13 : SPACES

©S A F I E

CHAPTER 13

ELLE

Beep...beep...beep...beeeeep...

I sucked in a deep breath, opening my eyes. The bright light blinded me for a second and as my vision focused, I found Cherry looking at me, her expression unreadable. "What happened?” I cringed as I hear my voice, looking at the tubes that were awkwardly inserted on my arms - the sight of them making me sick in the stomach. "Why are you here?"

"Seriously? Are you really asking me that question? You are the one who fell off the stairs and got a concussion which is why you are here." She snapped at me, standing from her seat. "Let me get you a glass of water."

My throat suddenly felt dry as I slowly process everything that has happened. "I fell off the stairs, I know but the baby....?" She looks at me, ignoring my question as she bends down to check my pulse. "How is my baby, Cherry?" She gives me a look and bowed her head.

"Oh, God. I know this will upset you, but I --"

"Tell me!" I tried to sit up but I end up falling back on my bed, too dizzy to move a lot."Did I lose him?"

"Well, if you are talking about the baby..." she gave me a half a smile before capturing me in a hug, surprising me, "No. You didn't. The baby is safe yet the sad thing is that-"

"What?" I asked.

"You lost your prince charming." She pouts her lips, giving me a pitiful gaze.

At first, I didn't realize what she just said but I when it finally sink in - I felt like my whole being is crumbling. "What?" I bit my lip to stop myself from crying, "but...he can't. He said he won't leave me. He promised he will stay," I shake my head, "This is my fault. I should've told him about the baby sooner. He won't leave me, Cherry, if I only told him the truth. He'll be here with me."

"Elle, shh...it's okay. Everything will be alright. You are better off without him. Let him go." She stroked my hair but her words surge a wave of anger I didn't know was boiling inside of me. I push her away and yanked at the tubes, removing it from my hand. I can feel the tears blurring my vision as my chest constricts, my hand trembling at the sight of blood that has come from the puncture.

"You're a liar, get off me!" I tried to push her away but Cherry is stronger than I. "I know him. He won’t leave me like that. He won't do something like this. He loves me Cherry and I know he will love the baby, too. We're going to be a family, Cherry. We--"

"Elle, believe me, or not, he told me that he wanted to be away from you. He wants you to go back to France. He even bought you a new apartment. Not only that, he gave you half of the company! He has told me that he can't wait to get rid of you because he claims that the baby is not his - that the baby is a bastard!" She snapped but I am not listening. I don't want anything to do with Gabriel's money or his gifts; all I want is for him to be on my side, raising our child. I will change his opinions and make him believe that this is our baby.

I turn to Cherry and asked, "You mean to say that he did all this because he wanted me gone from his life - just because he doesn't believe that the baby is his? " Cherry stands there, frozen in her place, staring at me. "You should've told him that I needed him, Cherry. You could've done something for me and my baby -convinced him or something." I wipe the tears on my cheeks as I turn my gaze away from her.

"I only do what I think is good for you, Elle. I tried to hide the truth about the baby but he was very persistent. He keeps on questioning me so I told him the truth, that you have his child. He doesn't believe it, of course. He thought you've cheated at him.” I look at her, dumbfounded. Did Gabriel really say that I am a cheat? Her face is flushed with annoyance as she pointed out, “Gabriel left you... why do you keep on looking for him? Move on, Elle! He hurt you too much to be with you forever; he will eventually hurt you sooner than you realize it." The way she said the truth made me flinch. Yes, he hated children and no matter how hard it was for me to accept it, his actions are enough for me to understand. He hated his own child for he believes that he wasn't able to have one; because he chose to believe someone and not me.

I cannot help myself as I sank on the bed, trying to curl into a tight ball and cry as Cherry left the room. I take the glass from the table and was about to throw it at the door when I saw the bracelet on my wrist frowning down at it as I slowly let go of the glass - where did this come from?

*

I was released before the end of the week. Neo was the one who drives me home seeing as my mother doesn't know about all these. I'm still not ready to tell my parents about what happened to me and Gabe, and I'm pretty sure that my dear soon-to-be ex-husband will do the honour of informing them.

Especially dad.

My parents treated him as their own son and they care for him as they do for me. I wonder what dad would do to my husband once he knew about all these. Maybe dad will cut Gabriel's Willie, or maybe his berries first?

We finally reached our villa on the outskirts of New York City in about half an hour. I was exhausted of all the stress, feeling helpless as I felt my eyes burn - I just miss him so much. Neo turns the engine off and opens the door for me but I sat there - contemplating the events that happened in my life in just the span of a year and a half.

What can I say? My life really sucks.

I look at Neo as she caressed my face. She has her hands on my back as I finally broke down on the passenger seat, tears and snot ruining her shirt as I sobbed uncontrollably on her shoulders. "He left me, Neo. He left us. He doesn't care if his child will grow without him or not. How could he be so heartless, Neo? Cherry said that Gabriel suspects that I have cheated on him but that's not true. it's not true."

"Oh, Elle. Gabriel is prejudiced with his opinions. He's confused and he thought you have cheated because he did not know that he can reproduce. My brother is not heartless; he's just hurt and when he is hurt, he tends to act like an idiot." I shake my head at her words, "I know he is hurt, but he shouldn't have left me like this, Neo. I need him. I want to hate him but you know that I can't. I just love him so much..." I gripped her shoulders and hang onto her for dear life.

We sat there for a while before she insisted that we have to go inside so I can rest. I let her drag me off the car and inside the house, struggling to walk as I can't help but have the feeling of emptiness as we stood there at the threshold. It reminded me so much of the memories I had with him. Never mind the fights we had but those good memories I loved - those dinners we shared, the movies we watched together, the rituals we had in the morning with Choc slipping under the blankets, licking my and Gabe's face, the alarms, me preparing our breakfast - All of it.

Neola opens the door with the set of keys I gave her, Choc happily bounded on me but I can't help but feel vulnerable of the sight of him. He just reminds me of Gabes's kindness that it felt like it was only yesterday when we adopted him. Neola leads me inside the living room with Choc following our trail. She pulled me down on the sofa, and wipe the tears at the sides of my face. "Oh, Elle...I know it's quite inappropriate for me to say this but I have a feeling that my brother will go back to you soon. He just needed some time to digest his feelings. He has a reason behind all this. "

"But, when, Neo? When will he come back - when I got rid of the baby?" I asked her my face screwed, "Cherry told him about our child and did you know what he said? He told her that the baby is a bastard! That act alone tells me so much about how he feels about the baby." I look at her as she bowed her head, suddenly lost with her own thoughts as she takes Choco at the floor, settling on the sofa. I was surprised when she sighed, her hands moving away from Choco's fur as she scratches her head.

"Well, maybe he needed you to be the one to tell him about the baby, to convince him. He needs you to guide him back. You haven't heard his side but only his actions from someone else's eyes. Cherry could've been lying..." Her words rattled me as I let her continue, giving her a chance to prove to me that I was wrong with my assumptions about Gabriel. "Maybe, he will be gone for just a week then he will come back just like the old times - waking you up in the morning, cooking pancakes and waiting for your child to be born."

She stands from her seat and let Choco runoff on the floor, sniffing for his favourite ball, "Elle, we don't know his version of the story. My brother's such a mysterious man and we all know that but he doesn’t back down from his responsibility. Maybe he's just shocked because you didn't tell him about the baby sooner and knowing it through an accident blows his ego. We have to know both sides of the story. hearing you talk about it from someone else's version makes it sound like codswallop.” She insisted, leaning in so that she can wipe my tears.

She settled next to me and hug me close. We stayed like that, consumed with our thoughts, her hands threaded my hair and I lean in closer, longing for the comfort that her brother cannot provide at the moment.

The afternoon sun faded into night, covering us with darkness. Choco has resigned to his sofa and slept with his paws in front of him. Neola pulls away from me and smiled sadly as she bid me goodbye. She needed to rush off to her apartment to prepare for her flight tomorrow. She's going back to London and sadly, I'll be all alone again with Choco; Like my usual days, minus the fact that Gabriel won't be home again or maybe if he ever goes back, he will kick my sorry ass out of here and get his cave back.

After making myself some hot chocolate, I decided to go to my studio beside our room. I sat in front of my easel and picked up a brush. I was about to dip it unto the jar of paint when I suddenly have this urge to take a sip on the hot chocolate on that particular blue mug sitting in one of our cupboards. Quietly, I made my way down to the kitchen, carrying my mug and putting it by the table. I turn and found myself staring at the red heart patterns drawn on that particular blue mug. I reach my hand to take the mug from the shelves, cradling it

This was his cup.

The thought made my shoulders sagged as a heartbreaking sob made its way on my mouth, making my body shake as I continue to cry. I find it harder to stand so I sat down, cradling the cup, biting my lip and hitting my chest because it hurts so much. I sobbed at my arm and collapse down on the floor, having no courage to stay seated for long. This mug is the very same one I use when preparing his black coffee – the one I spat on when I accidentally drank his coffee rather than my milky one.

Oh my, how am I going to continue living without him if I can't even stop crying because these memories keep popping inside my head?

With a resigned gaze at his mug, I pull myself up in a sitting position and stand, my legs wobbling beneath me as I put the mug down on the counter. Without consuming most of my hot chocolate, I grudgingly made my way up to our room. I lied down on the sheets, smoothing my hands on it. I nestled at his side, trying to trace some of his scent that lightly lingers in his pillow. I sniffed, smiling at the faint smell of his perfume.

"Gabriel?" I hugged his pillow and cried silently, "Why should you leave me so soon? Why didn't you wait for me to wake up?" I whispered to no one in particular, snuggling on the pillow. "You promise me you'll never leave me." I sniffed, loving the effect that it brought me as I calm down. "Dealing with this pain would've been easier if you're here." I cried my heart out, confessing all of my feelings even if he's never here to hear it. I watch the hours ticked by on the bedside table as the memories kept haunting me - the tears won't just dry up as they continue to fall, making me lie half asleep on the cold bed.

I guess, I just have to deal with it and try to move on.

*

I woke up late. I have the most bizarre dream. I’ve heard him, his voice, telling me that he was sorry, that he acted so poorly upon hearing the news. He told me that he blames himself which is why he chose to go away from me. He has a plan. He loves me. And someday, when I am ready, he told me that I shall go to him.

All of this seems unlikely but I can’t help but hang on it. I love him so much that I am willing to believe and wait, praying that his plan would work.

I sat up and stare down at my hands folded on my lap. I remember the good memories of me and him, those memories we shared. Every waking moment is precious as we adopt the life that is forced upon us. We both learn how to live together and after having all those adjustments, not seeing him with me is just as bizarre as I going back to Paris. I rose from the bed and went down the stairs heading for the kitchen, making myself some cereal.

I quietly ate my breakfast, looking at the table and to the seat across me. I can almost see him raised an eyebrow as I glance at him. I shake my head and distracted myself by giving Choco some food to eat. The kitchen is filled with a silence that it is deafening; sadness clinging to my skin as though it were vapour, holding me down. Losing my appetite, I raise from my seat and was about to wash my dish when the doorbell rang.

My heart thudded in excitement - will it be Gabriel? But surely, he has keys to the house, why would he need to ring the bell. Frowning, I went out of the kitchen, passing the parlour and head for the door. I opened it to see his lawyer.

I was astounded. The sudden appearance of his lawyer has filled me with dread. What

"Good morning, Mrs. West." He smiled as I ushered him into the parlous and have him sit on the couch. "Mrs. West, I think you know why I am here, right?"

I just nodded, staring at the envelope he held securely on his lap - nervous of what he might say. "I'm here because of the contract. You see, it only lasts for two years and you only have eight months left to decide whether you want to end or extend it. Have your husband told you about this arrangement?"

"Yes, but Mr. Will. Why are you asking me about it when I have enough time left?"

"Gabriel has arranged your assets in accordance with your transfer of location, he has mentioned to me that you will be leaving for Paris the following months. As such the early suspension of the contract is of my concerned as to why I am here." He fixes his eyes on me, showing pity in his light brown gaze. I turn my eyes away and bow my head - Gabriel has arranged my assets...does this mean that he is kicking me out?

I bit my lip and raised my eyes to meet his gaze, "Mr. Will, can I still fight for an extension even though Gabriel doesn't want it?"

"I'm afraid, not. We needed both parties to arrive into an agreement because this is a joint contract, therefore, we need both of you to consent to the terms and conditions." He nodded, offering the envelope to me, "Otherwise, if you have accepted, you can just sign this and you'll get half of the company under your name including this manor, and an apartment at Paris, too."

I looked at the elegant engraving of my name on the envelope and sigh as I take the envelope from him, "I don't know. Edmund, you-"

"I understand. I know full well that you love him, but he - I don't know - he told me that it is for the better. I reason with him, of course, try to convince him, see, but his mind is set. I really" He sigh and takes my hand on his, "I'm sorry but, it's not my place to tell things about my client."

I nodded, not having the courage to speak, "I'm really sorry, Elle. I hope I can do something but you know Gabriel. What he wants, goes. I'll be back before the end of the month to collect the documents. 'Til we meet again, goodbye and take care of yourself. Just tell me of your concerns and I will make sure that it will reach him”

•

"Mum!"

I look at little KC as she takes three wobbly steps closer to me and Cassandra. We are sitting down on the benches in the backyard, enjoying the sun. I'm pretty glad that Cassandra's here for me when Neo can't. It's been two months since she went back to California.

Oh, I miss that girl.

"She's growing brighter every day..." Cassandra stated as she captures her daughter on her arms. Not knowing what to say, I just nodded my head and bowed, before I softly speak, "It's been two months without him and I miss him dearly."

"Oh, Elle. Don't cry."

I leaned on her shoulder as she brushed my hair, "I-I miss him, Cas. He's everything to me..."

"But this babe is more important than that cow," she smiled at me, kindly. "This baby is the only thing he left you; it means everything to you now. Still, you should know that you have us.”

“I know. But in just a few months I'll be going back to Paris alone with a little mouth to feed." I told her as she looks at me."I'm really sorry, Elle." She hugged me back before helping me up as we enter the house.

We spent the whole evening trying to lighten the mood by watching little KC tumble along with her toys. Mom and dad came by and I appreciate the concern they've shown. I want to tell them about the conflict of our contract and him not wanting our child but I don't want hell to break loose.

All they know is he left me for a very important business meeting across the world. Yeah, right. I wish all of this is just as simple as that.

"Honey, I noticed that you've lost weight? Have you not been drinking your vitamins? How 'bout eating healthy goodies for your little bean? That babe needs nutrition. You are about to reach the end of your second trimester but you haven't even reached the size of a four-month pregnant woman. Cassandra has a bigger stomach than you." my mother babbled on and on about my pregnant state as I chopped my peas in a half, finding it amusing how the knife cut through it, "Elle, have you been listening? My daughter, we can't let the baby inside you to starve to death."

"Mom, don't lecture me about these things because I know what I am doing. Just let me be, okay?" I push myself up and cringe as I felt pain on my left side, "Maybe you should go now. Take Choco with you, I am so tired these days I can't find the energy to care for him. I need my rest so I'll leave you all to it." With that, I climb up the stairs and entered our room, closing the door behind me. Making my way on the bed as I flopped in, not bothering to change into my nightgown.

I turn to his side and grab his pillow. The pain intensified that I cannot help but groan, crying silently as sleep overtook me.

*dream*

"Elle..." I opened my eyes and stared at his ocean orbs, so blue that I can almost feel myself getting lost in them.

"Gabe?"

"Shh, I'm here now. I won't leave you," I was surprised when he suddenly leaned down, his lips touching mine as I blink. "I love you and her..." He smiled, getting on his knees to give a quick peck on the cute baby girl on my arms.

"Ga-"

"Shh," He smiled up at me before snatching the baby from my arms, standing up from his kneeling form "Hush now my daughter, daddy is here...I won't leave you, my princess." He smiled back at me before the dream shifted.

The room went dark. The rocking chair I've sat upon disintegrated into ashes making me land on my butt.

"Gabe?" I saw him walking down the dark hall, the hall that's leading to his study.

"Gabe?!" He turned around and smiled at me, his eyes glinting with an undeniably evil light.

"You could've told me about her, love. We could've lived together as a family but now I'm having what is mine and that is her," He stared down on the bundle on his arms and smiled at me, "My heir...my princess." He chuckled, entering his study.

"GABE! Open the door; give me back my baby...."

But I know the moment the door had close, they're already gone...

*

"No!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I bolted up from my bed as I cried silently, hugging myself.

"Elle?" Someone called, shaking the locked doorknob. "Elle, are you okay?!"

I didn't respond nor did I stand from the bed. I just continue to lie down and weep, trying to forget the hideous dream. I was surprised when the door opens. "Elle," The figure loomed from the light outside of my room, casting a shadow over me, "Oh, my Elle...” She scooped me up from my bed and hugged me.

"Don't cry, my baby, don't cry..." My mother whispered on my ear as she continuously rubbed my back.

"He's going to take my baby away, mum... Gabriel is going to take my baby." I cried out, grabbing my mother's arm as I tried to stop myself from breaking.

"What? What are you saying?" She looked at me with her eyes shining with confusion. "Elle, it's just a dream."

"No," I shake my head at her, "It's Gabe. He left me for good, mom. He doesn't want me and the baby... and now, I've seen him in my dreams, taking my baby." I cried at her, holding her tight as she comforted me.

"Shh, he won't do that to you, Elle. We will make sure that he won't do that...I promise. "My mother vowed, caressing my cheeks as she hums my favourite song, lulling me to sleep.

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