Chapter 105 - No Future

"So, what's the problem with feeling attraction?" Juliet started.

"The age difference, for once," Jacob rebuked immediately.

"Your body is 15 years old, and mine is 16. So I should be more worried than you about the age difference, not the other way around."

Jacob shook his head.

"You know better than me that it's not about my body. It's about the fact that I lived much, much longer than you, Juliet."

"Jake, you lived pretty much longer than anybody else in this world. And you sometimes behave like a complete idiot nonetheless," Juliet's words were half-joking, half-serious.

Jacob knew that if he had to find someone his own age, someone capable of understanding what he went through, he would be a fool. No one would be even close enough to his real age to have a basic understanding of how he thought and acted.

"I can understand you, Jacob. You share the deepest bond – your words – with me. The Ancestral Bond makes it possible for me to understand you even better than anyone else would. I may not always agree with you, but I do understand. And no, don't even think about it. I don't resent you using the Ancestral Bond on me for a second. You saved my life."

"You shouldn't be with me just because I saved your life, Juliet. I don't own your life, nor I am entitled to take away a romance much more suited for your age just because I feel like it."

"I know what you feel like better than you do, you fu**ing idiot," Juliet swore, "and what's this nonsense? A person saves your life, and that doesn't amount to anything? Jacob, are you turning into that little b*tch of Helena? Are these your thoughts or hers?"

I don't know, he grimaced.

He owed everything of his past life to Helena taking care of him. Jacob felt he had a debt impossible to repay. And, having idealized her after her death, he had forced himself to look at the world through the same lens Helena used to. That meant that he had taken on a weird sense of justice, sometimes even without really thinking about it that much.

"Yeah, and what about it, Jake? I say it's ok. Do I not have any agency over my thoughts? Do you feel like imposing your will on me just because the pre-apocalyptic world and Helena think you would do something wrong by having feelings for me? In Italy, a woman can consent to sexual activities from the age of 14; and that's sexual activities. I think you can afford to have feelings for me without considering yourself a pedophile, you fu**ing idiot! And it's not like if you were to accept those feelings, I would fu**ing jump in bed with you right after, you—"

"Juliet, for Christ's sake, you fed me some goddamned blood, and I got the hots for you!" Jacob felt too vulnerable, "I don't know whether I would call these things feelings! It's these stupid teenage body's hormones!"

Juliet's gaze became icy.

"I don't understand how you survived on your own an entire apocalypse and how you think you can lead mankind if you can't even be honest with yourself, Jacob."

Juliet turned her heels and started heading away before she got angry enough to smack the little idiot across his face.

"F*ck! Juliet, wait!" Jacob shouted and started chasing her.

"Go chase that stupid little b*tch, Jacob. I just wanted to free you of any worry you might have. I don't feel like that toward you now, but I am much more open to these feelings than you seem to be. Well, I think this is your preferred outcome, isn't it? Just go away and act like the fu**ing hermit you want to be. If you don't want to carve a place for yourself among humans, why don't you just go among the Dragons you loathe so much. Because that's who you are right now, a Dragon observing and directing humans from above."

"What—" Jacob saw Juliet take off and fly over the forest, away from him.

He stayed like that, frozen in place, for a few minutes.

What the f*ck had just happened?

Is the Ancestral Bond influencing Juliet's maturity? Or has she always been like this?

He tried not to think of the words she had just showered him with.

Maybe the Ancestral Bond is even deeper than what I thought. What if she's gaining insights thanks to it? And if that's the case, it would make sense that she's been getting calmer and more measured thanks to it…

"Did I mess with a power I don't understand?"

Jacob's question hung in the air, with no one capable of answering.

THIS GREAT ONE, THE ROYAL KEVIN, THINKS THAT—

No one.

Jacob felt something running down his cheek and brought a hand to his face. A solitary tear had left a wet streak on it.

Juliet's fu**ing right, isn't she?

Was Jacob acting like a hermit on purpose, taking distances because he was too afraid of messing up the people he loved? Did he deny his own feelings for Juliet and Helena because he believed there was no way to have anything real with them?

What's my future?

Am I going to fight till the end and then disappear? A benevolent tyrant stepping aside and letting the new generations flourish?

That's what Juliet had seen inside of him.

Jacob had been building a future without considering himself, apparently.

What should I do?