Where It All Began (Prologue)

It has been 12 years since that life-changing day, but I cannot help but remember every detail as if it had only happened yesterday...

I was only an innocent child then, clueless about the world and what the people in it were more than capable of. I was still young, ignorant, confused.

I know better now.

But I still wish my eyes had been opened then… before it all went down.

I close my eyes, and I could recall the cold feeling as the sky turned dark that one fateful day. The 5-year old me sat with my legs hanging over the side of the porch, eyes impatiently scanning down the road, waiting for that familiar face to round the corner. I recall, so vividly, that I had been smiling so brightly against the rays of the setting sun and the cold yet silent wind brushing against my face. I was chilled to the bone in nothing but a dress, but I paid no heed.

How long had my papa been on a trip for work by that point?

3 days? 5? Or had it been a week?

Those numbers didn't matter to me anymore.

He was coming home.

I was swinging my legs back and forth, happily humming the tune my mother loved to play on the piano for me during the late hours of the afternoon. My papa loved the song as well, and my mama told me that if I sung it with enough love, the wind would carry it to my papa over the distance.

I sung it horribly that afternoon, but I had hoped the wind felt the heart behind it enough to carry my papa home.

An hour had gone by, but I refused to leave my post outside. I was imagining endless scenarios in my mind where I would greet my papa with a large hug right as he arrived. I would hold his hand as we climbed up the porch steps to enter the front door.

There, mama would greet us and we would all embrace warmly.

The front door creaked open behind me, and I turned my head enough to see my mama's face as she stepped out into the cool air.

"C'mon sweetie. It's getting cold. You can wait for your father inside," She whispered to me with a small smile on her face.

Her beautiful flaming orange hair was in a messy bun and her chocolate doe eyes gazed at me with worry despite her smile. In her hands was one of my favorite jackets, the one with the sewed-on flowers that had shiny beads. Mama had given it to me for my birthday this year.

Even so, I shook my head stubbornly and continued gazing at the road with my eyebrows scrunched up. I was persistent. I wanted to see my father first. I wanted to know he was alright.

Realizing I was too stubborn to listen, my mama gave a small sigh. "I'll give you some candy..."

My face lit up at her words, immediately forgetting my previous mission and I ran inside, squealing. It wasn't as if I didn't love my papa enough. Candies were just something else.

Mama trailed behind me, chuckling amusedly to herself as she shut our front door behind her.

Candy was my ultimate weakness.

She took a caramel candy from her pocket and slowly handed it to me with a twinkle in her eyes, making me giggle.

"Thanks, mama!" I unwrapped the candy and popped it into my mouth, smiling at the yummy flavor. Mama took the opportunity to wrap me up in the jacket as I did so, but at that very moment, the sound of the doorbell ringing echoed throughout the house. All too soon, the candy was forgotten and I ran to the front door.

"Papa's home!"

Mama was laughing loudly, something I loved to hear and she didn't hesitate as she opened the door for me.

There, with the largest smile, stood the strong build of my father, his eyes already open wide.

"Princess...I'm home!" My papa immediately scooped me up, gracing my cheek with a kiss.

"Papa." I hugged him with all I could as he gave mama a quick peck on the lips.

"Eduard..." My mama breathed out and I saw it... the pure unadulterated love. The worry had gone from her eyes as well, and I fell silent for a few seconds as I watched their exchange. I had been but a child, but even then, it was clearly written on their faces the fact that they loved each other with all their heart.

I ruffled my father's blonde hair and let out a giggle.

I remember the happiness surging through my veins that time. I was on the top of the world, the world which I thought I held so strongly in my hands.

Nothing… nothing would ever rival that moment where my heart felt warm.

When I felt loved.

When I felt as if nothing would ever change.

But was I wrong….

I never knew how the illusion of anything being perfect could easily slip right through my fingertips. How my little fingers were much too weak, much too small to even have a semblance of a grasp on the love I had with my family then. I was naive to think that this moment would stay forever...

Life isn't always fair, but I knew it had gone too far when it took something away from me...

My parents...

It was sudden, something I couldn't prevent nor control. I had been useless.

One minute, I was in papa's arms and the next, I was pulled away from him into my mama's hold as I watched him lying dead on the floor, blood spilling from a wound on his back where you could see a deadly knife jutting out.

I could recall, so painfully and so vividly, the bubbling panic that rushed through my veins like a poisonous dam that swallowed all my senses whole.

I remember myself screaming, and I remember the dizzying feeling as my mom rushed us both up the stairs. I will never forget her tear-stained face as she tried to hide the both of us from... them.

But I could hear them climbing up the stairs behind us already and my mama knew.

She ran into a random room, which happened to be the guest bedroom, as she sobbed as quietly as she could, but I could hear it clearly and every sob tore at my quivering heart like tiny knives.

"Mama?" I called out quietly, scared, my voice shaking and unsteady. Fear was my only emotion as I cried with her.

She put a trembling finger to her lips, and I quickly shut my mouth. She looked around frantically and I could hear the footsteps come closer...

And closer...

And closer ...

There was laughter and when the people were close enough, I could hear them taunting, jeering, making fun of us and their voices alone made my skin crawl. "Come out wherever you are."

Without notice, my mother shoved me in a closet, and I let out a silent whimper.

"I love you so much, Raine. Papa does too." My mind, my little brain couldn't process what was happening. I didn't get it, but I nodded in shock as my heart thumped wildly in my chest.

My mama looked so frightened. Her brown eyes looking down at me with so much fear.

"I love you guys too," I managed to respond which only made my mama cry harder.

"Raine, I want you to stay here and promise never to make a noise. We're gonna play hide and seek and the silent game at the same time alright?" Mama choked out.

I opened my mouth to say something when a loud crashing filled my ears.

"Where are you?!" One man bellowed, and I saw my mom stiffen as more tears streamed down her beautiful face.

I covered my ears when something else went crashing outside the door.

"Where will you hide mommy?" She forced out a smile but didn't say anything.

Wasn't she going to hide?

"Shh... I love you." And she shut the doors on my face, covering the room with an unsettling darkness.

I shook in fear and went to scream for her when I remembered I was supposed to be silent, so I shut my mouth yet again. My lips were trembling so bad that I had to bite down on my bottom lip to keep from making a sound.

I was going to make mama happy.

I was going to be silent.

I was going to win the game so we could meet again after all this.

The sounds of a door slamming open and heavy footsteps floated to my ears. The sounds scared me, but there was nothing I could do but cry and cry and cry as I faced those doors.

"Well lookie here. You always did try to act all tough. Where is your strength now?!" A man's voice mocked, and I could only guess that he was talking to my mama.

I froze.

Did mama not get to hide?

"Where's the kid?" There was a deafening silence and I sat up straighter. The kid? Were they there for me? I didn't even know these people.

But the sound of a large slap echoed throughout the house.

"Answer me!" The man yelled, this time much louder. I was cowering against the back of the closet by that point.

"Never," came my mama's icy response, her voice never wavering.

And it was then when I heard it all. Every kick, every punch, every hit they laid on her body as she tried her hard to stifle her screams.

I had gone so numb, so numb that I didn't even realize that my mouth had been wide open in a silent scream this whole time.

All I saw was darkness.

All I heard was pain.

All I felt was the emptiness that would define my life after all this.

Mama...

Then it all fell silent, so silent that I thought they could hear the beating of my heart.

"She's dead."

Dead...

Dead...

Dead...

When had I stopped breathing? When had my hands turned cold and frozen grasping the wall behind me? When? When? When can this end?

Mama?

Mama?

Say something mama...

A young child I had been, one who did not understand the consequences and severity of what death truly was, but I understood enough that at that point, I was now alone.

My parents were gone.

I had lost the world.

That world crumbled around me.

I was alone...

I was never the same again...