A Glimpse of Epiphany

My heartbeat followed the rhythm of the light tapping and clicking of my pen against my notebook. I hug myself on one of the corners of my apartment's corridors to get a view of the city at the highest point of the sun this noon.

Frustration crawls as I can't get to finish a couple of lines down a song I was trying to write. A song about a little girl who wanted to venture into the world on her own. Corny, huh?

A few tenants passed along and stared blankly at me from afar. They knew it would be me. Who else would wander lonely corners and spaces of this apartment building clutching onto her notebook and pen writing lines she never lets anyone read with a sad playlist screaming into her earbuds?

Just when I couldn't write anymore, I shut my notebook and called it a day. I walk my way back to my apartment to prep a quick brunch. I tune in to more of my favorite songs as I gobble up the Caesar Salad and drink the fresh mango smoothie from yesterday's grocery.

I switch my PC on and get ready for work. This is such an unconventional daily routine to have, but it is what it is. An endless playlist of songs to keep me company the entire time keeps me up. As I boot my PC up, I regularly scroll through social media and login to work.

Boring, huh? The scroll through social media is what kills me most. That five to ten-minute allocation reminds me to question why I would never lose weight, or I won't even try to be pretty. I just wouldn't because it isn't something that bothers me at all.

After a long day at work, I log out of work and switch to my gaming realm. A mood I set after a work day to be able to relieve stress and enjoy freely online. This has been a cycle that has been working for over a year now of living alone and working from home.

I keep my online profile as honest as I am as some of my clients do a check on who I am. I want to keep the gamer profile a part of my portfolio to make it easier to introduce myself.

I felt even more exposed online when I freelanced on multiple clients as I needed to show them who I am to give them better insights into what I do and who I am.

It was like me stripping naked online for everyone.

It was a cycle of sleeping, waking up, writing, eating, working, and gaming day by day. During my time off, I would take a stroll to the grocery to buy my weekly supplies and head to the beach to write and compose myself. I would ponder and listen to my endless playlist.

It's always the lyrics that I can't stop listening to. I would sometimes find myself bringing a bottle of soju and drinking my heart out as I write sad lines for a boy I don't even know.

I walk my way home when the skies are dark and there is nobody in the way. I bring a bag of groceries and silently make my way to the twelfth floor of my fifteen-story apartment. Clutching the bag of groceries, I clumsily find my room key in the mess of my sling bag and make my way in.

Sighing, I keep my groceries and arrange everything else. When I finish, I take a warm shower to ease myself. I start gaming afterward. What else is there to do on a perfect Saturday evening?

Minutes and hours of gaming passed and I lost track of time as always. In the quietest dawn of Sunday, I am left with a multiplayer quest where I need to cooperate with one of the members of the gaming community I am in to complete the quest.

It's three in the morning and most of the people are fast asleep. Nearly everyone in the community is asleep until a name almost unfamiliar to me pops up.

SugarRush.

Whoever SugarRush is is in-game in the same game I am in. I clicked on his profile and started typing: You up to help me with a quest?

Hesitating once more, I deleted my message and sighed. It would be super awkward to send a message at three in the morning asking for help. It felt dumb but I felt desperate at the time to be able to unlock greater rewards.

For the third time, I clicked on his profile and typed: I have a multiplayer quest and hope you are up to help me complete it. TIA~

The chat was sent and I felt a quarter percent dumber. My message felt super desperate and awkward all at once. I sent it anyway and there was no way to take it back.

I waited.

And waited.

Maybe he's just in-game.

Maybe he is away from the keyboard but appearing online.

Or he is laughing ridiculing a desperate gamer like me for asking his help.

SugarRush is typing...

I don't know why I felt excited and nervous at the same time. Probably because we were not well-acquainted and he was the only option at this time. My virtual friends are all asleep and offline so I did not have any choice.

SugarRush and I did have a few encounters back then as a few of my friends from the same community remarked him for being less friendly with the fewest interactions with everyone else as he focused on grinding his way up and completing missions and achieving rewards.

Hey, sorry for the late reply, was AFK. Anyways, sure! I'm still logged in, let me get to you!

Woah! Just woah! Weirdly, my cheeks flushed. I am not supposed to feel this way from a stranger, but he is willing to help out! I happily typed: OMG thank you so much!

He found me without trouble. His in-game microphone switched on and he said, "Hey, let's complete your mission."

"Thank you so much for helping me out. It's dumb but, I appreciate it," I couldn't find the air to say it without catching my breath. By now, SugarRush must think I am so stupid.

He laughs, "Hey, don't overthink too much! It's cool with me."

He is a couple of levels advanced because of course, he is dedicated to grinding his way up in this game while I am lowkey playing to relieve stress and just to pass the time. He helped me complete the game without trouble, and as we went offline, I typed a chat for him: Thanks again! I appreciate it!

Anytime! Good night! His response was quick and short. But my heartbeats were shorter, and the rush lingered in me. I blushed at all this. Crazy, silly me!

I shut down my PC and get prepped up for bed. I hug my blanket and as I close my eyes, I think of SugarRush. What a crazy encounter!

My heartbeat races once more at the thought.

And as I close my eyes, a wide smile spreads throughout my face.