Chapter Twenty-Five: The battle Of Feelings

Day three arrives just around the corner. They did the headquarter cleaning and organized other stuff. A peaceful day formed in the center of the sky, the dozing of wind blew like a mellow, it was soft, and warm. It was burning in hot flames, but not at that point of collapsing, the air was just right, and the wind was cool, hot and warm.

The scenery was forming to its shape, a roundness of skies, and windy haze, burning and gazing up above it like a seizing meat. Trees were all around, flowers blossomed and metals bliss, the silence, quiet and peace made her jaw frown in boredom.

Looking at the far sight where her eyes can see and sneezing at the sound of the wind blowing from the forest. The entire place piled, and filled, lines with the sound of river drops, and the birds singing were enough as a sound.

Along with his high gaze comes a freshly tired face, he frowns at the sight that never took his mind off; it was a fresh new day for Valerie. Everything wasn't settled, no letter of admission has yet been yet approved, and his daughter doesn't talk to him the entire two days.

Valerie is being treated like a princess, while Caleb's spoiled brats keep on messing with her. It's the routine she did again and again during her two day's time, and now she had time to relax away from being chased after two little monsters who won't stop messing with her.

She did, however, appreciate the treatment of the people she met. Though it was too much, and she still hasn't adjusted to this kind of life, she had seen many people going in and out of her room, giving her tea, sweets, books and even helping her dress, or assisting her to the best of their ability.

She didn't feel right; it was too much for her to bear, even the Valkyrie couldn't get used to having someone assisting them, and taking good care of them. It's not something a person, or a machine who spends most of their lives doing those things on their own, will ever get used to.

Ares' gaze upon his beautiful daughter, her slim racial shape looking at the far, her sharp nose, and those rosy lips which makes you wonder why it's so soft. He then pulls himself and coughs, trying to lessen the sensation of being awkward together.

"We are dealing with lots of documents right now, but you need to deal with yours as well. You haven't written your recommendation letter, have you? Without it, we can't complete the requirements given by the school if you don't cooperate. I had to pull some strings to ensure you can enter, and the only thing I need for you to do is to make a recommendation letter stating your desire to enter. Hey! Are you listening?"

Valerie tilted her head and she shifted her gaze as slowly as she could and looked at her father. They look alike—certainly but her features resemble the features of her mother, Rosalyn.

It's like looking in a mirror if the gender is a male.

They've already planned for her, so what can she do at that moment? She didn't even know if she really wanted to enter that school. She kept the letter on-hold for a while, because she was thinking about how to convey that desire which she didn't have.

It's not supposed to be fake. Armenians are intended to have more awareness in people's personality and feelings, and they see this as an objective of negativity. If they can read and feel fake, it's probably because someone has written a letter that brings or shares negativity.

Should have been used to identify mortals being possessed by demons. Although sometimes demons appear in their normal form, others tend to possess someone else's body.

She breathed in and looked at the tree besides. "I will try to find time and write the letter," she bit her lips as if she wanted to say more than that but was forcibly stopped from speaking.

There are words that come from her mouth yet leaves afterwards. She doesn't express it, but sometimes she hides it and speaks no more, it was like a brutal way of not saying anything at all.

She tried to breathe it out again. "Do you feel like you're being forced?" Only to be taken aback by her father, Ares questions.

Being forced? She doesn't know. She spends her life obeying command, or even going to one without being told to her. It's like she dedicated her life to order, and she didn't have any free will of her own.

Before, she never felt this way, but recently as the passing time, as people change and things go to a different path, even the woman who was a Valkyrie changes after some event that occurs depending on that situation.

It was hard not to identify what she likes or does, and sometimes she doesn't know completely. "There are," she paused before nodding. "There are some things I don't understand, and situations I accept even without considering my own feelings. I don't know if I like it, or not, I am not sure of what to feel and not to feel."

"Then, how do you feel now? Let's put aside what we talked about and think more about what you feel," he said.

It's not assurance for Valerie but it was a start for Ares to understand his daughter more—or the seemingly abnormal problems she carries. "I wonder, do God's have feelings?"

Ares smiled and nodded. "When I was your age, my father taught me how to fight, and how to win a game settled by both unfairness. My mother and father were fighting over my half brother, and my mother had slowly forgotten her child during their fights. I understood nothing at all, me and my siblings were still children. But I was already the God of War, going through battle, and winning them over. I didn't have time to think about my parents so I didn't know how my mother felt at that time."

He looked at her and he carefully wiped his hands on Valerie's head who wasn't bothered by being treated like a child. "Because I was a God who didn't understand his feelings and I was someone who didn't care—I lost Athena. It's not too late to understand those feelings and care for them."

She looked at him and sneered away. "My feelings can be modified, as long as I take a drug it won't fill," she coldly said and made Ares startled.

A mortal mind is like two in a bottle, it is filled with emotions such as the main emotions happy, sad, anger and disgust but no such mortal can surpass emotions using drugs—no, if it's in the other world, it is maybe possible because of their high level scientific advancement.

"Who did you get those drugs from?" He asked.

"I didn't get it, I took it three times a day in a year during my capture. They told me, it's a drug that can modify my feelings so I won't feel anything," she said.

Modification of feelings? By humans? "Do you remember what you felt or did when you first took it?"

"No," said Valerie.

He shook his head and nodded. "Do you still have them?"

"No, it was destroyed alongside the doctors who were murdered in the laboratory."

"Then how do you feel now?" he asked.

"Still confused, and empty—no, I mean when you patted my head, there's a tingling warm sensation, and I don't know what it was," Valerie replied in a low tune.

She didn't try to stop herself from telling what she really wanted to say. She felt as if she's allowed to say it as openly as she could. It was the friction of both of her judgment and empathy towards herself. Ares nodded, he thought it was a good start to understand her.

It's one of the best methods he knows. "That's a feeling of warmth, the feeling of relief and the feeling of care."

Is that so? She thought and held her head and constantly patted her head like a child replicating what her parents did to her. In mortal age, she's already an adult, but for Ares who thinks that Valerie had matured early, this side of her was understandable by most people or God's alike.

"That's weird, I felt the warmth of my hand," she mumbles and makes Ares laugh. She's trying to understand what her father meant, and accepts this like she's a 10 years old learning more about stuff. It made Ares laugh, yet made Valerie confused.

"It doesn't work if you do it on your own," he puts his hands again on her head and wipes her hair slowly. "Look, my hands aren't yours, that is why, you felt weird."

She nodded and breathed in. "I see, I am really empty, I couldn't even identify it."

"It doesn't matter, as long as you want to learn, you can be filled, I know how it felt," Ares confronted and he continued patting her head. "So, how do you feel about going to a school then?"

Valerie tilted her head and shook it. "I don't know, I just thought it was sad."

"Why is that? Why is it sad?" Ares asked.

"I just thought it was saddening, I thought maybe it's for the best, so I thought maybe it's just too sad after all," she said.

"Is that so?" Ares asked and exclaimed. "Don't worry about that for now, so think about this, let's have some fun, go outside these walls and see the beauty of Armenia, I'm sure something will interest you."

Valerie blink before nodding.