JoJo & Ria 2: Let's go Pirate-bustin!

"We really need to stop this, Jojo," Ria groaned as she continued to keep a watch over for any passing patrol.

Two buddies on a mission to save the coasts of England from some of the fiercest pirates to ever exist. Pirates that came from France and were trying to be pirates before pirates were a thing and were actually cool.

And that wasn't cool. Not at all!

Nonetheless, the plan was simply impressive. It started from the infiltration since we stormed Normandy as if we were the Americans and our enemies, the Nazis. Never could I have imagined that such a glorious day could have come to us. The boat had been boosted with runes so the voyage was swift, brief, and thrilling as waves parted as we came in and victoriously.

Still, differently from D-Day, we weren't greeted with the sound of death, machine guns and artillery bombardments while we strolled by the shore to reach the fortress that was supposed to house the pirates' cove and their treasury. The place where all the heinous debauchery was plotted, concocted and then accepted. Also the place where perhaps they were hiding away a couple of things that were of a good friend of mine that had foolishly left some luggage by one of the coastal towns in the south of Londinium.

Breaching the defenses proved to be easy, yet not without some minor issues. We had to break a couple of windows, and I almost broke my legs trying to pull a cool flip while doing so, only for my lower body to slam unceremoniously on one of the tables there. If it had been for the sturdy table of wood, my amazingness would have been halved together with my capacity to move, kick butts, and show some epic dance moves.

Ria had softer landings, but it was mostly because she usually landed on me. Nothing too strange on that front since I was made of awesome and I could endure being the soft pillow if it meant sparing my friend an unpleasant fall on the ground. All for my friend.

The patrol around the perimeter took us to the conclusion that the place was desolate- or rather left empty as the pirates had left the place for another round of malicious assaults over the coasts of our homeland. With that opportunity evident and clear, the next step of our glorious act of good faith was to remove all the riches and set them in sections of the boat we came from. It was a tedious task that required three hours that showed our friendship, our closeness, and a serious need of finding extra time to spare in our usual selves together with our respective wives. Ah, the jokes- the references!

And the headaches I would give to poor Ria by making her easy to tease before Ginny's eyes and own words.

I merely giggled at the blonde's words as I finished setting down the last bars of explosive runes meant to obliterate the lair of evil. If there is something that I learned from reading books, watching documentaries, and playing countless games that approached this monumental event either in an FPS or a Strategy-based system, it is that Bunkers in France that were meant to prevent any invasion from the British Isles, may those be built by the French or the Germans, needed to be busted and cracked open to spare people from making countless of movies about tragedies. Let's make simpler things that focus on wholesome individuals- like Forrest Gump. Yes, let's give Tom Hanks a reason to go for the sequel or even a Trilogy by making it possible that 'Saving Private Ryan' isn't a thing.

Then again, different times- I was a thousand and almost a half years off from actually being able to pull that kind of impressive ahistorical move. Right now, the focus is on some pesky pirates, their ambitions of looting poor cities, and make us all look like morons that can't guard our own cities.

Sure, I had some nasty surprises planned out on my side of the coast which made any assaults pretty suicidal, and a good 90% of the loot they stole was mostly from Ria's side of the country, but still- dreadful pirates!

"I mean it. This is really starting to get unnerving. Our own armies were already handling this issue, we could have handled the troublesome raids from Ireland."

"Oh, that's for next week-"

"That doesn't mean that I have the same freedom to enjoy these kinds of moments together without having to worry for Agravain to give in to Merlin's attempt to get a hand in the realm's affairs."

Oh right, I forgot that the pesky magician was really into making messes out of good situations. I still remember him trying to do something to the cake Mya had prepared for both Ria and Ginny. And that got him a serious beating from the chef herself as she was quick to notice the attempt to tamper with the baked goods.

From politics to social situations, Merlin was what I could easily call a pathological chaos-bringer. Is there something that one can tell is perfect and without need of being modified, or even touched? Then the Memelin himself would come in and make things incredibly difficult, complicated, and stupidly wrong.

It was an issue Ria was working on, but I still couldn't exactly ignore it since the bastard came so close to ruining a rare thing that came in going back to this time and dimension. The kind friendship between the amazing duo- the combo that made many wonder and allowed for wet dreams to come out of each thought about it. The sheer and pure wholesomeness of being a deadly squad of kings in disguise that saved the world through simple and often ignored things.

With that thought cheering me up, I knew of something that I was certain that was going to cheer the girl up the moment it went off. After setting up the charges, we bolted back to our comfy boat and stopped a couple of miles off the fortress to see the spectacle unfold.

The fortress of evil, the source of many unpleasant nights spent burying our faces in paperwork, was soon detonated and blasted to kingdom's come. With nothing of what was once left inside beyond the treasure it once held, I could tell from Ria's shoulders sagging in relief that it made her at least happier that she was now going to have less burdens during her daily routine.

Now, since the big and glorious plan was finally over, the little toll that we had agreed on a while ago entered in action and I found myself in a contemplative mood as Ria asked for something I just couldn't comprehend much about.

Here I was, lying on the surface of the boat while Ria was… in a similar position like mine, except above me. No, she wasn't resting on me like Mya or Scathach would, it was like we were calmly t-posing against the sky itself.

"You know, I really believe we should find a way to get Merlin to tune down his chaos-making agenda," I pointed out. "I can tell you are stressing a lot about it."

"I think? I mean, he has been focusing more on the new sword and the sheath. I'm just… unsure how to feel to the fact even this one will give me immortality."

…

"You what?"

"I mean, I guess it's not that bad since I will not age and I will never get sick-"

"Elaborate on the whole 'you are immortal' thing you just said. And not aging?"

"It's the sheath, it stunts my growth and preserves me in my prime."

"I..." I paused for a moment, thinking for a moment about what I've just heard. "I believe the age of confirmed maturity is twenty, Ria. How old are you, fifteen?"

"I'm nineteen," The blonde answered flatly. "The fact I look younger is because of Caliburn. It was the tool that was also responsible for making me immortal."

"That's… actually bad. I mean, I believe you are growing mentally, but that stunt isn't… healthy. It can't be healthy."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I might be a moron at times and get myself in unhealthy situations, but that means you will never know what your adult form looks like."

"And with me, the rest of the people that don't know that their king is a woman."

And that's a fair point. I really wasn't happy about it, but… dammit, things really needed to change drastically in the current state of society.

"You know, I can try to help you with that. Making sure that the mindset that a woman can't rule without a consort, or a husband, be removed from any preconception offered by our nobility."

"It would be atrocious work."

"But a good one to do if it means giving you the chance of not having to feel forced into a role you don't like. And I don't mean as a ruler, but as a cold-looking figure that represents the most cynical view one could imagine a monarch being," I hummed quietly. "I believe, beyond what our friendship means to us both, that you are not meant to be that tough. I know you are strong and mighty, but you are too good of a person to hide away how much your heart can muster without hurting yourself too much. You may try to hide it with the excuse that it is all for your subjects- but I believe we both know they would love it to the core if they saw you being yourself around them. It's all because of some… idiot nobles that came from your father's old court."

…

"Then I will wait that day… patiently, but with a hint of excitement," I reached up with both hands and spared her some head patting. But the moment was interrupted when something slammed onto our boats, almost pushing it away from its trajectory, but still holding the attacks thanks to some precautionary runes meant to heighten its endurance.

We both stood up and reached for our respective weapons and..

"It's the pirates!" I exclaimed, grinning as I felt like now the day wasn't going to end anticlimactic. "Let us show 'em who is the greatest duo the sea has ever met!"

The blonde looked annoyed at the interruption, but seemed to regain some good mood at my words.

"It will be a lesson they are never going to forget!"

And so, as a couple of barbarian-like men descended from the bigger ship to attack us, Ria and I rushed forward, ready to take asses and kick names.

There is nothing better than fighting pirates with your close friend keeping your rear safe by decimating her own share of thugs. Truly an amazing day for the grand duo that was Jojo and Ria!