Chapter 173: Tabula Rasa (1)
Tabula Rasa: From Latin, meaning 'blank slate', it often refers to the idea of starting fresh, without any preconceptions, biases, or prior knowledge.
Greg McMahon placed his suitcase carefully at the bottom of the luggage pile, waiting for it to be picked up and loaded onto the Hogwarts Express. Most of his classmates were already in front of the castle, chattering excitedly, but he lingered behind, savouring a moment of solitude. Going home for the holidays was a welcome change, and he looked forward to being back in his room, painting or reading in peace.
A sudden burst of noise announced the arrival of their transportation to Hogsmeade. With a deep, steadying breath, the young aristocrat prepared himself mentally for the noisy trip to London. His family name came with certain unavoidable "perks," including people's relentless curiosity about his life and the constant stream of would-be "friends." The insincerity of it all grated on him. Many of these so-called friends were transparent in their ambitions, but there were always a few who had, to his dismay, hidden their motives well. It stung to realise that people he'd thought of as genuine companions often had agendas of their own.
At times, he envied Catherine. She had her own challenges, certainly, but at least she didn't have to question the loyalty of those around her. Though he didn't particularly approve of the boys —who, for reasons he'd never quite understood, couldn't stand him—at least they didn't care about their family's influence or wealth. Greg had thought Hogwarts would be a reprieve from these games, a break from the alliances and schemes he would have faced at the Academy, but alas, his family's status was inescapable. The one small mercy was that at Hogwarts, he didn't have to constantly navigate the manipulations of people like Adrian Borealis' insufferable sons.
With a resigned sigh, the fifth-year finally turned toward the waiting carriages. Just then, a sharp tug on his sleeve made him jump. Catherine stood there, rolling her eyes before yanking him into a recessed alcove, out of sight of the passing students.
"Come to say goodbye to your big brother?" – Greg asked with a grin that only widened as he noticed his sister's frown.
"Yeah, right." – she snapped, folding her arms impatiently – "Getting ahold of you has been nearly impossible these past few days."
"I've been busy wrapping things up before the holidays." – the boy replied, his smile fading as he realised the conversation he'd been dreading was about to unfold.
"Don't play dumb with me, Gregory Lloyd McMahon!" – the young witch hissed, struggling to keep her voice down – "You did your best to dodge me, I'll give you that. But you can't avoid me forever."
"Alright, alright—no need to get all fired up." – Greg smirked, taking a deep breath.
"Funny." – Catherine shot back, visibly trying to rein in her frustration – "What were you thinking? After that whole speech about how amazing Lily was and how much you liked her, you just... toss her aside? I didn't think you'd be that kind of guy."
"What kind of guy?" – Greg's blue eyes flashed dangerously.
"The kind who chases after a girl until he gets her, only to lose interest and move on to the next one." – his siter replied mercilessly.
"You have no idea what you're talking about." – the boy spat, his tone sharp – "I'm not interested in trying to score with every pretty girl in school. My name's not Sirius Black after all."
"If you're trying to rile me up so I'll back off, you'll need a better strategy." – Catherine gave him a satisfied look as he let out a low, frustrated growl – "And 'I think you're wonderful, but I've moved on' doesn't sound like you. I can't believe Lily fell for that."
"What was I supposed to say?" – Greg snapped, his blue eyes clouded with sorrow and defeat – "That I don't want her getting hurt again by some psychopathic pure-blood freaks? That I'm scared Borealis or another House might try to use her to get to me, only to discard her once she's no longer useful? I like her a lot, Flame, but more than anything, I want to keep her safe. It's better if she thinks I'm a jerk, and we both go our separate ways before things get too serious."
"That's beyond ridiculous, Greg!" – Catherine threw her arms up in exasperation – "Whether Lily's with you or not, it won't stop anyone from targeting her just because she's Muggle-born. Instead of standing by and protecting her, you're just leaving, hoping that'll keep her safe? I really don't understand your reasoning."
"I'm not asking you to understand." – the young lord replied softly – "And I don't expect Lily to forgive me, either. She deserves someone better—someone who can dedicate his entire life and soul to her, and that's not me. I'm the McMahon heir, with responsibilities I can't abandon for her sake. Besides… I doubt I could ever give my whole heart to anyone."
"Why would you say that?" – the black-haired girl exclaimed, taken aback. Her brother had always been caring and affectionate; it was hard to understand why he'd say such nonsense all of a sudden.
"It doesn't matter." – Greg forced a sad smile – "I need to go or I'll miss the train."
The boy turned and hurried toward the carriages, only to pause after a few steps and glance back. Catherine stood in front of the alcove, her green eyes filled with worry. The sight made his chest tighten. In a swift move, the wizard returned and pulled his sister into a tight hug. After a moment, he let go, giving her a warm smile despite her grim expression.
"Don't worry, kiddo. I'm going to be fine." – he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead – "Don't overdo it with Occlumency, and give Nyx a good belly rub."
Catherine watched him, puzzled, as he sprinted toward the departing carriages. 'Why did he mention Nyx at all?' – she wondered, turning back toward the castle. Lost in thought, the young witch failed to notice the dark figure watching them from the opposite side of the courtyard.
***
Lily Evans lay on her bed in the empty Gryffindor girls' dormitory, too weighed down by sadness to even think about getting dressed. Gwyneth and Mary had left for the Easter break, and Catherine was likely outside, saying her goodbyes with the boys.
A small relief came from knowing she wouldn't have to face her family or a bustling castle; only a handful of people remained, allowing the fourth-year to endure her breakup in relative peace. The last thing she wanted was to field questions about her mood or endure the shallow sympathy or mocking faces of her classmates. It seemed that, in the end, only Catherine and Severus allowed her to express her true feelings without judgment—though Severus struggled to hide his "I told you so" smirk.
Finally, after turning restlessly in bed for a while, Lily decided hiding away was pointless. She dressed quickly and headed to the nearly empty Common Room, where the best seats lay unclaimed. Settling into her favourite low burgundy armchair with her Transfiguration textbook, the red-headed girl tried to focus but found herself staring blankly at the same page for ten minutes, comprehending nothing.
Suddenly, something soft and weighty landed in her lap, making her nearly squeal in surprise.
"Oh, Nyx!" – the witch giggled in relief, gently scratching the Kneazle behind her ears - "Happy most people are gone, so you can nap wherever you please?"
The creature purred, stretching her agile black body. Lily continued to pet the Kneazle's silky fur, which brought her a sense of peace. Unexpectedly, her fingers brushed against something—a piece of parchment tucked under Nyx's collar. Curiosity getting the better of her, the fourth-year carefully unfolded the note, which contained three short sentences written in elegant, elaborate handwriting:
Don't forget to rest during the spring break. Happy Easter! I love you!
'Was that meant for Daisy?' – Lily wondered, folding the parchment and slipping it back under the Kneazle's collar – 'Is she dating someone? She didn't say a word. And who would dare use Nyx as a messenger? She hates almost everyone.'
Determined to subtly ask her friend about her relationship status without revealing she'd seen the note, Lily left the Gryffindor Tower and headed outside the castle. It seemed the grounds had emptied out, with no students in sight. Taking a leisurely stroll around the Black Lake, the red-headed girl closed her eyes briefly, savouring the fresh spring air. Walking alone helped to clear her mind, and by the time she returned to the castle, she felt noticeably better, debating whether to eat lunch in the Great Hall or take her meal outside.
Her decision was made for her when she spotted Severus Snape emerging from the Entrance Hall, holding what looked like a few sandwiches and some fruit.
"Are those for me?" – Lily asked her friend teasingly.
"If you'd like." – Snape replied, his cheeks flushing slightly – "I wanted us to spend some time together, but I thought you'd be in your Common Room, not in the mood to go outside."
"Why wouldn't I?" – the girl challenged, grabbing a ham and cheese sandwich and taking a bite – "There's no point hiding away, moping over someone who clearly didn't appreciate me."
The Slytherin couldn't suppress his smile. His patience had finally paid off. McMahon breaking up with Lily felt like the best gift he could have asked for, and it was a big part of why he'd chosen to stay at Hogwarts over Easter rather than go home, despite his mother's disappointment.
"You deserve much better." – he said softly, his dark eyes fixed intently on her, searching for any sign of how close he might be able to get to her at that moment.
"Don't even think of starting it!" – Lily snapped, her sharp glare taking the boy by surprise.
"Start what?" – Snape asked, attempting to sound casual.
"You know exactly what I mean." – the witch scoffed – "I'm well aware you never liked Greg, and you've been against our relationship from day one."
"I just care about you too much and didn't want to see you get hurt." – Severus said, trying to smooth things over – "Besides, I was right in the end, wasn't I?"
"Even if you were, there's no reason to be so smug about it." – Lily hissed angrily – "It feels like I'm surrounded by double-faced, despicable people wherever I go. Muggle-born students are being attacked left and right. You've heard what happened to poor Autumn, haven't you? They still haven't caught the perpetrator, but don't try telling me your precious housemates had nothing to do with it! I've been assaulted myself several times, and then I ended up getting used by a fellow Gryffindor. Honestly, compared to that, James Potter isn't so bad. At least the worst he does is act like an annoying prat."
"Yeah to you!" – Snape growled, his black eyes burning with resentment – "I could tell you plenty about how 'nice' and 'harmless' Potter and his friends really are. You can't trust people like them, Lily! When are you going to understand that we only have each other?"
"That's a pretty depressing thought." – the red-headed girl laughed, ignoring the hurt that flashed across the wizard's face – "It's true that James and the boys are arrogant and mean to some people, but frankly, I don't see much of a difference between them and Avery or Mulciber."
"The difference is that Avery and Mulciber don't consider it their favourite pastime to hex me in the corridors!" – the Slytherin snapped, his irritation flaring.
"Are you sure?" – Lily shot back – "I know you hate hearing it, but your housemates treat you horribly, Sev. And you don't deserve it. You're loyal and kind, and you should have real friends—people you can actually trust. Like I am with Daisy, for example."
"That just shows how naïve you are." – the boy retorted with a grim smirk.
"Oh, here we go again!" – the red-headed girl rolled her eyes – "I get your feud with Potter and the rest, but you and Catherine have more in common than you think. If you two could stop trading insults every time you see each other, you might actually become friends."
"I'd rather eat a jar of Bubotuber pus." – Severus said daringly – "And I'm not talking about me and Plantier—I'm talking about you and her. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's better you know now than later. Your so-called friend has been sneaking around the castle, making out with your ex-boyfriend."
"What?!" – Lily gasped, the apple slipping from her fingers before she could take a bite – "That is such a disgusting lie, Severus Snape! How can you spread baseless rumours like that without any shame?!"
"I saw them with my own eyes!" – the wizard insisted, refusing to back down – "Less than an hour ago, they were hiding in that alcove over there, doing Merlin knows what. When they came out, he kissed her and then left to catch the train."
"He kissed her?" – Lily repeated, disbelief etched on her face – "Like on the lips?"
"Well…" – Snape hesitated briefly – "No, on the forehead but you should have seen how intimate they were with each other. And she was furious at him for some reason a few weeks ago when she encountered McMahon practicing elemental magic with his father. A lover's quarrel would have explained that."
"I thought Greg was practicing late at night?" – Lily's voice grew suspicious – "How did you even see them?"
"It doesn't matter." – the Slytherin replied quickly, deflecting the question to avoid mentioning his arrangement with Lucius – "What matters is that I saw them, and I'm sure this has been going on for a while. They were obviously flirting—probably dating behind your back."
"I don't believe you!" – the red-headed girl shouted, her face flushed with anger. She turned and stormed back into the castle, leaving Severus standing alone, questioning if his desire to expose Plantier's betrayal had cost him more than he was willing to pay.