The Muffled Voice of the Scapegoat

"I am a scapegoat. It's my destiny to always be the one in the wrong. There can be no denial. Can't defend myself. It's all in vain. No one will believe or care."

***

Ian and Elia are a pair of twins, a boy and a girl. Being born and growing up together made them inseparable. They can understand each other, even if only through their eyes. Twin pairs often have instincts like that.

Getting used to sharing makes them think the presence of another sibling will be very fun. Unfortunately, what they feel is different. The adults apparently paid more attention to the newcomer.

Normally, what Ian got, Elia would get it too. However, when the little babies get something, they are forgotten. The pair of twins stared at each other, there was the same anger in their hearts.

The jealousy that their parents didn't even realize was growing uncontrollably. They start doing bad things and accuse their brother of being to blame.

Seeing their little brother only being scolded when they were at home was starting to bore them. The child who grabs all the attention should be hated at school too. Anywhere.

Ian and Elia's wish came true. Their little brother was hated, ostracized and even bullied at school. Their actions are getting worse, to make the younger brother drop out of school.

Then, what did Ray do, as the younger brother? Nothing, to be precise there was nothing else he could do.

At first, he always defended himself by telling the truth. Ian and Elia slandered him. However, no one believed.

The more Ray defended himself, the more he was blamed. He was tired. Let them be angry, Ray won't say anything more to defend himself. He promised himself never to speak again.

"That's why you're mute?" Victor responded casually.

Ray nodded. His throat was itching because it was the first time he had ever spoken to anyone else for a long time.

"Eat and drink. Your face is pale." Victor added more food to Ray's plate.

"Wouldn't silence only make things worse?" Tama insisted. "Is that why you wanted to kill yourself?"

"What's the matter with you?" cynical Victor. Since the first time he saw Tama, he was already irritated. That girl always said disgusting things.

"I think you're right." Ray fiddled with his fingers under the table, as if to describe a struggle between his heart and mind. "You may be right. Things got worse after I fell silent."

"In the beginning, I was the scapegoat for all of Ian and Elia's mistakes. After being silent, I became the scapegoat for everyone's mistakes. Friends, teachers, everyone. Anything bad that happens in an instant will be my fault."

Ray smiled bitterly as he recalled everything that had happened to him.

"I was young then. By the time I realized that my silence was only making things worse, it was too late. The circumstances made it impossible for me to speak again."

Ray raised his head, looking at Victor and Tama in turn. He tugged at the corners of his lips, until pain and tragedy flashed across his face. The pain from the past had completely crushed him.

"I'm used to being beaten until my body goes numb. I'm so used to being yelled at and scolded, it feels like I'm going to go deaf from it."

Victor put away his plate. His appetite is gone. "Used to." Victor parroted. "Then you must be strong enough to endure that situation, right?"

"Until yesterday, I still could. But today I regret having confidently told myself that I would definitely survive. I regret that I had high hopes that tomorrow would be better."

"If I had been braver, if I had never given up on defending myself, if I had not been silent."

Seeing Ray's body shaking violently, Victor immediately drank a glass of water for the young man. Her lips were tightly pressed together with no expression, but believe me, her heart was deeply touched by Ray's life.

"Don't continue if you don't want to faint," said Victor flatly.

"You are a man." Ray held Victor's arm. "Do you think I look like a pretty guy? Did I increase your lust?"

Victor watched Ray's face carefully. Only the mouth and tip of the nose can be seen clearly, while his eyes are closed behind Ray's long bangs.

"No," said Victor. He really wasn't interested in things like that. To be precise, apart from being dead, nothing caught his attention.

"Of course! That's why no one believes that lecherous man is harassing me!" snapped Ray. The long-silent youth released all his anger in one shout.

"If I don'tweak, it won't happen! If I… if I don't mute myself, they won't believe that I seduced that shameless man."

"Then, you will remain mute until the end of your life?"

Ray was silent. The tears that kept pushing out made him mute again. There was nothing else he could do now. Wouldn't death be the best option? There will be no more suffering he will feel.

"This is my business card." Victor put a small piece of paper on the table. "If there's anything you want, just look for me. Whatever that is."

After putting down some money, Victor left. He glanced briefly at the old man who owned the restaurant. Luckily he's deaf. Otherwise, he might interrupt their conversation.

"Is it okay to leave Ray alone?" asked Tama, following in Victor's footsteps.

Let's just say the girl is talking to someone else. Victor had no interest in responding.

"Are you sure he'll be fine if he's left alone? He's not going to try to kill himself again, is he?" Tama clarifies her question.

"Okay. Enough. If you care, why don't you accompany him? Why follow me?" expel Victor.

"But you are my tutor, of course I will follow your actions."

"Yes?" Victor stopped in his tracks. He looked at the strange girl from top to bottom carefully, then continued on his way. "You must have the wrong person."

"Hey, Victor!" Tama took a deep breath. It's not easy to follow Victor's long and fast pace. "I was so focused on Ray that I didn't recognize you right away. But I'm sure, you are Victor."

"I'm busy, feel free to disturb other people."

"I'm serious. Mrs. Ginette has agreed that you'll be my tutor while I'm an apprentice. Shouldn't you be following the foundation's directions?"

Victor chuckled. He blatantly flashed a smile full of ridicule. "You were so confident when you carried the name Ginette. You think I'd be scared just because he's the chairman of the foundation?"

Right on target.

"I-I didn't mean that, it's just-" Tama held her breath as her and Victor's faces were suddenly only centimeters apart. The sharp eyes of a man were digging deep into his net.

"The romantic scene came so soon?" thought Tama.

"Hear. The foundation was founded because I founded it. I appointed Ginette to be the chairman of the foundation, I can also dismiss her at any time. You think he dares to control me?" said Victor.

"I apologize." Tama backed away and lowered her face. "I persuaded Mrs. Ginette, please don't fire her. I'm the one who said, you'll want to because we've known each other before."

***