as he could somewhat, understand me. "Gabriel, what if instead of a dog, this is a baby?" I asked Gabriel who is leaning his head back on the sofa, trying to catch some sleep he so desperately wanted ever since we have arrived home. I turn the dog at his direction making Gabriel do a double-take, his eyes transfixed on the puppy in my hands. "That would never happen."

Choco growled his cute growl at Gabe, his head tickling my cheeks as he barked at Gabriel. Choco snuggled his head back at the comfort of my arms and gave me a pitiful look. I couldn't help but bow my head down, suddenly regretting that I ever asked him that question.

This is just one of those moments where I wish I can just make my lips fall off. His words make me come back to the memory our past on which I was fighting with him on how different a dog is from a baby.

*

'You know what? I could get you a dog if all you ever wanted is a company. You can't get rid of a baby easily, Elle. It takes responsibility. It's a very big responsibility. It might appear to you that they are lovely creatures but no! You need to feed them, take care of them, love them.

‘A dog is different from a baby, Gabe. I'm just asking, okay? No big deal!'

*

"My bad. It came out sounding wrong, sorry." Gabriel scratches the back of his neck, a guilty look plastered in his sleepy eyes, " Of course, a baby can't be like that because they don't look alike." His voice distracted me, making me nod at his direction instead of answering him. "The credits are done, love, let me pop us another movie. Should I get us some popcorn?"

I shake my head and gave a timid smile at Gabe. I watch him as he surf through the list and chose batman, making me roll my eyes. This man, I can't fathom to think what he's got running inside his head. I guess things never change.

He happily sat beside me and I lean on his shoulder. After some time though, my eyes started to feel so droopy. I am so comfortable leaning on Gabe's chest when I didn't realise I have fallen asleep.

A couple of moments passed and I am about to slip into my dream world when I felt his arms around me before lifting me and carrying him. I would love to take a peek at his face during this process but I'm too afraid that he would know I am awake and let me walk the remaining steps back to our room. Giving a kick start on my dramatic act, I sucked in a deep breath as I felt his breath tickle my face.

How can I act asleep if he's pushing my urges awake?

Keeping my mouth slightly open, I regretted it as I felt his mouth on me, my brain going haywire as it wanted to gain some control on my unresponsive limbs. Relax Elle, it was just a quick kiss. Choco grumbled at Gabe this time, interrupting us with his loud little barks "Erf. Erferf."

"Go away, Choco!" Gabriel, whisper shout, his breath tickling my face. The silly dog persisted, making his barks louder.

My thoughts drifted back to the kiss. It was quick, really quick - it happened short enough for me not to savour it.

I am about to fall asleep again when Choco's bark slowly subsided. I have come into a realization that we are now inside the room. With a dip, I felt him lower me down on the mattress and settled beside me, his arms automatically encircling my waist as he snuggled closer, his head in the dip of my neck. I couldn't help but shiver in delight as I felt his body giving me the warmth I've longed for since I've known about love.

•

"Erf, erferf! Wererererrrrrf!"

I turn to my side and rub my eyes. It's only two in the morning and Choco is barking like crazy. Looking back at Gabriel, I slipped carefully from the bed, removing his arms that are holding me like a vice grip, having this sick twisted idea that I have just cooked up about a few minutes ago.

My arms grow goosebumps at the excitement I am feeling. he will hate me for it but it is worth the chance. Gabriel is really influencing me with his sick idea of joking. I hope I am not going to suffer such a pitiful punishment.

"Where do you think you're going?" He whispered in that very sexy sleepy voice of his before opening an eye at me, making me pause. What should I tell him?

"Bathroom. I need to pee." I did not get any reply as his hands moved from my waist and down to his side of the bed.

Inching closer to the door instead of the bathroom, I twisted the knob and closed my eyes tightly as the little ball of fur happily entered. I could swear that I have not taken a breath as Choco jumped up to the bed and began licking his face. I mean, I did not expect Choco will be able to reach the bed.

Leaning closer to the both of them, I was surprised as Gabe began pouting his lips as Choco happily lick it. Oh, I can't help it anymore - I burst out laughing.

With his eyes wide open now because of the sound that I made, Gabe asked the question that made me double over in laughter, "Elle? Did he just do what I think he did?"

I laugh harder.

"Elle!”

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