1 Meeting a ROB

"So you are telling me I'm dead and that you are a random omnipotent being who has decided to reincarnate me"

"Yes that is indeed what is happing"

The cheery man who looks like a mix between Morgan Freeman and Santa Claus said

"But why tho?"

"Well, you see I am despite what people claim not all-seeing and almighty because free exists."

"But couldn't yo-"

"Yes I could indeed use my *Divine* brain to calculate what people might do but that gets boring fast and besides like I said freewill makes every prediction almost pointless as it will never be accurate when Freewill is involved"

"Okay, then will you at least tell me why you are gonna reincarnate me?"

"Well my friend it is simply because I want to do nothing more nothing less"

"You're not reincarnating me for a mission or something"

"Nope was just bored and wanted to reincarnate someone and give them a few wishes"

At the mention of wish, I could feel my eyes sparkle with anticipation.....

"Holy crap why are my eyes sparkling, and how do I know my eyes are sparkling???"

"Well that would be because you are in soul form because you have been deacidified, granted a soul isn't *complete* without a body so your emotions and everything are both dulled and heightened to such a degree that your emotions can have a semi-physical effect on an area around you"

Feeling the sparkle start to disappear I understand a little bit but I want to know more so I ask

"Well, how did I know they were sparkling?"

"Oh well, that would be due to your wishes."

"Wait but I haven't asked for them yet?"

"No you did but then you told me to make you forget about them and to give you this note."

The woman? who now for some reason looks like a mixture of jesus christ and *Athena Faris?* wait why did I think he looked like a Porn star, handed me a note that in very dramatic handwriting read

*'HAHAHAHHAHA Get racked loser I made us a wish that turned us into a girl HAHAHAHAHAHA Fuck you for getting ran the fuck over by a stupid fucking school bus full of children you traumatized. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA'*

Deadpaning at the note I lamented my fate that I forced upon myself 'No you know what fuck me'

"Yeah, you probably wanna read the other side now...."

The fuck you me-

*'FUCK ME no no Fuck me'*

"What a fucking asshole"

"Need I remind you that you are said asshole?"

"What I can't be held responsible for asshole me he was past me"

"yeah you said you'd say that then I was supposed to tell you fuck you and I quote 'you don't deserve to give anyone dicking for traumatizing children' then send you off to your new life without giving you time to respond"

Then before I could even move my mou--