Chapter 1, in which Hinata Shoyo shows up at my doorstep for the first time

I've been sitting in bed in my pyjamas at the end of the day before going to sleep.

There was a triple knock on the door and a low, shy-ish and a bit rushed:

「(L/N)さん,こんにちは!今ちょっといい?」 "(L/N)-san, hello! May I have a minute?"

My heart skips a beat at the sound of this voice:

「あ!どうぞ入って」 "Yes! Please come in"

Hinata enters my room looking a bit unsettled. He takes his shoes off, but keeps standing.

I sit up and pat on the bed beside me:

「座ってね」 "Have a seat, would you"

He comes around and sits without looking at me. Pretty close, I guess closer than ever. I can feel the bed bend under his weight. I ask:

「どうしたの?」 "What is it?"

「えーと...」 "Um..."

Hinata pauses and keeps his gaze on the hands in his lap. This kind of loss of words is unusual for him. I take advantage of this moment and let my eyes wander.

His masculine hands. Far from once I've been dreaming to touch them. Or rather, for them to touch me.

He's wearing black shorts — my gaze sweeps up — and a white T-shirt. I linger at the collar.

I feel the sudden and overpowering desire to tuck my nose into his neck and place my head on his shoulder. While this is an all-or-nothing situation, I don't take the time to think it through, my head is being drawn towards him like a magnet.

Before I know it, our bodies touch, I get hit by an electric jolt and my head explodes with fireworks. I close my eyes, hold my breath and freeze frightened by my own arrogance.

This feels unbelievable. I am taking in so many different details and at the same time I'm unable to process reality. I feel the warmth of his neck with my face and the cool of his cotton T-shirt with my ear and cheek. His soft skin. His breath, up and down. His pulse. His collarbone, I can feel it pressing into my face.

But most breathtaking is the smell. A fresh smell of shampoo and clean hair. A crisp smell of laundry detergent from his T-shirt. All of it, however, is mixed with something hardly identifiable, but of undeniable presence: his own smell. How intimate. Now I have a chance to get acquainted with it.

I get drunk on these emotions. I can't tell whether it's been a second or minutes of being so close to him. I don't ever want to let this moment go.

Then suddenly Hinata moves and I emerge from this trance. I become scared. What will his reaction be? Is this the first and last time I can pull off such liberties? Automatically I start to apologise:

「すみま...」 "I'm sor..."

Hinata turns towards me, silent. I have to raise my head up from his shoulder, which makes me hurt inside, almost physically. I can't get myself to bring my gaze up to meet his. I'm trying to delay the pain.

Then Hinata does something unexpected, gently, but swiftly he lays me down on my back and ends up hovering over me. He's leaning on his arms, which are now framing me. It becomes near impossible to hide my gaze and not look at him (at least some part of him: his arms, his legs or his chest), so I meet my fate and bring my eyes up.

They meet his and time stops still.

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Coldplay - A Sky Full Of Stars https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPRjCeoBqrI

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I'm drowning in his brown eyes and now I get an opportunity to study them properly. There are many different shades, which I didn't notice before. His face is in shadows now, but his eyes are shining with glare from the lamp. And they're wide with an emotion I cannot yet read.

I'm frozen like a deer in the headlights and once again I pray for this to last forever.

We don't break eye contact, but I notice something's changed. Hinata is leaning in towards me. I immediately experience a rush of emotions: excitement, panic, hope, happiness. Of course I've forgotten how to breathe. But somehow words come out of my mouth:

「もっとゆっくりやろうよ,お願いだから...」 "Let's take it slower, please..."

He stops and after a second quietly answers:

「はい.」 "Okay."

I can't believe I did that, but deep inside I know that I want to savour the anticipation. Nevertheless, I beat myself up for risking making it awkward and ruining the moment.

I sit up making him sit up too. Hinata looks a bit bewildered.

Now I lean in and bring my head close to his. I know I must not let our noses touch or I will lose control. Instead, I pivot and bury my face in his hair past his ear. I go further and let my right hand stroke his neck and allow my fingers to run through his hair.

This is something I've also dreamed of doing many times. Not much easier for my self-control, to be honest. I realise that I'm thirsty for his smell again already and I can't get enough of it. I take rich inhales without any shame, burying my nose even further.

His hair is messy and bouncy as always, but unexpectedly soft and slightly damp. The thought of him taking a shower just recently makes me flush. I continue to play gently with his hair, my fingers are swimming through the thick locks.

I'm breathing deeply for more reasons now.

I break away from his hair and then find myself blowing softly around the edge of his ear. I imagine whispering his name, but don't give in to the indecency. Instead, I lightly lay kisses along his ear and then not so lightly press his earlobe between my lips.

The worry that I may have gone too far crosses my mind, but I don't stop to act on it. I move to his cheekbone and then lower to cover his jawline — my weakness — with kisses. His skin is soft and warm.

I dare to move lower and kiss his neck. I allow my hand to caress it too. At this point I can't stop and I let my kisses get wet. Now I taste his skin. I even get to thinking that I wouldn't mind it to be sweaty. Wouldn't mind at all.

At this point his neck is hot. I can feel it pulsating strongly under my tongue too.

「これは全然ゆっくりじゃないよ」 "This is not slow at all, you know"

I immediately stop and return to reality. I could hear a smile in his voice, but it also sounded a bit husky. I take this moment to catch my breath and pull myself together. I know my cheeks are red hot. ドキドキ. [<Heart thumping>.]

I become insecure and blame myself for being so selfish and greedy. Why do I keep risking it?

Hinata takes my chin and turns my head towards him. He holds my face in both of his hands and looks at me. I am still anxious, which is probably showing on my face. I feel I might start trembling.

He gently pulls a lock of hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear. He strokes my hair full length, again and again, which calms me down. His left hand is still holding my neck and cheek and this gives me comfort and excitement at the same time. In the meanwhile his fingers start to wander along my face, the soft touch is ticklish at first, but soon enough makes my heart go faster. He's following my forehead, my jawline, then my eyebrows and cheekbones. He strokes my nose, cupid's bow and then my lips. I could not imagine this can be so provocative. Once his hand finds my mouth again, I can't help but wrap my lips around his finger. I close my eyes. I lick it and give it a small bite. He gently pulls it back, which makes me think I crossed the line again. But then he slowly brushes the wet finger along my lower lip and this stroke echoes inside me with pleasure.

Hinata is in front of me. He shortens the distance between us just a bit and asks:

「今がいいか?」 "Is now a good time?"

His serious, but gently pleading expression melts my heart:

「はい...」 "Yes..."

Hinata gives me a warm smile and I feel sun-kissed. He puts his hand on my waist and pulls me closer while looking into my eyes. His fringe touches my forehead and his head follows. We're so close my breath stops. The tip of his nose touches mine and I can no longer keep my eyes open. Our noses are slowly rubbing against each other and I feel bliss filling my insides. I am panting. Finally he presses even closer to me and our lips meet.

I am on cloud nine a millimetre away from the sun. My head is just a rainbow fuzz. I cannot think at all.

His lips are fiery, tender and deadly sweet. I have desires of my own, but he's taking initiative, which makes this even more thrilling for me. He starts by gently kissing my lower and then the upper lip and I learn the shape of his lips by touch. I studied them well enough with my eyes before, but this cannot compare... The kiss gets more passionate and one moment he pauses and deliberately slowly licks my lips around. This drives me mad. I want to kiss him more and as soon as possible, but the sweet torture makes the enjoyment even greater. My heart might jump out of my chest. Then his tongue makes its way into my mouth and gives me pleasure I did not know was possible. His lips are on fire.

In fact, he's hot all around. I can feel his steamy breath on my face, the warmth of his hand on my back, his chest pressing against mine. It's as if I was frozen to death and didn't know it until I walked into Hinata's sunshine. I can't get enough of this life-giving heat.

I am so overwhelmed I can no longer sit straight. Hinata catches my back and pins me down to the bed. The most comforting cover I ever laid under. However, I do know he's not putting all of his weight on me, and his consideration touches me even more.

Hinata's lips leave mine, but the kiss won't stop. He kisses and then slowly licks my left ear. The sensations make me close my eyes, hold my breath and clench my jaw to stay quiet. When he sinks his teeth into my earlobe, I have to bite my lip.

He continues licking the skin under my ear, later coming down to my neck. The anticipation kills me. He's moving across my neck with wet passionate kisses. And one moment he hits the spot and I slip out an euphoric moan.

Hinata rises up on his hands and shows concern:

「大丈夫か?」 "Are you okay?"

I can only mumble:

「すごい...」 "Incredible..."

He leans towards my ear and says quietly:

「よかった」 "I'm glad"

Huh, was that a teasing smile in his voice? Do I get to see his demon side apart from his sunny side? This realisation strikes me and the possibilities make me blush. I try to stop my thoughts from going any further. Thankfully it's not that hard given the attention my neck is getting right now. I close my eyes and let my fingers rush through his hair.

After some time Hinata rises to look at me. This time I can take in more of him. I see his red-hot lips, but, embarrassed, look away. I look at his shoulders and his collarbone showing in the T-shirt's neckline. How cute. This got me thinking:

「あの,日向くん...」 "Listen, Hinata-kun..."

I am hesitant.

「何?」 "What is it?"

We sit up. I stroke my hand — slowly, making sure to take in the terrain — from his shoulder along his collarbone and down across his chest, and even slower along the abs. I stop at his shorts line, the T-shirt goes past that though. I gently pull the hem of his T-shirt up a couple of centimetres and look at him. I'm starting to blush, he's a bit perplexed.

「Tシャツを脱いでもいいか?」 "Are you okay taking off your T-shirt?"

A moment passes in silence. But instead of backing down I suddenly blurt out:

「お願い!」 "Please!"

I hide my face in my hands out of embarrassment. Today I'm genuinely surprising myself. Soon I hear a muted swoosh and I feel an airflow on my skin. I peek through my fingers and I see Hinata pulling out his head through the neckline. His hair got caught up in the T-shirt and was ruffled making an even more beautiful mess. Whoah.

At first I'm torn about what to chase after. The T-shirt, smelling divine and still warm from his body's heat, — I want that. But then I see the T-shirt's owner and the choice has never been so easy.

I gulp. My jaw might be dropping and I breathe out:

「日向くんはハンサムだね.」 "You are handsome."

He looks caught off guard, which is even more adorable. I hug him and let my hands travel across his back. It's so hot and smooth to touch. Then I push and lay him back on his shoulders. I want to hop on top of him, but manage to stop myself even with the tiny bit of consciousness I had left. Instead, I stay by his side and hover. I can now touch his chest. He takes me by the waist and once again I wonder how much better that would feel in a different position... I shove these thoughts away.

I focus on exploring the parts of him I'm seeing for the first time. I can watch his chest moving with his breath. I feel his heartbeat, that's so precious. I notice cute birthmarks I never had a chance to witness before. I can touch his strong abs. I start kissing all I've stroked...

I miss his face though, so I move up to confront him. He hugs me with both arms and I end up lying on top of him. I become worried:

「重くない?」 "Isn't it heavy?"

He chuckles:

「全然」 "Not at all"

I smile, wrap my hands around his neck and kiss him. This has been impossible to dream of just an hour back.

Then suddenly I can hear part of a conversation from the hall:

「はあ,日向はどこにもいない」 "Huh, Hinata is nowhere to be found"

「おかしいだね」 "Strange, isn't it"

I sit up and hug my knees.

「帰ったほうがいいのでは...」 "You should probably return..."

「ごめん」 "Sorry"

He doesn't look at me. I suddenly feel miserable. I should have treasured our moments together more and now it's almost over. I try not to show it.

Hinata dresses up and says:

「また明日」 "See you tomorrow"

I burst in despair:

「約束?」 "Promise?"

He comes over, stands above me and then bends down to kiss me. This time I attempt to be fully present. The goodbye kiss tastes different. It sweeps me off my feet though, so it's a good thing I'm sitting down. Our lips parted and he gives me one last brief kiss. He looks into my eyes and says:

「約束するよ.」 "I promise."

Now he's out of the room and I hear hurried steps that soon fade away.

Suddenly I feel cold. I wrap myself in a blanket and try to process what happened. I have just been on the top of the world and now I'm suffering. I won't be able to sleep tonight, that's for sure.

Why did Hinata come by my room in the first place anyway?