I’m Sorry

There was the constant sound of paper rustling as a man in his forties remained hunched over the wooden desk piled with dozens of manuscripts.

The window behind him, which provided the only source of light during the day, had been covered up with a thick and dark curtain that further made the room depressing.

Jiang An, her father, was a man who worked from home as a trainer for the family's small company employees. It wouldn't be accurate to call him a businessman, as he did not dabble in such subjects, but more of a literary man with good ethics and principles.

It was mainly his job to increase the quality of their company's employees while decreasing the chances of slackers.

As for why he stayed at home and not at the company, Jiang Shen did not know herself. She just assumed that her father would rather teach online than person to person.

It was easier for a tech person like him and it paid higher, oddly enough.

The next day when dusk had come and the sun was rapidly approaching, Jiang Shen tiptoed to the northeast courtyard. When she knocked on the door, his low voice could be heard.

"Come in."

When she opened the door, it was dark and the monitor on his desk was the only source of light. It was still very early, which was why she came at the time. Otherwise, when morning came, she would no longer be able to talk to him.

She could see that the night shift had taken a lot of energy. His sunken eyes and dull skin was a stark contrast to his skin that had practically been bleached by the computer screen.

A frown spread on her lips as she said softly, "Dad."

"What is it?"

"We need to talk."

Only then did he look up. The weariness displayed in his eyes made Jiang Shen's heart ache. If she could, she wanted to give him a big hug right now, but that was a little inappropriate.

Jiang An closed his monitor, before standing up and stretching his limbs. You could hear his joints popping from the lack of exercise.

"Take a seat."

In his study, there were only two armchairs, saved for the swivel chair behind his desk. Taking a seat on the leather chair, Jiang An leaned back and crossed his legs.

"So, what is it?"

"It's about college."

"Hmm... What about it?"

"I heard from Aunt Mei that you were saving up money for me to go to college."

Jiang Mei was a little bit of a chatterbox. He frowned when the words escaped her lips. It looks like his surprise had already been found out.

"And? What's wrong with your father saving up money for your future?"

"I just..." she couldn't help but shift in her seat. "... you don't have to force yourself to overwork just to send me to a good school."

She hated it when she could be of no help to her parents. There were plenty of options to go to a good university. Apply for a scholarship, which she could perfectly do so. Or take a student loan. It didn't matter to her. As long as she was able to help, she would.

Her words practically melted her father's heart. He felt guilty for not being able to shower his love and attention to his eldest daughter sooner. Because he had always felt that Jiang Shen did not need to be pampered, as she had displayed herself that she could be independent, he did not think to worry about her.

But what child would not want the attention of their parents? When a child sees that their siblings are more favored, what child wouldn't be sad and disappointed? What child would force themselves to be independent when they wanted to be safe?

"It's because I want to."

His expression became more determined than ever that she didn't miss the firmness in his tone.

"But really—"

"Shen'er."

She stiffened.

It had been a long time since she had heard that nickname. She had only ever heard it from her mother before she left the house. After that, it was never to be heard again.

She looked up. Jiang An's voice softly said,

"I will send you to a good school. Trust me on this."

"..."

"And... i'm sorry."

"..."

"For not giving you the care I should've given. I am a terrible father."

"No it's really fi—"

"No it's not."

He shook his head. There was no changing his decision nor taking back his apology. He stood up and caressed her head.

"Think of this as atonement from your father. You just have to focus on studying and not worry about anything else. I will take care of it."

Her father was different. After the divorce, he was no longer indecisive. No longer halfhearted. He had become more mature as a father, which made Jiang Shen want to cry.

"It seems that we've talked long enough. Don't you have school? Go now before you're late. Take care of yourself."

She nodded as she stood up to leave. Before she left, Jiang An then followed up.

"If you have any troubles, you can tell me. I'll be here for you, Shen'er."

"I will."

Her voice was quiet as she walked away. Now she felt like she could rely on someone and not have to force herself to be independent.

A newfound determination fired up her heart as she kept psyching herself up for the short but concise speech she was going to give at the morning ceremony.

On this particular day, the students gathered inside the large gym where the ceremony was to be held could not be quieted down. The hushed whispers combined with the crowd made their voices bounce around in the space, making one jittery.

Behind the curtains of the stag where the officers were located, a group of students were anxiously awaiting news.