Merciless Rant

Peaceful times? Did I ever have such a time?

A time for myself in which I could smile at the passing clouds and admire the twinkling stars?

I don't believe so.

So if I was asked to reminiscent I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to.

This is a dream. But it isn't a flashback, it's a lucid dream.

Here, I can do whatever I wish. But I don't wish for anything, especially not in a fake reality.

Well… I guess ice cream isn't bad. I remember when I first had some. My mother had taken me and my sister along with her friends to an ice cream shop. The atmosphere between the women was rather lively at the time so I remember it vividly.

I remember tasting the plain vanilla ice cream for the first time and feeling as if it was the best thing I had ever tried. Every kid loves sugar, right? Looking back, it was actually kind of watery. I wouldn't recommend that store to anybody.

Did they close down? I don't know. I don't think I had ice cream again since.

Hmmm….

I might have bought some for my brother. It even had sprinkles. Ah, yes! It was soon after getting my first paycheck,

Huh, I guess everyone can find happy memories if they try. My thoughts were interrupted as the scenery of my dream changed. It was a blurry place.

"Dan!" I heard a yell.

"Hey! Keep it together! It's going to be alright!" But something was odd.

The voice was strange. Unrecognizable. Where was I?

"You had an anxiety attack, are you feeling better?" The scene became clear. It was a gym. Highschool?

"Yes, Coach" I answered as I surveyed my surroundings.

I was confused. Was I not dreaming then? Or was the lucidity an illusion in of itself? So I was dreaming but I tricked myself into thinking I was in control of the dream when all along it wasn't the case? But the lucidity was actually not false since my reasoning and deduction are clearly present. The only truth was that my dream was indeed a dream but a dream beyond my control.

...

"Woah!" I exclaimed as I sat up with troubled breathing. I made various huffs and puffs before I became overcome by confusion.

"I'm back…" It was a weird dream, to say the least. More importantly, however…

I looked around. It was dark. Of course, that didn't really matter. I was inside a tent and covered up in a simple bed sheet. I hastily removed it and saw my legs.

They were fine. If anything a bit uncomfortable. I then remembered about my arm. I examined it. It had a couple of black spots, dead skin…? I didn't think so.

The only thing I knew for sure was that it had previously mutated since it was the direct insertion point of the mutational energy. It would be wise to use both hands next time. Maybe even rest it on my lap at the same time.

I'd have to watch out for my third hand though, it wouldn't be funny if that mutated.

If I could derive a conclusion from this experience it was not to be too greedy. Gobbling everything at once was not wise. It wasn't like I had any pressure pushing me to take such risks.

Hm...

That's it. I still felt rather apathetic…

I laid there in silence for a couple more seconds listening to the flickering campfire before finally getting up to leave my tent. My legs felt sore but that was already a considerable plus since I'd imagined it was previously beyond simple medical attention.

Once I walked out, I saw none other than Hawk tending to the fire by curiously poking around a bit. Night watch had fallen on him. I wasn't sure if that was premeditated or not but it was certainly a good thing for me as I could get a recap of the overall situation.

I walked over and sat next to a free chair.

"Hey" My grade had gone up so my presence had likely become much thinner. I needed to make myself be known.

"What the fuc-?!" Hawk nearly screamed in surprise and fell sideways. The chair couldn't support his weight and fell alongside him.

"F*cking damn it, tsk" Hawk wore a furious expression as he swore. It was the most emotion I had gotten out of him so far.

"Do-" I was going to ask for some information but…

"Shut up! Selfish piece of sh*t" He swore at me!?!? Not only did he cut me off but, he swore at me?!? I wasn't livid. At most I found him a bit rude but still… It caught me off guard for sure.

"You like f*ckers cleaning up after you? Your leadership sucks ass!" Hawk was not letting me off tonight. It had to be due to pent up frustrations.

"I had to carry your limp body back to camp because your dumbass doesn't have common sense. Did you come here by yourself or something!? And hey! The first thing you say..." Hawk continued with his irate rant. All I long I carried a confused yet understanding expression.

I could understand his ire. Yes, I would be angry if someone younger than me was put in charge of my safety and my friend's safety. If they showed themselves capable there would be no problem but… I did prove I was capable, but not a capable leader.

I scratched my head awkwardly at this point. This distinction was a necessary one to make but I couldn't help but feel awkward after thinking back to what I 'learned' at the tent.

I learned nothing. It took a justly rant to get me to seriously consider learning something from the entire situation.

"I understand" I thus answered almost robotically.

Yeah, I understood.

Hawk's furious expression froze. The words that were coming out of them also froze. He turned to look at me with pure bewilderment.

"You- You understand???" He asked me blinkingly.

"I am not cut out to be a leader" I answered frankly.

It was best for me to maintain a cooperative relationship with the other members from now on. Keeping a position of equal fit me best as I was clearly not suited for working well with others.

A lone wolf…? Was that the correct term?

"You really did understand…" Hawk muttered and as he stood up from the ground and propped his chair to sit on.

There was still silence following his mutter as I sat gazing at the tall grass and the night sky that accented it.

"I misjudged you" Hawk admitted after a while.

I wonder if Kaiser had foreseen any of these circumstances… I wouldn't say he was a prophet or anything of the sort but he was indeed rather aloof and unfathomable at times.

Regardless, I could confidently say that nearly getting mangled by the Spear Bison was not without its benefits.