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The Average DC Experience (COMPLETED)

One bad day is all it takes to send an average man to the fringes of madness, or so a wise, demented clown once said. But if one bad day that started with getting fired and ended with a meteor falling over one such average man's head didn't drive him insane, then maybe waking up in a fictional world full of monsters would do the trick? ... Are you sick of the usual power-wank, wish-fulfillment garbage? Are you tired of one-dimensional fanfiction protagonists? Have you had your fill of monotonous monologues and forced dialogues? Do you want to see steady, slow character development and power level growth? If you answered yes to all those questions, then congratulations! This is the story for you! ... I own nothing. All rights belong to their respective owners.

Wicked132 · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
320 Chs

The Pink Menace #83

"I knew I'd be able to get your attention..." Eduardo Flamingo said, straightening his pink jacket as he watched his target appear from the shadows and slowly walk towards him.

"You vigilante types are all the same, after all..." the pink assassin added, a wide grin splitting his face. He dramatically spread his arms apart and laughed.

"All it took was a bit of showboating, beating the occasional pedestrian, and calling you out in public to get you right where I want you..." Eduardo said with a manic chuckle as he relaxed his arms, allowing them to fall to his sides.

"It's the oldest trick in the book, and you fell for it like an anvil from a skyscraper," the mercenary concluded as he retrieved a pink detonation device from his similarly colored jacket.

He was Eduardo Flamingo, the Penitente Cartel's top enforcer, and one of the most feared assassins in the world. He was famous for his cannibalistic tendencies, as he would eat the faces of his victims after killing them.

Despite his ridiculous appearance and demeanor, Flamingo had an impeccable kill record. He never failed to eliminate his target as he killed countless people during his years-long career as an assassin.

And his target for the day, the vigilante known as Wraith, would be nothing more than an afternoon meal and another number on his spotless ledger.

Or so Flamingo thought as he held on to the trigger in his hand, observing Wraith and looking forward to the vigilante's reactions to the grand revelation of his master plan.

However...

"Let me stop you right there, pal," Wraith said, his tone laced with no small amount of amusement, much to the demented mercenary's confusion as he tilted his head.

"Your plan was hot garbage. Only an idiot would fall for that kind of shabby schemed..." the vigilante intently added, turning to a dark corner of the empty construction site.

"But you know what? I'll humor you. Go ahead, activate that monitor, and show me the civilians you took hostage to threaten me," Wraith impatiently remarked while gesturing to the screen hidden beneath a white cloth.

Hearing those words, Flamingo started having second thoughts, but he was already in too deep to back down now. After a bit of hesitation, he moved and removed the cloth, revealing the monitor beneath it.

It was on, showing the live footage of a family of five, blindfolded and tied together with a single rope on the ground with a stack of pink dynamite attached to their bindings.

Looking at the screen, Doflamingo held back a sigh of relief, and the smugness returned to his visage as he tightened his grip on the detonation device.

"You had me worried there for a second. But that's as far as you'll go..." the demented mercenary said with a loud laugh, trying to hide his relief.

"Vigilantes... all you know is charging head first with no considerations," he added with a derisive snort and a shake of his head. Flamingo was blatantly looking down on the vigilante and his pathetic attempt to look calm and collected.

"But I'm not here to mince words with you. You already understand the situation. You will do as I say or else—" Flamingo said, his thumb resting on the trigger, but Wraith cut him off before he could continue.

"Or you'll blow the poor innocent family to oblivion, no?" Wraith said with a light chuckle, shaking his head in genuine exasperation. "Bit cliched, but simple and effective..." he blankly added after he stopped laughing in ridicule.

"I've had enough of your impudence! You will shut your mouth, or those people get it!" the pink psychopath exclaimed, his hand trembling in righteous rage as he pointed at the monitor.

"Go ahead then, give it to them," Wraith said, invitingly gesturing for him to do it, much to Flamingo's confusion. "How did you really think this would go?" the vigilante asked with a sigh, holding his forehead over the helmet in frustration.

"You're a psychopath who eats people's faces... did you really think I'd just surrender and let you kill me?" the vigilante asked, his tone getting colder with every word.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that you'll let those people go if I let you kill me or capture me?" Wraith asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You... what kind of fucking hero are you?!" Flamingo exclaimed, his tone a mixture of confusion and rage as he finally began losing his cool at not being in control.

"I'm no hero. And Even if I am one, even if I believe you, it wouldn't change a thing," the vigilante icily reasoned, causing Flamingo's expression to turn ugly.

"As long as I'm alive, I can save hundreds, thousands of people, so why would I, or anyone else, die for these five people?" Wraith concluded, heaving a final sigh and relaxing his arms.

Flamingo took a second to process Wraith's words and opened his mouth to retort. But nothing came out as he alternated his gaze between the vigilante, the trigger in his hands, and the monitor showing the hostages.

The demented mercenary stood rooted in place as the awkward silence stretched for a full minute. Wraith was content to watch, enjoying the conflicted expression on Flamingo's face.

"You're good..." Flamingo said, regaining his smile as he grinned at the vigilante. "You almost had me, but you're bluffing, aren't you?" he added with a loud cackle.

"What was the next step? Were you going to threaten to kill me if I blew up those people?" Flamingo asked, shaking his head as he calmed down and stopped laughing.

"I gotta say, you almost convinced me with your act, but I see it now. You're full of shit, just like all the other heroes," Flamingo said as he caressed the pink detonation finger with his thumb.

"Now, this is your final chance. Surrender immediately, or I'll blow those people to shreds," the mercenary hatefully concluded, his expression distorting in rage.

"Do it," Wraith replied, his tone bored as he faked a yawn. "I won't kill you either way. But I will be breaking every bone in your body. Whether you press that button or not changes nothing," the vigilante added in a matter-of-fact tone that grated Flamingo's nerves, finally causing him to snap.

"Then let their blood be on your hand!" Flamingo exclaimed, looking away from Wraith for a fraction of a second as he turned to the trigger, prepared to press it and kill the hostages.

However, a massive pain overcame Flamingo as a gunshot echoed in the empty construction site. He felt something hit his hand, forcing him to let go of the trigger.

The pink detonation remote wasn't the only thing that flew off his palm. He watched in horror as his thumb and index finger also fell before his eyes when he collapsed on the ground, clutching his profusely bleeding hand.

The demented mercenary's eyes widened in disbelief, and he raised his head to look at Wraith, holding a black pistol in his hands as he slowly walked towards him.

He gritted his teeth as he inspected the area, looking for the trigger, and he quickly found it. Flamingo grinned as he reached for the remote detonator with his intact arm.

"Nice trick, but they'll still die," the mercenary exclaimed as he quickly pressed the pink button on the detonator with a broad, maniacal grin and braced himself for the explosion.

Flamingo's grin turned stiff as the explosion he expected didn't happen. And he began frantically and repeatedly clicking the pink detonation button, still to no avail.

The mercenary only stopped pressing the detonator when Wraith reached him and buried his boot in his stomach, causing him to grunt and let go of the remote again.

"Did I ever tell you about the definition of insanity...?" Wraith said as he kneeled before the mercenary with what the latter imagined to be a mocking smile under the vigilante's helmet.

"It's repeating the same thing over and over, expecting a different result every time," Wraith added with a chuckle. He picked up the pink detonator, waving it in front of Flamingo's face.

"See this..." the vigilante remarked as he pressed the button. Nothing happened still. "Now look over there..." he added, gesturing towards the monitor that showed the hostages.

Flamingo turned to the monitor. His eyes widened as the footage suddenly changed, showing nothing but an empty room. No hostages or bombs in sight.

"The footage was a loop... I already disarmed the bombs and got the family out before coming here," Wraith stated with a chuckle. "As I said, I was just humoring you to see how big a fool you'd make of yourself..." he added, in no small amount of amusement.

"And you... how was it again...? Oh yes— you fell for it like an anvil from a skyscraper because, after all, you megalomanic psychopaths are all the same, are you not?

...

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