One hour later, I was still awake in my bedroom. My body wanted to sleep but my mind was still actively racing with all that had happened — from the heartbreak Ken gave me so casually as I had meant absolutely nothing to him to the confession that Dennis had made.
Dennis had acted as a gentleman and made it seem that the confession was invalid but I knew it was not.
The act of revealing one feeling is never invalid.
I sighed and stood up before the tossing and thinking that Dennis had earlier described would begin.
I checked the time. It was One in the morning. I really needed to sleep if I could have the mental and physical fitness for tomorrow. I had to try.
I took a glance at the dressing table, noted Ken toiletries intermixed with mine and sighed again. There was no way I could sleep in this room that in the last four months had held as much signature of Ken as mine.
I walked out of the bedroom to the sitting room. Dennis was sprawled full-length on the sofa, soundly asleep. I had given him a pillow and wrapper to cover himself before I bathed and retired into the bedroom. His chest rose and fell slightly with each breath that he took. His face looked peaceful. This was not the first time I was seeing him sleep. Before Ken came into my life and when he was still dating Lisa, we would get drunk when having a late night hang out and then he would sleep on the sofa. It was weird knowing that he was seeing me as more than that kind of friend.
It was sad that he knew I wouldn't be able to reciprocate his feelings. By this time yesterday, I was very much in love with a man who was married to another woman long before he met me. Hell, he had a child long before he met me.
How the fuck did I not notice? How?
You would doubt yourself for long, your intuition, your essence. Everything.
Dennis' words flew across my mind, stilling my thoughts. I bite back a sudden sob, realizing how I was going to be overwhelmed by this predictable sad cycle against my will.
Oh God, how was I going to go through this nightmare?
I went to the couch opposite Dennis and lied down, willing for sleep to come and mercifully steal me away.
Thankfully it did.
When I woke up, it was morning and the sunlight was recklessly finding its way through the windows into the house.
I sniffed. The house smelled of bacon and coffee.
Was I in heaven? I turned to try to find out who was causing such delicious scents only to see that a blanket had been wrapped around me. It must have been Dennis doing because I could not remember waking up to do that. In fact, the sleep had been mercifully peaceful and dreamless. I looked around. Dennis was nowhere to be found.
Now that the bookshelves and minor furniture have been removed, the sitting room seems to be twice as large.
I removed the blanket and stood up. I was stretching when Dennis came in with a tray.
I looked at him stunned.
"Don't say thank you. Good morning would just do."
"No way I won't thank you." I managed to find my voice to reply.
"How did you manage your way around the kitchen?" I walked to the kitchen to go brush my teeth in the sink.
"We have cooled together at least once in that kitchen, you still remember?"
I looked around. Not only had he cooked, he had cleaned up after him.
Was it because Ken messed up or was Dennis always like this?
I brushed my teeth, rinsed my mouth before going back to the sitting room.
"You are so lucky we do not work on weekends." Dennis said with his mouth full. He had already begun to dig into his meal.
"Yeah. Lucky me."
"Are you okay?" He looked at me.
"Yeah, I am. I am just distracted by the work I need to do today." I sat down awkwardly on the sofa which buttresses the fact that I had a lot of thoughts on my mind.
"Have you decided which area to relocate to today?" Dennis said as he ate the last of his meal.
"Maybe Hamilton Avenue?" I had said that without actually thinking. I had been to that place a few times to see a colleague who was a friend as well. It never occurred to me that I would be looking for an apartment in that block even though the thought was unconscious.
"Hamilton Avenue? No fucking way! That is about ten miles or more away from here "
I nudged my head to the side to think about it for a while. "I suppose so."
"Jeez. Gina, you are literally leaving this area completely."
Since I was already eating my breakfast and my mouth was so full I could not speak, I only gave him the look that spelled: 'Ofcourse, that was the plan.'
"How about Chrisland street?" Dennis said, waving his spoon at me. "That is only about four miles away from here."
"What difference would that make? It's just about four miles to King Restaurant and so I can easily go to work from there"
"I would still be able to check up on you when I can."
I sighed. "I really want to leave this suburb completely. Many people in this area knew me and Ken to be an item. I want to leave this place."
"Why are you running away from a place that has been home for over four years since you graduated from college because of Ken. He should be doing the running away. I don't just get, Gina."
"It's not just Ken, Dennis. I am leaving the memories of the crappy relationships in my past. I know you mean well for me as my friend and I really do appreciate that but please, do not insist on this." My eyes were on Dennis and didn't waver as I spoke; My voice was firm and rang clear.
There was a few moments of silence. I held on my breath silently, willing him to be a good sport about my decision. I had lost my boyfriend and my apartment. The last thing I wanted was to be on bad speaking terms with my friend, especially after all he had done.
Dennis finally spoke, "Well if you insist."