Prologue and Chapter 1: Not Again…

I smiled as I looked down at the text on my phone.

"Cya in a week. Good luck at University! Gnight." – Melanie.

2 weeks had passed since the events of the first island incident and a week since our cruise ship docked.

"Marry me, Fiona!" Paula shouted from the top of her lungs as soon as we stepped off the ship. Fiona however, just looked at her with her usual blank expression.

"I'm leaving the country."

"What!"

"I'm going back to Canada; I hope I never see you again."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Paula cried dropping to her knees and banging her fist onto the ground. Melanie and I just laughed witnessing the sight.

"Say, Xavier…"

"Yeah?"

When I looked down at Melanie she appeared flustered slightly as she twirled her hair.

"You want my phone number? I live pretty close you know."

"Oh uh sure… yeah it would be nice to hang out. Maybe we can go on an adventure?"

"Yeah! Like to the Animal Kingdom."

"Ahahaha... if you pay for the trip maybe,"

Since then Melanie and I had been texting back and forth. She kept in contact with Fiona as well who sent pictures of herself riding a moose in Canada. As for Paula, she retained her job of being Melanie's bodyguard after the cruise trip, for a few days at least.

"Have you seen her around?" Melanie texted me earlier today, "She's been MIA for 2 days now."

"Don't think so," I texted back, "I'm sure she'll turn up eventually."

"Whatever, to be honest, she wasn't a very good bodyguard."

"Yeah…."

I turned off my phone preparing to end the conversation, the memories of the island seemed so distant now.

"Urghh… why must real life be so boring," I sighed as I dredged the thought of taking marketing classes the next day. "If only…"

*Beep*

My text message alert sounded. On my phone was a picture of a cat that Melanie used as her profile photo. I raised an eyebrow and unlocked my phone.

"Say, Xavier… I know school starts tomorrow, but are you free next weekend?"

My heart skipped a beat.

"Oh my god, it's happeninggggg," I thought. "Alright keep it cool keep it cool."

"Uhhh sure… no plans as of now, what's up?"

"I was just wondering since I'm not really doing anything next week either if you wanted to hang out somewhere?"

"Oh god, what do I say?" I thought, "This is a date right? She's asking me out on a date? Okay… keep it cool keep it cool."

"Sure, anyplace in particular you want to go?"

"Mmmm… I've been thinking about a few places. I'm serious about the Animal Kingdom; I heard that place is sick!"

"I'm pretty sure it's just a huge zoo…"

"Yeah, a huge zoo where you can be with the animals. You think they have cats there?"

"I'm pretty sure they have cafes if that's all you want to see..."

We conversed back and forth for a while discussing what to do and where to go. In the end, though, we couldn't really think of an adequate destination. Everything seemed so boring in comparison to the island.

"Well, whatever…" She finally texted, "It doesn't really matter where we go, I just want something to do next week. It's getting pretty late anyways we can discuss this later. Cya in a week. Good luck at University. Gnight."

"Gnight!" I texted back. As I did, a grin appeared on my face as I put my phone back on my desk.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh oh my god, a date, I'm actually going on a date with Melanie ahahahahahaha."

I said out loud as I began hugging my pillow and rolling around in my bed.

"This is the greatest day of my life!" I said out loud again. I stopped rolling for a moment.

"Wait but… what do I wear? Should I get some cologne? No no this is Melanie we're talking about. I literally know her; it's not some random first date. Keep it casual yeah yeah casual casual."

Despite those words, however, I still couldn't contain my excitement as I began hugging my pillow again.

"Oh, whatever, it doesn't matter where we go as long as I'm with you," I said as I closed my eyes and began kissing my pillow.

"Ohhhh Melanie you're so cute you know that?"

I began making out furiously with my pillow.

"Mmmmmm I bet that tasted good didn't it."

As I opened my eyes again, however…

"I bet that tasted…"

I noticed a pair of legs next to my bed.

"Good"

I froze in place. As I looked up from the legs to see who was there, the scariest thing possible appeared in front of me. A demon who haunted my every nightmare. A monster who showed absolutely no mercy towards me and my feelings and who at the time was wearing a red sweatshirt and blue jeans. A certain well-endowed woman, with blonde hair, and a smartphone out recording me.

"Pau… Paula?!"

"AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH oh my god"

She burst into laughter falling to the ground.

"Oh my god, I can't believe you… ahahahahahahahahahaha."

"Paula what the hell why are you… did you record me just now?"

"Yep check it out!"

She raised up her smartphone and began playing my shameful actions.

"Ohhhh Melanie you're so cute you…"

"AHHHHHHHH DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW!" I shouted trying to grab her phone. Unfortunately, Paula's reaction was too quick as she held her phone away causing me to fall onto the ground instead.

"Hell no, this is the exact kind of blackmail I need for you to help me."

"Help… Paula, what the hell are you talking about?" I said looking up. "And why the hell are you even here? Melanie told me you've been missing for 2 days."

"You ever heard of the show 'Breaking Bad'?"

"…"

"It's about this chemistry teacher who…"

"YES, I'VE HEARD OF BREAKING BAD!" I shouted sitting back on my bed.

"Oh good then you know the plot."

"… I don't like where this is going."

*Wee-hoooo Wee-hoooo*

"… Paula?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do I hear police sirens outside my house?"

"Ahhhhh well, long story."

As she said that, she reached into her sweatshirt pocket and pulled out some bags filled with white powder.

"Is that…"

"$10,000 worth of pure snow baby."

"…"

"Paula Newman, put your hands up! We have you surrounded!" a voice from outside shouted.

"Yeah sooo… dipshit, as you can see I'm in a bit of a bind right now. Money's just too good to stay off the streets you know. So, think you can help me out?"

"So much for character development… also hell no! Get the hell out of my…"

But before I could finish my sentence, Paula held up her smartphone again.

"Ohhhh Melanie you're so cute you know that? Mmmmm…"

"I still have Melanie's phone number so…"

"Alright alright!" I said covering my ears in embarrassment. "What do you want?"

"Oh not much, just you know, a ride out of here. You have a license, don't you? I'm pretty sure they teach everyone to drive in high school."

"…"

"You do know how to drive right?"

"… You are so lucky my parents are still in Alaska."

Hurriedly we raced down to my garage. As we both got on and opened the garage door, however…

"Put your hands up and no one gets hurt!"

Standing outside were several cop cars lined up on the street as well as a few cops outside with their pistols up.

"Shit Paula what do we do, I think you should just…"

"Move aside dipshit!"

The delinquent grabbed the keys from my hand threw me into the shotgun seat and got into the driver's seat herself. With no hesitation, she started the engine and began backing up my dad's car.

"Paula, Paula what are you…"

"FUCK THE POPO!" She shouted as she crashed into a few cops before hitting the acceleration.

"Paula what the hell! I'm pretty sure you just killed a few cops."

"Nah they'll be fine! This is my stance against police brutality anyways."

"Somehow I doubt that was on your mind just now…"

The cops began shooting at us with a few bullets shattering the tail lights but nothing damaging enough that could prevent Paula from speeding across the whole neighborhood until she reached the main road.

"Hell yeah! They won't catch us if we just blend in. Where do you think we should go? Canada maybe? I miss toots. That's not far from Miami right?"

"… You have no idea how geography works do you?"

"Not at all!"

"Paula Newman please stop your car, we have you surrounded."

Suddenly a light flashed from above.

"What the…"

As I looked out the window and looked up, I noticed a helicopter flying and shining a light down at us.

"Don't worry, I know exactly what to do in this situation," Paula shouted.

"How exactly?" I asked examining the road. Paula had slowed down considerably given the fact we were on a busy road surrounded by other vehicles making it impossible to pass through.

"Hang on dipshit!"

"Wait wait Paula Paula!"

Without warning, the maniac suddenly swerved onto the shoulder of the road accelerating to nearly 3 times the speed limit.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO let's go!" she shouted as cars everywhere began beeping.

"Paula,"

"You enjoying the ride dipshit?"

"Paula!"

"Reminds you of that one challenge back on the island don't it? Shit I bet I would have driven better than toots"

"PAULA LOOK OUT YOU FUCKING MORON!"

"Huh?"

When she finally looked up, however, it was already too late as we approached a bridge area with the shoulder of the road leading directly off a cliff.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

We both screamed in unison when Paula couldn't hit the brakes in time.

"Whelp." She said as we began to fall, "It's been a good life."

I sighed

"I better get isekai'd to a fantasy world after this…"

…

…

As my life flashed before my eyes and I thought about the endless hours I spent playing "League of Legends" that I will never be getting back, a light suddenly flashed in my eyes blinding me. Just like people said would happen before death.

"Wh… what?"

…

…

After about a minute, the light suddenly stopped flashing and my vision returned to me. I noticed I was lying on the ground. A ground that appeared to be a sandy beach with a few palm trees in the area.

"What the, did I die?"

"Xa… Xavier?"

As I looked up, however, there I saw the puzzled look of a small, dark-haired survival extraordinaire looking down at me. She was even wearing the same swimsuit from the first island.

"Melanie?"

Chapter 1: Not Again…

"Melanie?"

As my vision began to clear further; I saw another familiar face. A certain quiet red-haired Canadian android turned human staring at me blankly.

"Fi… Fiona?"

"Woah holy shit it's toots!"

I turned to my right to see Paula who had apparently landed next to me. For some reason, she was somehow wearing a red swimsuit again. Fiona was in her blue swimsuit again. As I looked down at my body, I noticed for some reason the seaweed shorts that looked like a skirt from the first island had also returned on me. Why did this happen? I don't know magic I guess.

As I pondered these philosophical questions, Paula suddenly sprang up in the air as she leaped towards Fiona for a hug. Fiona however, just looked at her blinking once before quickly catching her and reversing her body motion to pin Paula's head onto the ground.

"Please die."

"Ahahahaha, good to see you too."

I looked over at Melanie who awkwardly darted her eyes back and forth before looking at me and waving.

"Good… good to see you, Xavier."

Awkwardly I waved back.

"Good to see you too…"

This wasn't right. I wasn't used to seeing Melanie act coyly. It didn't sit right with me, to be honest. I had to do something or this story was quickly going to turn into another boring romance. I took a deep breath.

"Melanie,"

"Yeah?"

"How the hell did we end up here? This has something to do with your BL addiction again doesn't it?"

"What! As if!" she replied, "I was just in my room, writing my wholesome fanfiction before bedtime for my readers minding my own business. When suddenly, a light came out of nowhere, and boom, I end up here in my swimsuit and see Fiona appear out of nowhere, then the two of you appear out of nowhere as well."

"And what tag did that fanfiction have?"

"Adventure! Wholesome adventure!" she cried. She then looked down at the ground.

"And maybe a bit of the Yaoi tag as well."

"I knew it! This has to be your fault!"

"What how?"

"We only ever get stuck on islands because of your BL addiction! Why would I think this time is any different?"

"Ah! The nerve. There is no way that is why we got teleported to this island. I thought I explained this to you already there is a difference between degenerate BL stories and what I'm writing. I am writing wholesome adventure stories that just so happen to have two leads that are both male and roommates! Nothing wrong with that. Even if it was BL, are you anti-LGBT Xavier? This is why we can't make political progress."

"What the… me!?! You're the one fetishizing it! If anything, that's what's pushing the movement backward."

"I was on a moose."

"Huh?"

We turned to Fiona who was sticking her hand out to keep Paula away.

"I was riding a moose," she said with her usual blank expression.

"I was enjoying Canada. Suddenly a light flash came. Next, I was here with Melanie."

"Oh, I'll be your moose if you want!" Paula said still attempting to hug her. Fiona sighed as she lifted her up and slammed her back down on the ground.

"That hurt but I still enjoyed it because it was you!"

As Paula lay down on her back, Melanie walked up to stand over her.

"And where have you been Paula? It's been two days; I was worried sick! Also… I'm pretty sure my dad is going to fire you soon if you don't come back to work."

"I… I was playing Grand Theft Auto," Paula replied weakly lifting up a finger.

"What? Like the video game?"

"Wait," I began, "I don't think she means…"

"With Xavier over there helping."

"What!" Melanie turned and glared at me angrily. "That's what you were doing?"

"Wait no Melanie there seems to be a misunderstanding."

"This whole time while I was worried sick, you knew where she was and played video games with her?!"

"No no! Melanie hold on that's not what happened. What really happened was…"

"NTR?" Fiona asked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO definitely not. I'm still a virgin! Fiona, what the fuck where the hell did you even learn that term?"

"SILENCE SILLY HUMANS! NONE OF YOUR PUNY LIVES MATTER!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

A cold sweat dripped down all our necks as a familiar ominous voice boomed from above.

"Are you kidding me… is that…"

"INDEED DIPSHIT IT IS I! NED! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

The 4 of us collectively groaned as we looked up into the sky.

"Not you again, what the hell do you want now?" Paula asked.

"Yeah! I thought we finished your trials." Melanie added, "That was the deal! What happened to your boss uhhh… Kane or Kenny? Whatever that guy's name was."

"OHHHHH YOU MEAN KINO? MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

As Ned continued to laugh ominously, a podium suddenly appeared from the ground in front of us. On it was a single piece of paper with words.

"WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THIS? MWHAHAHAHAHAHA."

I took the paper and began reading it out loud.

"Although "Stuck on an Island with my Boss's Daughter" was originally planned to be a standalone book, due to the fact that it has currently sold 5 times as many copies as all my other books combined… I have decided that a sequel is probably a good idea."

"Sell out…" Fiona said.

"Yeah seriously, this is almost as bad as when he wrote a book about scamming high schoolers," Paula added.

"What? What are you guys talking about? Isn't this a TV show?"

"TV SHOWS, NOVELS, IT'S ALL THE SAME IN THE END ONLY ONE THING REALLY MATTERS BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA AND THAT'S PROFIT MARGINS!"

"What? I thought you said it was about ratings last time."

"IT IS BUT DON'T GET IT TWISTED DIPSHIT. RATINGS ARE JUST A MEANS TO THE END WHICH IS SALES. AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS YOUR PLUSHIE TOYS HAVE BEEN SELLING THROUGH THE ROOF WITH OUR AUDIENCE."

"What! You made plushies of us without permission?"

"THAT'S RIGHT! AND THE FIONA ONES ARE SELLING AT A RECORD PACE. JUST LOOK AT THIS CHART!"

Suddenly the ground opened up in front of us again and this time a TV on a stand popped out. It turned on showing a pie chart of our plushy sales.

"SO AS YOU CAN SEE, OVER 100,000 UNITS OF THE FIONA PLUSHIES SOLD. A SMASH HIT WITH OUR AUDIENCE. MELANIE IS DOING FAIRLY WELL TOO IN SECOND WITH 40,000 UNITS SOLD."

As I looked closer at the chart, I noticed Paula and my slice couldn't even be seen.

"Wait what? Did dipshit and I not get any sales?"

"HUH? OH SORRY LET ME JUST ZOOM IN A LITTLE."

The chart began zooming into Paula's slice.

"JUST GIVE IT A SECOND, NEED TO ADJUST THE SCALES HERE."

After about a minute of zooming, we finally arrived at the number.

"4! IN TOTAL 4 PAULA PLUSHIES SOLD! ALL TO ONE INDIVIDUAL."

"Wooooo let's go I got a super fan!" Paula said pumping her fists in the air in celebration.

"AND AS FOR DIPSHIT."

The chart moved downward. After about another minute, it arrived at my own slice.

"3 UNITS! XAVSHIT'S PLUSH SOLD 3 UNITS."

"Ha! I win!" Paula shouted.

"Con… congrats?"

The TV in front of us turned off again. A hole in the ground opened up allowing the TV to slide back in.

"SO YEAH, AS YOU CAN SEE SILLY HUMANS, YOU WERE QUITE POPULAR WHICH IS WHY YOU WERE RENEWED FOR ANOTHER SEASON!"

"And what if we refuse?"

"Yeah, we don't have to do whatever you say, Ned!" Melanie added, "Your island challenges are lame and unoriginal!"

"YOU'RE LAME AND UNORIGINAL MELANIE! ESPECIALLY YOUR FANFICS! ANYWAYS, I KNEW YOU SILLY HUMANS WOULDN'T COMPLY TO THE SAME CONDITIONS AS LAST SEASON, SO WE'RE UPPING THE ANTE THIS TIME MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"What? You're going to threaten to destroy the world or something?" Paula asked.

"…"

A great silence befell us from the sky.

"…"

"That's it, isn't it? You're just planning to destroy the world if we fail? That's sooooo unoriginal."

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. JUST BECAUSE IT'S BEEN DONE DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT A GOOD PREMISE OKAY. AND I'M REALLY GOING THROUGH WITH IT YOU KNOW! EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE ON EARTH WILL BE EVISCERATED EXCEPT CANADA!"

"We won't let you get away with this Ned!" I shouted, "We'll… wait why Canada?"

"Canada based,"

"FIONA IS INDEED CORRECT. CANADA IS VERY BASED. WE CANNOT DESTROY THE ABSOLUTE CENTER OF FINE ARTS, CULTURE, HISTORY, AVRIL LAVIGNE, AND MAPLE SYRUP. EVERYTHING ELSE CAN GO THOUGH."

"… well, either way, we'll still stop you, Ned! Right guys?"

As I turned to face everyone, however, Melanie and Paula just began whistling innocently while Fiona just continued to look at the sky deadpan.

"Guys?"

"Actually… I'm quite alright with the world ending," Paula said.

"What!?"

She looked up at the sky.

"Say, Ned, if Earth is destroyed that means my criminal record is wiped clean again right?"

"UHHH... I GUESS SINCE THERE WON'T BE ANY POLICE OFFICERS LEFT, IT WILL BE BY DEFAULT"

"Yeah, I think that's a win for me, I don't know if I can fight for humanity. Not really looking to spend time in the slammer after what happened."

"You realize Paula that if Earth is destroyed, Pokémon will be as well right?"

"Meh, Scarlet was a disappointment, to be honest."

"Earth destroyed is okay."

"What the…"

I turned to Fiona who looked back at me with a blank expression.

"Humanity was a mistake except for Canada."

She then turned back to look at the sky again.

"Humanity was a mistake. Please return me to Android."

"I… WHAT…"

"No what! Fiona, you can't be an Android again! That goes against your whole character growth on the island. You were supposed to be humanized!"

Fiona however simply shook her head.

"No… humanity was a mistake. Return to Android"

"I have a question, Ned."

We turned now to Melanie.

"So let's say you do manage to destroy all of Earth. What's going to happen to us?"

"UH… I MEAN…"

"Can we at least get a cool spaceship to explore space?"

"What! Melanie, that's what you're thinking about?"

"Yeah I mean, we're the stars of the show, right? They can destroy Earth but they can't destroy us if we're the ones bringing in the profit."

"WELL, THAT'S…"

"Don't toy with us, Ned! We have the leverage! Even if you destroy Earth I'd like a cool spaceship to explore space!"

"I… ALRIGHT, I'LL CHECK IF WE HAVE THOSE AVAILABLE."

"Melanie what the heck! You realize if Earth is destroyed everyone you know there besides us will die right?!"

"Yeah, but… cool spaceship."

"Melanie your parents!"

"Mmmm… I don't know, it's a 50/50."

"Yeah, like Mels said, we're the ones with leverage Ned!" Paula shouted, "You're going to have to do better than destroying Earth to get us to participate!"

"You guys…"

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I GET IT I GET IT. GRRRRRR… YOU HUMANS ARE SO INFURIATING. ALRIGHT, ALONG WITH NOT DESTROYING EARTH, I WILL GRANT ALL 3 OF YOU ONE WISH WITHIN MY POWER."

"I want a Fiona plushy!" Paula yelled.

"…THOSE ARE SOLD OUT."

"Alright, destroy Earth then."

"FINE FINE WE'LL MAKE MORE, YOU'LL GET ONE IN THE NEXT BATCH."

"Sweet."

"What Paula, what about your criminal record. You're still going to jail you realize right?"

"Meh… I'm okay with that if I get a plushy."

"Make me an Android again," Fiona said deadpan looking at the sky.

"I UHHH… ARE YOU SURE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT FIONA? I MEAN… WE KINDA BRANDED YOUR MERCH STATING YOU'RE NOW A HUMAN"

"Retcon it."

"…ALRIGHT FINE YOU CAN BE AN ANDROID AGAIN."

"And a cool hand that can change into weapons."

"BUT THE PRODUCTION COST OF TOYS…"

"I don't care."

"…FINE SINCE YOU ARE THE BIGGEST STAR FIONA, WE'LL GRANT YOU THAT WISH IF YOU WIN."

"Give me a spaceship still!" Melanie yelled.

"…OKAY LIKE I SAID I'LL CHECK WITH…"

"You want us on the show or not!?"

"FINE FINE ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'LL GET YOU A SPACE SHIP JEEZ. THESE COSTS ARE REALLY ADDING UP, YOU BETTER CREATE GOOD CLIPPABLE CONTENT. ALRIGHT DIPSHIT, WHAT'S YOUR WISH, YOU WANT ME TO WIPE THAT VIDEO ON PAULA'S PHONE?"

"Wha… What?!?! How do you know about that?"

"Xavier…"

"Ye… Yes, Melanie?"

"What's this tape Ned's talking about?"

"Sex tape?" Fiona asked.

"no…"

"NOOOOOOOO Definitely not! Alright alright, I get it, delete it Ned delete it! That's my wish."

"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PREDICTABLE AS USUAL XAVSHIT. AND IF YOU LOSE, THAT'S GOING TO BE CONTENT THAT GETS PLAYED ALL THROUGHOUT THE MULTIVERSE!"

"… guys, we better not lose. I believe in the power of friendship."

"Sssssss I don't know Xavscrewed, either way." Paula said, "I think it would be pretty funny if the universe saw that video. I happened to retain my smartphone with me as well."

"Wait what?"

Paula reached into the bra of her swimsuit and pulled out to my horror, the smartphone she had recorded me with.

"AHHHH What the fuck, why do you have that?"

"Mmmmmm… Xavier…" Melanie said pouting and looking at me judgmentally. "What's so bad about that video? Tell me! I don't like secrets, Xavier!"

"Wait no no… you don't understand. Grrr…"

I leapt towards Paula who pulled her phone away causing me to fall onto the ground.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, SAVE IT FOR THE ACTUAL SHOW. WE'RE WASTING PRECIOUS AIRTIME. THE ACTUAL SHOW HAS TO START SOON."

"Wait what? We're already on air?"

"ON YOUR FOCUSED CHANNEL YEAH."

"Focused…"

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT, LET'S GO TO COMMERCIAL. WHEN WE COME BACK, DIMENSION 14'S SILLY HUMANS WILL BE TRANSPORTED TO MAIN STAGE!"

"Main stage?"

"HERE WE GO!"

*Rumble Rumble*

"What the…"

The ground beneath us began to shake as a square area roughly 1000 feet by 1000 feet of this "Island" we were on detached from the ground propelling into the air. Before we knew it, just like the first island adventure, we were propelled high in the sky toward space.

As I looked up into the sky at where the island was headed, an even larger patch of land appeared above my head floating in the sky. In the middle of the patches of land appeared to be a hole in the middle which our island proceeded to float right in fitting like a puzzle.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! WE WELCOME NOW OUR FINAL TEAM!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Around the area we were on were large walls with benches above like some sort of coliseum, where the same tiki mask aliens that were observing us on the first island once again sat cheering.

"Oh jeez, not this again…"

"Wait, final team? What do you mean Ned?"

"I'M GLAD YOU ASKED MELANIE I'M ABOUT TO EXPLAIN"

As Ned said that, the ground in front of us suddenly opened up a bit as a large screen television monitor popped up from the ground. When the TV turned on, its screen split into 32 different parts all showing…

"O… Other humans" I gasped.

"THAT'S RIGHT DIPSHITS; YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY SILLY HUMANS IN THE MULTIVERSE? HA! WE RUN THIS SHOW IN 32 DIFFERENT UNIVERSES BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. AND THIS TIME YOU'LL BE COMPETING WITH ALL OF THEM FOR THE SURVIVAL OF YOUR PLANET!"

"Wow, that is some unrealistic power scaling Ned," Melanie said.

"WHAT NO IT'S…"

"Yeah I don't know Ned," Paula added, "This seems pretty unoriginal. Isn't this just like 'The Hunger Games?'"

"WHAT THE HOW? THEY KILL EACH IN THAT BOOK. THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT. AND IN THIS SHOW YOU WILL STILL BE DOING TRIALS WITH TEAMS GETTING ELIMINATED EACH TIME."

"Oh so like the squid games," Melanie said.

"NO… NOT LIKE THE SQUID GAMES BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN, NO ONE WILL BE DYING! YOU'RE ALL FIGHTING FOR YOUR PLANET'S SURVIVAL!"

"Copyright problem," Fiona said, "Rick and Morty did this already."

"NO, THEY DIDN'T. THAT WAS LITERALLY JUST ONE CHALLENGE WHERE THEY HAD TO SING WHICH WILL NOT BE ONE OF OUR TRIALS."

"Mmmm… I don't know Ned," Melanie said, "I'm pretty sure you can get sued for this."

"NO, I CHECKED THE DAMN COPYRIGHT LAWS WE'RE FINE. SIGH, ALRIGHT ENOUGH WASTING AIRTIME LET ME JUST EXPLAIN HOW THIS WILL GO. LIKE THE LAST SEASON, YOU 4 WILL BE DOING TRIALS EVERY 2 DAYS. THIS TIME AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, YOU WILL BE COMPETING WITH TEAMS FROM OTHER MULTIVERSES THAT ARE ALSO CURRENTLY STUCK ON THEIR OWN ISOLATED ISLAND ONBOARD.

"Yeah but, is that really being stuck on an island though?" Paula asked. "This doesn't seem like much of an island to me."

"GRRRR… ALRIGHT FINE HERE YOU KNOW WHAT."

Suddenly water began floating on the side of the walls. After a while, the land mass we were on was completely surrounded by water.

"THERE HAPPY? IT'S DEFINITELY AN ISLAND NOW."

"Why does this matter at all?" I asked.

"One day you'll understand Xavier," Paula replied.

"OKAY ANYWAYS… EACH ROUND A CERTAIN NUMBER OF TEAMS WILL BE ELIMINATED. HOW MANY TEAMS ARE ELIMINATED EACH TIME WILL DEPEND ON THE TRIAL. BY THE FINAL TRIAL, HOWEVER, ONLY ONE TEAM WILL REMAIN WHOSE PLANET… MELANIE ARE YOU LISTENING?"

"Huh, what? Yeah sure sure squid games basically."

Melanie was staring at one of the screens on television where the group on the screen only showed 4 buff dudes hugging each other.

"Say… Ned, what planet is that one?" Melanie asked, a dumb grin on her face.

"THAT'S PLANET 6 WHERE ALL THE HUMANS ON THAT PLANET ARE BUFF MALES."

"What? How do they reproduce then?"

I immediately regretted my decision to ask as soon as the words left my mouth as I noticed Melanie's grin become even dumber as she looked at the screen with her nose beginning to bleed.

"OKAY, THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH OF THAT!"

"Wait no!"

A hole opened up as the TV began sliding back underground.

"Noooooooooo Yaoi planet, take me with you," Melanie cried as the hole closed.

"FRICKEN… ALRIGHT, WE'RE ALREADY OUT OF TIME FOR THIS EPISODE. JUST BE READY IN 2 DAYS, WE'LL SPAWN A HOLE IN THE GROUND FOR YOU TO SLIDE DOWN INTO OUR BATTLE ARENA. ALRIGHT GOOD BYE!"

As he said that, a metal dome separating the crowd from us began to go up. The lights attached to the side walls made everything bright still, however.

"Wait, Ned what about food?!" I shouted.

"Forget that, do we get mini prizes again? I want a plushy!" Paula yelled.

"OH RIGHT UHHH… HERE YOU GO."

A podium suddenly spawned from under the ground. On it were 16 lunch boxes. Fiona went up to open one of them.

"Poutine. Nice."

"OH, AND I GUESS TO KEEP YOU ENTERTAINED, I WILL BE PROVIDING YOU WITH THIS."

Another podium spawned from the ground, this time with a rectangular box on it. I walked up towards it to see what the box read.

"Monopoly? Really? What, is one of our challenges going to involve capitalism or something?"

"MWHAHAHAHA IT JUST MIGHT XAIVSHIT IT JUST MIGHT. ALRIGHT, MY SHIFT'S DONE SEE YOU IN 2 DAYS."

And as Ned's voice disappeared I looked around at my surroundings. To my right was Paula who was walking around the island playing Pokémon Go on her smartphone. To my left was Fiona who was already beginning to munch on the poutine. And in front of me was Melanie who I think collapsed from too much blood loss from her nose earlier. Whelp, it's good to be back I suppose.