Once Christmas had passed, the whole world could feel the end of the year approaching.
The day after spending Christmas with Mahiru, Amane went out to do a bit of shopping
on his own. By the time he was finished, his surroundings had undergone a dramatic
shift, and Amane admired the new scenery on his way home.
The lights strung up around the city remained, but the ornamented trees and Christmas
decorations had already been replaced with more traditional Japanese adornments.
The shops had also updated their merchandise, selling New Year's decorations and
foods. If there were any Christmas things still in stock, at best they had been reduced
in price and were displayed under INVENTORY CLEAR-OUT SALE labels.
Amane nestled his face deeper into the billowy folds of his scarf as he pondered the
sudden changeover. Mahiru had given him the monochrome houndstooth-patterned
scarf as a Christmas present. It was both practical and tasteful; it looked stylish and
felt very nice to the touch, and most importantly, it kept the chilly winter winds at bay.
Amane had never really worn a scarf before, so he was feeling grateful for this one as
he checked over the contents of the shopping bags hanging from his arms.
Though the two of them were supposed to share this responsibility—in order to
reduce the burden on Mahiru, who did all the cooking—Amane usually went out to
buy the ingredients, armed with a shopping list.
It was a cold day, and Amane's bags were stuffed with vegetables and mushrooms and
meat—Mahiru must have been planning to make a hot pot. The plentiful vegetables
were her way of wordlessly insisting that Amane eat a more balanced, nutritious diet.
He laughed quietly to himself, amused that Mahiru was somehow still looking out for
him even when she wasn't actually present.
He checked again to be sure that he'd gotten everything, then quickly returned home,
shivering against the relentless cold.
"Welcome back."
It was already evening when Amane entered his apartment, and Mahiru was there to
greet him.
It was kind of a strange feeling, being welcomed into his own apartment, but recently
he had gotten used to it.
"Mm, I'm back… I bought some thinly sliced mochi; I hope that's okay?"
"You want to cook it in the hot pot, right?"
"Yeah. I also got some ramen to finish off the meal."
"…There's no way I can eat that much, you know."
"Don't worry, I'll make sure it doesn't go to waste."
Amane had never been the type to eat huge meals before, but now, thanks to Mahiru's
cooking, he had started enjoying more sizable dinners. In fact, he found his new
portion sizes a bit concerning and had resolved to start weight training.
Mahiru seemed to be watching her diet as well. She rarely prepared any fattening
foods. On the other hand, she also seemed to think that Amane could stand to put on
a bit of weight, since he was so slim. Amane hoped he would add muscle and not fat.
"Well, if you're going to finish it, then that's fine. Here, give me the bags. I'll put the
things in the fridge. You go wash your hands."
"I know, I know."
Amane handed the full shopping bags to Mahiru and obediently headed for the sink.
"Come to think of it, what are you doing for New Year's, Mahiru?"
After finishing every last bite of the day's delicious meal, as always, Amane suddenly
asked Mahiru the question that had been weighing on his mind.
"New Year's… Well, there's no point in going home, so I'll be here."
He realized his blunder when he heard her indifferent tone, but Mahiru didn't actually
seem all that bothered.
Her relationship with her parents wasn't good, so she always had a cold attitude
whenever the conversation turned to her family.
But if that's the case, won't Mahiru be spending the holiday alone?
Amane had his standing promise to show his face at home once every six months, so
he had been planning to visit during the long break—that was before he had met
Mahiru.
"You're going back home, right, Amane?"
"That's right; I'm pretty much under orders to show up."
He glanced over at her and saw that the expression in her eyes was somewhat chillier
than usual. She seemed to have resolved herself to spending the holiday alone, what
with Amane going away and all.
"…Man, when I get home, I'm gonna get absolutely grilled about you."
"How terrible…"
"I can probably get by with just giving my dad the basics, but my mom is going to want
to hear a whole lot more."
"That's awfully strange, since I talk to her all the time."
"You really got familiar with my mom in no time…"
For some reason, Mahiru had made fast friends with Amane's mother and, without
him noticing, had been sending her photos and private stories… which frankly killed
him a little inside. But Mahiru obviously enjoyed it, so Amane didn't see any harm in
it. He only hoped she wasn't telling his mother anything more than she absolutely
needed to know.
Recalling the distant, lonely expression that crossed Mahiru's face from time to time,
Amane decided that he didn't want to leave her here alone.
"Well, I did just see Mom a little while ago… I would miss seeing Dad, but I wonder if
it would be all right if I didn't go home for the New Year… Besides, I'm supposed to go
back during spring vacation anyway."
Amane was thinking that if he stayed here for the holiday, they could continue having
dinner together like always… that is, if it wasn't too much of an imposition on Mahiru.
"…Oh?"
"Mm. Plus, I want to eat your New Year's noodles."
"What a glutton you are."
"It's all because of your cooking."
"…Even when it's ready-made?"
"That's right."
Even if she only boiled the prepackaged soba noodles, Amane was sure he would still
enjoy them. Because the important thing about their shared meals was the time they
spent together.
"…You're an awfully strange person," Mahiru remarked.
"Oh, hush."
He saw her smile slightly.
"…Thank you."
"What for?"
"For whatever."
Mahiru didn't say anything further, but her expression brightened somewhat, and she
squeezed her favorite cushion.
And then December 31 arrived. New Year's Eve was bringing the year to a close. For
many, it was a busy day, spent cleaning and preparing for the year to come, but—
"Um, hey, Mahiru?"
"What is it?"
"…Are you sure you don't want me to help with anything?"
From his position sitting comfortably on the living room couch, Amane was gazing at
Mahiru's back as she was standing apron-clad in his kitchen. She had been in there
since that morning, making osechi, the traditional fare for the New Year holiday.
Since they had decided to ring in the New Year together, naturally they needed enough
to feed two.
Amane had assumed they would be purchasing it premade, but apparently Mahiru
intended to make it all by hand. That would have been quite a task even for a skilled
homemaker, so it was surprising for even this brilliant high school girl to tackle it all
alone.
Amane was seriously impressed, but Mahiru had said, "Well, there's no way we can get
osechi from a store now. You have to order it well in advance."
Admittedly, she was absolutely right, but even so, Amane admired Mahiru for deciding
to make everything herself.
Of course, she took shortcuts where she could. For instance, boiling their own black
soybeans would be very time-consuming and keep one burner occupied for far too
long, so they had bought some prepared soybeans instead.
"Amane, you seem uncomfortable whenever I say you don't have to do anything, but
do you have any idea how you might go about helping me?"
"Honestly, no clue."
"I thought so. It's easier if you just stay out of the way."
Amane couldn't really argue with Mahiru's harsh assessment, so he tried to sit quietly
on the sofa, but he found it impossible to settle down and do nothing.
It wasn't that Amane hadn't done anything at all—he'd finished cleaning his apartment
the day before, and earlier he'd gone on a big shopping run, picking up ingredients for
the osechi dishes along with enough food so that they wouldn't have to go out for a
while. He had taken care of the more physical tasks, but at the moment, Mahiru was
busy, and he wasn't doing much.
"You must be tired from moving all the furniture and appliances yesterday to clean, so
please, just take it easy," Mahiru said without turning around, though Amane thought
he heard a note of concern in her voice.
It appeared that Mahiru had already finished her own New Year's cleaning. Apparently,
it hadn't taken much work at all since she always kept her place so tidy.
So that's the difference between someone who makes a habit of keeping things clean and
someone who doesn't, Amane mused. Guess I should've realized that earlier…
"Well, even so, I feel bad about it."
"I really like cooking, so it's no trouble."
"Still…"
"It's fine; I'm having fun."
Amane was at a loss for how to react to Mahiru, who brushed him off, fully absorbed
in her work.
"Mahiru, I went ahead and bought lunch."
It would have been unfair to expect Mahiru to prepare lunch when she had her hands
full with the osechi, so Amane had gone to the convenience store. He'd figured there
would be no problem with a simple meal of sandwiches, since Mahiru didn't eat that
much anyway.
Mahiru had already taken off her apron. She must have been planning to take a break,
so the timing seemed just about perfect.
"Thanks for going to the trouble," Mahiru said as she stepped into the living room. Her
break would double as lunchtime. "I'm really sorry for not getting around to making
lunch."
"Come on, I'm definitely the one who should be apologizing, with you making all that
osechi. Here, let's eat. How's a sandwich and cafe au lait sound?"
"That's fine, thank you," Mahiru said as she accepted the food, then took a seat beside
him on the couch.
"So about how much have you gotten done so far?" Amane asked.
"Well, I'm using a lot of premade ingredients, and I'm trying not to limit the number
of dishes, so… I'd say I'm nearly finished. After this, there are a lot of things that need
to rest or chill in the fridge. You seem to like sweet rolled omelets, Amane, so I made
those by hand."
"How did you know?"
"You like all the other egg dishes I make. I didn't think that rolled omelets would be
the exception."
He surmised that she had cooked them specially in the oven. He had heard it humming
earlier and wondered what she was making.
"You like the ones that are slightly sweet, right?"
"You know me too well."
"It's not surprising that I would learn your tastes after several months," Mahiru said
as she bit into her ham and lettuce sandwich. It made him very happy to hear that.
As Amane started eating the rice ball he had bought for himself, he looked over into
the kitchen. His eyes landed on the smallish multitiered food boxes that Mahiru had
brought over with her.
She must be planning to pack the food into those boxes.
He hadn't expected her to go so far as to bring out the special boxes for all the food—
after all, she lived alone, just like him—so he had been a little shocked to see the fancylooking containers all painted with lacquer and decorated with gold leaf.
"Seriously, I can't thank you enough. How do I put this…? This past year, I've gotten to
enjoy food in a way I never could have imagined when I first started living alone."
"And here I thought you were doing just fine on your own."
"Rude. You know better than anyone how I was surviving off convenience store meals."
"It certainly wasn't healthy. That's for sure." Mahiru let out an exasperated sigh, but
she also wore a knowing smile, which caught Amane by surprise. "Well, now that I'm
here," she added, "I won't let you fall back into your old unhealthy habits, all right?"
"Who are you, my mom?"
"It's your own fault for living like that. Next year you're really going to learn how to
eat properly. Do I make myself clear?" Mahiru's eyes shone with sudden enthusiasm.
Amane realized that she had just announced her intention to spend the coming year
with him as well. The thought made him feel terribly self-conscious, and he found
himself looking away.
However, Mahiru must have interpreted that gesture as a reluctance to give up his
slothful ways because she promptly scowled at Amane, who found himself struggling
to awkwardly explain himself.
Mahiru finished making and packing up all the osechi dishes by around sunset and
then set about preparing the New Year's noodles, which just entailed boiling the
noodles and readying the toppings, since they had bought precut raw noodles.
She had some kamaboko fish cake left over from the osechi, so that was a perfect
addition. All there was left to do was parboil the spinach and slice the green onion.
The most labor-intensive part was the shrimp tempura, but Mahiru seemed to be
having no trouble as she fried them all up.
"I also had some kabocha left over, so I'm going to fry that while I'm at it."
"Man… these are gonna be some serious New Year's noodles."
"Sometimes it's fun to make stuff like this," Mahiru said as she finished serving up the
noodles. They looked far more splendid than anything most people would normally
eat at home.
She had made two large pieces of shrimp tempura per bowl, and the bonus kabocha
tempura was crisped to perfection. There was plenty of spinach and green onion, and
the kamaboko fish cake was cut into a decorative fan shape.
Amane noticed that Mahiru liked to keep her tempura crispy, as both of their portions
had been placed on separate plates rather than directly in the bowl with the noodles.
He was grateful for this small, thoughtful act.
"Wow!"
"Please, eat up."
Perhaps concerned that the noodles wouldn't be enough to satisfy Amane's appetite,
Mahiru had also served all the leftover bits from the osechi dishes on a small plate.
Amane watched Mahiru take her seat, then they both pressed their hands together to
give thanks for the food before digging into their noodles.
Even though Mahiru had said that the soba had come premade, she must have picked
out high-quality noodles. Amane could smell the rich fragrance of buckwheat with
every bite. The broth wasn't too thick or too thin, and it was seasoned so well he sighed
with delight. It warmed him from the depths of his belly. The perfect dish for a cold
day.
"Ah… now this is what the end of the year should feel like…"
He took a sip of broth and sighed… mumbling quietly to himself.
He was certainly enjoying the chance to sit back and watch TV while eating his
noodles, awaiting the arrival of the New Year.
It was also his family's custom every year to eat New Year's noodles and spend New
Year's Eve watching the year-end musical specials on television, so Amane was glad
that he could keep the tradition going.
But tonight he was not sitting with his family—instead, there was a beautiful girl
beside him.
"When you eat New Year's noodles, it hits you all at once that the year's really ending,
doesn't it?" Mahiru asked.
"I know what you mean…," Amane replied. "So much happened this year."
Of course, he was mostly talking about his burgeoning relationship with Mahiru.
When he'd first started living alone, he couldn't possibly have imagined such a
beautiful girl fixing him such delicious meals.
"Oh, because this was the year you started living alone, right, Amane? That must have
been difficult."
"You, on the other hand, never seem to have any trouble, do you?"
"Well, that's because I can more or less do everything for myself. It's a disaster for
someone like you, trying to live on your own even though you don't know how to do
anything."
"Uh… that's true, but…"
"You really are the definition of hopeless, aren't you?"
The expression on Mahiru's face was gentle as she scolded him, more charming than
exasperated. She didn't seem burdened by taking care of Amane. She just looked…
content.
"…I owe you for everything you've done this year."
He repeated the words of thanks that he had said to her on Christmas, and Mahiru
smiled slightly.
"And don't you ever forget it."
Her quick and unconditional agreement prickled slightly in his chest, but his saving
grace was that Mahiru clearly didn't mean anything.
"…I hope you'll help me out next year, too."
"I know I'll need to. If I wasn't around, you'd barrel headlong into an unhealthy and
slovenly lifestyle again in no time."
"I can't deny that."
"…If you're aware of it, then you ought to do better…"
"I'll aspire to do so in the coming year."
Even if he did put his mind to it, Amane had a feeling that Mahiru's constant caretaking
would quickly erode any desire to fend for himself. Of course, he couldn't say that out
loud, so he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.
He'd do his best to keep his place tidy, but there was no doubt that he would still be
depending on her for meals. He had become entirely domesticated, and the fact that
he was painfully aware of this development didn't make it any less true. Plus, Mahiru
always laughed at him whenever he said he was going to try to improve himself.
Amane made a sour face, but Mahiru just smiled slightly, as if she was savoring the
moment.
"The New Year's almost upon us."
"Looks like it."
They had finished eating their New Year's noodles and sat on the sofa watching the
annual end-of-the-year musical showcase on television. Before either of them realized
it, the new day—and the New Year—was just moments away.
Time had passed much faster than Amane had expected while he was occupied
watching Mahiru quietly enjoy the show. Apparently, she wasn't very familiar with
current pop music, possibly because she didn't watch much TV in general.
The screen switched over to a scene of a temple bell—a clear sign the year was about
to end. The great bell began ringing. Seated next to him, Mahiru quietly listened to the
chimes, eyes lowered.
As the bell rang the one hundred and seventh time—
The instant that the new day began, Mahiru turned to him, sat up properly, and bowed.
"Happy New Year," she said.
Caught up in the moment, Amane also straightened up and gave her the same formal
New Year's greeting. "Happy New Year… It feels kind of strange, huh? Spending it
together."
"Heh-heh, I suppose it does," Mahiru replied. "I hope you'll look after me this year as
well."
"Of course… Though, it feels like I should really be the one asking you that, eh?"
"I can't argue with that."
Mahiru let out a giggle, and Amane shot her a slightly awkward grin. Then the
smartphone he had on his lap began to vibrate. His messaging app had several
notifications—New Year's greetings had come in from Itsuki and Chitose.
Mahiru's phone also vibrated. She had only just met his friends and hadn't exchanged
contact info with Chitose yet, so she must have been getting messages from a friend
Amane didn't know.
In recent years, the convenience of sending New Year's greetings via phone message
had become really popular.
"I'm just going to reply to this."
"Same."
Amane figured that Mahiru had probably received a lot of messages. Yet somehow he
also had the feeling that she wasn't in the habit of giving boys her contact information.
Amane watched Mahiru's practiced fingers flit deftly across her phone as she typed
out her responses. "It's times like these that you finally seem like a regular high school
girl," he remarked before checking his own phone.
The messages from Itsuki and Chitose were the bog-standard 'Happy New Year'
followed by needless prying. "Did you spend the New Year holiday getting friendly with
Lady Shiina?" As usual, Itsuki was disconcertingly perceptive.
Amane sent a reply denying it.
Immediately, he got a mocking response from Itsuki, accusing him of lying. For a while,
the two friends carried on a lively text conversation. Itsuki would make certain
allegations that Amane would deny every time, and then… he felt a weight flop down
against his upper arm.
A sweet fragrance wafted over him.
The sudden contact startled him. He glanced timidly to the side, not believing it could
be true… only to confirm that Mahiru was indeed leaning against him, fast asleep.
—Wait, wait, wait!
Amane didn't say anything out loud, but he was already beginning to panic on the
inside.
Mahiru had dozed off at his place before, but who could have ever imagined that she
would do so here and now, right beside him, pressed up against his shoulder?
It was obvious what had happened.
They had stayed up quite late, past twelve thirty AM. Mahiru, who observed a strict
routine, probably wasn't used to being awake at this hour. Moreover, she had spent
most of the day bustling about making the osechi dishes and must have been
exhausted, even if she didn't show it on the surface. She simply hadn't had the strength
to fight off the sandman any longer.
Amane completely understood—but to fall asleep now of all times!
Dozing against Amane's shoulder, Mahiru wore a truly peaceful expression, completely
oblivious to his confusion and consternation. Her long eyelashes and cute nose and
pink lips all had a soft vulnerability to them that Amane hadn't noticed before.
It wasn't the first time he'd seen her sleeping face, but he had never observed her from
such close range, and the sight froze him in place.
"Mahiru…," he said hesitantly. "Mahiru, wake up."
There was no response.
Mahiru must have been incredibly tired. It seemed that her fatigue had dragged her
down into the deepest oceans of slumber. He called out to her and nudged her with
his shoulder, but the girl showed no sign of waking.
Even when he tapped her shoulder and gently shook her body, Mahiru didn't stir.
His attempts to rouse her caused her to start pitching forward after slipping off his
arm. In a panic, Amane caught her and pulled her back toward him… which was fine,
but now he found himself embracing her. His alarm only grew.
…Wow, she smells amazing…
After dinner, Mahiru had briefly gone back to her place to freshen up, and the floral
fragrance of her shampoo that mingled with her natural scent was making Amane
tremendously uncomfortable. And he couldn't help but notice how soft she was,
pressed up against him.
Amane was not handling this well.
He had tried to wake her, but she had fallen too deeply asleep, and he was reluctant to
try to rouse her more forcefully.
What should I do?
The New Year had barely started, and Amane was already facing an unbelievable
dilemma.
He looked down at the girl sleeping in his arms with grim determination. She was still
out cold. She must really trust me to drift off like that without a care, Amane realized. It
was enough to make him want to bang his head against the wall in frustration and
embarrassment as his sense of reason began to fail him.
No matter how he tried, his attention kept straying back to the distinct feeling of her
slender body pressed against his. It was firm, but with a feminine softness to it, and
had a particularly intoxicating voluptuousness where their chests met…
—What the heck should I do?
Not only was Amane utterly unprepared for his present situation, the unimaginable
softness brushing against him was quickly wearing away at any remaining composure
he thought he possessed.
This was the first time he had ever realized how soft and supple and nice-smelling
girls could be… and even thinking about how he felt was enough to send his mind
spinning into chaos. It was like one big feedback loop.
Even so, he still felt compelled to do something. He had a feeling that there was not
going to be an easy way out of this one, so Amane tried to clear his mind and steel his
resolve.
At the moment, there were three ways he could think of to approach this.
1. Wake Mahiru forcefully.
2. Carry Mahiru home.
3. Let Mahiru sleep in his own bed—and spend the night on the couch himself.
The first option gave him pause. He didn't like the idea of jostling Mahiru awake when
she was obviously so very tired. What's more, he was the one responsible for wearing
her out, so if it was possible, he wanted to let her rest.
At first glance, option two initially seemed like it would be the least awkward, but he
was really uncomfortable with the idea of searching through Mahiru's pockets for the
key to her apartment and entering a girl's home without permission. He also suspected
that Mahiru would not be too pleased to discover that he'd decided that on his own.
Option three, letting her stay over, was seemed like a safer choice that would be easy
to pull off, but… he was not at all emotionally prepared to have a beautiful girl sleeping
in his bed. It didn't matter how they normally got along. Amane felt like the innocent
charm of her sleeping face was driving him mad.
The thought of such a stunning beauty asleep on his pillow was almost unbearable for
this growing boy. Some of the images that crossed his mind were guilt-inducing.
Still, there was no denying it was the most promising option and the most considerate
compromise that Amane could think of.
He steadied himself for the task, then gently wrapped his hands around Mahiru's back
and under her knees and slowly lifted her.
She was sleeping soundly and was as light as a feather. Of course he would never say
so out loud, but Mahiru felt almost ephemeral in his arms.
He had learned firsthand that she probably wouldn't wake up too easily, but just in
case, Amane tried to keep her as steady as possible while he gingerly carried her to
his room. It took both hands to cradle her, so opening the door proved quite the
challenge, but eventually Amane successfully laid Mahiru on his bed.
Her delicate body sunk into the mattress.
Once Amane had covered her with a blanket and comforter, she was all set up for the
night. He didn't see any indication she was going to wake up, and all he could hear was
her regular, rhythmic breathing. Her face was beautiful as always, but seeing it so
cherubic in sleep was making Amane's heart jump in his chest.
He courteously tucked her in, then crouched down beside the bed.
…It's too much.
Having a girl sleeping in his bed, remembering the soft feeling of her body against his,
seeing her adorable and defenseless sleeping face, then realizing just how much she
must trust him to fall asleep in his apartment—that and a million other things were
running through his mind.
Of course, he was grateful she believed in him, but at the same time, he couldn't help
but think that she only saw him as a safe and hopeless nuisance, a harmless little boy.
Amane glanced over at her and noted the tranquil expression on her sleeping face. She
was utterly oblivious to his inner turmoil.
She has no idea how I feel.
And she's let down her guard too much.
…I could climb into that bed right now if I wanted to…
The thought lasted only a moment before he pushed it out of his mind. Of course it
would be wrong, on so many levels. And he knew that the moment Mahiru woke up
and discovered them sleeping together, she would never talk to him ever again. He
shuddered at the thought of her soft eyes turning cold and scornful.
That is definitely a bad idea.
But maybe, instead of that, if… just a little... would be okay, wouldn't it?
He extended a hand toward Mahiru's head.
Smooth, sleek, glossy—those were the words that came to mind as he slid his fingers
over her long, soft, vibrant hair without hitting a single snag.
She must work hard to keep it like this, huh…?
Feeling both admiration and a shudder of fear at the enormous efforts demanded by
femininity, Amane let his fingertips glide slowly across Mahiru's cheek. Her porcelain
skin was surprisingly cool, at least compared to Amane's fingers. When the brief
caress was over, Amane looked down and saw that a slight smile had graced Mahiru's
tranquil face.
"Good night."
I'm sure she'll be surprised when she wakes up in the morning tomorrow… or actually
today, I guess. Considering what he had just gone through, he figured that she could
live with a little surprise.
I really am hopeless…
Amane flashed a troubled smile, then gently reached out to stroke Mahiru's soft cheek
one more time.