7
All around, the Kurdish Muslims stop singing. Their imam assumes the spotlight, and delivers the weekly message...as if praying five times a day wasn't already too much for any human.
Like a mite, Peter is still hanging from Kamala's hood. He puts his suit back on, spins a chute, and ascends up into the mosque.
Below, Kamala looks around, as if she heard him. But she doesn't see him, so he re-delivers her attention to the imam.
Once high enough up, Spider-Man I releases the web-chute, and uses his wingsuit to glide around in circles in the mosque. He's so small, none of the Muslims notice him.
All around, Spider-Man I's fleet of aerial cameras fly in. They're cloaked; no one notices them. On KAREN's command, they photograph certain parts of the service. Back at Spider-Man I's lab, the photos are printed on a human-size printer.
With relief, Spider-Man I lands back in Kamala's robe. With a certain story-writing software of KAREN's, Peter speaks, each time he has a public thought about what's going on here. Karen takes his thoughts down, word-for-word. At some point, Peter will have KAREN type it up, via a genuine 1870 typewriter.
The imam speaks with passion. He speaks in Kurdish...
Here, a vision of Stan Lee appears within the fourth wall. He's wearing sunglasses.
"Now, some of you who're reading this," he says, "MIGHT not know how to speak 1870 Kurdish. So allow us to translate:"
Stan Lee's apparition vanishes. As a result, the imam starts speaking English.
He preaches about how much their Kurdish kin are being oppressed in the Ottoman Empire. He preaches that the Turkish Empire has been hijacked by a heathen race who doesn't know Allah like the Kurds do. Everywhere, all over the Sultan's dominion, non-Turkic races are being persecuted-not for their religion, but for what breeding stock they hail from. In times like these, all Islamic nations; Kurds, Turks, and the like; must band together, and rise up against this race of unfair dominators who dare adopt children, call them their own, and then whirl around and stab them in the backs with the devious daggers of prejudice...
Tucked safely inside Kamala's robe, Peter yawns. He's thankful he and his ex-aunt have never been victims of Ottoman oppression.
And they would be. May's a Reilly, and Peter's a Parker; neither one of them is Turkish or Turkic.
It's time for the congregation to worship Allah, and sing a song. The conductor trades places with the imam, and the singers at mosque prepare to join each other in a recitation of "Joshua Fought the Battle of Jericho."
Yes, I know; the Muslims don't believe in Jesus, but they DO believe in Joshua. And Caleb. And Moses. And Judah...which sucks.
The men start out singing rapidly. And then, after two repeated lines, the women sing their part just as rapidly.
Joshua fit the battle, the Battle of Jericho
Joshua fit the battle, the Battle of Jericho
Joshua fit the Battle of Jericho
(The battle, Joshua...)
Jericho
(The battle, Joshua...)
Jericho
(The battle, Joshua...the battle, Joshua...)
Joshua fit the Battle of Jericho
And the walls come a'tumblin' down
Joshua fit the battle, the Battle of Jericho
Joshua fit the battle, the Battle of Jericho
As monotonous as these Muslim sermons are, Peter must confess that this song isn't bad. But then, it's not that he hasn't heard it before. Some time during his job on the ever-contracting Frontier, he eavesdropped on a Mormon Sunday service. They sang this song too...
Outside the mosque, sinister visitors assemble. A puddle of water rises from a culvert, and creeps towards the mosque entrance.
Down the street, a patrol cop walks a beat. In a blur of motion, he vanishes. He reappears in Manhattan. He looks around, confused and scared...
A cyborg climbs atop a lamppost. His left arm is a prosthetic, and armed with a heavy and powerful stun weapon. It flickers as he waits. He grins menacingly as he waits...
On the sidewalk, an Aussie page happily dances to the music, coming from inside the mosque. People pass him. They think he's weird. He keeps dancing.
At long last, he gets sick and tired of his act. He pulls a boomerang from his belt, and throws it around the mosque. It circles the entire mosque before coming back to him. He throws it around the mosque, in the same direction, six times...
The blur of motion also circles the mosque six times-in the opposite direction. At that point, the boomerang-thrower switches arms, and throws a different, relatively powered boomerang. It circles the mosque seven times without coming back. The speedster, too, switches directions, and runs around the mosque seven times, opposite the boomerang.
Inside, the Kurds are finishing the hymn. Peter puts on his suit, and prepares to leave...
Joshua! Battle!
He fought the battle! Battle!
He fought the battle! Battle!
The walls come,
A tumblin' down...
Those sopranos are really rocking it...
Joshua! Battle!
He fought the battle! Battle!
He fought the battle! Battle!
And the walls, come, tumblin'...
DOWN!
They really drag out the song's ending. The basses enjoy sliding that last lyric.
At long last, Spider-Man can leave. He prepares to weave a silken chute...
Behind the imam, the mosque wall DOES come a'tumblin down. But sadly for them, it's not Joshua, or Caleb, or Israel who brings it down.
The Muslim women scream. Some of their robes fall off. They run for the exit. Alas, it's soon cut off by a certain speedster and shocking cyborg...
A giant mecha lumbers through the new hole in the mosque wall. It looks like a rhinoceros. It lumbers in on four legs, and stands on two. He turns here, and he turns there. Via his targeting software, he sees a lot of frightened Kurdish-Americans. For them, there may be no cats in America-or dogs-but there's sure an dangerous rhino mecha with a naive pilot...
This looks bad. Spider-Man can't resize himself back to normal...but as long as he's fought bigger villains with less muscle, he must make an effort to protect these Kurds...