Chapter Eleven: The hurt we hide

Sara's Pov

When Sara Bani first saw the witch, she was ignorant to what she was. Ignorant to how deadly she was. But after hearing the witch’s name, something inside her changed. All the threats and warnings she had prepared for Baila had been forgotten the moment Baila first let her into her room

And as they spoke and spent more time together, Sara forgot all the reasons why she should have stayed away from Baila in the first place. All she could think about was that she had a friend. One that wasn’t a mate who had rejected her to serve the lycan king and one who was not the lycan king in question. This new friend of hers was different and Sara was thankful for that.

A few hours ago, she had dismissed every guard on her floor and now, she was at the deadliest lake in Northwood. Swimming. Sneaking out of the castle had never been part of her plan for the day. Sara had promised herself to stay away from Baila so Aaron and Nolan would have one less thing to worry about. She had failed miserably.

And now, Sara Bani was about to do something she did not want to and yet she desperately needed to. She needed to find release, she needed to forget, she needed to do something, anything to make her feel like herself.

The distance between Sara and the witch was slowly closing up.

What Sara was about to do would damn her.

A loud growl shook the woods, sending ripples through the lake. Sara gasped, backing away from the witch as Nolan emerged from the trees. His blue eyes were hard and cold but Sara did not miss the way they glowed brightly. She had never seen them glow that bright before.

Nolan was pissed and Sara knew exactly why.

Aaron stood by Nolan’s side as usual. A loyal guard dog through and through. Sara was disgusted.

Aaron averted his eyes, looking every where else but at them. Nolan on the other hand, did not look away from Baila once.

“Get out of the water,” he muttered.

Sara remained focused on Aaron who still hadn’t looked at her since he got to the lake.

“I need space to dress,” Baila reminded Nolan. She did not make an attempt to move from her position in the lake.

“You had no problem getting naked and swimming in a public lake where anyone could have seen you,” Nolan shook his head.

Sara flinched at his tone. He hadn’t snapped or yelled but she could feel his anger simmering beneath his words. She wanted to come to Baila’s defense but her she couldn’t find the words and her lips refused to move.

Sara peeled her eyes from Aaron to watch Baila who clenched her jaw and swum to the bank of the lake.

Before Baila rose out of the water, Nolan turned his back to her and Aaron followed suit. She watched Baila painfully put on her dress which quickly got wet from the water on Baila’s skin. Baila threw the cloak over herself to cover up her wet clothes.

“I’m done,” she gritted, wrapping her arms around herself.

Nolan grabbed her elbow and drew her closer to him. For a few moments, it was like Aaron and Sara were not present, as if they did not exist. As if it was just Baila and Nolan as Nolan stared down at her and she glared up at him.

“This. Will never happen again,” he breathed. “You are my ward. I am putting everything at risk to house you and you will not disobey me, You will not step out of the castle without company that I have chosen,” He stared pointedly at Sara as he uttered the last part.

Nolan shoved Baila towards Aaron. Sara thought that he was being too harsh.

“Aaron will take you to your quarters,” Nolan said.

Baila followed after Aaron reluctantly, glancing back at Sara briefly. Sara saw the worry in her eyes and yet, she could not find it in her to offer Baila an assuring smile. The moment Baila and Aaron were out of sight, guilt and humiliation settled heavily on Sara’s shoulders.

She knew that Nolan did not like Baila but she thought that even though they snuck out of the castle, he could have been less harsh about the situation.

Nolan sighed, moving towards the edge of the lake. “Is this a new reckless behavior that will soon turn into one of your hobbies?”

Sara scoffed. In all her twenty-one years of life, she could not for the life of her, remember a single instance where she had been called ‘reckless’. ‘Reckless’, the word sounded foreign to her. No matter how far Sara had gone with her mischief when she was younger, she had never ever been reckless.

She let out a breath, floating backwards in the water. She allowed the coolness of the lake to calm her fiery temper. Sara thought that Nolan could do whatever he liked. She was no longer his friend and as a result, she owed him no explanation.

“We only needed some air,” she offered, swimming backwards.

“Air?” Nolan chuckled bitterly, kicking a pebble. “In a lake that has killed a king and a queen and has sworn to kill more?”

Sara swallowed. When Nolan put it that way, he only made her feel more guilty, more stupid. She had put Baila’s life in danger by coming to the lake and even though she knew Nolan was right, she could not stand his patronizing tone.

“It’s daytime,” she replied. “The lake only claims lives at night,”

Exhausted, Sara swum to the bank of the lake and snatched her discarded clothes from the ground. She put them on hurriedly, ignoring the cold that clung to her skin and Nolan’s heated stare.

“You shouldn’t…….” Nolan let out a breath before going on. It was if he was trying hard to contain himself. To avoid saying something hurtful. “You should not be friends with her. You should not even spare her second glances,”

“She’s my friend. Like it or not”

“You’ve lost your mind. Have you lost all common sense as well?” he snapped. “Putting yourself at risk is not what a friend would let you do. If you’re doing all this to garner attention then put on end to it because you most certainly have all my attention now,”

Sara pursed her lips, resisting the urge to snap right back at him.

“If there is a problem, tell me!” Nolan yelled. Sara could tell that he was loosing his patience but she had already lost the very last of hers.

“I am not doing this for your attention!” she yelled right back, clenching her fists at her sides. Her nostrils flared as she finally met his eyes. “We are no longer friends. You are my king and I am merely your servant. That is that,”

Nolan stepped away from Sara as if she had physically hurt him. His mouth popped open for a second before he regained his composure. Sara contemplated taking back what she said. She wanted to apologize. She desperately wanted to tell him that she didn’t mean it and that she wished they could go back to the way they were before the king and Queen Ariadne died but try as she would, she just could not do it.

“A king and his servant. Is that what we have become, Sara?” Nolan questioned, his face a mixture of hurt and confusion. It only made the guilt heavier on Sara’s shoulders. “Were we not friends when we were___”

“You ruined that,” Sara cut in. “After the queen died, you treated me like I did not exist, with a fierce disregard that made me wonder if we had ever been friends. It made me wonder if perhaps, I unknowingly had a hand in your parents’ death,”

“Sa__”

” I tried,” Sara sobbed. “But you made sure the distance between us grew wider and wider. I did my best but it still was not enough. I was not enough,”

Nolan’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at her. Sara wanted to stop then. She wanted to admit that she was still holding out hope that someday, they would be friends again. Siblings even. But she had come too far.

“And so from now, we will remain as I have just said,” she sniffed, wiping her tears and facing Nolan with her head held high. “A servant and her king,”

Nolan’s face fell briefly, allowing Sara to see the little boy she once loved and adored. The little boy she once called friend……brother. And then the look was gone. It was quickly replaced by cold eyes and a horrible scowl.

“Then from a king to his servant,” Nolan spat mockingly. “You are to stay away from Baila. Act as if she does not exist. Like I did with you. That is an order,”

********************************

Hours after her confrontation with Nolan, Sara sat in Roger’s tavern with a beer in her hand. She was not there to waste away and drink herself to stupor. Far from it. She was at Roger’s tavern to observe, listen and make an ally or two.

A scrawny man walked up to her table, balancing an empty wooden tray on his waist.

“I’ve never seen you around here before,” he observed, packing the dirty plates into the tray.

“I’ve never been,” she replied, tossing a pouch of golden coins on the table. “Sit,”

The man eyes the pouch for a few second, looked around and then took a seat in front of Sara, placing his loaded tray on the table. “What do you wish to know?”

“I here you’re the gossip monger in here,” she stated, sipping her beer while keeping her blue eyes on him.

“And every gossip I tell is nothing but the truth,” he shrugged.

“Salem Kalamai,”

The man’s big brown eyes lit up as a mischievous smile took over his face. “You’re into the dark ones,”

Sara chuckled humorlessly. She wasn’t in the tavern to pass time, no.

Sara Bani had gone to Roger’s tavern to find out the truth about Salem and who was behind the attack on the castle a few nights ago. And if she found out that Baila had anything to do with the attack, she would cut her open herself because as much as Nolan was a pain in the ass, he was still her blood brother.

“Tell me everything,” she said, returning the man’s smile.