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I remember the first day I shifted, I remember how brightly the moon had shone that night, casting it's enchanting rays upon me as my bones twisted, snapped and reformed.
I remember the excruciating pain, pain that wracked through my little body, that back arching pain that took away my breath, pain that made me feel as though I would die.
I remember hearing my father's tender voice, making every attempt to comfort me and ease my pain, he knew as well as I did that I was too young to endure such pain,
Each of us were as helpless as the other, the creator had deemed it fit to grant me my wolf at the age of six, and as the Creator's true blood, our fates were subject to the Creator's will.
I remember how my father's voice had sounded so far away as I screamed out in agony, drowning in the pain of my body's change,
I remember that prickling and piercing feeling as fur sprouted out, tearing it's way through my skin,
I remember how I cried and screamed yet I dared not pray for it to come to an end for I knew this was the greatest pride of a shifter and each and every second of pain was worth the gift of my true form.
Seconds stretched into minutes and minutes stretched into hours till the moon had risen to it's highest and then the pain came to an end.
I remember my father's gasp of amazement and awe as I whined, shaking my little wolf head and struggling and failing to stand on my wobbling limbs.
I remember my father's delight, I remember his words of awe, how he had marvelled at his beautiful pup whilst trying to blink back the tears in his eyes,
I remember how my father had shifted into his wolf form, his massive muscular bulk towering over me as he snuggled me close to his side, lathering me with his scent.
I remember how my father had nudged me to take my first steps, pushing me forwards till I had adjusted to my new limbs and the next moment, I was dashing through the forest at blinding speed.
I remember hearing her warm voice in my head for the very first time, she sounded much like me but still different, the voice of my wolf filled my mind, sending my heart racing with love, awe and adoration.
I remember the feeling of the wind in my fur, that feeling as the world flashed by all around me as I ran as fast as my little limbs would allow,
That feeling of freedom, that feeling of exhilaration, that feeling of calm and peace and every blissful feeling in between,
That feeling was indescribable and even for years to come, I would never have the right words to tell just how much it meant to me.
Just how blessed I felt in that moment and every moment of my life after, that the creator had given me Torin and that she was as much I as I was her, two halves of a single entity, in life and in death...wolf and man bound together as one.
So why was I alive and she was dying? Why was I granted a second chance to live a life without her?
Why did I grow stronger by the day while her life force slowly seeped away? Just who was Alpha Zariah without my beloved wolf Torin?
The Creator had granted me a gift so precious, he had given me Torin the strong, Torin the most understanding, Torin the wisest, Torin the fastest, Torin that was my better half...
Torin, the very definition of my existence as a shifter...My wolf Torin.
With her, I knew I had everything...
And now...I had lost it all...
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Zariah raced through the woods at blinding speed, leaping over fallen logs and ducking low hanging branches, she twisted between tightly packed trees and vaulted around corners.
Zariah's heart raced, she was not even sure how long she had been running for...it could have been a day, maybe more... Zariah could not tell, all she knew was that she had to keep running... she had to keep running till that suffocating feeling tightening her chest eased away.
As Zariah ran, tears streamed down her face uncontrollably, the pain in her heart stirring her to run even faster.
"Zari...you have to calm down, please." Zariah heard her wolf's voice in her mind and it only made Zariah run even faster.
Torin's voice was barely audible in Zariah's mind and the strength of their bond had waned terribly.
Zariah's heart constricted painfully, with each word Torin said, it only made reality all the more apparent...Torin was dying and there was nothing Zariah could do to save her.
'Why?! Why must I lose everything?! Just what did I ever do wrong?! Why is this happening to me?!' Zariah thought as she ran even faster, stray branches whipped past her face, cutting into her skin but Zariah did not care.
Zariah ran and ran till she could run no more, till all the strength had left her limbs and she collapsed to the ground in exhaustion.
Zariah lay there, in the middle of the forest, gazing up at the moon as tears streamed down her face.
"It is the darkness isn't it?" Zariah whispered quietly knowing her wolf would hear.
Torin hummed quietly in response and Zariah eyes fluttered closed painfully.
"How much longer...?" Zariah asked in a tone barely above a whisper, her voice hoarse.
"I'm... I'm not sure... not much longer..." Torin replied weakly.
"Why was I saved and not you? Why can I live and you can't? I...I cannot live without you Torin...I can't!" Zariah sobbed out,
"But you must Zari...it breaks my heart to leave to you this great burden, but you must live and protect Crimson Moon,"
"You must live and atone for our mistakes. You must live and make them pay for all we have suffered..." Torin's weak voice filled Zariah's mind and Zariah bit her trembling lips to hold back her sobs.
"I will protect Crimson Moon...I will find all who had a hand in the conspiracy of the past lifetime and I will kill them all. I will fulfill my mission and then I will come to you."
"We will always be together...in life and in death, for you are me and I am you..." Zariah whispered as she felt the last tendrils of Torin's life force fade away, Torin's final words echoing in her mind.
"You are me and I am you..."
She was gone and with her...a part of me.
Now I live in a reality worse than death... now I count the days till I can join her in death,
She was Torin and I am Zariah yet she was as much I as I was her...
~Zariah Torin Moonstone.
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