Kabanata IV

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My mother keeps telling me not to get in trouble...

A small child heard herself die.

The reason why she was still alive is by ventilators and machines keeping her from joining the souls in the purgatory. Dozens of drugs had paralyzed her physically but not enough to numb the pain from every operation.

I witness how she endured the pain from every cut of scalpels, snip of scissors till the very bone saw ate through her ribcage open. From tissues to organs moved and shifted the scene of torment in front of me like a VIP seat in front row made me taste bile along the intoxicating scent of antiseptic alcohol and medicines invaded my nasal.

It was too much.

I ended up vomiting. Oddly what came out was thick as red as blood. Petrified, I stepped back, completely bothered when it move like wiggling pile of worms and launch to my face.

The squishy nasty thing crawled it's way up to be inside me. Brutal as hungry leaches craving the way termites scrap tasty fresh wood. Before I choke out of air the background shifted.

In response I screamed in panic when they turn into centipedes madly edging to devour me. Fear consumed as I sink deeper into Oblivion. With a loud thud I fell into a hard floor with dirty water. Did this sewer came out of nowhere?! I mentally screamed but then my thoughts were cut off by an unearthly moan. Ugh what now.

I better not be in some kind of horror story. Mentally cursing myself for watching too much zombie movies. The water moves signaling I wasn't alone. Right in the darkness I saw those girls with me in the room before crawling their way to me. Bones where poking out from the flesh with twisted legs and missing forearms. I released a silent scream as I continuously fall into a black abyss. Heart beating excessively fast.

Silver eerie glow blanket my body, reminds me about a Bible text Nadedja was reading in her mobile last month. The story she shared to me unnecessarily when I was in the greenhouse and not in the principal office, away from the guidance counselor and the rest of faculty members. The place was practically falling apart that's why no one disturb the peace in there but her.

She insisted to give company even in my first day in the campus. If I remembered it correctly, it was about an angel named Gabriel showing virgin Mary her fate and how the holy ghost was going to come upon her and she would carry Christ in her womb. From there I pictured God crawling over her but she thinks it's the moonlight.

I came wide awake with a jolt in the middle of the night. Trembling. Forget the smell of dust, rust, newly brewed coffee and decay. Although I must have imagined the coffee part. Damn I would kill for a glass of clean water right now.

The pale moonlight from the crescent moon shone through the bullet holes on the concrete wall near the ceiling what troubles me the most.

I didn't want God on me.

Even by accident.

Flattering my heavy lids open, it took me some time to recognized the foreign darkness. I'm assuming I've slept the whole day. Time seemed to dissipate in this place, just like my will to live slowly was. Not that I had one to begin with but that doesn't mean I'm gonna stay here for the rest of my damned life.

Everything hurts yet I still need to work on getting the heck out of here. It turns out after I fell asleep two of the girls died for putting up a fight. Says Xia herself, the rosenette. Oddly she didn't reacted the same way before. On the other hand I remembered about back in the campsite. The other girl got drag out for being so loud, not gonna doubt that, leaving us two in the stinky room. He's all alone with us in the middle of the lush forest. I want to tell her about my plan but before I could make a move the door creaks open.

"Which one of you contact the police?" The hatchet man hissed.

I frown in confusion. I don't own a single mobile so that leaves one of those girls called before getting killed? Or was it—

My train of thoughts got interrupted by a screaming Xia. She was dragged by the hair with a gun threatening on her head.

"I hate you! Let me go!"

"You just have to make this more difficult ne Ren ren~"

Ren-ren?

I coward back then notice an opening on his side. Without further thinking I charge and shove him hard enough he fell and released Xia in the process.

She ran out of the room leaving me with the crazy dude. So much for gratitude.

I took his hatchet before he gain conscious and chop our heads off. I made a bee line of finding the door while calling out for Xia. What was that earlier? Did they knew each other? With a slam the scorching sun greeted me. My relief will have to wait. The blue and red lights didn't feel the same.

───────•••───────

"How many times do I have to tell you. It wasn't me!" I keep telling the deputy this, and he keeps walking away only to return with another plastic cup of coffee.

The smell of it is making me feel sicker. That taser was no joke. Soon as I woke up she already sold me out to the authorities. Saying I was the killer. The evidence is the hatchet and guess who's the stupid one holding the damn thing.

It's already too late to link the pieces together. That man was after her. We we're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

My theory was supported by her visitation before I undergo interrogation. She thanked me personally for being her scapegoat. I was beyond pissed that pushed me to uppercut punch the coy bitch forgetting the CCTV just in the corner of the ceiling. Damn she's good.

She purposely provoked me so the others will see my destructive self first hand, supporting her story that ends on me as the bad guy. The air tasted stale and toxic as the DA and I lock gazes. I already knew they closed the case the moment they arrested me. I haven't unclench my fists stained with color of dead rose after punching her and other two jail officers. They won't let me wash them.

The corpses were recovered. The manipulative bitch got away with broken nose. No traces from that man. Either he is very crafty or that bitch erased the evidence. She got enough time to do her thing as the deputies arrested me. I added the information in my mental list. Good thing I can read lips otherwise I'll be clueless in this situation. I saw them talking outside the glass. Guess living with a mute for a foster brother for a month pays off. Over all I'm still their suspect.

What's worst than a psychiatric hospital and a shrink proving you have paranoid schizophrenia? None.

Who the fucktard even invited this man anyway?!

Those idiots labelled my case psychotic impulse and now I am bound to be sent in a loony bin. Above all things sane and crazy the car ride was worst than the interrogation room.

"Your parents never hated you. They were afraid of you." He say.

My hands won't stop shaking so I had to sit on them which was ridiculous by the way having them in cuffs behind me.

My mind is still preoccupied about what happened earlier.

"Look at the photo in the table again."

"This has nothing to do with the case."

"If you want out of here you need to cooperate. Now try again."

With a heavy sigh I studied the photo album for the third time. It was a little child, probably six or seven, looking at the camera utterly startled. The next page shows an older version but with warmer aura. I calculated between ten and twelve. He have the face of an angel, eyes of new polished sapphires and a contagious smile. Unconsciously lifting the corner of my lip.

"Familiar?" The vicious son of a bitch seemed eerily amused.

"Nope." Blandly I faced him.

"Don't you recognize your own brother?"

"I'm the only child." I frown.

"The files says otherwise." He threw another brown envelope.

An article about the plane crash both my parents died from. My medical files and custody showing I am under the care of... my brother?

"There must be some mistake. I don't have any sibling."

"Tell me your complete name."

"Lazulum Lapis Lazuli."

"Medieval Latin for a hydrous phosphate of aluminum, iron and magnesium. A crystalline blue mineral." He began talking like a dictionary.

"Tch, think what you want. I don't have time for shits like this—"

"Your real name is Lazulite Azure Sylvanyxrazade Heisē. Suffers from dementia praecox since she was born." The words roll out his tongue

"Y-your lying."

"Your symptoms are consistent with a psychotic disorder characterised by loss contact with the environment. Worsen by the incident you have taken after that..." I wasn't listening anymore. His voice drifted away from my hearing. I feel light-headed.

"Afraid of what you are capable of." The words where pin in my head. Bold and unnerving.

How could that be possibly true? It was the other way around. I was the one afraid of them!

"..delusion, perception as hallucinations and behavior..." He continues to talk but all I hear are echoes of voices but can't grasp on them for the pulsing throb in my skull forbids me to.

It was too much.

My memories where too much for me to handle.

I.. I can't breathe!

"Marked by deteriorated cognitive functioning often with emotional apathy. It's rare, but we know that trauma to specific areas of the temporal lobe can cause—"

"This is bollocks!" I slammed both my fist in the table. He fixed his eyes on me before lifting an air tight bag with a rectangular object half burnt covered.

"It's yours, isn't it?" He waved it teasingly in front of my face. I haven't seen it before but why it is making my blood boil?

"I'll take that as a yes. Now be a good girl and elaborate us about the explosion in the Heisē Manor two years ago."

Psychology says that the brain does not record videos of experience.

It takes snapshots of important parts for the person to fill in the gaps.

This can also lead to false memories.

I grew accustomed alone in my thoughts but right now I'm so furious that I can't think!

Before. It's easy not to trust anyone

Yet now... things are different.

How can I trust myself if I can't separate reality from contrivance?

The unusual fire.

Like a broken record the scene plays in my head over and over. The river of blood running on the marble floor. The small boy dangling by the white sheets. The place was from a nightmare itself. So much death. Within just a snap many lives where taken. Yet something doesn't add up. Something that lurks in the dark keeps popping to block that certain memory.

Lazuli...

Who was that shadow?

Lazulith..

Why my body when numb whenever that distant voice calls me.

La..zu..lith....

Taunting me like how that shrink did.

"I see you're struggling on jogging in your memory lane." I scoffed by his insult. Why this asshole—

"Onul nalsshi nun ch'am arumtapchiyo?"

"....Eh?" I almost palm faced if it's not the cuffs but damn this old man is too much for my sanity. "Why bring this up now?"

"Loosen up kid. This play house was over the time that camera to your seven stopped blinking."

"Olmana kollimnikka?"

With a simple smile I almost rip the cuffs apart.

"Ch'on-ma-ne-yo~"

those where his last words before leaving me on my own.

Figuratively, that is.

Well played Triton. Well played.

But my father he told me he knew I would.