Prologue

Prologue

Dead leaves crumbled under my feet as I slowly made my way through the park. Squirrels hurried across my path, and larks sang as they flew from tree to tree, but I paid no attention to the beauty around me. My thoughts had me spinning in twelve different directions, and I couldn't sort them out. I wasn't in love with him, so I'm not sure why the melancholy set in so hard. I guess it might be the fact that he had been lying to me for weeks, and I didn't suspect a thing. That girl was a complete bimbo, so she had to be good for one thing.

I could hear Uncle Mark's nagging voice, "I told you so. You should've listened to me." I could see the relief on my father's face, and I could imagine the line of questions starting with "why can't you keep a man" from my mother. I didn't want to deal with any of them right now. A small wooden bench tucked between two trees beckoned to me, promising some relief. I answered the call and sat at its bidding. In a moment, all of my emotions mixed into one... tears of anger. Anger with myself for being so stupid, anger with him for playing with my stupidity, and anger that I got hurt every time I put myself into the world.

"God, what are you doing to me?" I cried out loud. "You know what's good for me, yet you put losers like him in my life. When I ask for guidance, I get silence. Please... Please bring me one decent man with a heart for You. Someone that won't stare at my roommate's chest or ogle at women definitely prettier than me. Someone that will encourage my dreams and be proud to show me off." I looked up to the sky, wanting to scream in agony, but the thought of such a pathetic action over a man I knew wasn't worth my time just seemed so pointless. None of this was God's fault; I was the idiot that thought James showed some promise.

I laughed to myself, "Never again... Men will never hurt me again. Dating is overrated, and whether Olivia likes it or not, my life is on the road to spinsterhood."

I looked at the path to my left and saw a sweet, older couple arm in arm coming up the walkway. The lady's head leaned against the gentleman's shoulder, and a satisfied smile sat on her thin, cracked lips. The gentleman stood tall with pride over the lovely flower that hung on his arm, and his eyes sparkled as if he were eighteen again and walking his girl home.

My breath lapsed, and my stomach quenched in jealousy... My heart didn't seem too happy about my decision either.