Special Chapter - 2 : Failed Redux

Once upon a time, a group of people liked my work and wanted to make a comic out of it, so they asked me to write a chapter which a script could be made of. The project was sadly canned. And I published this shameful and unfunny version of the chapter on the web afterwards.

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A famous philosopher had once said that, "Life is like a riverstream, flowing down a mountain, traversing through all kinds of terrain and overcoming all obstacles until it reached a certain ocean. Where it becomes intertwined with something bigger than itself."

Let me tell you what I think of that quotation. In simpler terms, "Life is the most miserable thing that has happened to you. You are gonna suffer a lot but you will survive. Sounds horrible? Well, there is a ending to all of this. You are gonna die and after you're dead. Well, you're just dead."

Life in all it's glory sucks. Even though people say that every year is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. All I see is re-used content. It's the same people. It's the same area, you have lived in for all of your live. It's the same birthday gift, your cousin gave you last year. Just re-wrapped with gift paper and of another colour. But the same thing nonetheless.

Life is a mind-boggling subject to discuss because of all it's complexities like Cantonese. But when you really think about modern life's absurdities. You bound to get alittle depressed and alitttle humoured.

And you know, what's funny? That I'm thinking about the miserable of living while looking at a bunch of people removing the Christmas ornaments of a tree. While, I'm going to school for the first day of classes of my new school semester. Not so funny? It sounds like hilarious to me.

I was standing before a Christmas tree being dismantled by the city municipality workers. But I quickly I start walking for my school. No one wants to be late on his/her first day of school after all. Even though technically, it's not my first day going to that particular school in my case, it's just another new school semester.

I walked through the city square where, that aforementioned Christmas tree was situated. Where my school was situated, the central ward of the city. Due to being in the centre of the city was heavy on commercial stores and facilities. The main street leading through the ward, both sides of the street was occupied by stores and restaurants. While away from the main street were the residential areas of the ward. Also a quaint fact, the centre of this city is more modern and high-end than the rest of the city. Where it's really industrialised and certain facilities are not available. A victory for capitalism.

I reached the crosswalk. But I was too late to cross. The traffic signal had turned green and the car started moving. I was forced to wait with countless other people for the signal to turn red once again, to pass from this side to the other side.

Soon, the traffic signal turned from green to orange. People lined up to cross the street in a neat row. That would incite a person's phobia of crowds and small spaces. Which I have. And it's fucking terrifying. But good for me, there weren't a lot of adults. Just parents with kindergarten level children. But it's worse. Since kindergarteners are more annoying, considering their cuteness and lack of intellect. But they do make good cute fumbling idiots that people want to videotape and put on the web. And they don't incur the wraith of women, when you intentionally enter the ladies bathroom. Well, good for me, I'm not interested in transforming into a 3 year old for the sole purpose of walking in on beautiful women in the bathroom. But I am interested in walking in on 2D anime girls while they are changing clothes.

After a period of 60 seconds, the traffic signals turned green. And I started crossing, the kindergarteners started running to the other side of the street. Even though the parents told them not to run because they would fall.

But who are kindergarteners to listen? They ran to the other side, one of them slipped and cracked his frontal area of his skull. Nah, I'm just joking. His mother caught him from falling on the pavement. She kneeled before him and patted his head as he was almost on the verge of crying. She said to him with a smile on her, "it's okay. Seichi, mommy is here."

Wait, that kid's name is Seichi? And how was his mother abled to get there in time and catch him from falling, when I saw behind the kids? Super-reflexes and the same name as a yandere victim. I know, the future of this child.

I start walking again.

Before reaching my school, I always encounter the same establishments. You would expect from a area like this. Just beside my school was a large 20 storied building. Which was only for residential from the 4th floor up. Because the first 3 floors were for restaurants and stores. One of these restaurants was Da Signature. It was on the first floor with the name being labelled in bold letters in english, above the pulling doors that lead into the restaurant. And yes, there's a "Da", not a "The". Maybe the restauranteur forgot the basic vowels of the English language or he could have just used the Russian word, 'Da' which means Yeah/Yes. Or maybe the restaurateur got inspired by people on the internet not using the proper forms of adjectives and thought it be a new age kind of cool. Actually, that's not a probability. But a absolute certainty. Seriously, I sometimes really hate hipsters.

And infront of the school was a hospital and it was high end. Mainly, all of it's facilities were for surgical operations and psychological treatment. It also had bacterial research wing. Don't worry, besides the hospital and residential complexes. Everything else is for educational, religious and commercial purposes. Seriously, after my school and the hospital was like a boulevard of schools and colleges. But back to my school.

I enter through the school gate, which had the school name and logo carved on it. The name of my school is the Keijou Institute. Sounds familiar? Well, originality is dead and the author had to pick something. So act like it isn't familiar. It's hard to name something these days, you know. I'm sure. You wouldn't want him to rewrite the whole Web Novel because of this small naming gimmick.

The front of the school was a garden of flowers and greenery. The school building itself was a huge 3 storied building with a adjacent gymnasium. The building was very modern looking, the front of the school looked like what you would get out pouring several tons of cement and concrete.

The frontal courtyard was littered with several plants and a fountain situated in the middle of the path leading to the entrance. I reached the entrance of the school and enter the school lobby. But before I can go any further, I have to change my shoes. From my outdoor shoes to my indoor shoes. It's a Japanese formality. Just a gimmick set in place by the school authority to remind us that even though this school is under a international organisation. We're still citizens of Japan.

Which is kind of stupid, if you think about it. Outside, inside. Whatever the place, our shoes will get dirty anyway. Have those guys even thought about the air pollution? Actually, it's a good plan to sell shoes. Damn, capitalists. Wait, I live a capitalist lifestyle.

I quickly opened my locker to takeout the shoes inside and put the shoes, I wore to here. After changing to my indoor shoes. I proceed to my new classroom. Thankfully, I have been studying here for the last 2 years.

After the shoe lockers, was the main lobby of the school. The lobby floor was furnished with wood. Just at the end of the lobby was a flight of stairs leading to the 2nd floor.

I started walking walking around the lobby, it hasn't changed much in 3 months but there was an extra walkway leading to the courtyard. My new classroom is on the second floor.

I ventured to the staircase, which was visible just after entering the lobby. Not just because of it being in the middle of the wood brazen lobby, but also for the huge glass panel that allowed light into the lobby. The stair divided in to two, with the glass panel in the middle of the two divided flights.

I climbed the stairs to the second floor while gazing at the glass panel, which had portrait that felt like was embroided into the glass. Must be pretty expensive though looking at it, it seems rather very clean like it's clean everyday. The panels where stained with the portrait of Saint Sava. Don't know who he is? Don't worry, his just a dead Serbian orthodox Christian saint. Out of place here? Eh... tell that to the school administration.

I walked up the left side of the divided staircase to the second floor.

The second floor was filled with students, faces old and new. But what the hell, most of them will be empty cutouts. So no point in explaining their purpose and archetypes.

I, without paying to heed to any other person in the hallway. Walked to my classroom, B-4. The sliding doors of the classroom was opened. So I walked in from the back door of the class. There were few students present in the classroom itself. With most just putting their bags in their assigned seating arrangement. My seat arrangement was unintentionally in the middle of the classroom. And I'm supposedly the main character in the story.

I went to my seat. The benches were all arranged into four vertical rows. My bench was in the second row from the first row, which were the seats near the windows.

I put my school bag on my seat. I try seating in it, to see how it feels. I compose my posture and...

"Not bad"

Still these arranged seats are not so comfortable. If only they would let us, select our own seats. But democracy is a very messy thing. So, I wouldn't blame em. But it's good. I didn't get the seat beside the windows. Because that's why the teachers are most focus on. Plus, if you really want to get your chosen seat. Just buy off the student cabinet. They are limitedly corrupt.

Someone approached me from and put his hand on my shoulder.

"So, this is your seat arrangement." A voice said.

I look behind me and it was quite a familiar face. It was Nouta. Nouta in words, I could say a "normal guy". His the most average stereotypical teenager you can ever hope for in teenage comedy.

Though didn't I meet him in chapter 2 of the Web Novel? This is totally rushed character development.

"Yeah. What about you?" I said to him.

"I got third row, front seat. That's not bad. But the worse thing about my seating arrangement is that the other person, I'm seated beside is Akechi." He said to me.

"May you rest in peace, my friend." I said to him.

Akechi Goro, don't know about him?. He was a cameo in the chapter 2 of the Web Novel. The guy's more annoying than 80s action flicks. His good looks and his prince like beheavior has both genders enticed with envy for him. His really fantastic as a person to most people. As me and Nouta aren't the most people. His prince-archetype beheavior is very annoying to say the least . People are..... no wonder, we still have Royalists.

So I feel very sorry for him.

"Yeah. You said it. I'm gonna asked for a new seating arrangement. No way, I'm putting up with him for a whole year." He said to me.

No shortage of people who would love to be seated besides with him. Plus, he has a good academic record.

"So who's seated beside you?" He asked me.

Wait, I didn't check who I was seated beside me. There was a bag on the seat beside mine.

"I don't know. Should I check his bag?" I said to him.

"You better find out who it is. Or you'll regret it later. Well, I better get going or Prince Akechi will come looking and annoy the crap out of you."

Wait, did he just say "Prince Akechi"?

Archetypes are really abundant in this place.

With that said, Nouta went out of the classroom and went to his classroom. Nouta got assigned to B-5. The classroom just besides mine.

The interior of the classroom was really standard. A white board, a orators stand, a place for the teacher to seat and finally seats for the students to sit. Pretty basic stuff for a school. Though you may find blackboards in most developing countries. Heck, some countries in the Anglo-English sphere and such still have blackboards in their classroom.

"So we're seating beside each other, this term."

I think, I'm familiar with that voice. I look infront and it seems that the author is really out for me in this adaptation.

My face almost displayed a face of disgust. But I stopped myself from doing repulsive action because there's no way, I'm getting a new desk assignment. So if you can't defeat them, just join them. The person seated beside me, was Sanji Demguichi

His not a bad guy academically speaking. His a good student, once ran for the school presidency, is good looking, played in the under 10 badminton nationals and lastly his in top 300 of the 1% of geniuses in this country. He may get to attend a Ivy League, thanks to a generous programme for people with a high score in exams. Plus, this internationally funded school. So, his basically in luck.

"Yeah. It seems so. Sanji."

He forwarded his hand to me, to shake hands with me. But I ain't really a "shaking hands" kind of person.

I left him hanging. After a while, it turned kinda awkward. So he retracted his hand. And simply said, "Well, I look forward to working with you."

I really hate that you can't just pick your own seating arrangement. Now, I am bench mates with Sanji, his really annoying guy to me. An extroverted asshole. But his really nice though. Not sociopathic or anything. But around his "types", I stick out like a sore thump or like cat being banged by a dog. Which by the way, doesn't sound that bad of porn title.

"Uh..... sure, man." I said to him, my face turned to be what happens when you talk with someone you loathe but still wanna behave nice with that person.

At that moment, Some of the other classmates came to greet Sanji

"what'cha doing here, Sanji?" One of them said, while putting his hand on Sanji's shoulder.

Oh, boy. Better get out of here.

Smilingly, Sanji replied to him "I'm just talking with.." I get up from my seat before he could finish his sentence and I gently walk out of the classroom before, his reply could turn into a black hole of a conversation that I would be sucked into, forced to participate in it.

I proceeded out of the classroom and into the hall, which was crawling with students. Old mingling with the new and so on.

Some were asking around for directions. Others were getting acquainted. A typical mess on the first day of a new semester. On my first semester here, I was asking around for directions and I found my classroom after I ended up traversing the whole school building. Which happened because I asked the wrong seniors for directions. Those pricks! Those damn motherfucking seniors!

I was being naive then. I thought everyone was kind and altruistic. But I got to learn soon enough after first entered the kingdom of kids. That day, I learned about the cruelty of the human race. A cruelty, just cloaked by society to appear invisible.

Even though I know of society's true nature. I like other people, thought optimistically of other people. But who the fuck was I kidding. Humanity even ruined the Terminator series. And reviling things like the Fate/Stay series got made. Well, pessimism now looks like more a trend to me than a relic. If you ask me, it's like how Nihilism is better than Existentialism. Well, Nihilism is about the belief in life having no meaning. Which is not true for me. Because there is a reason for my existence. That is to entertain you, the reader with my miserable of existence.

I walked aimlessly after leaving my classroom through the crowded hallway, with my arms tucked in my pant pockets. Students grouped in every side and corner.

As I walking pass the stairs, the speakers overhead of me, rang up with a announcement.

"Good morning, everyone! In a few minutes, the opening ceremony will convene. So, please, make your way to the gymnasium for the opening ceremony. If you don't know where the gymnasium is located. Please, ask one of the volunteer's for directions!" , The authoritative announcer on the speaker spoke out. The announcer's voice was one of authority. But it wasn't the voice of a teacher but of a student. A member of the student cabinet to be exact. The school cabinet is responsible for handling events like these after all and the Speaker of the school cabinet or President of the school cabinet as most know it, will deliver his annual speech / monologue along with other important members of the school faculty, including the principle and a few members of the school management committee. It's a boring ceremony. Though the cabinet president's job is to boost morale with a spectacular speech, which would probably written by the competent writer and propagandist of the current regime.

Even in school politics, world politics matter. Same techniques to get elected, same ways to govern. Have you ever seen a "ruthless school dictator"? Well, there's one in this school. His pretty ruthless and the model student of it as well.

With that announcement, everyone in the hallway and classrooms slowly proceeded as instructed to the gymnasium.

I was, standing besides the stair and looking out of the window. I started to go down the flight of stairs after awhile. After several waves of students went down. I proceeded down the stairs as well.

Wave of students ~ 1

Wave of students ~ 2

Wave of students ~ 3

I could not move from my position as if I'd been paralysed and forced to stand at this position to inflict a sense of plot. So I told my inner-self in secret"Can I fucking go down now!"

"Not yet. Stare out of that window", my inner-self replied. It was the voice of no other than my bastard Kami-sama, Author-Sama.

"That's right, I'm your benevolent creator and your my bitch. Wait, did you just call me a bastard?"

"Yes, I did. You filthy egotistical weeboo" (Takeo)

"You know, I have the power of erasing you from existence and create a new character, right?" (Author)

Before my eyes, came a visage of a delete option in a writing software.

"Yo, yo. Oh, great Author-sama. You know, I was just kidding around. I'm grateful for my existence to you. There's no one as great as you. So why don't you put your finger somewhere other than that?" I prayed out to my Author-sama for forgiveness and with sweat dripping down my inner face in midst of my practical destruction.

After a several waves of students had proceeded down the stairs, I gradually went down. And as you know, Teenagers are quite talkative. As I come down from the second floor, I encounter students idling around and talking instead of proceeding to the Gymnasium. But that's to be expected. Plus, the school cabinet and staff are just making last minute checks. The guest would be preparing themselves and faculty members would be going around the classrooms to make sure that no students were bunking out on the ceremony. The opening ceremony would take a couple more minutes to convene.

You know, I'm a Enochlophobic. And in a few minutes, I'm gonna be standing in crowd of almost 1000. That's a fucking catastrophe waiting to happen.

I walked through the first floor, the walls in back of the school building were just glass. Through the glass, you could see the sport track. And in middle of that, a quaint sea of green. Trees also scurried along the the fence that was around the outer back of the gymnasium.

On the internal side of things, students were either jogging along to the gymnasium. Or were checking out their phones.

Damn, should have brought my smart phone along. But on the plus side, I ain't wasting my time on the synthetic side of reality.

I hurried along the marbel floor to the gymnasium, I walked as fast I could through the crowded hall. The way to the gymnasium was one way only. Traffic was tremendous in the hallway.

The only way to enter the gymnasium was a walkway adjacent to the building. The walkway itself, was nothing but a cement built constructed tube, with their being a small fence erected on the side to keep anyone away from jumping over. That was only two years ago. And believe me, we jumped over that way as a shortcut to the track. Young, Dumb and Optimistic or YDO for short. Because we need more useless acronyms for this damn series.

Well, whatever the case, I hurried along the walkway to the gym, rubbing a few shoulders and greeting some on the way. With "Nice to see you too", "Yeah. I'm fine". You know, the whole greeting system in general.

But in the end, I got to my final objective, not of the day but of the hour. To get to the gym. Now, I have acquired another objective. Trying to survive the opening ceremony.

The gymnasium was big and a couple rows of lines were formed. There are over 1000 students in this school. Think about that. Thank god, there are no female students here.

As the students were already forming a line, I joined in with the line form of my classroom. With class representatives standing before the line to signify the line that the member of that classroom should join.

I joined my line in time, 2 minutes it had begun.

Another school semester and another year of me, wandering about without knowing what I should do next and exploring the absurd even more.