Chapter Ten

"Why do you keep on hurting me, Keila?" I was shocked because on what he have said.

Naglakad siya papalapit sa'kin, he was still looking at me. Not even breaking the stare. And I hate this rapidly beating whenever he's around.

"Hey.." I approached him. I looked down, avoiding to meet his stares. Alam kong hindi ko matatagalan makipag-tinginan sa kaniya. Malulunod ako sa lalim ng tingin niya sa 'kin.

"Why do you keep on avoiding me?"

"I don't." I replied.

"Why do you keep on ignoring me?" I saw pain driven into his eyes. I couldn't read his mind. Really.

Naguguluhan ako. Why is he asking me this kind of question? Bakit parang kasalanan ko na naman lahat? Ano ba talagang tumatakbo sa isip niya?

Huminga muna ako ng malalim at tiningnan siya. "I'm not avoiding you. I'm just putting myself where I should be placed." I said before leaving him.

Pumasok na ako sa loob at dumeretso sa kama ko. I know I promised Thaddeus that I'll reach for him para makapag-usap kami pero heto ako ngayon, nakahiga sa kama 'ko. Staring at the ceiling and thinking about him. Kung bakit siya nasa labas kanina, kung anong ginagawa niya doon at kung bakit gano'n na lang 'yung mga tanong niya sa'kin kanina.

He really left me puzzled. Wala akong maintindihan sa mga kinikilos ni Dion lately.

May mga times na hindi niya din ako pinapansin, na hindi niya ako kinikibo. At may mga times na kinukulit niya ako. Tulad kanina.

I closed my eyes and let myself sleep.

ㅡ

Kinabukasan ay late akong nakapasok sa trabaho dahil tinanghali na ako ng gising kagabi. Hindi ako halos nakatulog ng maayos, maalimpungatan ako. Hindi pa rin ako pinapatahimik ni Dion mula kagabi. Naiisip ko pa rin siya. At 'yung pinag-usapan namin kagabi.

Why would I hurt him if he's the one who have hurt me first? Why would I avoid him if he's the one who kept on pushing me away as if he doesn't really care for me.

"Kei," Joan called me. We were busy handling some papers of the company.

"What?"

She stared at me for a couple of seconds. "Nakatulog ka ba ng maayos kagabi?"

I nodded. For some reason, I lied. Maybe this lie would prevent her for interrogating me. I didn't wanna speak up for now. Lalo na it's about Dion. At alam kong may something sa kanilang dalawa. Don't wanna cope up with their lives.

"You looked like a zombie for gee's sake, babe!" She was pertaining to the dark circles on my face.

And I know I looked like a mess. Masiyado nang na-occupied ng mga iniisip ko 'yung sarili ko.

Hanggang sa matapos 'yung office hours namin. Tahimik lang kaming nag-lunch ni Joan. We don't do some discussions. Casual lunch lang.

And now we're packing our things. Pauwi na rin naman din kasi kami.

"Are you free on Saturday?"

"Ay! Ayun nga pala. Nakalimutan kong sabihin sa'yo. I can't come with you kasi-" I cut her.

"No, it's okay. P'wede naman ako mag-isa.."

She tried to explain herself pero pinaliwanag ko naman din na okay lang talaga.

Nang makalabas kami ay nandoon si Dion sa labas ng office. Nag-iwas agad ako ng tingin nang magtama ang mga mata namin. Naaalala ko na naman 'yung gabi.

"Ikaw, hindi ka ba sasabay?" Joan asked me. Dion was still looking at me, as if he's waiting for my reply.

I shook my head and smiled at them. Nasa harapan ko pa rin sila, dala dala ni Dion lahat ng gamit ni Joan. Again, I felt a sudden hurt inside of me.

Sana ako nalang si Joan.

"Bakit? May pupuntahan ka pa ba?"

And before I could speak, there's a Lamborghini that is coming near us. Huminto ito sa harap namin at halos malaglag ang panga ko nang makita kung sino ang bumaba sa sasakyan na 'yon.

"Thaddeus?"

He smiled at me. "Hey, how's your day?"

"It went fine.." I said. "By the way, Thaddeus. They're Joan, and Dion. My friends." Diniin ko pa ang salitang friends. Mukha namang naguguluhan ang dalawa. Hindi pa nga pala nila kilala si Thad.

"Thaddeus.." He offered his hand. "Maki's babe."

I got shocked and then hit his arms. "Siraulo ka talaga. Let's go?" He nodded. Nagpaalam naman na kami sa dalawa. Bago pa kami makaalis ay nakita kong nakatiklop ang kamao ni Dion while looking at us.

Tahimik lang kami sa buong biyahe namin ni Thaddeus. He insisted na dadalhin niya ako sa pub nila. Kung saan sila madalas magpractice as a band. At first ayoko pang sumama, ayoko kasing madaming tao. I mean, mahiyain ako okay?

But he assured me na tahimik naman daw 'yung mga ka-band mates niya, isa pa he wants to introduce me sa mga kasamahan niya. So, medyo naging okay naman din sa'kin. Dumaan muna kami sa BFF's para bumili ng makakain. Burger and fries with drinks. Ibinili na rin niya 'yung mga kasamahan niya.

"What if they don't like me?" I asked as soon as we reached the parking lot of their pub.

He turned off the engine then he looked at me then laughed. Seriously? Seryoso akong nagtatanong dito tapos tatawanan niya lang ako?

"Seryoso naman kasi ako!"

"Okay, okay.." Tumigil na din siya sa pagtawa at pinagbuksan ako ng pintuan. "Seriously, Maki. It's not that I'm gonna introduce a girlfriend to my parents."

I pluckered my lips. "Fine.."

Nang makarating kami sa pub nila ay napatingin sila lahat sa aminㅡsa 'kin. Shocked were written on their faces.

Thaddeus breaks the silence by snapping his fingers. "Dickheads, I want you to meet Keila.." He said then wrapped his arms on my shoulder before pulling me closer to him. "My babe."

Natawa nalang ako at kinurot siya sa tagiliran. Hindi naman ako na-awkward-an kasi alam kong ganito talaga siya kakulit.

"Weh? Girlfriend mo 'yan?"

"Nakng. Pinatulan ka niyan?"

"Anong gayuma ginamit mo d'yan?"

Sunod sunod na tukso nila kay Thad. Napabitaw tuloy sa'kin si Thad at pinukol sila ng mga unan sa couch.

Nilibot ko ang paningin ko sa kabuuan ng pub nila. The place is just perfect for the guys. May mga graffitis na instruments inspired. Parang hide-out na rin, pero maganda naman. Quiet but cute.

Habang naka-upo ako sa couch ay todo naman ang entertain nila sa'kin. Halos lahat sila sabay sabay na ang pag-tatanong sa'kin, feeling ko tuloy nasa hot seat ako.

So far naman ay nakilala ko na sila isa isa. From the youngest to eldest, pati mga position nila sa band nalaman ko na. May babae pala silang ka-band mate, si Saphra. Akala ko nung una lalaki siya, boy cut kasi 'yung buhok niya tapos ang astig niya pa kumilos. But, honestly speaking, ang ganda niya and at the same time ang gwapo dahil nga nagmumukha siyang guy.

Nang magdilim na ay nagpaalam na rin ako sa kanila. Ayaw pa nga nila akong pauwiin nung una, pero sinabi ko na kailangan kong makauwi ng maaga. Of course, Thad insisted to drive me home.

"So, kamusta naman sila?" He asked nang maihatid niya na ako.

"Makukulit. Pero mabait naman."

"See? I told you.." I nodded, bumaba na ako sa sasakyan niya and then wave goodbye to him.

He just hit the horn to beeped, sign of his goodbye.

Nang makarating ako sa kwarto ay nakita kong may bouquet ng red roses sa side table and bouquet of chocolates sa kama.

I opened the card on it and reat what is indicated in it.

"Je t'aime, mon tout." And I think my heart just skips a beat upon realizing whose penmanship is this.