church of sidekicks~

The "church" court stood eerily silent, its dim lighting casting long shadows on the marble floors. But, in the center, two figures squared off, one tall and ominous in an owl-themed getup, the other radiating barely contained chaos as he adjusted his mask and tilted his head with a grin.

"Alright, 'Owlman,'" Wade declared, flourishing his swords with all the flair of a trained stage actor, "you may have bested Gotham's finest and brought terror to the hearts of… uh, people...i don't feel like lex would agree ...."

The figure in the Owlman costume — none other than Cheshire — tilted her head with a deadpan expression, visible even through the mask. "You're really going through with this?"

"Act natural," Wade whispered through a grin, loud enough for it to still echo through the empty space. He whipped a sword toward her. "Tonight, I defeat the great and mysterious… 'Owl Person!' For my vengeance! For my honor! For… well, mainly for money, but you get it."

'Owlman' rolled her eyes under the mask. "This is what I get for working with a maniac," she muttered, readying herself as Wade charged, swinging wildly. It was more like a dance than a fight, her dodging and barely blocking his strikes, each move almost too precise, too rehearsed.

They danced around each other in a perfect imitation of a showdown — more choreography than combat. As Wade feigned a stumble back, she took the moment to threw smoke.

Then she slipped out of the window, a small memory chip 'slipped' from her grasp and landed at Wade's feet. Her gaze flicked to it for a split second, and she smirked.

"Consider us even," she sneered, voice dripping with venom. "But next time? You'll pay."

With that, she was gone, disappearing into the night before Wade could respond. He stared down at the chip in surprise, bending to pick it up, just as the sound of boots pounding against the floor echoed behind him.

"Wade?" Robin's voice rang out, sharp and suspicious.

Wade froze, chip in hand, and turned to see the Young Justice team staring at him, weapons drawn and expressions wary.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up!" Wade said, holding his hands up in a mock surrender. "If you guys are here to crash the wedding, you're way too late.

"We didn't expect you either, Wade," Robin says coolly, narrowing his eyes. "But we got a call from Batman. He said to meet here. And look who we find."

Wade laughs, a bit nervously, stuffing the chip into one of his belt pouches. "Oh, come on! Batman called you here? Really? You don't think this whole setup reeks of something else?" He gestures around at the dusty, abandoned room and the convenient timing. "I don't know if you've noticed, but ol' Batty's sense of humor is a bit drier than that!"

The team exchanges glances, skepticism flickering in their expressions. But Robin stays resolute, drawing his baton and nodding toward Wade. "We're taking you in."

"Okay, okay," Wade sighs dramatically, pulling his katanas from their sheaths with a flourish. "But just so we're clear—I'm really not in the mood to go to any kind of prison today. And here I thought we were friends!"

Kid Flash grins, readying himself to launch into action. "Yeah, well, last we heard, you'd been eaten by a sea dragon. So excuse us if we're not totally sold on the whole 'friendship' thing."

"Aw, come on, KF! You don't trust a guy who's survived multiple deaths, a couple of exploding sea creatures, and… whatever happened to me at Cadmus?" Wade smirks, pointing a katana at him. "You know, I thought you guys would've been happy to see my pretty face again!"

"Enough!" Aqualad orders, and the team fans out, ready to engage.

Wade twirls his katanas, letting out a low whistle. "welcome to invincible~"

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("Wadeeee, they're coming! Like, superhero coming! This is going to be fun!")

(They view you as a threat. Engage only if necessary, and watch your step. This isn't a game.)

"Oh, Wisey, always so serious," Wade whispered, cracking his neck. "I think they're just jealous of my style."

Kid Flash was the first to move, zipping down the side of the building and stopping a few feet from Wade with an exaggerated flourish. He gave Wade a once-over and scoffed. "Wow, Deadpool, did you seriously think you could do whatever you want without us stepping in?"

"Oh, I don't know," Wade replied, pretending to think about it. "I just figured you'd be too busy saving cats from trees to notice."

Kid Flash glared, but Wade wasn't done. "But hey, it's not like I'm the one who needs the team backup here, right?"

("Tell him he runs like he has tiny, baby legs!")

"Listen, sidekick, I don't know what your plan is," Wade continued, leaning on one leg and crossing his arms. "But, uh, last time I checked, you were the one running around with tiny baby legs~."

Kid Flash looked genuinely confused. "I… I don't have baby legs!"

"Ooooh, sure~, sure, say that again while you're zipping around like a malfunctioning roller coaster," Wade smirked.

The rest of the team didn't take too kindly to that. Artemis drew her bow, aiming it right between his eyes, while Superboy clenched his fists, muscles bulging as he looked ready to knock Wade into next week. Wade grinned, enjoying the attention.

(You're provoking them. Not wise.)

"Yeah, but I'm here for a good time, not a long one."

Just as he finished saying that, Miss Martian attempted to get the jump on him, sneaking in from behind with her invisibility powers. Wade had a feeling she was there, though—his sixth sense, or maybe just the weird way his brain worked. He ducked at the last second, rolling out of the way as her fists narrowly missed his head.

"Oh! Nice try!" Wade exclaimed, laughing as he sprung to his feet. "But you're going to have to do way better if you want to catch the guy in red!"

Cute Voice: "Playtime! Show them the sword tricks!"

"Oh, you mean these?" Wade said, pulling his katanas from his back with a dramatic flourish. He pointed one at the team, a grin on his face. "Alright, kids. You all wanna play? Let's play."

The team spread out, trying to surround him. He knew they'd probably come at him all at once, so he decided to keep moving, flipping and dodging as arrows whizzed past and Superboy's fists smashed into the ground behind him.

Kid Flash darted in and out, trying to trip him up, but Wade managed to keep his balance, throwing out jabs and feints whenever the speedster came close. He knew he wouldn't be able to match Kid Flash's speed—but he could work smarter.

(Observe their movements. They're relying on teamwork)

"Yeah, yeah. Teamwork schmeme-work," Wade muttered, ducking as Aqualad lunged at him with his water-bearers, creating blades that sliced the air. "How 'bout we switch it up?"

As Aqualad's blade came down, Wade twisted at the last second, using his healing to absorb the glancing blow, which should have been painful. But instead, he gave a mock gasp, staggering back. "Oh no! I've been hit! What ever shall I do?"

(Maybe fall over dramatically! Oooooh, can we faint?)

Wade chuckled. "Not yet, Cute Voice. We've got a show to put on."

He bounced back, letting the Life Tattoo glow just slightly—not enough to heal anyone else, but enough to freak them out with the weird green light. He swung around to face Superboy, who was already charging in for a punch. Wade timed it perfectly, dodging to the side and letting Superboy crash into Aqualad. The two heroes stumbled, giving Wade just enough time to roll out of their way and dodge an incoming arrow from Artemis.

"You guys are really making this too easy!" Wade said, then gave a quick mock bow. "I'd say better luck next time, but…"

Wise Voice: "Now's your chance. Use his speed against him."

Wade looked at Kid Flash and grinned. "Ohhh, I get it. Okay, let's do this."

He stopped moving, holding his side and breathing heavily, letting them think he was finally wearing out. Kid Flash zipped in close, confident, not realizing the trap was already set.

As the speedster got close enough, Wade lunged forward with his gun, pulling the trigger and landing a shot right into Kid Flash's leg, just as he zipped by. Kid Flash yelped, skidding to the ground and clutching his leg in shock.

"See?" Wade called out to the team, smirking as they all stared at him, stunned. "This is why common sense is boring in comics, kiddos. Because sometimes, you just gotta cheat the guy with super speed."

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