Chapter II
Flashback: 9th Grade
"I could just wow you with random, meaningless words I picked up from watching too many series, but I want to be real with you. You're not my type, but there's something about you that just draws me to you. It might be your beauty or innocence in your eyes. It might be that you think that we are in two different leagues which will never cross paths. Or maybe it's your pure soul that reflects in the way you interact with people, popular or not. I can't figure it out, but I want to stay and find out. I want you to be mine, and I will be yours. I don't even mind that what I am doing, at the moment, is social suicide, I'm in love with you... so what do you say?" he asks, sounding so sweet and full of the love I've been seeking for.
And here I am, in shock... shocked out of my mind. he is holding my hand. He is caressing my hand. He is asking me out... wait, what? Snap! This is happening. But, why? And why am I not answering the question? "Hello?" my subconscious tries to wake me out from the shocking state I am still in. "The answer is no. Just say it. No matter if he is SO delicious to look at. It's still a no," my subconscious states. She's right. It's still a "no", no matter how much I want him to be mine. He is a Casanova. "My answer is no"...
End of Flashback
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While buttoning up my school shirt, my thoughts are just all over the place. My emotions are more on the negative side of things. Why am I nervous? It's just the same place I've been going to every year. Every weekday for 6 whole hours. Luckily I didn't gain weight. Who am I kidding? I am hardly breathing in this uniform pants. 06:55... Shit! I'm gonna be late. "Mom! Could I get a lift, please?" I shout while I catch up with my morning routine of brushing my imperfect teeth. "Okay, dear. I'm leaving in 5 minutes!" Mom response happily. She's such a morning person. Why didn't I inherit that gene though? While drifting into planet Tanis, I accidentally roughly pushed too far into my throat.
"Shit!" I cry out. "What?" Mom questioned. Oh shit, I forgot that to her, I'm a saint in the swearing department. "Oh, nothing. I was saying snap. I was talking to myself. Thinking about music, mom. Nothing big or bad," I lie while trying to sound convincing and sweet. "Okay. We better get going now or we'll be late," she says. I grab my handbag and throw everything I need for the day. I didn't need my books because we usually do nothing in the first two days of the school year. "Okay," I say while running to the door. School mornings are always so hectic.
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"Tan baby!" Lexi shuts. Lexi is my friend. Well, more than that. She's more like a sister to me. She's more like a sister to me. She is your typical Miss Popular. With the most perfect hair, every girl turns green with envy when she comes around the corner. Her body... Well words cannot describe her body. Her eyes, being as big and beautiful as they are, contain so much pain which shows her human quality. Calling her a goddess would be an overstatement, but she is close to that level. "Hey Lex," I say, overjoyed to see her. "So have you heard the news?" she asks with a depressing tone.
"Heard what now? Is there another mediocre sex video?" I ask, with boredom wrapped around my firm voice while starring at students coming from every direction. Here at Southern High School, we are not only famous for our academic work and achievements, but also porn. That's why this school is also known as Slut High School. not the most creative name, but it suits most girls here. "So?" I asked impatiently. For someone who seems like I don't give a rat's ass about life, I sure am curious. "Well apparently the SGB (school governing body) decided to be bitches and spice things up this year and make changes for the senior class," she states. "Excuse me, what!?" my subconscious shouts in panic. I, on the other hand, am on my calm mode.
"Oh..." is all I could say. Annoyed by my own lack of response, I continued, "Hopefully, we'll finally b in the same class," planting a polite smile while looking at her direction. "And hopefully I won't be in the same class a s Cole," she says and I can't help but stare at her in disbelieve. "We both know you would love that," I say rolling my eyes and we both burst into laughter at the statement.
Cole Patten, or Mr. Ginger head (around close friends), is Lexi's fling guy or whatever. People never really could say what those two are to each other, but Lexi had some attraction towards him and Col couldn't keep his eyes off her. And don't get me wrong, nothing was wrong with him. Cole is a delicious. His ripped, muscular body is just what the doctor prescribed. His height is beautiful as well, with a boyish jock look with a hint of ginger colored hair, he is Lexi's match made in heaven. But clearly, she sees him in a different eye. I personally think she's just in denial.
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"Announcements for the day, as you students know it is the first day of the school term, so you need to be allocate to your respected register classes," the deputy principal said while spitting into the mic. I wonder if the mic smells when thinking of how many people use it. "The 8th and 9th graders will meet at the fish pond. 10th graders, at the blah blah blah..." he continues to speak and I decide to zone out. I admire how excited the 8th graders are and how the look forward to exploring the next chapter in their lives.
"Hello? Wake up," Samantha snaps me out of my thoughts. "Hey Sam, I didn't see you there," I said, happy to se her. "You didn't. I've been here for 10 minutes no and you haven't shown me my love," she says while pulling in for a tight hug. Samantha is one f my many friends who I feared in the beginning. She's a short, hour glass figured girl, with clear glowing skin all over and a bob cut. She has a strong personality or in other words, she's bitchy as hell. She hates everyone mostly, but a caring heart buried deep. I missed her during the holidays. "Guys, we should closer to know where we are going," Lexi says while pulling us.
We move closer... to close for my liking. "Why are we standing next to them?" my subconscious asks. "Them" referring to the A-team. Pardon me... the glorious A-team. For example, first up is Blake. he is the cutest thing to ever hit puberty. He is short, cubby on all the right places and has a smile that could just melt your heart. With brown eyes, one can't help but love him. He tried the front of being tough, but he just gets so adorable. I actually can tolerate him. He is sweet, quiet, reserved and hates drama. He is like the teddy bear never had.
Next on the list is Mack.... the MAN-WHORE of all man whores at Southern High. He is a textbook fuckboy, but even more when experiencing him visually. Dark brown hair, a beauty spot on top of his left eyebrow, hazel eyes, perfect ass, abs... wow. The guy is a true definition of a model. Then it's Cole. Well, Lexi's "man". Lastly, the leader of this typical crew is Jason. Formally known as Jason carter, to me known as butter voice. He is, what can I say?
Okay in the looks department, well he is a Greek god in a nutshell. Girls worship the ground he walks on. He is academically intelligent, a great asset to the athletics team. A teacher's pet. A ladies' man. He is worthy of the title of "Mr. Popular". Southern High is his empire and we are his servants. As life goes, every king needs a queen, and she was Kimberly Formen. She is pure reflection of heaven, with red normally straight hair, a Victoria Secret model's body and a smile that dentists would be proud to have as a display.
She is just heavenly with her pitch-black eyes. She plays the role of a best friend, close friend, friend and godly leader perfectly. Miss Popular by day and model by afternoon, she is what a guy would be proud to show mom. She even gets along with the in-law sibling, Jason's twin sister, Jessie Carter, is hard to impress with anything. Like twins, she looks like Jason but more feminine. With legs that go on for days, she is average compared to the queen. She has clear blue eyes and a nosy ring. Although she is a nerd, she is beautiful just never interacted with people who were not in her click. "Hey Tanis," Jason says. Kimberly standing next to him, tightened her grab on his right hand. "Oh okay, possessive much?" my subconscious speaks up.
Sometimes I thank the Lord that I am the only one who can hear what can hear what my subconscious says. I gently wave my hand in his direction. I don't feel like participating in a pointless conversation, even if it's Jason Carter. "So students, I am going to start with the mathematics literacy classes," the grade tutor, Mrs. Pray, says. She's one of the respectable, sweet ladies on the school grounds. "I'm starting with 12D class,' she continues. I'm not in the mood for this. I scan through the crowd of students to find someone I like besides Samantha and Lexi.
After fifteen seconds, I see Claudia whispering (more like gossiping) and having a few low laughs. I walk in her direction minding my step, making sure I don't get everyone's attention. "Hey Clau," I whispered shouted, she smiles and responds with a hug. I forgot how touchy everyone is around here. "Tan, I missed you so much," she whispers in my ear. I missed her as well. "So what class do you think you're in?" I question her. "Hopefully not 12 D," she says. "There are only dumbasses in that class. Even Pat is in there," she says with a smile. I, on the other hand, try containing my laughter while Mrs. Pray continues calling names down the list for students to move to the group which is no named 12D.
Pat is thee guy who willing released a sex video of himself and his girlfriend to all nearby high schools including Southern High. He had a disciplinary hearing, but it ended in his favor. Luckily none of my friends were called to be in that dumbass class. Next was 12C. About 20 minutes later Mrs. Pray calls out Claudia's name. "Oh shit!" my subconscious shouts in panic, but I had expected this to happening seeing that our senior class only had 2 mathematics literacy classes. am standing here and Mrs. Pray continues with her boring job. The crowd deceases and I decide to move back to where Lexi, Samantha where. I noticed Lauren standing next to Lexi. Lauren is a kind, blond, funny friend of mine. She is the one person I can count on to join in the laugh session of something stupid happening.
"Hi, Lauren," I whisper close to her ear. She turns and smiles. I just love her. I love all of them. "Hey, Tan," she says clearly trying her best to act civil. It's so funny watching her try to act normal. "Now it's the 12B class," Mrs. Pray continues. This must bore her more than it bores me. "Please, can we be in a class where Lexi, Samantha, and Lauren are in? Please!" my subconscious pleads. "Samantha Andrews," Mrs. Pray calls out. Shitty shit! "okay one down, two to go,"
My subconscious trying to calm down. We wave goodbye to Samantha and move our attention back to Mrs. Pray. She calls a few names of people I don't care about. "Blake Drowns," she shouts. "Not my teddy bear," my subconscious says with a deep sigh. He turns around in the direction of the 12B class with a disappointing expression on his face. "Kimberly Fortmen," she says. "Yes!" my subconscious exclaims. I can't help but smile when I realize my morning will be less horrible seeing that I won't be forced to watch a "tongue down your throat" session between Kim and Jas's lips and tightly hugs him before moving her to fit butt to the 12Bs. "Lexi Green," Mrs. Pray continues.
Why!? Lexi looks at me and waits a few seconds and then she hugs me and whispering "it will be fine" near my head. A few seconds later, Mrs. Pray calls out for Lauren. Okay, now this is a clear sign I'm gonna hate my final year. I'm all alone. Jas turns my direction and sends a smile my way. I look at him and shake my head. After ten minutes, I feel someone next to me. Uhm all my friends left me, so who is this? I look straight ahead trying to think who it could be but not pops to mind. "Just turn and look at me," the person says in a buttery manly voice. "You know you want to," he knows that my curiosity is my downfall.
So I turn. I am surprised t see Josh next to me. I'm surprised that he is talking to me in public. Josh has green-grey colored eyes, fit body and the cutest smile with dimples. He is a fuckboy whose league is with college girls. He says they are more real than high school girls. The reason why he never talks to me at school, "I don't like the guys you hang out with," stupid reason but that's the best reason he could come up with. "Hey, you look so pathetic here alone, so I came to make you less weird," he says. Pathetic is the nicest thing he has ever said to me. I give him a polite smile before saying, "thank". He stayed silent for a few seconds, before asking "Are you okay?"
"Not really. I just upset that won't be able to se my friends. I'll be okay though," I say forcing a smile. "Well I'm here," he simply stated. Josh might be an asshole at times, but he is always there for me when it mattered most. "Okay, and the rest remaining here ae the 12A which is my class," Mrs. Pray says proudly like it's her best achievement in years. I look around... holy shit! I'm in the nerd class. Why? I know I am not smart, just really hard working. I don't like anyone here, I just tolerate them. I'm well-mannered and introverted, but why? Are my good qualities going to be my downfall? "Like what the fuck brah?" my subconscious protests. I am still stuck in my position, the group begins to move and leave me behind.
"Someone is still on holiday mode. Miss Johnson, snap out of it and move that little bum of yours this instant!" Mrs. Pray shouts her lungs out and snaps me out of my thoughts. I look up and everyone is looking at me... trying to figure out what my response would be. "Yes, madam," I say. We are not going to get along I see. "Hey again," Jas says. Okay Tanis, act like your normal sweet self. "Hey Jas. How are you?" I asks while walking up the stairs. How I didn't miss the involuntary exercise of using stairs daily. "I am good thanks. I'm just really looking forward to being in class with yo again," he says. "The feeling isn't mutual, buddy," my subconscious says.
"Oh... okay," I says. I don't want to get into a conversation with him. I am trying to have a drama-free year and it's going to be hard because I'll be seeing his beautiful face every morning. Jas and I have a complicated friendship. But nevertheless, we are just friends and has been friends. It's just that drama seems to be accompanying us wherever we try being close friends. After reaching the third floor, he places his arm around my shoulder. "Okay, that's new," my subconscious comments. Indeed it is. "We should chill soon, just to catch up. I miss our odd conversation," he says ending it with his perfect pearly white Colgate smile. How can I say "no" to that?
"Yes, sure we should," I nod and move away from him. Josh I just a few feet away. "Hey handsome," I tease. He turns around with an excited, cocky smirk until he realized that it is only me. I could not help but laugh. "You are such an idiot. Who in the world would call you handsome?" I laugh. "Your mama..." he states. Quch, burn. "No funny dude," I say while he carries on with his fits and laughter. I decide to walk away from him. "you know you gonna come back to all of this," he shouts. I don't need this. We arrive in front of the classroom. "Okay students, for the next two days as you know nothing happens. You just need to come. You can pick your seats. I'll be taking the admin when everyone has settled down. Please don't break my class or furniture," Mrs. Pray says.
"Welcome to senior year and work hard for what you want," she says in closing and gestures her hand to the classroom. This will be my home for the next eight months. okay, I can do this. I walk in and decide to sit right in front to avoid people. Behind me is Jessie. She's my childhood friend. We always stay in touch no matter how long we may have drifted apart. After her, she is most of the A team, and then some of the 411 crew. They are the gossipers f the senior. And then it is my asshole friends, Josh and matt. They are the crazy people I don't mind to waste my time with, further on the rest of the class. Mrs. Pray takes the register after ten minutes of getting into the class. After that, she leaves the classroom. "Okay...' I say softly to myself. I stand up to decide to head in the direction of Josh and Matt.
As I am about to take my first step, Jas is right in my fac. Okay, that's impossible. He is way too tall. I only reach the start of his ribs. "Move!" my subconscious barks out. "Hi, what's up? Are you lost or something?" I ask totally confused. "I'm here to chill and catch up with you," he says like it's the most normal thing in the world. "Like right now?" I ask. I am mind-blown by this. What's wrong with him? "Yes, if you don't mind," he says politely. I went back to my seat. "You could have a seat," I say. "So what do you want to talk about?" I ask when his bum land on the chair next to me. "Anything, I don't mind," he says. "Okay, how were your holidays? I ask. It's safer to ask the light questions. "They were quiet good. I went crazy as always and also has some me time. How were yours?" he asks. They were boring as fuck.
"I repeated one routine every fucken day," my subconscious answers with a sense of boredom in her voice. "It was just fine. I did nothing exciting. I saw no one. It was just me and the house. But I guess that's what I needed," I say with a smile. "Dude, your life sounds boring," he states while lightly laughing. that sound brings a tight squeeze to my heart. I only notice now that he has light grey eyes with a black spot on his eyelid. Wow, he has amazing eyes I must say. "So... are you still with Miss Kimberly Fortmen?" I try my best not to show the disgust in my face.