9. Chapter 9

About an hour after Meredith left, Teddy got paged because one of her chronic patients had been readmitted and wanted to see her. Carina was left alone with her thoughts for all of five minutes before there was a knock on the door, and Andy stepped in carrying a few things.

“Hey,” the firefighter said, going over to Carina, “Here are some of Maya’s sweatshirts from the station. I know you always steal them when you come in, and I…I don’t know…I thought maybe you would like to wear them here or she could wear them when she wakes up or I can just take them back to the station with me.”

“Grazie,” Carina said, taking them, “I will keep them here.”

“Is she…I mean how is…I mean what…?” Andy said, not totally sure what she was trying to ask as she looked at her best friend unconscious, on a ventilator, looking extremely sick, “Is she doing alright? I mean, yesterday, she seemed alright and now…”

“She went into septic shock yesterday,” Carina said, taking a deep breath, “She is very sick right now, but things are slowly improving.”

Andy nodded, wanting to ask more but remembering the text they had all gotten from Amelia that morning that Carina was not doing well with all of this and to direct all questions to the neurosurgeon.

“What happened to the thing sticking out of her head?” Andy asked, deciding that because it was gone, that was probably a good thing and Carina would be happy about it.

“Her ICP monitor got to be removed this morning,” Carina said, smiling a little, “And the drain in her leg too because she was doing well in those areas. Also, the less tubes, the less the chance for infection.”

“She is going to love that hair,” Andy said, noticing that Maya had a large chunk of hair missing from her surgery.

“It will grow back,” Carina said, smiling a little, “She will probably say it looks badass.”

“How long will she be on the vent?” Andy asked, trying so hard not to push Carina too much but needing to know.

“They don’t know yet,” Carina said, tracing patterns on the back of Maya’s hand, “Her body is very weak from the infection. If she does well, maybe she will get it out tomorrow, but it’s impossible to know.”

Andy saw the tears in Carina’s eyes and decided to stop asking questions.

“Carina, is there anything I can do to help?” Andy asked, looking at her best friend’s wife, “Do you want me to bring you anything or call anyone or do anything?”

“Just make sure the station is taken care of for her,” Carina said, looking back at Maya, “She is going to be fighting tooth and hammer to get back there, but knowing it is being taken care of well by you or Jack will help her be more calm.”

“Fighting tooth and nail,” Andy chuckled, “Jack and I will take care of it. Though all of A shift was given a week off after everything so neither of us have been in to do any work, but once we go back, we will have it taken care of.”

“How is the station functioning without the engine?” Carina asked, having not really thought about the logistics of that situation.

“We are getting a new engine,” Andy said, “Fixing out old one was going to be more money than a new one. Maya is going to be so jealous. We are getting it in the next week so maybe if she’s doing better, we can facetime with her when it comes.”

“Is getting a new truck a big deal?” Carina asked, realizing she had never heard Maya talk about it.

“Yeah,” Andy nodded, “It doesn’t happen often because engines are made to last 20 years or more. Ours was 10 years old, I think. I remember when we got it. I was getting ready to apply for the academy, and my dad brought me to see it. It was the latest and greatest and so much better than the old one. We weren’t due for an upgrade for a long time, but accident basically meant we would have had to have the entire cab and part of the engine rebuilt so the department decided 19 is getting a new engine. We spend so much time with taking care of all the vehicles, and we take a lot of pride in them so getting new ones is a big deal.”

Carina nodded, smiling a tiny bit as she listened to Andy talk. It reminded her of listening to Maya talk about her job. The blonde truly loved firefighting and could talk Carina for hours. Sometimes, the blonde would get so wrapped up in telling Carina something technical about her job and then, suddenly, she would remember she wasn’t talking to Vic or Andy or Travis or anyone else in her line of work and look up with a shy smile on her face, apologizing. Carina would always insist it was fine, and to be honest, she loved hearing Maya talk about her job both because she loved learning about her wife’s job and also because there were very few things that brought Maya as much joy as talking her job.

Though Carina didn’t get to see it often, she did see that kind of pure happiness in the photos Travis would send her of Maya when she was talking about her. It made Carina blush without fail every time, but Carina felt the exact same way about the blonde, so it was also nice to know it was reciprocated.

She looked at her wife, tears filling her eyes again as she thought about how much the woman loved fighting fires and hoping that one day, she would be able to do what she loved again.

“She’s gonna make it back to the station,” Andy said as if she could read Carina’s mind.

Carina nodded, brushing the tears away. The two of them chatted a little more before Andy headed out.

“Oh,” the Latina said, “Dean just texted. Apparently, he just got childcare in the form of a surprise visit from his mom, and he was wondering if he could swing by just for a few minutes in like an hour.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “That is fine. You all deserve to see Maya. You are her family too.”

“I know,” Andy said, “But she is also your wife, and you have the right to tell us all to get lost if you need to. We all mean well, but sometimes, we are all annoying idiots.”

“You are all just very…loud,” Carina said, “But you can only some in one at a time so it helps. Plus, I know Amelia told all of you to back in.”

“Back off,” Andy said, smiling, “And she just told us not to be overwhelming, which is a good reminder for everyone. I am going to get going. I will try to come back tomorrow if you are feeling up to guests.”

“Thank you for coming,” Carina said, “And for the sweatshirts.”

“Of course,” Andy said, giving Carina a small hug, “Text if you need anything else.”

For the next hour, Carina just sat there, Teddy popping back in to make sure she was alright and to see if she needed anything before going back to her patient who was having some strange anomalies that she was working with Maggie to solve. Carina told her she was fine, that Dean was coming soon to see Maya.

Other than that, and a nurse coming in to give Maya more meds, Carina was alone with her wife for the next hour, just watching her chest rise and fall.

Now that she could see Maya’s hair, she realized just how dirty parts of the fire captain were. She made a mental note to ask a nurse to help her get what she needed to give her a sponge bath just to get some of the remaining soot, grime, blood, and iodine off her wife’s skin. They had cleaned up the parts of her that they had operated on but most of the rest of her was still pretty messy from the fire and accident and honestly just not showering for a few days.

Just then, there was a soft knock at the door and Dean came in.

“Hey Carina,” he said, offering her a smiled.

“Hello Dean,” Carina said as he handed her a bouquet of flowers, “These are beautiful. Maya will love them when she wakes up.”

“My mom always impresses upon us to never show up to the hospital empty handed,” Dean said, shrugging, “And I know I am technically here to see Maya, but also I think she mentioned these are your favorites and right now, you are the one who can enjoy them.”

“I can’t believe you remembered my favorite kind of flower,” Carina said, wiping a tear from her eye.

“I may have helped Maya with the flowers for your wedding,” Dean admitted, “I have a friend who is a florist, and she let Maya go into her shop even with the pandemic. And then my friend had me bring a bouquet of these to Maya to give to you when you came back from Italy I think.”

“I remember Maya telling me that,” Carina nodded, “She was so happy about it. And yes, she had the flowers waiting for me in my quarantine room when I got back from Italy.”

“Well, I was happy you two were having a wedding,” Dean smiled, “I actually told her you two should have one.”

“So it was you,” Carina said, remembering the conversation she had had with Maya about having a wedding.

She was three days into her quarantine in Italy and was to go a little stir crazy. She was staying in a room at Gabriella’s apartment. She would leave the room only to get herself food from the kitchen to take back to her room to eat when Gabriella was out at the hospital and to use the bathroom, and she would always wear a mask when she did that.

She was extremely jetlagged and dealing with all the side effects of that too. All she wanted was to go home to her fiancé, to hold her forever and never let go. Maya called her when she was free, but she missed the physical contact.

Maya had called her at the end of her shift which was afternoon for Carina, though on that day, she had taken a nap because she felt so incredibly shitty from the jetlag, and the phone ringing had woken her up.

“Hello,” Carina said, answering.

“Oh, Car, did I wake you up?” Maya said, immediately seeing how sleepy her fiancé looked, “I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head, “I need to be awake so I can sleep tonight.”

“Ok,” Maya said, “How are you feeling? Any symptoms?”

“I had a headache earlier,” Carina said, grabbing her thermometer, “But I think it was just the jetlag because I feel better now. No fever. Hopefully it stays that way. How was work?”

“Vic’s parent’s restaurant caught fire,” Maya said with a sigh as she sat down on the bed, “It was a mess, but it should all be able to be repaired. It made shift long and hard.”

“I’m sorry Bambina,” Carina frowned, “Are her parents ok?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “They are sad about the restaurant, but it ended up being something that helped them reconnect with Vic. Oh, and I will have to send you the news clip of Vic and her parents because it was absolutely incredible.”

“I’m glad it was not all bad then,” Carina smiled, “Are you going to do your medical tent today?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “We aren’t officially allowed to do it as SFD, but we are going to go as civilians.”

“Are you allowed to do that?” Carina asked, remembering how apprehensive Maya had been about going to the protests because of her position.

“At this point, I don’t care,” Maya said, “I need to support my team and do what I think is right, SFD protocol be damned.”

“I am proud of you, Bambina,” Carina smiled, realizing how much her fiancé had grown in the past few months.

As she looked at Maya, she realized there was something she wasn’t saying.

“What is going on in that beautiful brain of yours Bambina?” Carina asked.

“Well, I was thinking more about getting married,” Maya said, “And well…”

“Do you not want to get married Bambina?” Carina said, fear filling her entire body.

“No,” Maya said quickly, “No, not at all. No. I want to get married. I want to marry you right now. I was just talking to my team because they are all almost as excited as me, and…What do you think about having a wedding? Just something small, maybe at the station or something? I can plan the entire thing and all you have to do is show up and maybe look nice though you could wear a t-shirt with holes and still look stunning so wear whatever. I just think that after the year we all have had that it might be fun and if you hate it, we can just go to a justice of the peace and do it just the two of us and that’s also fine. You know what, just forget about it. We don’t need a wedding. It was stupid and…”

“Bambina, breathe,” Carina said, smiling a little as Maya rambled, “I think a small wedding would be fun. You are right. We have all had a long year, and as long as we can do it safely, I think it would be nice to have a small wedding.”

“Really?” Maya said, smiling.

“Si,” Carina nodded, “This quarantine has already been torture enough, and having something fun to look forward to will be good.”

“What, marrying me isn’t enough for you?” Maya feigned hurt.

“All I want is to marry you,” Carina said, smiling at the fire captain, “But a little party would be fun. Let’s have a wedding.”

The squeal that came out of Maya was so adorable that Carina could have died, and the next two weeks of her quarantine were filled with trying to help Maya plan the wedding and listening her fiancé tell her about the various things she was gotten planned too, helping pass the mind-numbingly boring quarantine without going completely crazy.

“I am glad you told her we should have a wedding,” Carina said, looking at Dean, trying her hardest to smile, “It was…the most amazing day. And thank you for helping her with the flowers.”

“I really just took her to meet my friend,” Dean shrugged, “And I selfishly was in need of something happy at that point in the pandemic. And seeing our captain be happy was exactly what everyone needed.”

Carina nodded, looking down at her wife, brushing a piece of hair off Maya’s face.

“Well, I am going to head out,” Dean said, “My mom is home with Pru, and I’m sure you need to rest. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help and keep me updated on how Cap is doing.”

“Thank you for the flowers Dean,” Carina said, “And for coming.”

The firefighter left, leaving Carina alone. A nurse came in a few minutes later to check some vitals.

“Can I have some things to give her a sponge bath please?” Carina asked, looking at the nurse.

“Of course,” the nurse nodded, “I was going to send someone in to do it later, but I should have known you would want to do it. I will bring everything in in about five minutes.”

Carina sat there next to Maya, just studying her body, making sure she wasn’t missing any signs of anything being wrong. Her blood pressure was doing alright, and she didn’t feel hotter than earlier.

“She’s still looking good Carina,” Teddy said, walking in, “I just saw her latest labs, and other than her inflammatory markers not coming down as much as they hoped, she is doing well.”

“She just looks so fragile,” Carina said, wiping a tear from her eye, “She is normally so strong, and right now, she is just…any little thing could go wrong and change our lives forever.”

“But she is still your strong wife,” Teddy said, “She is fighting tooth and nail to come back to you, Carina. Can’t you see it? Her numbers are improving, and she is getting better. You know it’s slow going with sepsis, but she is trying to come back to you.”

“I know,” Carina nodded as she looked back at Maya, seeing her chest rising and falling, “I just wish it was faster.”

“I know,” Teddy said, “How was it seeing people from the station this morning?”

“It was good,” Carina nodded, “Andy had already been here, but Dean also came and brought flowers.”

“He brought your favorite flowers,” Teddy said, looking over, “How did he know?”

“He helped Maya with our wedding flowers,” Carina said, “And remembered because he brought these to her when I came back from my time in Italia.”

“Wow,” Teddy said, “He is going to make someone a very good husband one day.”

“Si,” Carina nodded as a nurse came in with a cart with everything Carina would need to give Maya a sponge bath.

“Let me know if you need anything else,” the nurse said.

“Shit,” Teddy said, glancing down at her phone, “My patient needs to go into emergency surgery. Are you ok here by yourself? I can have Maggie page someone else.”

“No,” Carina said, “Go. Ben is going to be here soon, and I am feeling a little better today.”

“Alright,” Teddy said, “I will be back as soon as I can.”

Carina nodded, grabbing the stuff for the sponge bath, deciding to start with Maya’s face. She gently washed her wife’s face, gently cleaning the blood around the cuts on her face and out her of her hair, making sure not to get her stitches wet. She then carefully applied antibiotic ointment to all the various injuries. She then moved on to her right arm, carefully taking off the brace that Link had put on. She then carefully washed her arm, getting the soot and blood off the scrapes and cuts there. She left the brace off to make sure the arm was dry and able to breathe a little. She then moved on to Maya’s chest, folding the blanket over so half of her bare chest was showing. She carefully washed the cuts that where there, making sure to get Maya clean. She repeated the same thing on the other side before covering Maya back up to prevent chills because of her temperature was still not back to normal. She cleaned off Maya’s other arm before moving down to her legs. Those were much easier before aside from the cut in her thigh, Maya’s legs were free from cuts and injuries. Carina also washed her feet, knowing how bad her wife’s feet tended to smell after she wore her turnout boots. Just as she finished with the sponge bath, there was another knock at the door.

“Hey,” Ben said, poking his head in, “Is now an ok time?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, moving the cart with the bowls of water over.

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Ben asked, “I can come back later.”

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head, “I’m done. I just wanted to get her cleaned up a little.”

Honestly, getting Maya cleaned up made Carina feel good, like she was actually doing something to help for the first time in days.

“How is she?” Ben asked, looking his captain up and down, noting all her visible injuries.

“Everyone keeps saying that she is doing well all things considered,” Carina sighed, sitting back down.

“How are you doing?” Ben asked, handing her a cup of coffee he had brought in with him.

“I am…No lo so,” Carina said, taking a sip of the coffee, “It has not been easy watching her like this.”

“I get it,” Ben nodded, “When Miranda had her heart attack…those were the absolute hardest days…and she was only unconscious for her surgery and had no complications. I can’t imagine how much harder this is.”

Carina nodded, picking up her blanket again, just needing to feel the soft fabric in her hands. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Ben asked.

“I don’t know,” Carina said, shrugging, “Thank you for getting here alive. That is enough.”

“It’s just my job,” Ben shrugged, “And she’s got a lot of fight in her so she wasn’t about to go anywhere and leave you here.”

Carina cracked a half smile, looking at Ben.

“Well, still,” Carina said, “Knowing you were the one who was with her in the field until she could get here made me feel better.”

Ben walked over to Carina, putting a hand on her shoulder. Physical touch was still not something Carina was too keen on, but Ben’s touch was a little comforting even if it made her skin hurt. They just stayed there for a few minutes before Ben moved.

“I need to get home,” he said, “Joey’s home right now, and I promised him and Tuck that I would take them out for breakfast today.”

“It’s almost noon?” Carina said, confused.

“Teenagers,” Ben shrugged, “They sleep forever. Text me if you need anything.”

“Grazie Ben,” Carina nodded as she tried to get herself settled back in her chair, holding Maya’s hand and just watching her breathe as she waited for the next wave of visitors.