Men’s best friend.

In a dark alleyway, a man with binoculars was currently watching the local fat support characters in their natural living space─the parking area of the local fast-food chain.

Wearing a white wig, nobody could have realized that this stranger, was the number 1 on the most-wanted list. He was in possession of the secret MC formula and he needed more forbidden knowledge to create the perfect story to get the 10k

A long sigh left the mouth of the author as he watched the total destruction of anything that remotely resembled edible objects in the mouths of human beasts.

As much as he wanted to, he could not avert his eyes. As a writer, it was his god-given duty to watch and learn from the vicious chewing actions.

In a sense, watching these huge teddy bears wolfing down on very healthy food was a bit like a car crash. One knew they were better off not seeing anything, but most still watched on in sheer horror.

Whether or not the average reaction was fascination or disgust did not matter to the spying author. All he cared about, was finding the perfect side character for comedic relief.

What was better for that occupation than men's best friend?

It's everyone's favourite, aside from cat people, the dog.

Sorry, I meant t-dawg. A 2-meter bloke beloved by everyone. He was the author's best friend, he also had a rather big surface area, but none of those things mattered to our author.

T-dawg taught him to not look at these kinds of things. Instead of seeing them as a walking heart attack, just waiting to be carried out with a crane, he taught me to see them as people with a history.

With his big belly, he simply laughed and smiled at others. Most of the time, he simply stated… " They are just humans with another human inside of them", something which I believed him on the spot.

The author himself did not like the consumption of other living beings as a diet, but who was he to tell others how to live their lives?

After all, they had to carry the weight of the situation… and the big, fat trouble they would be in were they caught.

In some regard, our dear author was even happy that people like this existed. Should the zombies rise from the dead, their massive bodies could stop them long enough for others to safely escape.

That must be the true meaning of feed-back.

…

At that moment a strange development took place. Inside the wannabe author's brain, a certain emotion came to be. Was it, due to everyone, despite their flaws, seeming so happy? That they had lovely wives, cheery children, while he did not?

Did the most wanted man on earth realize the truth about this "comedic relief"? Had his jokes really gone way too far? He must have learned not to judge people based on anything else than the content of their character.

In truth, our dear author had simply understood that he had just met his readers' moms. Fat chance, this was the birthplace of most of them.

Every one of them found a home in Diabetes-City.

Speaking of home, the author had forgotten to mention that his house had been raided by the special forces and his family had been taken hostage. The only way to save them was to exchange the secret MC formula for them. Our brave author refused to give in.

This was a sacrifice he was willing to make for the chance of winning 10K dollars. And who knew if the author Fearmongering became famous─he would get a sugar daddy in no time.

He could make his new daddy just as proud as his first one.

You know life was truly short. One had to enjoy it while it lasts and if you lose one or two parents along the way to fulfil your lifelong dream then that's too bad. We all gotta start somewhere.

Even Bat- I mean Fatman lost his two parents before he became a superhero.

-Real author here any similarities to existing character names are mere coincidence and totally not used in order to milk other franchises to gain that big fat 10k dollar check.-

"Shut up", said the author clearly not understanding the concept of funny jokes, since he is german.

-FFS just stop talking and go on with your story, the people want to be entertained-

"No, it's my 10k, not yours" exclaimed the dumb author clearly not understanding the concept of breaking the fourth wall.

-Don't you have anything better to do, maybe hang off a cliff to master the art of cliffhangers?-

"You are just using me to pad the word count," said the fake author who clearly knew himself? very well.

-I am the real author here, I am the one writing and changing everything as I want it to. You are nothing more than a plot device to set up the real story, which will start soon. What? Do not look at me like I had just killed your mother. Wait… I did, I am just playing,ya know?–

~Son, it's time to sleep. Do not spend so much time talking to yourself on the computer, it makes you look like some total dumbass. You will never get a girlfriend like this.~

─Yes, my dear Son, quickly find a girlfriend, so we can kick you out of the house and make sweet love on your bed. ─

-But DAAAAAD, I am only 18 and collect chromosomes as a hobby. My only hope of attracting a girlfriend is money and I need to win 10 Grand for this. Otherwise, I would never stand a chance in hell-

─Dear Son. I love, but I could not care less.─

# Mommy, my brother does not let me use the computer. Tell him he is a stinky poopy head. And tell him that he is meta-writing is totally lame.#

-You take that back, I am a really good writer- said the real author clearly having lost his marbles talking to the sister he never had. The only child was clearly confused by the sudden involvement of all these characters, which would never be used again.

Tune in to the next chapter when it's all about the real author trying to force the other author to make hanging off a cliff sound interesting.