A Heavy Feeling Called Silence

I couldn't believe what I was hearing from right now from Micah.

No….. It can't be, who would do such a cruel thing to my friend, 'she's more than a friend you know, she's more like your sister now' I inwardly scolded myself.

I feel so guilty, for not being a reliable friend and sister to Sarah, for not being there when she needed me most. She probably needed someone to talk too or cry too like on the night of the sleepover but I there I was, way in over my head with boy issues.

'What'd you think the afterlife will be like Ann?' I remembered she asked one starry night staring into space with a looming sadness in her eyes, I was taken aback and wondered if it was a rhetorical question but answered anyway, 'I really think only the dead would know that seeing as I am clearly alive and not dead yet which will probably be in 400 years' time' I snorted to which she let out a little chuckle.

'But seeing as we haven't heard cases of people coming back from the dead it must be very peaceful up there with no suffering, pain or sorrow unless they're just being reincarnated into this crazy world again probably as animals, nature or humans again if lucky'

'If I die today I wouldn't want to be reincarnated again into this hell hole. I'd rather be up there with the peacefulness you talked about for all eternity.' I thought I saw a stray tear fall from her eyes but I just brushed it off as night hallucinations.

And now she really had less than a day to live unless the surgery went well. I looked towards Jake, I really don't know his relationship with Sarah, she rarely gave away anything that had to with her personal life but I guess their relationship was deep enough to make him look like he just saw something more than a ghost probably a dragon of myth.

When Micah finally let us know what situation Sarah was in and what led to her being in that situation also that she may not make it before the day come to an end, Jake became hysterical, yelling, crying and begging to be let in to see her, to be there for her, to tell her what it was he wanted to tell her before all this happened, with Dom and Micah keeping him in place he finally let a resound sigh as he leaned on the wall proceeding to slump onto the floor letting out fits of humorless laughter which soon turned into loud wails of sobbing with his face buried in the palm of his hands, muttering words of regret.

I turned to hide my face deeper into Adonis chest with my hands painfully clutching unto his shirt not wishing to recall such memories any more. He may have noticed my discomfort because his hands that were currently wrapped around my shoulder suddenly tightened in a comforting manner.

I hadn't said a word since I saw Sarah slum right before my eyes on our doorstep , it was that shocking. The guys may think of me as weak and whatnot but I don't care, it is the only I can express what I am feeling right now asides the random shedding of tears.

I had trying screaming it all out especially when I saw her slumped figure on our doorstep, I tried talking, I had even tried putting on other facial expressions asides the neutral feature I got going on right now but it just seemed like I had no strength left in me anymore, like my mind, feelings and emotions had been shut down. I could still hear everything going on around me, I just didn't know how to react to it anymore.

RIIIINGGG…. RRRRIIINNNGGG….. RRRIINNNNGG...

I wondered whose phone that was until I felt Adonis stirring besides me to reach into his pockets for phone hurriedly, he didn't leave my side though as he rushed to answer whoever was on the other side of the phone. It was an important call from what I could make out probably his supposed connections had already found a lead on who pulled this kind of trick on my sister.

"Yes… that's great, good work guys, I'll be on my way now" was all I could make out before he gently moved his arm from shoulder making me miss the warmth that came with it before he made me gently sit on my own this time.

"They found her father hiding in an illegal underground pub, gambling his life away as well as messing around with whores and I'm heading there right now."

Jake made to stand on his feet before declaring "I'm coming with you to teach that useless excuse of a father a lesson he'll never forget" but before he could take a step towards Adonis,

"You can't go with him Jake, you're honestly not fit to be stepping out right now, much less for a fight. Let Adonis handle this one besides the doctor might need you anytime soon"

"Dominic is right Jake, leave this one to me and besides I have Ezekiel with me there, he already went ahead to get a scope of the situation." He made a move to leave before stopping suddenly, I wondered why…. Maybe he still had something more to say until I realized I was holding onto his hands unknowingly.

I made to move my hands from their grip on him slightly embarrassed as that was the only movement I had made since today but the grip on my own hands suddenly turned tighter as I was pushed into a hug, him hugging my head gently onto his tummy before placing a warm tingling kiss on my forehead.

"I'll be back doll, don't beat yourself up too much" he lightly whispered before proceeding to leave.

I felt a bit guilty though as I wondered what Kai would think seeing Adonis acting so intimately towards me but that thought quickly and quietly dissipated just as it came quickly and quietly. That thought wasn't something I wished to dwell on seeing as I had bigger worries on my poor little mind. I really hope she makes it through as I can't start to imagine what I'll do if she doesn't make it through.

I quietly prayed the Lord's prayer in my habit, a habit some people like myself have made when they find their selves in a particular sticky or bad situation such as this. My dad often scolded me for making a habit of not praying unless I was in danger. 'That's bad Diane….. really bad' he'd always say, 'one day the Lord might not just heed to your prayers anymore for being the biggest hypocrite alive'

I really hope today wasn't the day He would stop paying heed to my prayers even if it's just for today.

After waiting a few more hours, the doctor finally made an appearance without changing from her surgical attire which shows she didn't delay coming to us after the operation was finally done taking place, her face looking downcast with frown lines on her forehead keeping everyone on their toes only to imagine the worst.

My stomach doing back flips and unwelcomed jittery feelings crawling through my spine like ants, I definitely had the urge to go pee as I thought the worst, we had already lost most of what we had of daylight with less than 3 hours left till midnight. According to the doctor she may not make it before the end of the day and the facial expression on the doctor on the doctor's face wasn't really helping the negative pouring in my mind like heavy rain.

"What is wrong doctor?" I didn't notice how everyone had surrounded the poor doctor with Jake's question bringing me back to reality though his question was only met with silence and a long sigh.

"Tell me doc! Is…i…is she dead?" he asked in a resigned whisper, a question that has been eating at my mind and heart for quite some time now.

"Nn-NO! not at all, if anything the surgery went perfectly fine. Miss Andrew life is out of danger"

A group of collective sighs fill the air

"But the bad news is that she fell into a coma due to the heavy trauma and weakness of her body, nobody knows how long it'll take for her to wake up, maybe days, months or years…. It honestly depends on the strong will of her mind and health of her body. Currently she's lacking that strong will."

A gasp was heard and it took another gasp for me to know I was struggling to breathe as my chest tightened and it felt like I was choking on my own breath as hot tears fell heavily from my eyes.

"Ann? Ann! DIANE!!"

It's all my fault, if I was a good friend and watched over or protected her well enough this wouldn't have happened.

"ANN! Ann calm down, you're alright… please just calm down" Someone kept me in a tight embrace and that was all I heard and felt before I finally succumbed to the darkness.

Definitely silence was a heavy feeling as well.