Chapter09

Lincoln's Pov

When I returned, we ate dinner together in silence; then she cleaned up the plates as I watched TV.

She was Walking into the lounge, I looked up at her with a small smile.

"Come, sit" I said, holding my arms up for her to sit on my lap.

She offered me a small smile, before sitting on his lap.

She cuddled into my lap, automatically, and leant her head against my shoulder. "Lincoln, I don't understand" she said.

I paused, "you don't understand what?"

She chuckled slightly at the statement.

"There are a lot of things I don't understand, Lincoln. You being the biggest. But, I'm talking about yesterday. I felt desire, but you didn't want me — and since I first met you, all you wanted me to do was feel desire.

So, why did you run from me the moment it happened?"

I frowned, looking down at her for a few minutes, before the corner of my lips turned up slightly.

"What you felt yesterday was sexual desire — you wanted to mate with me.

And, yes, I want you to feel sexual desire but not until after you feel normal desire.

I want both from you".

"What's the difference?" She asked; confused.

"Sexual desire, is the want of sex — the want to mate me.

Plain desire, is just the want for something. The want for me". I looked at her for another second,

before I turned away; to face the TV again.

Julian's Pov ?

I thought over his words for a minute, before everything seemed to make sense to me.

"You're scared" I blurted out. Lincoln's eyes snapped down to mine, and they glared at me before he growled.

The sound was low and scratchy — full of dominance.

I wanted to submit to him, my entire body wanted to crumble at his feet. But, I kept his gaze.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Lincoln" I began.

"Then don't suggest I am scared — I am not weak like that".

He snapped angrily, through gritted teeth.

"Being scared doesn't make you weak, Lincoln.

It makes you normal" I told him, with a small smile.

"But what I meant was, you're scared that I only feel sexual desire towards you and not normal desire.

You're worried that I don't want you—"

"You're being absurd, you're—"

"That's why you didn't come home last night, wasn't it?

Because you didn't want to face me, you were scared that I didn't want you; except for sexual reasons".

Everything was suddenly so clear to me — I understood all his actions from the night previous.

Lincoln didn't reply, he just scoffed.

I giggled at his dismissal; he was acting childish.

He frowned deeply at me, "don't laugh at me".

His words just made me laugh more, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from chuckling more.

"Seriously don't laugh at me" Lincoln growled.

I was still sitting on his lap, so I buried my face in his neck to hide my laughter.

"I'm sorry" I said, through a giggle, "don't be mad". I giggled again.

"I'm not mad" Lincoln sighed, "it's nice that you're not scared of me anymore".

His arms tightened around me, and I pulled my head out from his neck.

"You didn't submit to me; that was nice". He shrugged it off, trying to sound casual.

"People submitted to me today" I replied, looking deep into Lincoln's eyes. Once more, the brown bewitched me with their beauty.

Lincoln nodded slightly.

"I would hope so, you are their Alpha Female.

If they hadn't submitted I would have been angry".

"It made me feel lonely. Like I was something different — an outsider.

You must have felt like that your entire life.

It must have been horrible as a kid. You'd have never known whether people liked you for you, or because you were the future Alpha".

There was a heavy pause, as Lincoln and I just looked at each other.

His bright eyes were staring at me, his eyes studying me closely.

He wanted to say something, I could see that much, but he was holding himself back.

He wanted to open up to me, but he just wasn't ready. Yet.

I smiled sadly, before cupping his cheek with one of my hands. "Alpha Lincoln, your life must be so lonely".

A few hours later, when we went to bed, Lincoln embraced me close as we lay together.

My back was to him, as his large body curled around my small one.

"Julian" he whispered into my ear, when I was seconds from falling asleep, "please take the loneliness away". Then, I fell asleep.

Another week passed quickly, and soon Lincoln and I fell into a normal routine.

He would work during the days, and I would either stay at home or take a walk around the territory, before we would spend the evenings together.

It was all very mundane. It surprised me how normal a life with the Bad Alpha was.

I was getting a lot more comfortable with Lincoln, getting used to his; sudden mood changes, dominate behaviour and old fashioned attitude.

It took me only a few days with Lincoln to realise he believed that men went out to work, while woman stayed at home.

I was alright with that, because the majority of Werewolves also believed that.

It was how it was with our ancestors — men hunting, while woman had pups — and the traditions hadn't really changed.

Of course some of the woman in the modern days, went out to work; but it was only for the pack and the Alpha had to agree to it.

In the Endoro pack, none of the woman worked. However, Lincoln made sure that all the woman met up regularly so they weren't isolate.

He, also, made sure that every male in the pack worked — unless they were elderly.

So, after about two weeks of me being with the Endoro pack, Lincoln told me I had to go to one of the lunches with the other pack woman.

The lunch was being held in one of the restaurants in the pack village, and every woman had to go.

Lincoln came home an hour before the lunch, telling me he would take me.

I was slightly relieved — I was nervous. It was always hard for me to make friends, especially with other woman.

And because I was their Alpha Female, I felt it would be even worse.

"Is this alright?" I asked Lincoln, walking into the kitchen where he was eating the sandwich I'd made him.

Lincoln studied my outfit. I had chosen a knee length scarlet red dress, which was in a forties style.

I paired it with a pair of red kitten heels, a matching lipstick and a small bag. My hair curled over my shoulder.

Lincoln didn't reply, just stared at me. "It's too much isn't it?" I worried, thinking everyone would laugh at me. "I'll go change".

"No" he growled up. Jumping up, he grabbed my arm before I could leave the kitchen.

"You look beautiful, don't change". Layton offered me a small smile,

looking almost embarrassed, before turning away and going back to his lunch.

I blushed at his words, before taking a seat at the kitchen counter — a silence between Lincoln and I as he ate.

Neither Lincoln, nor I, were loud people; so it was often quiet between us.

However, it wasn't ever awkward between us, we were used to our quiet life.

When it was time for the lunch, Lincoln walked me to the pack village. As we began the walk, Lincoln hand took mine.

I glanced down at our conjoined hands, shocked, before I looked up at Lincoln.

He was staring straight ahead, completely ignoring the fact — pretending it was norm for us. So I played along, and didn't acknowledge us holding hands and just allowed it to happen.

"Before I forget" Lincoln said, as we walked, "don't let people call you by your first name.

They should call you Alpha Female and nothing else. I know you don't like it, but it has to be done".

"Okay" I nodded, giving him a sad smile. I was hoping to make friends, and I knew I wouldn't do that if they had to use my title to address me.

"Don't be nervous" he whispered to me, when we neared the restaurant. "You're their Alpha Female".

It was a nice of Lincoln to say, to reduce my nerves — and I knew it wasn't something he did often.

He was trying to reassure me, in his own way; it was nice to know he cared.

There were a few males, also dropping off their mates, at the restaurant.

However, due to the large amount of She-Wolves, there were a few unmated males hanging around outside.

He didn't like that — especially when a few stared a bit too long at me than was respectful.

Outside the restaurant, a middle aged woman noticed us and smiled brightly.

She had short blonde hair, which was swept to one side, and she wore a black lace dress. "Alpha Lincoln, Alpha Female Lincoln" she bowed her head.

"Hello, Arlene" Lincoln said to the woman. She looked friendly, and gave me a massive smile — I couldn't help but smile back.

"I hope I can depend on you to look after my mate today". Lincoln's voice told her that if he couldn't 'depend' on her, she was going to be in trouble.

"Of course I will, Alpha" Arlene grinned back. She was a nice lady, who seemed genuinely caring.

It had been a long time since I had seen someone so happy — I couldn't help but like her.

Lincoln turned to me, and nodded slightly. "I'll meet you at home tonight" he said. I smiled, and nodded back.

Lincoln paused, as if he wanted to say something else, before his eyes glanced around the area. Every eye was on us.

Lincoln forcefully grabbed my neck, and I was shocked. Quickly, he bent down and kissed me.

His lips sealed over mine, in a rushed way.

The kiss didn't even last a second, and I didn't realise it had happened until it was over.

I always thought my first kiss would have been like the movies — magical and loving, something that called butterflies to my stomach.

Yet, I couldn't recall a single thing about my first kiss. It happened so quick, that I had to question if it had actually happened.

But with the way that Lincoln eyes bored into mine, and watched me closely, I knew it had happened.

Lincoln gave me another nod, before turning and walking away.

People submitted to him as he walked away. It was only as I watched him leave, that I realised how many people were around.

And the unmated males were no longer looking my way.

I, then, understood the meaning of the kiss — a deterrent. A way to warn males away from me. His possessiveness was almost amusing, especially since no one would dare try and steal the Bad Alpha's mate,

not to mention I was having a lunch with a large group of woman.

Arlene led me into the hotel, and all the tables had been pushed together to make a large square around the interior.

She led me to a seat, near the middle, and she sat next to me.

We spoke a little bit, as the room filled up with other woman.

The average Wolf Pack had about forty Wolves, but the Endoro Pack had sixty Wolves. We were a large pack, with roughly about thirty She-Wolves.

So the narrow restaurant filled up quickly, and it very squished. But it was nice, it was communal.

"So, sweetie, how are you adjusting to life here at Endoro?" Arlene asked me, as her friends sat around us.

They were all a lot older than me, but they all seemed nice. Lincoln had told me not to let the She-Wolves call me by my first name, but sweetie wasn't my first name — so, technically, I wasn't disobeying him.

"It's very different, to my old pack" I replied, "but it was more getting used to living with Alpha Lincoln — that was the biggest thing I had to get used to".

Arlene nodded, "yep, I remember when I was first chosen by Steve.

It was so odd" she laughed. The other woman all agreed, and began to talk of their own mates.

I zoned out slightly, and glanced around the room. The woman all knew each other, and were chatting between themselves in little groups.

I felt slightly lonely, even though Arlene and her friends were trying hard to include me.

The woman all seemed nice, and they made an effort to talk to me during the lunch we ate.

But I was uncomfortable. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I felt everything was judging me — silently of course — and still saw me as an outsider.

I wanted, more than anything, to be at home, in Lincoln's arms.

The realisation surprised me greatly; I had become very dependent on him.

After we finished eating, someone clanged a glass and everyone fell silent.

I looked over to the other side of the room, and saw a familiar red haired woman standing up.

Andrea — Lincoln ex-girlfriend. She looked as beautiful as ever, with a tight shirt and a pink blouse.

She stood up, with her glass in her hand. She smiled at the women in the room, who all looked over to her.

"So, as we all know the women of the pack are obviously the most important people" she joked, a few woman cheered as everyone else laughed. Andrea continued her speech.

"However, we have to work together to support our pack, our mates, our Alpha".

Her eyes glanced briefly at me, when she mentioned Lincoln, before continuing.

"As you all know by now, Alpha Lincoln recently chose a mate. Today is the first time she has joined us".

Eyes all turned to me, and I hid my shaking hands under the table.

I hated how everyone's eyes on me — and a small blush filled my cheeks.

I didn't want to be the centre of attention. Andrea gave me a condescending smile, her eyes looking cruel.

I knew that the speech wouldn't go well.

"Now our new Alpha Female — Julia" Andrea carried on.

"Julian" I correctly in a quiet voice.

"Sorry, Julian". She rolled her eyes, purposely being disrespectful by not using my title.

Some women in the room cringed slightly, but didn't stop her. "The females here in Endoro pack, look after one another and have each other's backs.

You are, obviously, the newest member to the pack so we have a problem there".

I wanted to ask how there was a problem, but stayed silent and listened.

"We respect our mates here, and our Alpha. However, from what I've heard you don't respect your mate or your Alpha".

Her words made me panic, I didn't know what she was going to say.

"Andrea" Arlene warned, not looking happy. Andrea ignored her.

"Not only did you force yourself into Alpha Lincoln's life, by lying about pregnancy to make his choose you.

You forced him to leave his girlfriend, and supply you with money.

I will never call you my Alpha Female because you don't deserve to be with our Alpha".

"You're lying" I exclaimed, tears falling from my eyes.

I was sad she was saying such hateful things, I was angry that she was trying to hurt me — but, more than anything, I was worried the other women would believe her.

"I didn't do any of that. Lincoln chose me because he wanted me" I sniffed.

"Oh please" Andrea snorted, looking at me as if I were a child. "You're a pathetic child who was an easy lay for Lincoln.

He only took you as a mate, because you pretended to be pregnant".

"I didn't" I cried, shaking my head. I glanced around the room, and saw a few of the women looking at me with disgust.

Thinking they believed her, I was mortified. So, I grabbed my bag and ran out of the restaurant as I cried.