Chapter 38 : That Incident

"He was my first man."

"...."

At Tharn's closing words, the southern lad who was kneeling to the side froze, he turned to look at Tharn with a bland expression of recognition... He admitted that he had slept with his brother's friend, which caused the dazed man to reach for the pillow, and then....

Snap

"Oh hey, Ai'Type."

Only when Type hit him in the face with a pillow with all his might did he scream, but Type was still not relieved, because the sensitive part of his heart felt so bad that he hit him for a second time, a third time, and then again and again, the drummer himself was too late to get up, and since he could not resist, he had to roll over and run away.

The loud shouting didn't make Thiwat feel any less relieved, instead, he was even more exasperated at the thought of the bastard Phi's words and Dead Tharn's reply, his whole body trembling, wanting to use all means to make him suffer even more, so....

Bang

"Ai'Type...I...can't breathe...gasp... "Type's hands were still holding down that handsome, disgusting face with the original pillow, so much so that Tharn waved both hands in the air as if he was really lacking in oxygen, so that Type was willing to let go.

"Huh," Type made a disgruntled noise and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Oh [cough] [cough], are you trying to kill me or something?" Tharn yelled angrily, but the more exasperated simply slammed the previous pillow in his face.

"If I really wanted to kill you, I would just grab you by the neck, without the aid of that damn pillow." Type's voice said vaguely, squinting at the half-breed who was now out of shape on the bed, though he was just as tired after going to such lengths to hurt him like this.

Don't ask what the man to do this way, he didn't know, just want to give him a few slaps in the face.

After that, the dark-skinned lad said one word.

"Slut!"

The word "Slut" made him open his mouth to argue, but Type was furious...I'll curse you, what can you do about me?

The thinking person inadvertently asked.

"How many people did you sleep with before you met me?" Type himself didn't realize that it was a jealous lover's sorta question, and one that made even those listening bitter, Tharn stroked his now flushed face from the violence he'd suffered.

"Why do you need to know now?"

 Snap

"What! There are too many to remember already?"

Hearing the answer for a split second, Thiwat turned back as if to pick a fight, looking at the man who had rubbed his face so hard it seemed to hurt, but he felt no guilt at all, instead, more disgust that he hadn't answered the few people sleeping.

"Neither...but you need to know why. It won't do you much good." The drummer asked calmly, while also moving closer, watching Type silently, as if expecting an answer that Type himself didn't have.

Well, why should I want to know?

"Just answer it Ai'Hiaa..." Type asked forcefully, and the person who made him come over and stick it to just smile at him...a shallow smile that seemed like he didn't know why he was smiling.

After that, he moved his face so close that at first Type thought he was going to pout to kiss him on the cheek, and to be sure, when he did, he was wholly bad, because the kiss was still acceptable, but not if it was on the cheek, the sweetness was sickening.

But.....

Thud

The heavy head just slid past his cheek and lay in his lap. So much so that the owner of the leg was speechless.

"Ai'Tharn."

"Consider it offsetting the fact that you almost killed me, there's nothing to be gained by me lying down on your lap, why are you still upset?" When finding a comfortable angle on the sturdy legs, Tharn said simply enough that Type himself wanted to push his heavy head out, but because it didn't take a moment, Tharn's two arms were around his waist, strangling so tightly that Type was too lazy to waste his energy resisting.

Perhaps, in fact, it was acceptable for him to just lie on his lap.

"Really looking for a place to lie down and not afraid to die, you," let Tharn know that the tough tone of his displeasure still didn't stop.

"Huh?" the one who listened laughed and raised his head at the same time, so much so that the two eyes collided.

At this point, Type also got a clear view of his boyfriend's face...a look so good it was disgusting to see someone smiling at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Ai'Hiaa, what kind of apology is that?"

"I myself also said bad things to you," he said in a guilty tone, but also touched his hand in front of the hair tug, so that Type had to pat his hand away.

"You kept your body like a jade."

"I'm not as frivolous as you are."

Far from the truth, there's actually no such thing that anyone would take lightly.

He'd also only slept with one girl in his life, and that was when he'd been in a relationship with that said ex-girlfriend, and now he had brainstormed about another good thing coming up and picked this handsome schmuck lying on his lap, so he wasn't frivolous because he'd only slept with one person, and Tharn was so frivolous he didn't know how many times he'd slept with others.

"Why do you want to know about my former bedmate?" Suddenly, the person who took the initiative to pamper him got serious, so that the person who was listening could barely laugh, and after thinking for a while, his voice said sarcastically.

"Your first bed mate came after me."

"Brother San?"

"Ai'Bastard! Don't even mention him, will you?" The man listening cursed annoyed, and when Tharn remembered who the man was, it made him feel like Tharn still cared about the bastard. Thought being cursed, he would know shame, however, not really, and now the icy lump was laughing even more than before, laughing so hard one wanted to push his head off.

 Snap

"Being jealous of me?" but before that pillow punch could be done, Tharn took the opportunity to grab the southern lad's hand, and then pulled him over so that the two men looked at each other blinking times, and the one who was listening frowned and repeated the question again.

"You mean me?"

"Eh, it's you, so you making yourself look like a lunatic these days is because of being jealous of me." To the surprise of those who listened, but he said in a mocking tone.

"You're not narcissistic enough to think that someone like me would...."

"Eh, its people like you who come at me for other people's words." It was Tharn again helping him review what people like him were like, and it made Type grit his teeth, wanting to grab the pillow and squeeze it dead in his face again, this time preferably so that he couldn't speak.

The look on Type's face caused the person watching to sigh heavily as well, then ask more seriously than originally.

"Is it so hard to just say you're jealous of me?"

"...."

"Is it embarrassing for you to admit to being jealous in a big way?  Ai'Type."

"...."

Type was still reluctant to answer, feeling like he was being defied of his authority, because he didn't want to be the only one who was blindly excited and in a hurry to sing the words of love, and he was also a man, and it was hard for him to accept things like being jealous of men, which made Tharn continue.

"I've also directly admitted to being jealous of you and Puifai before, no, not just before, now I'm jealous every time I hear that woman's name coming out of your mouth, directly saying that if I could go back to that day, I wouldn't have agreed to you going to her birthday party, wouldn't have let you rub your body against her and smell of perfume like that,...see? And I dare to admit it outright, you, how about you man up." Despite feeling a little fleshy knowing he was jealous, everything felt incredibly good enough to make him look down at the Western half-breed with his eyes earnestly fixed back.

"Do you think I'd be willing to talk if you provoked me?"

"Say it or not, you know it in your own mind."

As soon as Tharn refuted, Type words were jammed, and could only look at the man who was lying on his back, holding him, and finally let out a long sigh, willing to put down that stupid face, and uttered the words.

"Your Brother San wants you back," a willingness to say it straight up, would indicate jealousy.

The man who stared back thought, and then said in a stern tone.

"He came and asked me what my relationship was with you and then just said he was your first and only time, ha, just thinking about it makes me angry." After saying that and staring into the face of the man who had made him have to wander through other people's games like this, even Tharn froze for a moment, then repeatedly asked.

"He told you?"

"Eh!" As soon as he heard this, he sighed heavily, rubbed his hair hard, sat up from his lap, and then turned to look at Type's face, and shortly after making up his mind, he asked.

"Then you want to hear about me and him?" Asked Type replied without hesitation.....

"Eh!!!" At least it was better to know from his mouth than to hear from the one who was destroying their couple-ish harmony.

At the age of fourteen, Tharn was more like a child of mixed blood than a multi-ethnic Tharn, plus he was still small and thin, with skin as white as a person of Western descent, bright red lips, and a handsome face that revealed some cuteness, so much so that he often received extra affection from his elders.

But removing his outstanding appearance, he also began to be interested in love affairs just like any other boy, though unlike other children he was interested not in the opposite sex, but... the same sex.

Tharn's first such perception came at the age of 13 when he saw his friends playing and changing after a game, and the boy's body, which was identical in structure to his, instead made him gag, and no matter how much he turned his head to avoid it in the other direction, he noticed them chest, abdomen, and sweat-soaked back and secretly collected fantasies.

That's when he knew he didn't like girls.

Since then, no matter how hard he tried to hypnotize himself, no matter how hard he tried to hang out with the girls, the result was the opposite, he didn't have a physical reaction to the girls, even when he watched a porno with his friends, he didn't feel it when his friends said they couldn't stand the stimulations, instead his eyes moved more to the main character, so much so that he began to know, to understand himself, but then he was still a 14-year-old boy who didn't know who to ask for advice.

Although he had seen several friends in boys' school who showed their girlish heart, he was not one of those who needed to dress up or act like a girl, but on the contrary, he still wanted to be a manly boy like his older brother.

"Wasn't that phi your senior?" just as he was in a period of confusion, he came close to the senior.

It was a senior who had known him since the first year, and they would not have been so close if it had not been for the fact that Brother San came to his house so often that he was almost accustomed to the fact that he often saw him and immediately ran to him.

"Just took a vacation? Ho, envy, envy, senior year is going to be a long time in class." At that time, San was also a senior who captured the hearts of a group of junior school boys by the virtue of his tall body and unlikely muscles of a senior student. Even those students who are good-looking, have good haircuts, and study land protection can't hide this senior's aura.

San's charm is so great that students from other all girls' schools knew about him, and it is said that hundreds of girls from the school come to him to ask for makeup lessons, and he is also famous among the younger students.

At the time, Brother San and Brother Thorn were well-known storm troopers in the school, but Tharn began to notice the strange way Brother San looked at him.

Not sure how, but Tharn thinks his brother's friend was taking an interest in him.

The feeling at the time, Tharn thought was exciting, novel and worth exploring. So much so that he wanted to try everything, and he didn't object when Brother San came to the house to stay beside him, and brought him food.

"Why does Brother San always have to call me Brother Tharn, just call me Tharn, Brother." He had asked that once, making the listener laugh and put his hand on his head and rubbed it lovingly.

"Because Brother Tharn is cute, your brother calls you little princess, I'm afraid Brother Tharn feels aggrieved, so I have to find a word to call you, to make you look cute, your brother doesn't care, but your brother's friends do." San said so, then rubbed his hair and turned his hand around his shoulder so that Tharn didn't refuse either.

Instead, he tensed up and shivered all over.

Brother San stepped in and helped him release.

In that second, Tharn understood that now he and Brother San were having a special relationship that went beyond being schoolmates, so much so that he was beginning to determine that he was interested in the same sex, but at the time he didn't know what he was getting into.

Despite being interested in Brother San, despite starting to make eye contact with him, Tharn was still confused that he wasn't just interested in Brother San alone, that his eyes would still follow his classmates, and wondered what it would be like to touch that classmate the way Brother San had touched him.

Such thoughts made him nervous to death.

But the day after that, the day Mom and Dad went on a business trip abroad, it just so happened that Thanya was also sick and hospitalized, so much so that Brother Thorn had to come and go to look after her, so he, Tharn was called to the music room by a friend.

It was a room where the orange-red light of the sun shining in would project a speck of stars, and Brother San was standing next to the set of drums Tharn usually played, then turned to look at him.

"Brother likes it when you play the drums," said San, then beckoned him over and handed him the drumsticks.

"But it's past closing time now, brother."

"It's okay, I asked the teacher's permission, and also, I promised your brother that I would take you back with me today." San talked like that, so much so that Tharn had to take the drumsticks in his hands and just stare at them for a few seconds before walking off to sit in a fixed position, and then started pounding away like he didn't expect to make a full song, but pounded away, and spoke up.

"Brother... I want to study music, but Mom and Dad won't agree... I may have to give up."

"Why? Isn't now just the thing you like?"

"Dad said it was just a momentary interest of young people, and if I really liked it, I would have to wait until I got into college, and he wanted me to study science first in case I needed it later. But I love music, I love playing the drums and want to stay with the drums, but... that's about it." Tharn wasn't sure why he was willing to talk to the other person, but maybe it was because no one in the family was listening to his thoughts and feeling depressed.

Wait a year or two or three and you might learn eventually, but wouldn't it be better to just let it happen in the first place? Can be the quickest.

Thinking about it, the hands unconsciously struck harder, as if spilling his frustration on the beloved instrument, so much so that Brother San grabbed his hand.

"Don't admit defeat to anything easily."

"But that's the only way to admit defeat, Brother San." Brother San looked at him, the look in his eyes that day he still remembered so well...Brother San understood him.

"It is not so, and the reason why the adults say that is because they see us as children. If Tharn wants to get what he needs, Tharn must package himself as an adult and think like one, and not let them think it's just a child's idea, that we can't grow into adults overnight, but we can act so that they know we're as responsible as adults." San said it like that, and it became something Tharn kept in mind until the big words.

At this point San's hand also clenched tightly, causing Tharn to have to look up at him until he saw the smile that made Tharn feel incredulous, so he didn't resist coming closer to the face either.

Brother San kissed him.

"Brother likes it when Tharn plays the drums," muttered San.

"Really?"

"Not just when you're playing the drums, any time...like you." Brother San still whispered in an intoxicatingly soft voice, and touched his lips again.

At that time everything was a first, both nervous and excited, and so new that one had to open one's mouth to greet the senior's kiss.

"It's my senior's."

After that Tharn could not remember exactly what they had done, what had happened, what steps they had been lured to, he only knew that he had lost consciousness in the music room because of the pain, and had been at home when he regained consciousness again, himself looked after by Brother San all night long.

"As soon as we entered, San was beaten by my brother, who had returned from the hospital, till he bled from the corner of his mouth."

"Your brother knows, huh?"

"Well, because Brother San confessed what he had done to me."

Now Type was sleeping with his head up next to this person who was talking about his first love experience in his life, directly saying that he was not in a good mood, that might be a turning point to let him know what he liked, but why did it have to be that damn big senior who opened Tharn's door to his new world, and what he had taught him was also a good overkill pain, and Type felt that he could not compare.

"Didn't you say earlier that he told you to go ask and say 'to sleep' didn't you?"

"Then you won't listen even if I explain the details to you." A flashback to when he'd sounded tough.

"And then what? Why don't you go out with him if you like him?"

"Did I ever say a word that I liked Brother San?" Tharn interrogated back with a word, leaving those who listened to lie silent and skimpy.

"If you don't like him then, what that's for sleeping with him for, are you horny or what." Eventually Type cursed out anyway, and Tharn just shook his head.

"That would be anyone wondering to try, imagine if a girl offered to sleep with you when you were fourteen, would you foolishly refuse?"

"But that's a girl, not a boy." Pretty sure, Type was sophomoric, causing the person listening to sigh heavily.

"If you get rid of the sex issue, can you see something more?"

"Cussing me again," Thiwat's voice disconcertedly looked at the man who was laughing out loud.

"Go on, won't interrupt." Speaking of which, Type also wondered how they split up.

"It's nothing really, that's all." Tharn said succinctly, but there was not the slightest bit of disbelief on the part of those listening.

"I would have given birth to a cow if I had believed you (i.e. stupid as hell)."

"You don't have a womb, how are you going to give birth to a calf."

 Snap

Thiwat immediately punched him in the hard shoulder, eliciting a laugh from Tharn, but the man was willing to continue.

"Huh, since then, like I told you, there's nothing more, I don't think he's the one I want, well, the pain tore my heart out is another thing, but I just don't feel like that state, the more I sleep with someone I don't like, the more I feel guilty, back then I felt like I just slept with my own brother, can't tell what it's like, so as soon as Brother San offered to get involved with me, I refused because I thought of him as my own brother."

"You're like a shameless girl who sleeps with someone else and says you can't remember."

"Being with Brother San was an unforgettable thing."

 Clang

"Ai'Tharn, don't talk like you're praising him, I'm sickened."

Yes, he didn't like it when Tharn spoke as if his heart was willingly asleep, because even after listening to so much, he couldn't imagine that Tharn had listened to the lies before he got dazed in the music room. Like him, it's more likely that he's the one who's been throwing himself at the seniors.

"It's true... Brother San has taught me a lot of things, not just how to sleep with boys." Then Tharn continued.

"Even though I turned him down, he was a good mentor and taught me how I should convince my parents to let me learn music, and he said how quickly I can learn to be like an adults and how quickly our parents can reassure of me. Even when I went to the restaurant to play music, he supported me. Because he feels that working part-time is also a kind of learning. He told me not to use Thai values as a measure to say that people who work while going to school are poor, and he said that if I want to understand life, I shouldn't listen to the things that our parents go through and what they chant about being good to us every day."

I feel like I'm being scolded.

Type was speechless, looking at the man who had always disguised himself as an adult, but only today had learned that this adult attribute of his came from the past, and he had to try every way he could to get his family to understand him, so they can let him go and let him learn what he liked, even to prove that he could take responsibility for his life.

When he was doing whatever he wanted and still reaching out to his parents for money because he felt it was their responsibility, he didn't think to rely as hard on himself as he did.

But all these good ideas for Tharn came from a man called...Brother San.

It's no wonder why he has so much respect for that big brother.

If Brother Ai'San gives him so much, then what am I going to fight him with?

The more he thought about it, the more annoyed Type became, but couldn't get a word out.

"So you forbid me to go and see Brother San, which I cannot do, because he is also like a dear brother to me."

"A brother who wants to sleep with his brother, right?" continued Type sarcastically, and those who listened simply shook their heads.

"You should imagine that now that this brother is grown up, he can counterattack."

Pop

"Meaning, if he's willing, then you're going to sleep with him!!!!" With that, Type quickly rose to look at him, for such things were not impossible.

Now there is no young brother Tharn, only Tharn, a brute who can't beat Brother San's xsshole bastardiness level.

"If you know the man well enough, you will know that he is not willing to be the bottom of anyone, and after you have known so much, you should be able to guess that I am equally unlikely to be willing to be the bottom for anyone now." Tharn said with a twinkle in his eye, and it seemed that Thiwat was also relieved a little...again, just a little really. When Tharn pushed him, he too fell down and lay as he had before.

"So what? You can rest easy."

Despite the drummer's words, the southern lad was instead inexplicably uneasy.

He didn't think he could beat that brother.

"I still hate that stinky face of your senior anyway."

"Then you go and tell him who I am to you." As soon as that was said, he argued back, causing Type to frown.

All being told, Tharn is egging him on to announce to the world that he is dating this man.

"No way!!!!" Why should he fall into Tharn's trap?

So Type turned his back to sleep and pulled the covers over his head.

"Go to sleep, I'm sleepy!" Though the mind was still thinking about what it had just heard to the point that it was impossible to sleep, the mouth was still saying so.

 Snap

"Asshole Tharn, I want to sleep!" Tharn said pointedly as the man behind him was slipping his hand into his shirt and stroking it towards the small of the front while kissing the back of his neck.

"Don't you want to verify to determine what I like?" Tharn's low, sexy voice whispered in his ear, making the sweat stand on end. There were also large palms that were gently squeezing the area under his belly button, as if arousing desire, making Type grit his teeth and want to try hard to grab his hand, but before he could, Type's hand reached into his pants for a fumble.

"Ai'Hiaa Tharn, you've made up things you didn't experience before, haven't you? People like you are born to be such rogues, aren't they?!" The southern boy's voice roared forcefully. For it seemed that Tharn was certainly unwilling to stop there, too, and he whispered softly.

"Huh, I like that, you do too."

Even though he had insisted on sleeping on the edge of the bed just now, he now felt that if Tharn said so... he'd be willing to do it.

It's really doubtful that if the current Tharn met the then-Ai'Hiaa brother san, who would have bottomed for who...this bastard did it to that bastard too, didn't he!

***** ****** *****