Chapter 130

Lucifer comes out of hiding again the next afternoon. He walks to the war room, taking the opportunity to stretch his legs. It occurs to him as he does that he must be getting far too comfortable in his vessel to refer to them as legs instead of his vessel's. Part of him thinks that means he's getting too comfortable living among humans, that he's almost starting to see himself as one. Part of him thinks it's his way of putting himself above humans by taking ownership of what used to be someone else's. At the moment, he's not sure which interpretation is worse.

He tries not to dwell on that as he makes his way to what he knows will be the common gathering spot. He glances around, taking a mental note of who's here. Charlie looks away from her conversation with Meg and waves, to which Lucifer responds with a polite nod, but that's not who he's here for.

Next, his gaze shifts to Sam and Gabriel. He knew they were getting friendly again, but he hadn't expected them to mend their relationship quite this well. Gabriel is talking, and judging by his facial expressions, he seems really into whatever story he's telling -- or maybe he's just that excited to be talking to Sam. He's definitely been lonely lately. Sam is just laughing, a big, genuine smile on his face. It kind of stings, but it's also kind of nice that Sam's happy, even if it's not with him.

And, finally, his gaze lands on Michael and Jack. Lucifer's instinct is to tell Michael to stay away from his kid, and he's not sure whether it's his protective instinct or his antagonistic one. He doesn't say that, of course; he has no more right to this kid's time than anyone else here. They might be related in a different universe, but it's hard to see that as true here.

But again, that's not why he's here. It looks like that's about as close as he can get, though, so with a flap of his wings, he appears in front of his eldest brother. Whatever conversation he had been having with Jack cuts off immediately, and Lucifer has to hope it's because they're surprised, not because they were talking about him behind his back.

"Lucifer," Michael says, eyeing him warily. "You've been gone for a few days. Is everything okay?"

"Aces," Lucifer deadpans. He doesn't want to deal with the guy more than he has to so he cuts to the chase. "Where's Jo?"

"Um... Bathroom." Now he looks wary. "What's going on?"

"Doesn't matter," Lucifer says. "See ya." If Jo's not here, he has no reason to be, either. He's not having this conversation with just his brother.

"Lucifer?" Jack says, and just the sound of his name on the kid's lips is enough to make him hesitate. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Lucifer says.

Jack eyes him skeptically.

"Really, I'm fine," Lucifer repeats. "Don't worry about me. You keep doing what you're doing." He ruffles the boy's hair briefly before walking away.

Well, that was pointless. It figures the one time he actually to talk to Jo, she's not even there. Did Chuck do that on purpose? There's no way he could have known it would work out that way. There were far too many variables.

But he really need to talk to her, so he'll have to head back eventually. How long do humans usually spend in the bathroom? And is there a socially acceptable amount of time he has to wait before he goes to talk to her afterward? God, human social etiquette is too confusing.

Fortunately, it seems he doesn't have to worry about that, because Jo comes around the corner as he's walking away. She just gives him an awkward smile -- their peace treaty didn't really extend to a permanent friendship -- but he stops her before she can walk away.

"You good?" Jo asks, eyeing him warily.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Lucifer asks, exasperated.

"I dunno," Jo says with a shrug. "You never want to talk to people. I figure if you are, you probably have a reason."

"Okay, that part is true," Lucifer says. "And you're actually the one I was looking for."

She cocks her head to the side. "Really? Why?"

"Because I was talking to Chuck --"

Jo groans and puts a hand up, gesturing for him to stop. "I don't even want to know."

"No, you really don't," Lucifer agrees, and that definitely seems to pique her interest. "But I think you need to know anyway."

"Alright, I'll bite." Jo leans against the wall and folds her arms over her chest. "What did he say?"

It occurs to Lucifer just now that he didn't take the time to find a delicate way to put this, so he just flat-out says, "Chuck wants you and Michael to break up."

Jo stares at him. "Seriously?"

Lucifer nods. "Yeah, just good ol' Dad being over-controlling." He rolls his eyes. "So just be on the lookout in case he tries something to break you up. I know it's the end game he wants, but I have no idea how he plans on getting there so I can't do much other than let you know."

Jo frowns. "Well, thanks for that. I think."

"No problem," Lucifer replies. "Good luck dealing with his bullshit. See ya." And with that, he's off, heading back to the dungeon where he can lounge around in peace. It's harder to get roped into drama when no one knows where to find him -- though Chuck is doing his damndest to get him to stir some drama up anyway.

"Wait, hang on," Jo says quickly.

Lucifer turns back around to look at her. "Yeah?"

"Why did he tell you that?" Jo asks, which, in all fairness, Lucifer had suspected she would do. "Did he us to know?"

"Uh, no, not exactly," Lucifer says, "but he clearly doesn't care too much or he would have stopped me from telling you." It probably doesn't bode well for the happy couple.

"Then why did he tell you?" Jo asks again.

"Well, funny story," Lucifer says, despite knowing that it is a funny story in the slightest. "He was hoping I would do his dirty work and he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, so here we are."

Jo pauses, processing that. "But you're going to do that, right?"

He shakes his head. "I told you, I think you two are good for each other. I'm not gonna try to break you up -- not just because Chuck told me to."

"Well, thanks," she says.

Lucifer decides not to mention how weird it is to thank him for just letting them live their lives. He assumes that's the end of their conversation, but she asks yet another question, and he has to stay to answer that one, too.

"Did he tell you he wants us to break up?"

Lucifer pauses, reviewing that conversation in his mind. He explained a lot, but ... "No, he didn't."

Jo narrows her eyes. "That was way too long of a pause for just a 'no.'"

Lucifer presses his lips into a firm line. She's not , exactly, but Chuck didn't really explain it. Sure, there are things he's going to keep to himself that Jo would probably benefit from knowing, but Chuck really didn't explain how would benefit from this, so Lucifer's not really lying.

"Seriously, Lucifer, what's going on?" Jo asks. "If God Himself is plotting my relationship's downfall, I think I deserve to know the details."

"They're stupid details," Lucifer says. "A lot of weird wishful thinking on his part, and I'd like to think I made that very clear. Don't even worry about it."

"No, trust me, I am worried about it," Jo says. "Where did this even come from? Why did he tell you? Why did he think you would help him when you've made it clear that you want nothing to do with him that you're not going to get in our way? Come on, you can't just drop this on me and not give the whole story."

Lucifer lolls his head back in exasperation. "Fine, but you keep your mouth shut about it. You can tell your boy toy that Chuck's trying to break you two up but everything else stays between us. Got it?"

"Deal."

Of course, Lucifer's not going to tell her the story. There are some things he wouldn't feel comfortable repeating to anyone. Do you have any idea what it's like to try to ignore your father when your father is God? He knows how to get a guy's attention, that's for sure, and not in a way Lucifer would want to tell the world. But that's not to say there's he can tell her, as long as she doesn't let it get the whole bunker in a frenzy.

"He laid out his conditions for ending the lockdown," Lucifer says.

Jo's jaw drops. "Seriously? That's awesome! What does he want us to do?"

Lucifer is much less enthusiastic. "Your breakup was one of those conditions."

This time, Jo's surprise isn't a joyful type. "What? Why?"

"I don't know," Lucifer says, which is only half true but that's not important.

"So, what, we break up and he lets us out?" Jo asks, and though she doesn't sound happy, she almost sounds like she's considering it.

"No, it would take a lot more than that," Lucifer says. "I know what he wants from me and I'm not going to play along -- and you're not going to --" He gives her a pointed look at that, "so it doesn't matter."

"You're joking," Jo deadpans. "He's giving us an out and you're going to throw a bitch fit --"

Lucifer snaps his fingers, taking her voice away before she can finish that thought. She tries to yell at him -- a valid reaction, he must admit, though it's obviously useless -- and he just rolls his eyes. "I'm holding out hope that Jack's going to be our out. It'll work better for both of us."

A look of confusion passes over her face, but when she tries to ask her question, she finds her voice is still gone. Lucifer rolls his eyes and returns it to her. "You were saying?"

"Fuck you," she mutters before asking her question like nothing happened. "Did Chuck mention that Jack's trying to get us out? Does he know?"

"Oh, yeah, he knows," Lucifer says. "There was no way we were gonna be able to keep that from him."

"What did he say about it?" Jo asks. "Anything?"

"Just that he has no idea if it's something Jack will be capable of," Lucifer says with a shrug. "He seems as interested to find out as we are, so I don't think he'll step in."

"So there's still a chance," Jo surmises.

Lucifer nods. He's not sure how good this chance is, but it's a chance nonetheless.

"And if he can't?" Jo asks. "If Jack can't get us out, what then?"

Lucifer purses his lips, silent. If Jack can't do it...

"You were willing to go to Hell to get out of here not too long ago," Jo reminds him. "If it comes to it, you're going to follow Chuck's plan, right?"

Lucifer hesitates. "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."