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The Average DC Experience (COMPLETED)

One bad day is all it takes to send an average man to the fringes of madness, or so a wise, demented clown once said. But if one bad day that started with getting fired and ended with a meteor falling over one such average man's head didn't drive him insane, then maybe waking up in a fictional world full of monsters would do the trick? ... Are you sick of the usual power-wank, wish-fulfillment garbage? Are you tired of one-dimensional fanfiction protagonists? Have you had your fill of monotonous monologues and forced dialogues? Do you want to see steady, slow character development and power level growth? If you answered yes to all those questions, then congratulations! This is the story for you! ... I own nothing. All rights belong to their respective owners.

Wicked132 · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
322 Chs

Salesman Doing Sales #269

One day later

GCPD commissioner's office

"Agent Ralph Bundy, thank you for coming on such short notice..." I said as I got up, extending my hand toward the middle-aged CIA agent in a black suit.

"Don't mention it. Commissioner Tiegel here gave me a sales pitch I couldn't refuse..." He replied as he shook my hand with a nod before approaching Deborah and doing the same.

"We're all busy people, so let's not waste each other's time and talk business..." The agent said as he sat down after Deborah smiled at him and gestured for the couch.

"Very well, I won't beat around the bush, then. I know where the League of Shadows are holed up..." I said as I sat down and turned to the agent. "I'm willing to share that information, but I have conditions..." I added, causing him to raise an eyebrow, though he continued to listen quietly.

"First, I'd like to be involved in the operation and on the field when it happens..." I said. "With Batman gone, low lives need to understand that there's still someone protecting the city or the crime rates will only keep rising..." I added, causing the agent to nod after some thought.

"Of course, I'd like my fair share of the credit because my involvement would be meaningless otherwise," I went on, raising an arm to cut the agent off before he could speak.

"The second and final condition is that I'd like Harley Quinn, Deadshot, and Lady Vic to participate and get their fair share of credits as well," I concluded, leaning back into my chair and going quiet as I waited for a reply.

"I'm fully authorized to agree on the first condition. You see, my superiors have a rather high opinion of you..." The agent said after a brief pause as he seemed to process my words.

"As for the second... I don't have the authority to make that decision..." He added with a sigh, shaking his head. "I'd have to take to the higher-ups, but I doubt they'd agree," He went on.

"If you've got a sales pitch for the second condition, now's the time to use it..." He continued, frowning as he trailed off. "I'll be sure to present it to my superiors to the best of my ability, at the very least," He concluded, crossing his arms.

"Well, it's pretty simple. It's no secret that the US government tried and failed to enlist super soldiers into their service through various means..." I blankly said, causing the agent's frown to become more pronounced.

"I'm willing to give them perfectly legitimate means to obtain the services of meta humans and highly skilled mercenaries..." I added, showing a business smile, unbothered by the agent's frown.

"What's more, my way would match the capitalistic values of our great nation; zero slavery involved..." I added with a chuckle, which drew a bitter smile from agent Bundy.

"I wasn't lying when I said my company would expand to other business endeavors, and 'security' services happens to be one of them..." I continued, pausing for a second.

"I also publicly promised to pledge at least 80% of my company's revenue to better the city of Gotham, so it's a win-win situation for the government," I went on, watching with a smile as the agent's expression began shifting.

"Not only will you get your super soldiers, but I will use most of the money I take from your hands and other customers and use it to develop this country, starting from Gotham..." I went on, taking a deep breath as I paused.

"Let's say that having Harley Quinn, Deadshot, and Lady Vic participate in the operation will be a slight demo to the actual service..." I concluded, letting out a drawn breath as I stopped talking.

"That's one hell of a sales pitch..." The agent said, sighing as he scratched his head. "I can't say that I don't like it, but it's not up to me to decide," He added with a helpless shrug.

"I'll take your proposal to my superiors word for word, and that's all I can promise..." He said as he raised his wrist to check the time. "I have to go now, but we'll be in touch," He added as he stood up, prompting Deborah and me to do the same.

"It's been a pleasure. Mr. Whitlock, commissioner Tiegel..." The agent concluded, shaking our hands before making for the exit and leaving Deborah's office.

"That went..." Deborah said as she slowly turned to face me. "Well...?" She asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"As well as it could have..." I replied with a shrug. "Agent Bundy was just a messenger. It's up to his superiors to decide, but something tells me they'd agree..." I added with a chuckle.

It was a golden opportunity to hit a shit ton of birds with one stone, so I couldn't help but risk it and put my cards on the table. Not only will I be able to deter anyone outsiders from invading Gotham if they agree, but I'll also hasten the three "former villains" release and set the first stone in enacting my goals.

The CIA spooks will be anxious to get Ras Al-Ghul and his League of Assains as they desperately needed a victory to win back the public favor after the big fiasco, which was Amanda Waller and Task Force X.

Naturally, they wouldn't be in the mood to wait out the legal process of getting Harley, Deadshot, and Lady Vic on parole before acting, meaning they'd have to step in and hasten the process.

The offer I gave agent Bundy was so sweet I didn't even need to sugar coat it. Honestly, it will be dumb to refuse it, but in a world ruled by comic book logic, I didn't put anything past anyone, so I was ready to make it happen, even if I had to use more underhanded methods.

One way or the other, the League of Shadows will be gone; I'll get what I want, and everyone will be better off at the end of the day. Well, maybe not everyone since I'll be throwing Ras Al-Ghul and his mary band of assassins under the bus to get there, but you get the idea.

"In any case, it looks like I held you here beyond your work hours..." I said, changing the subject as I checked the time. "How about I buy dinner to make it up, commissioner...?" I asked with a smile.

"Well, I'll be delighted to accept your kind offer, Mr. Whitlock..." Deborah replied, rolling her eyes at me. "But it better be something expensive. Getting you the meeting wasn't easy, you know..." She added, crossing her arms.

"Nothing but the best for the hard-working commissioner..." I said with a chuckle as I opened the door and held it, gesturing for Deborah to go first.

...

Later

Gray's hideout

"I should definitely make a habit of eating out in expensive restaurants more often..." I muttered to no one in particular as I plopped into my couch, petting Little Soot's back as he curled into a ball next to me.

Though the prices were outrageous and the servings were minuscule, the taste was worth it, and I had money to spare and then some.

In any case, the dinner was by no means a date or anything of that nature. It was just a casual meal between two friends who happened to be of opposite genders.

I might have rediscovered my fondness for the opposite sex, but you won't catch me chasing after every skirt I come across. Women are dramatic creatures, and I didn't have the time nor patience to deal with more than one at a time.

Still, I couldn't help but freeze as I realized I had nothing urgent to do when I got off the couch and turned to my work room. "Huh..." I scratched my head as I looked around, my gaze settling on one of the magic artifacts I plundered from Faust's hideouts.

My eyes lit up as enlightenment hit, causing me to chuckle as I walked toward the workroom, picking up several of the sorcerer's artifacts along the way.

You see, I rather enjoyed not having a sword hanging over my head, and I hated getting dragged into other people's messes more than words could describe. However, it was only a matter of time before I was engulfed in someone's mess since villains don't half-ass their diabolical, world-ending plans.

Luckily, I had the means to stop a good number of the said diabolical plans without stepping out of my hideout, which was my newly-gained Dark Arts skill.

Thanks to my comic book knowledge, I knew of several catastrophes and the people responsible for them. And thanks to my Dark Arts skill, I had the means to make their lives very complicated without even stepping out of my hideout.

"Let's see... there's Maxwell Lord... then there's..."

...

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