Chapter 148: When Snow Covers the Mud (1)

At the edge of the ancient, dark forest stood a shabby village house, its appearance reflecting years of neglect and hardship. The stone walls, once sturdy, were crumbling in places, with patches of mortar missing and the surface mottled with grime and creeping vines. The roof was a haphazard mess of uneven, weather-beaten thatch, some areas reinforced with old boards that did little to keep out the biting December winds.

The small windows were grimy and clouded with dirt, their cracked panes allowing drafts to seep in, making the interior even more inhospitable. The door, a heavy slab of rough, splintered wood, hung slightly askew on rusted iron hinges, creaking ominously in the cold breeze.

The garden—if it could be called that—was a tangled mess of overgrown weeds and brambles, with no sign of life save for the occasional skeletal tree. A decrepit wooden fence, nearly collapsed in several places, loosely encircled the property, opening to the murky, ghostly forest beyond.

Lone snowflakes began to fall from the grey sky as a tall boy, dressed in old Muggle jeans and a thin jacket, crossed the road and opened the door. The house was dark and silent, but this was nothing new in the Lupin household. Lyall Lupin worked long hours, often returning home after midnight. Remus had suspected for a while that his father was purposefully avoiding spending too much time in the house, which held his worst memories.

The fourth-year carried his worn suitcase to his cold bedroom on the second floor. He moved slowly, trying to delay the inevitable moment when he would have to check on his mother's whereabouts. Entering the dark living room, his gaze fell upon a small, dusty portrait hanging on the wall. The round, childish face of Caelia Lupin still beamed from the black-and-white picture, where she clutched her favourite ragdoll. As always, Remus felt a tightness in his throat, as though he were being choked. In recent years, returning home had become more burdensome, and he would have given anything to join his friends in celebrating Christmas at the Potters'.

Unfortunately, the full moon was only a day away, and he could already feel violent tremors occasionally rippling through his body. Because of his cursed condition, the boy was destined to spend yet another holiday wandering through the dark woods that bordered their house. He glanced out the window at the deserted backyard, beyond which the high crowns of ancient trees loomed like dried, black hands desperately reaching for the sky. Remus remembered how much he had once admired those trees as a child, dreaming of finding a secret door at their roots that would lead to a magical world of pixies and forest spirits hidden inside the trunks. But that was before he realised that those same trees concealed unimaginable horrors.

Reflecting on that fateful night so many years ago, Remus was certain he had seen a pair of yellow eyes in the darkness of the woods, though he had dismissed it as a figment of his imagination. The next thing he remembered was the piercing, agonising pain in his shoulder and the sound of Caelia's screams. They didn't last long, but inevitably became a constant source of nightmares for the young wizard. After returning from the hospital, his life had changed forever. He had cried and begged his father not to leave him alone in the forest during the full moon, but his pleas had fallen on deaf ears.

Remus shuddered involuntarily, the memory of his first transformation flashing through his mind, causing his heart rate to spike and a bitter taste to rise in his mouth. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and stepped into the spacious yet filthy kitchen of the house. So close to the full moon, he didn't need much light—his sight was growing unusually sharp. He immediately spotted the dark figure sitting slumped on a chair behind the big, roughly-cut wooden table, her head resting on it.

"Mom?" – Remus called out hoarsely – "Are you sleeping?"

Hope Lupin slowly lifted her head, struggling to focus her bloodshot amber eyes on her son. Her clumsy, stiff movements caused a few empty bottles to topple and shatter on the floor with a loud bang.

"You've returned." – she stated quietly, her tone void of emotion – "There's not much to eat. You can catch something in the forest, can't you?"

"Not really." – Remus replied flatly, trying to ignore the thinly veiled insult from the woman who seemed to enjoy comparing him to an animal. A sad smile tugged at his lips as he realised how difficult it was becoming to recall the time when his mother had been loving and attentive.

"Well, too bad, because I doubt your dad's coming home tonight." – the woman shrugged, attempting to stand – "His job pays even less than the last one. We still haven't recovered all the gold we wasted on your school stuff."

"What do you mean, 'wasted'?" – the young wizard asked icily – "We didn't buy anything new or excessive. I'm fortunate my friends were kind enough to help me with robes…"

"Hah!" – Hope barked a sarcastic laugh – "Some friends you've got… I suppose you don't look that bad nowadays, so the rich kids might enjoy having you around as a pet. But don't get too proud—they'll run the second they find out about the evil inside you."

"Are you high again?" – Remus asked, supressing his anger. The way his mother spoke, her aggressive and abusive tone, suggested she had taken something quite strong. He closed his eyes, concentrating on his sense of smell. Immediately, he detected a sickly sweet aroma coming from a few white flowers soaking in a small cauldron near the fireplace.

"What's this?" – he asked quietly, gesturing towards the plants.

"Nothing." – the witch replied nervously, clumsily reaching for the potion before her son could get to it. In her haste, she tripped, knocking a box off the mantel. A handful of syringes and needles scattered across the filthy floor.

Silence settled heavily in the dark room. Remus stared blankly at the contents of the box, feeling a strange numbness inside.

"So, now you're using Moonshade Bloom, aren't you?" – he asked calmly – "Despite all the promises you made to come clean, to stop snorting Gleamroot Crystals. And now, you've started using something even stronger? I can see why Dad doesn't stay home for more than five minutes. Why are you such a mess?"

"How dare you talk to your mother like that?!" – the witch screamed angrily – "You know nothing about how much I suffer. I did cut back on Gleamroot, but during this time of the year, I need something to get me through. I know what I'm doing."

"Doesn't seem that way." – Remus mumbled softly, fighting back his tears – "I've told you before, let's ask for help at St. Mungo's. Maybe they have some kind of free treatment they can offer you."

"There's nothing free in this life, son." – Hope laughed grimly – "Even the things your rich pure-blood friends give you aren't free. You'll learn that soon enough. You've always been so weak, it makes me sick."

"What do you want, Mom? – the boy asked wearily – "The Light knows I don't expect any help from you or Dad. I'll spend Christmas as a beast in the woods, only to wake up confused and filthy in some cold place outside rather than safe and warm in my own bed. But somehow, you always manage to make it about you and your problems."

"What do I want?" – the woman chuckled hysterically, rocking herself back and forth – "I want my daughter back! I wish you had died instead of my little Caelia!"

Remus looked at the woman who was once his loving mother. This wasn't the first time he had heard such terrible words from her. Sometimes, he even suspected his father felt the same way. For years, he had believed that his very existence was nothing but a burden to his parents. In the past, he spent days curled up in his room, begging for some higher power to let him die. But this time, it was different. In his mind, he saw the faces of his friends—James' laughter, Sirius' jokes, Peter's constant shenanigans, and Catherine's gentle smile. It was as if their warmth enveloped him, shielding him from the darkness around him.

"I already know this." – he said firmly – "But I deserve to live just as much as Caelia did, and I'm going to make sure I do."

With that, Remus turned away and stepped out of the house, choosing to take a long walk in the fresh, untouched snow that fell softly around him.