An Ordinary Guy Made Extraordinary

Darren Richards was just an ordinary guy at first, but through a simple wish, he became extraordinary. Not through some magic or pill, but through sheer determination to die. Call him crazy but he looked forward to the afterlife far more than his regular normal life. So he did what any rational person who wants to die but is not willing to commit suicide would do. He joined the army. 

MOS 11B, Just your standard everyday infantryman, but I took on all of the additional responsibilities that brought as much danger as possible. Paratrooper, Land Mine sweeper, EOD disposal, Combat Medic, and many more. From ages 18 to 38 I did this. Ten long years I spent tempting fate in Baghdad, Fallujah, and places you don't have the clearance to know about, but my reward for these actions was only to be promoted for exemplary service, and be given medal after medal. I did not achieve the death I desired.

The other ten years I spent doing nothing. Just sitting on my hands waiting for a call to service. These were the worst years. All I had time to do was fantasize about big busty anime broads, and read Webnovels detailing all of the powerful and fantastic things I would be doing in the afterlife. Ohh did I forget to mention.... I'm a fantasarian. I thoroughly and firmly believe that the afterlife will be whatever I want it to be, and since I crave jiggly anime titties and swords and magic then that is what I will get. Fantasarians believe in an afterlife of reincarnation tropes and systems.

Who wouldn't want that life? I mean seriously to be the protagonist of your own universe. To be the baddest motherfucker on the planet. To command the attention of millions and be revered by all. So I spent twenty years as a soldier trying to speed up the process, but as luck would have it I was just too damn good at it. So when I retired I took it upon myself to try everything else imaginable to achieve my dream. I took down criminal organizations, dated beautiful assassins who would have cut my throat for a dollar, and so much more. I took on a vigilante persona. I was Batman on a soldier's salary.

Many years of this brought me great fortune believe it or not. I made a killing as a bounty hunter for the CIA. I also found love in all of this despite her shortcoming of having a 3D body I found myself attracted to her regardless in her own limited way. We had children and they had children and before I knew it I was the fun-loving grandpa who actually enjoyed something other than fantasy. It was tragic really. In my attempt to die, I found a purpose in life that brought me some level of joy despite my desire for my own afterlife. 

So after many more years of this, I find myself right here. In my bed awaiting eternity. My family is crying. They weep because they don't know the afterlife I have planned. After 88 long years, I can finally see the end. I maintained my fantasarianism till the very end. The community had mostly died off by now but I pray that all of my comrades found afterlives they could be proud of. Many others in their times of despair found themselves drifting to other religions. I can't say I blame them. It's scary, but I know that in the universe there is only one constant truth. That the only impossible thing is the possibility that anything is impossible. So of course my 2D heaven exists. I just need the strength and determination to get there.

My wife is trying to talk to me. My son and daughter are hovering over me. They are all trying to talk to me, but I can barely hear them. My life is flashing before my eyes. I can see all of the things I've done. Everything I've ever experienced flashes by at super speed. All of it culminating in a crescendo of sound and color that drowns out the cries of my family. Like waves of an eternal ocean, my eardrums beat with the sounds of war. A cacophony of gunfire, I can smell the twisted brass, and the rush of spent gunpowder. 

My body remembers it all, and as I die cradled by my wife like life's greatest fireworks my brain explodes, and as my heart gives out. I fall asleep and pass quietly into that cold night.

"And I'm AWAKE!" I shout out at the top of my lungs as I open my eyes again for the very first time, but it isn't words that come out. Instead it is the worble of a baby and the goos of the gaas that make up baby language. I can barely see. See that's something they don't tell you but newborns have really bad vision at first. 

"Wait I'm a newborn? And I've already been born? Did I miss the iconic scene where I'm exiting a dark tunnel, and suddenly I'm in the arms of my mother?" I thought to myself.

"Where is my loving mother? Where is my doting father? Where is my system?" 

<Welcome Host>

"A sign from the gods!" I cry out in my baby language as a translucent screen materializes in front of my blurry eyes.

<Host is still too young to benefit from the system at this time>

<System 18 122639 will now begin initialization please check back in hours and minutes>

 <Enjoy your youth Host>

"No system don't leave me!" I cried out, but the system refused to speak further. 

"Well that's one mystery solved what about my mother and father? Why do I feel like I'm all alone here?" I think to myself.

With my limited vision, I can barely make out the bars of my crib but I don't hear or see anything else. I decide to do the best thing I can as a baby and I just start wailing. Crying as loud as I can as tears and snot stream down my face. 

"By the Gods! He's alive!" I hear someone shout out loud. Never mind the fact that I can understand them I will simply chalk that up to the system and its miraculous power, but evidently, they thought I was dead all along. After her shout, I hear thunderous footsteps echoing down what I assume is a hallway near me.

"Where is he! Where is my boy?" A thunderous voice cries out. 

"Here my lord!" The same woman from before says as I feel myself scooped up and placed in the hairy arms of a strong man. Since I had been picked up I stopped crying almost immediately having accomplished my task. Seeing as this was making him even more uncomfortable I decided to make another noise and farted on his hairy arm.

"HAHA! That's my boy!" The grisly man exclaimed. "Let me get you to your mother. We were so very worried about you!"

I felt a rush of wind as he ran through the hallway he had come from and the little hairs on my head flew backwards as though we were moving at a very fast pace. 

"Honey I've brought him. I've brought our boy."

"Bring him to me." A soft, tired, and melodic voice called out. 

I felt myself being gently transferred from one person to another and a bright light shined into my eyes. She brought me so close to her face I could finally make it out. The first face I had seen since my rebirth. 

"No it can't be!" I shouted in my head. "There's no freaking way. I was right!!!"

Staring at me was the most lovely woman I had ever seen in my life. Dark lines accentuated her face. Long blonde hair fell upon her shoulders, and emerald green eyes larger than I had ever seen before were looking down at me in all of their glory. 

"This is it! This is what a woman should look like."

Because I was right. I held the faith and the universe saw fit to bestow upon me my own glorious afterlife. A doting father, a loving mother, a system, and above all else minus one dimension. I had fallen into a 2D animated universe and nothing would hold me back!