With This Ring

Sifting through the personal belongings of her late commanding officer was not something Belfast was keen on doing. But it's not like she had a choice now.

She could only guess what the young master wanted to find from the seemingly mundane assortment of smoking pipes and books and other miscellany or why he did.

Perhaps he wanted something to remember him by. Or maybe something to help him understand for one last time. They had been close, then drifting apart over the years, and became closer again, perhaps more than ever, in the Admiral's last days. 

And Belfast would do her best for their sake.

The young master, now a Commander himself, had a small smile as he found a photo.

"Oh look, turns out he still had this."

She hardly changed compared to herself in the picture, but the kid in it certainly had, to a fashion. He had gotten taller and his shoulders broader, but the generous smile tinged with no small amount of mischief remained, as did the forthright gaze. It was almost the mirror image of the Admiral's younger self.

But despite his clear fondness for it, the Commander soon put it away. It wasn't what he was looking for. But Belfast appreciated the reminder.

"You know, I could still remember you and Edinburgh coming into his office once in a while with some snacks. And he would drop everything he was working on. Well, to be fair, I did too."

Belfast's cheeks turned red, and she bowed her head.

"Oh my, so you remembered..."

"Of course. I had always thought you two were too pretty for your own good even back then, and I couldn't forget that. But I'm sure you already know that. The whole fleet seems to agree, after all."

"We are simply fulfilling our duty, sir," her blush deepened, and the Commander chuckled.

"Yeah. Which is why I went to the Royal Naval College. The old man didn't even need to ask. Anyway...Are you not curious?"

"Of what, if I may ask?"

"Why are we doing this?"

"I...It's not my place to question that, sir."

"You really haven't changed, have you?"

"I don't see the need to, sir."

"Hm, alright, then. It's not like you need to."

The Commander returned to rummaging through the drawers, occasionally mumbling.

"You know, Dad told me a lot of things before he died," he said. "Not his exploits as an officer because I grew up hearing about them. Or the people he served with because I knew most of them."

When he found a sealed, worn envelope from among the files, his expression changed into relief, but there was some kind of melancholy there.

"Even the most honest person could have something they couldn't bring themselves to speak about."

As he spoke and her breath held, the Commander tore the envelope open, his countenance vacant—at least until a ring fell into his open palm. Belfast recognized it right away as a Claddagh ring, with an emerald adorning the heart in its center. And that was the only thing the envelope contained.

"Oh…Is that…the Admiral's wedding ring?"

She wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. The Admiral had never worn his. He had never been quite the same since he became a widower—when he was too young to be one, in her opinion. But it was heartening to see that her devotion and presence had eased the pain of those left behind. 

The Commander regarded and cradled the trinket instead of answering, a moment of pensiveness so rare she had forgotten the last time she saw it.

And that worried her a little. Always, when things turned out to be not so simple.

"This one wasn't for Mum…this was for…you."

Upon the revelation, Belfast could feel her face growing warmer and her chest taut and her heartbeat faster, the pace like a ratcheting storm. 

"...For me?" she finally found it in her to speak.

"Yes. He said he had intended to give this to you. But he ended up deciding not to. Maybe he was ashamed. Maybe he didn't want things to change. Maybe he was just afraid. Maybe it was all of them."

"Sir...I..."

"That's not all he told me. He had one last piece of advice for me. To never repeat his mistake. If you are certain of your feelings, then act on it."

Before she could fathom it, he was already closing the distance between them.

"It's emerald. One of its meanings is faithfulness. Growing up without a mother was hard, but you've always been there, Belfast. And that meant a lot to me, just like it did to Dad. And just like him, I've kept it to myself."

"Commander, I...I'm not worthy—"

"This is not a matter of 'maid' and 'master.' You've been more than just a maid. A motherly figure, then a sister…then…someone I want to be with."

"But we...we are..."

"I'm aware of that. I'm aware that I will grow old and you will remain as you are. But I don't want to harbor regrets like Dad. Because you know what? The regret for not doing something when you have the chance is a terrible one, far beyond anything else."

He was so close now that their heartbeat could mingle into a single, terrible discord. Yet he was solely focused on her.

"So here is the thing, Belfast. I want you to have this ring, not because of the old man's feelings. But mine. I know it's selfish of me. But please, I ask of you, accept it."

She had expected him to slip the ring into her finger. After all, it was pretty much a proposal already. But he didn't. He simply placed it on her palm and closed her fingers around it.

"I have faith in you, Belfast."

With that, he left.

Belfast remained there, staring at the ring and knowing there was no turning back. He would be waiting for an answer, and whatever her answer would be, it would change everything.

But it's not like she would need to think for one. She knew what she felt and wanted, the emotions she kept suppressed and out of sight out of courtesy—but especially, her own worries.

But he had been honest, and it's just fair she did the same.

After all, knowing his feelings had made everything less worrying now.

So she slipped the ring onto her right ring finger, its heart facing inward.

It wasn't exactly a perfect fit, but it was perfect in many other ways. It felt almost weightless, just like her entire being right now.

And her own feelings were sure and set like the stone it harbored.