Lost Chances: When Time Flies Away(1)

Author: Ni Hai

For years, I had feelings for someone who only saw me as someone with a love-struck mind.

After deeply reflecting on my past pain, I decided to change.

To my surprise, he purposefully got himself drunk and said to me, "Hey, it's your chance. Shoot your shot."

1

On my 20th birthday, I made a wish, which, unfortunately, did not come true.

James threw me out of the room, along with my blanket.

"How dare you let down a beautiful young lady?!" I cried. I sank to my knees and leaned my weight against the door, surrendering to the flood of tears that blurred the flawless makeup I had spent three hours doing.

Not long after, I heard an angry roar coming from the other side of the door: "Margaret, don't you know that I'm a man of virtue?"

It was James Taylor, my childhood friend.

He was not currently in a relationship, but was highly desirable and had many potential suitors eager to pursue him relentlessly.

Having served him as his attendant since childhood, I grew up with him. I was forced to shoulder the blame for his actions, which led many to perceive me as frail and unruly.

I thought, "I don't have any merit. I only have hard work. Will there ever be a day when his conscience stirs and he shows me a bit of kindness?"

I just never imagined that he had no intention of doing anything other than mistreating and bullying me.

Thankfully, he limited his bullying to me alone and prevented anyone else from doing the same.

In other words, he was also my guardian.

It's quite impressive.

One night while I was studying, I was stalked by the owner of a nearby snack shop.

His appearance scared away the wretched man, who was more than five feet tall.

He even led a group of young boys in front of the store to publicize and exaggerate the incident. Finally, they were too ashamed to face anyone, so they quickly closed the store and fled.

Due to my parents' demanding schedules as doctors, they often didn't have time to take care of me. So, after this incident, they arranged for me and my belongings to move into James' home, which was in the same building.

"We're going to get the dowry for Maggie. We'll work harder so you two can relax in the future."

That was what my dad said to James.

He wasn't too direct, making us interpret the message ourselves.

I didn't know if James understood it or not. At that time, he was playing games and showed the guest room with his chin and said, "Alright, who said the capable ones shouldn't work more?"

James cleverly employed the phrase, leading my father to believe it was about him. Even as a child, James' manners and social grace shone through.

At the time, I thought James was bragging about himself, which made him attractive in my eyes.

Anyway, it's this sentence that fascinated my dad and me.

As time passed, our families grew as close as kin and celebrated Christmas together as one big family.

It was not until we got into different schools that we separated.

When we got on the train, I tugged at his sleeve and asked, "James, will you come and see me?"

"Of course not. I'll be very busy," he replied, his face filled with excitement as he envisioned his future in college.

Full of worries, I said, "Alright then, wait for me to come and see you."

The first time I came to see him was on the day of National Day.

Three days before meeting James, my excitement had already begun to bubble up inside me. And when I finally saw him, I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

It attracted the attention of the students passing by.

The sun shone brightly as the young man's white shirt fluttered in the gentle breeze. He leaned in, locking eyes with me, and the stray locks of hair that grazed his forehead brushed softly against my cheeks. It was such a tender moment that left me feeling utterly intoxicated.

I finally talked, "How come you've grown stupid in college?!"

If a girl smiles at you, then she must really like you. It's such a simple truth, but James didn't seem to understand it. Between the two of us, who was actually the foolish one?

Later, I went to see James many times. He was always surrounded by girls.

I couldn't help but feel anxious and scared.

At the age of twenty, I finally can't hold it in any longer. I want to defeat the enemy with one move and live a stable life.

2

There's no turning back.

If I fail, it will be difficult for us to meet again.

I remained laying in front of the tightly shut door and gently asked, "James, are you hungry?"

Something smashed onto the door. "Even if I'm starving, I would never eat what you bring."

Well, he's more or less a little sensitive.

"James, I'm hungry. Can you come and make me some pasta?"

There was no sound from the other side.

I pressed my ear against the door and listened intently. I couldn't tell if it was my imagination or not, but I heard faint and rhythmic sounds.

Inappropriate scenes flooded my mind, making my heart race and my ears burn with heat.

If I had known, I wouldn't have visited so many small and lousy websites. It's all because of my roommates, who kept sharing small bits of knowledge with me all the time.

After a while, I heard that the sound inside was gone, so I asked carefully, "Are you hungry now?"

No response.

After a long wait, the room still remained quiet.

I finally gave up and dragged my numb legs back to the guest bedroom. I lay on the bed and shed tears of humiliation.

"At a time when youth is in its prime and passion is high, why does he remain faithful and not be tempted by a beautiful woman? What does this mean?"

My roommate Alice sent me a long voice message with an emotional tone, and for several seconds, she pretended to be in deep thought, as if she had made a major discovery.

I thought to myself, "You're just a single girl who has never been in a relationship. What kind of analysis can you make?"

Soon, Alice sent another voice message, saying, "Be careful. Your childhood sweetheart may have been won over by one of his roommates."

But that's not true. I clearly heard the sound of simmering sauce coming from his room...

At the thought of this, my face couldn't help but burn again.

Feeling tired, I collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling in a daze.

Suddenly, there was a rapid knock on the door, and James's frigid voice pierced through. "The pasta is ready. You'll have to eat alone. I have some business to attend to and will be out for a while. Stay home."

I quickly got up to open the door, but there was no one outside.

There was a plate of delicious mac and cheese on the table. The cheesy goodness of it was a visual feast, with the noodles intertwined like a lover's embrace and the sauce drizzling over them like a waterfall of flavor.

As I took my first bite, my eyes started to water.

My parents didn't have time to cook for me when I was a child. It could be said that I grew up eating the mac and cheese made by James.

Back then, the only thing he could make was mac and cheese. The salt was not enough, and it tasted bad.

But I adhered to my principle of not complaining when there's something to eat, even if I couldn't cook, so I finished everything.

Later, James discovered that I did not grow taller and remained as thin as a stick. As a result, he began experimenting with various types of pasta, leading to a significant improvement in taste with each try.

"James, do you like girls who are fatter?"

One day, when he forced me to eat another plate of pasta, I couldn't help but ask him.

He rolled his eyes at me and said, "I'm afraid I'll waste the money your father gave me for living expenses. I'm embarrassed by how thin you are."

I didn't believe a word of it at the time. James, on the other hand, struck me as a good young man with a cold face and a warm heart. He was the type of person who didn't want credit for the good things he had done.

Coming back to reality from my memories, I picked up my phone, took a picture of the plate with mac and cheese, and posted it on my social media.

The caption was: "This is the meaning of perseverance, as well as the driving force to keep going."

After that, I kept looking forward to that person giving me likes and comments.

But nothing happened. The room was so quiet that I could only hear my own breathing and the sound of the electrical devices operating.

I couldn't help but dial James' number. When he answered the phone, the other end was very loud. The voices were drowned out by the deafening music. I couldn't help but dial James' number. Whatever I said was meaningless because I was not heard.

In less than ten seconds, he hung up and sent a WhatsApp message: "I'm busy. Don't wait for me."

I thought, "Is there anything in the bar that can keep a person seriously busy?"

What would cause you to abandon your childhood sweetheart on his birthday?

Could it be that the old saying is really true: that oil and water may mix in a jar, but they'll never become one?

"James, you've offended me," I said quietly to myself.

3

That night, I left James's house and returned to my own. I got takeout and stayed up late watching TV shows.

My parents had recently been preparing for a major operation. They were taken aback by my sudden appearance and kept urging me to return to James' house to work.

"I'm not his child bride. Why do I have to live in his house every day?" I complained in an unsatisfied tone.

My father said, "More or less, you are."

Mother added, "Unbelievable. Dear, you're already 20 years old, but you haven't dealt with James yet."

Is this what they mean by killing someone and eliminating their heart?

On the fourth day after moving back home, I became tired of takeout food and decided to show off my cooking skills by making a hot and steaming meal to reward my very fragile stomach.

While I was washing the fish I had bought, it suddenly came back to life and started bouncing vigorously. The unexpected movement frightened me to the point of tears. In my panic, I accidentally knocked over the pot and spilled all the salt on the ground. I slipped on the salt, fell to the floor, and ended up sitting in the trash can.

Looking at the mess in the kitchen, I cried and opened the takeout app.

People should know their limits. I finally understood this principle.

"If only James were here. I wouldn't feel so wronged. He used to think that I was incompetent and made mistakes, so he never let me intervene in these things."

It could be said that he was both a father and a mother, turning me into today's limbs that were not diligent and unable to tell one's elbow from one's ear.

After eating the takeout, tears filled my eyes and I rested on the sofa briefly. When I stood up to tidy the kitchen, a sudden sharp pain struck my stomach.

Holding onto my stomach, I curled up on the sofa, assuming the pain would subside as usual. However, to my surprise, it only worsened.

My back broke out in cold sweat, and my hands and feet trembled. I quickly grabbed the phone and dialed James' number.

It was rare for me to be weak and unable to take care of myself. I couldn't miss that opportunity.

"James, come to my house. I'm on the verge of dying. If you run fast, you can hear the password of my bank card," I said, enduring the pain.

"Your worthless possessions are not worth it." On the other end of the line, he seemed to have just woken up, and his voice was very deep and low.

Alright, you're too ruthless.

"I'm in so much pain, if you don't come soon, we'll have to have dinner without you," I shouted.

"Oh, that won't do. I'll have to pay a fine," he replied as rustling sounds of him getting dressed came from the other end of the line. "Is your spare key still in the usual place at your home?"

"Yes, it is. Hurry up."

"Okay."

He hung up the phone.

Looking at the extinguished screen, although I was in so much pain that I burst into tears, I couldn't help but secretly rejoice.

"James is still very concerned about me."

In less than ten minutes, James rushed over with a bird's nest hairstyle because he had just woken up, and his shirt was upside down.

I lay on his broad back, groaning in pain and unable to resist boasting, "James, seeing you so concerned for me, I could die without any regrets. But don't worry. For you, I will hold on."

"Can you not expose your love-struck mind? I'm afraid I'll develop a murderous intent."

James was panting and sweating from exhaustion on the seventh floor of the stairs. His sweat dripped onto the back of my hand that was wrapped around his neck.

My heart was filled with some kind of emotion. When I spoke, I sounded like I was crying. "James, you have no idea how good you are."

"I know, but you shouldn't be so love-struck."

His tone was colder than usual.

Thinking of the day of his birthday, when he went to the nightclub to have fun, I pondered over the words and carefully asked, "James. Do you have a girlfriend?"

He quickly turned around and said, "Behave yourself."