the ultrasound

If Fallon had been freaking out when she entered the doctor's office, she was now straight up having a heart attack. Breathing was becoming difficult, her mouth was suddenly dry, she tried to inhale but nothing was going in. She felt a dizziness overwhelm her.

"Easy, easy,Miss Eftekhari," doctor Cahill said as gentle hands reached for shoulders from across his desk, "Take it easy. Come on, breath in slowly through your nose, close your mouth. There you go, now deep breath, and out. Deep breath again, and out..."

Like a child, Fallon followed the doctor's instructions without question. She breathed in, and breathed out and after sometime, she calmed down and the room came into focus again. The doctor's hands slid from her shoulders and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"An ultrasound? Isn't that what they do to listen to the baby's heartbeat or something?"

"Technically, yes. But here, I will not be doing it so you can listen to the baby's heartbeat, I am doing it to determine the location of the baby. The medical option could be fatal if the pregnancy is implanted outside the uterus."

"But I can hear the baby's heartbeat, right?"

He gave her a look that was now straight up full of pity, "If you want to, I suppose you can but what's the point?"

"I..." Fallon could not explain why she wanted to hear her baby's heartbeat before it stopped. Before she stopped it. She just knew she would want to hear it at least once. Maybe it had something to do with the horrible feeling she had that this may be her only pregnancy or the doubts that now overwhelmed her.

"I want to hear it and see it," Fallon said with finality.

He hesitated, "Are you sure? And may I ask why your boyfriend is not here with you today?"

"He had to go to work."

"And you didn't?"

"I did but I requested an afternoon shift."

"And he couldn't?"

"He is not the one who is pregnant," Fallon snapped angrily, she was sensing his pity and she wanted none of it.

"True. But sometimes, in some moments, just having someone there to hold your hand helps. Hop on Miss Eftekhari, let's finish this."

Fallon stepped on the bed and the doctor moved on her side.

"Lift up your shirt a little please," he requested.

Fallon was grateful in that moment that she had chosen to wear a shirt and pants and not a dress.

He applied a something cold on her stomach and expertly spread it out, sending a shiver or two up Fallon's spine, and it was not because it was cold. Fallon was thankful that he was wearing gloves because if he had not she was sure her goosebumps would have been noticeable. Whether he noticed her nipples harden or not, Fallon could not tell, but she regretted not wearing a thicker bra when she noticed them.

He placed the ultrasound device on her stomach next and moved it around briefly while simultaneously looking at his computer on the desk. After a few minutes, he turned the computer her way.

"There you go."

Fallon inclined her head for a better look and stared at the screen as the little heartbeat beat steadily.

"Oh, and there goes the second one," doctor Cahill said, his voice inflection betraying the excitement he was feeling a little bit.

For a second, Fallon's heartbeat gave a skip as she looked at the two heartbeats on the screen, beating in tandem, reminding her that there was life growing inside her. She wasn't even surprised that they were two of them as Tom had a twin whom they had agreed never to talk about. She felt a mist cloud her vision and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Miss Eftekhari?"

Fallon's reply was chocked.

"Fuck this!" The doctor whispered and suddenly, Fallon felt a hand reach for hers, it was ungloved too.

His fingers clasped hers in a warm comforting grip while his other hand held the ultrasound device in place and together, they watched the two heartbeats for a minute, none uttering a word. For one magical minute, Fallon felt as if the doctor was an extension of her, an extra battery she could draw energy from, it didn't last though, Fallon ruined the moment with a sob. Gently, he untangled his fingers from hers and removed the ultrasound device from her stomach.

"Would you like a recording of that?" He asked as Fallon lowered her shirt and hopped from the bed to sit back on the chair and he went back behind his desk.

"Yes please."

He looked at her forms and typed on his computer, "Coming up in your email in a second," he said and true to his word, Fallon heard her phone give a ping.

The doctor took out a shiny pen from his desk and started writing on a blank paper, he wrote for some time and then handed the paper to her.

"Here. It's a prescription for the drugs that you need. You can pick them up at our pharmacy any day from now. You are six weeks along and it is usually better to use the medical procedure for pregnancies below six weeks so you have around three weeks to decide if you want to. Unless you want to do it now?"

Fallon shook her head vigorously. Her thoughts were now conflicted. She didn't have money to take care of one child leave alone two, but looking at the heartbeats had made her feel as of she could do anything. As if she could lay down her very own life for the sake of those two heartbeats.

"Right. The pills come with instructions. If you feel like going through with it, then do so within the next three weeks. If you go past the three weeks and decide you want to get rid of it, then please come back here for further advise. Do not use the pill past the tenth week."

Fallon nodded.

He gave her a long unreadable look and sighed, as if coming to a decision.

"Not to pry miss Eftekhari, but why did you decide on terBerintion?"

Fallon felt like she owed him an answer after the way he had supported her during the ultrasound, so she tried to find the most honest answer to the question, for his sake as well as for hers.

"I am graduating in three months. My sister and I have plans to move to LA and my boyfriend is going to London. Honestly, this pregnancy couldn't have picked a more inconvenient time."

"So your issue is the timing?"

"And the finances. I mean if I had money, I could put my career on hold and take care of them and pick up from where I left it when they are older, but I don't."

"You have a job I believe?"

"Three jobs but it is not enough. I am barely sustaining myself, and I have a lot of student loans that I would probably still be paying at forty."

"What about your sister? It says here she is your next of kin?" He said tapping on one of the forms.

"She is a student, she is pays our rent and is saving up for the move."

"Parents?"

"Dead."

"I am sorry."

Fallon shrugged, "It was five years ago."

"Well, just go home and think through it okay?"

Fallon gave a bitter laugh, "What is there to think through? I want these babies, that much is obvious, but I can't have them. It is cruel to have them if I can't give them a life they deserve, at least one where they have basic needs."

Fallon was grateful when he did not suggest adoption.

"Well, I will just go," Fallon said folding the prescription.

"Have a nice day and good luck with your decision."

"Thank you doctor."

Fallon headed to the pharmacy and picked up the prescription, then headed to their apartment to get ready for work. She found Berin changing from her leotard.

"Did you do it?" Berin asked.

Fallon had texted Berin the decision that she and Tom had made and Berin had been all for it.

"I am giving myself couple of days to think it through, I have the pill though."

"What is there to think through Alloy? You can't have a baby, and you know it."

"I know," Fallon said as she fixed herself a sandwich, "It is just too soon okay? I need time to ease myself into it. To think and accept that this is the right decision for me. It will just take a couple of days I swear."

"Okay," Berin squeezed her shoulder.

Fallon went to work that afternoon and did her work mechanically, with an absent mind. She had gotten the job through one of her professors. She worked in a villa down the beach, cleaning. It was a good job and it paid well, plus the tenants who rented the villa were always rich and willing to give a good tip. She had been working there for three years now, in addition to working in a bookstore on Saturdays and writing for the school paper in her free time. Between her jobs and her classes, her schedule was as busy as it could get.

As she was finishing arranging towels in a room,her phone rang. It was the receptionist at the hospital calling to tell her that they had forgotten to include painkillers in her prescription.

"Can you swing by and pick them up?' the receptionist asked.

Fallon looked at her phone and noted that it was already five o'clock and her shift didn't end until an hour later.

"You can pick them up tomorrow?" the receptionist suggested.

Fallon groaned. Monday was the only day of the week she got to have free time since she didn't have a class.

"Can't I just buy them at the pharmacy?" Fallon asked.

"Not without a prescription and we retained yours."

"Fine, what time do you close?"

"Six."

"I can be there by six thirty, do you mind waiting up for me?"

"No problem."

Fallon finished up with her work quickly and drove to the clinic, she parked in the exact same spot she had parked in morning but before she walked out she noticed that the hospital doors were already closed shut.

She took out her phone to call the receptionist but before she dialed the number, something caught her eye and she sat still, trying not to be too obvious.

Gina Fairway was being escorted discreetly from a car in the parking lot by what looked like her bodyguard towards the hospital. She snapped a few photos even though she only caught the celebrity's back. Gina was dressed simply, an attempt to blend in no doubt. She watched as the doors of the hospital opened a tiny bit and Gina slid in, her bodyguard turned around and headed back to the car, then drove off a few seconds later.

Fallon's mind was already analysing the information. Was Gina Fairway in Miami for an abortion? But if she was, why go to the cheap reproduction hospital? Why not go to Newlife? For privacy of course, no one would know who she was here. Who was the father? Could this be the breakout story Fallon had been hoping for? If she could write a story on the biggest star in Hollywood, maybe she could sell it and have enough money to take a few weeks of work to have her babies? Maybe she could get a better job and raise them? Maybe...

Someone tapped on her window, it was the receptionist.

"Here you go," the receptionist said handing her a bottle of pills, "why didn't you call? I have been waiting for you at the back."

Fallon tried to look as innocent as possible, "Sorry. I zoned out. Thank you."

"You are welcome miss Eftekhari, and you better leave now before security starts to get suspicious."

Fallon had no choice but to drive away but she still looked back, hoping to get a last look of Gina, she didn't.