Chapter 24: This Me

Veretta felt exceedingly anxious over the next few days. Though she had so many questions, it was as if Errik was making a particular effort not to answer. Whenever she so much as mentioned the General, Errik simply repeated what he had told her on the night of the ball.

However, the feelings in her chest would not relent and the Red General's words continued to haunt her. She decided to try another method. Upon one of their visits to the library, she brought along the book the black wizard had written.

In the late evening, when all the students had filtered out, she presented it to Errik. It was raining heavily aside from the tall arched windows. It was dark apart from the candle lights and eerily quiet. For a moment he just stared down at it without saying anything. The silence was almost unbearable but Veretta held her ground.

"Perhaps, this will tell us something we have missed?" she said quietly.

"What exactly do you think it will tell you that I can't?" Errik looked up at her with dark expressionless eyes.

A crack of thunder suddenly lit the entity of the library and disappeared just as fleetingly. The musty air of the books felt particularly stagnant in Veretta's lungs. The darkness of Errik's eyes felt like they were suffocating her.

"Maybe the truth?" Veretta asserted meeting his gaze, "if you won't tell me,"

The corners of Errik's mouth drew into a cruel grin, "you won't find the truth in there,"

"So you admit you lied?" Veretta fist clenched, "you know that demon don't you? Or at the very least, he knows you,"

"What exactly did he say to you?" Errik pushed the book back apathetically.

" He said he was your student," Veretta explained.

" My student? " Errik repeated thoughtfully.

"Yes, he said he was a student of the black wizard," Veretta frowned, " he even dared to imply he was stronger than you,"

Errik gave a slight smile," he dared, did he?"

" I thought it was ridiculous at first," Veretta answered slowly, "but he was quite convincing,"

"I'm sure he was," Errik answered with a restrained smile, " I suppose that part may have been true,"

"Which part?" Veretta interrogated, "That he knows you or that he's stronger than you?"

"He's no ordinary demon, to say the least," Errik replied reticently

Veretta stared at him in disbelief, " So he really could have killed you..."

"He was holding back," Errik interrupted, " that demon...he never revealed his true power. That's all I know,"

" I see," Veretta said flatly. "And you haven't remembered anything about him?"

"Are you interrogating me right now?" Errik gave a mirthless smile, " do you think I'm plotting against you with that demon?"

"That's not what I said," Veretta exhaled, "You're putting words in my mouth,"

"Haven't I been an opening book, more than an open book?" Errik's jaw clenched, "but you still don't trust me, do you?"

"How can I trust you when you don't tell me the truth?"

"When did I lie?" Errik answered flatly, "I don't think he knows me. Just because he gave some ambiguous statements about my past doesn't mean anything,"

"I just think if you remembered something, you don't have to tell me what it is but, if it's affecting you, maybe we can work through it, "Veretta said earnestly, " you said before, we're in this together right? So let me help you. Trust me as well,"

"Are you sure it's me that you want to help?" Errik replied icily. His eyes went down to the book again, " I think sometimes the person you want to help is the man you read about in your books. And me, this me, is fucking invisible to you,"

"That's not true!"Veretta argued.

"Then why do you keep asking me if I remember?" Errik returned sharply," Why do I need to remember if you can be content with how I am now?" He started to rise but Veretta grabbed his hand.

"Errik!" Veretta implored, " I am happy with how you are, I just want you to be...Happy with it as well,"

"Happy?" Errik turned back with ruthless eyes. "Grow up, Veretta. In this world, happiness is a luxury. You read my book and every single thing written about me, right? Well then scholar of my life, did I seem happy to you?"

"I...I didn't mean..."Veretta stammered.

"You want me to go back to how I was?" Errik asked darkly, "if you honestly want that I'll find a way to remember it all. Just don't regret it,"

As he turned to leave once more, Veretta laced her hands through his arms and clung to his back.

"Please," Veretta said quietly, "I don't want to lose you. This you,"

Errik halted and his quick breath slowed. He turned around slowly looking at Veretta.

"Really?" He inspected her face closely. He seemed to be looking for something in her eyes. Veretta wondered what it was.

"It's the truth," Veretta replied earnestly. "You don't have to remember if you don't want to. Just forget it all. The only one I want is you!"

"That's all I want to hear," Errik returned softly. The darkness in his eyes abated as he skimmed a finger against Veretta's cheek, "I don't want to lose you either,"

He leant in and kissed Veretta's lips tenderly. It was more gentle than any of his kisses in the past few weeks, almost desperate. He pulled back with a warm smile.

"Let's not talk about this anymore," Veretta smiled back, "I'll finish up here, you go ahead tonight,"

Errik regarded her once more with an inscrutable expression. Veretta waved him off for a moment before taking her seat again. She stared down at the book and her smile disappeared. She sank back into her seat with a sigh.

"Why are you lying to me?" she muttered. "Don't you know, it just makes me want to know more?"

Veretta glanced out the window as the rain continued to pour. It felt like this uneasy feeling had only intensified. However, so had her resolve. That night, she didn't go back to her room. She went straight to where the teachers' rooms were located. The hallways were dark and everyone seemed to already be settled for the night. She walked quickly down the hall and she knocked at one of the doors.

There was rustle within and the door opened slowly. The Red General's utterly dark eyes stared back at her. A smile crept across his face. He was barely dressed only in a robe around his tanned muscular body. He leant back against the frame expectantly.

"Tell me more about the black wizard," Veretta met his gaze darkly.

In one hand, he gingerly took a glass of wine to his lips. He sipped it leisurely as he looked at her coolly. As usual, his expression didn't convey anything of his thoughts. Nevertheless, Veretta waited unwaveringly. Finally, he cast a glance back inside the room and called within:

"Hey you, get out,"

When he said the words there was a flustered rattle from within the dark room. One of the masters came scurrying out barely dressed. He was a skinny frail look man Veretta had seen around the college but whose name she could hardly remember. He glanced nervously at Veretta before hurrying back to his own room. Once he was gone, the Red General motioned her inside.

Veretta stepped inside apprehensively. The room was much grander than the confined student dormitories. There was a large bed draped with a thick velvet curtain in a state of disarray. The room smelt of alcohol and there was a thick smoke permeating the air. The General took a seat on the bed and leant back. He made no attempt to dress, nor speak, only sipping the wine indifferently.

"You told me there was a mistake that you didn't want Errik to make again," Veretta stared down icily, "tell me what it was,"

The General let out a whisper of a laugh, "And why are you asking me? Why don't you ask your Errik?"

"He won't tell me," Veretta exhaled uneasily, "either he doesn't remember or..."

"He's lying?" the General inhaled deeply, "Do you want to find out which?"

"Yes," Veretta answered stiffly.

" I can find out for you, miss witch," the General tilted his head back with a slight smile.

"And what do you want in exchange?" Veretta asked cautiously.

"Hmm," the General mused, "suppose you do me a little favour?"

"What favour?" Veretta asked impatiently.

"I want to confirm something for me," the General stated with an uncharacteristically serious air, " I want to find out if someone is dead or not,"

"How can I do that?" Veretta asked apprehensively.

"You're a necromancer," the General's startlingly black eyes laid into her, "It shouldn't be that hard for you,"

"Okay," Veretta answered quickly, "but it will take me some time to research the spell,"

"That's fine," the General set his drink down and stood up, "I can wait,"

"And you'll find out how much Errik remembers?" Veretta questioned.

"Sure," the General said flatly, "but I will use my own method. You can listen in but you can't interfere. Understood?"

"Yes," Veretta replied bitterly, "but what exactly do you plan to do?"

The General smiled malevolently, "don't worry, little witch. It's nothing he doesn't deserve,"