Glocara-10

Glocara wasn't accustomed to the snow that reached up to her ankles. She disliked the odd sensation of something clinging to the soles of her feet every time she lifted them. She disliked the cold, redness of her earlobes, feeling as if they were being pressed by a brick. She disliked not being able to freely swing her arms as she walked, having to keep them tucked inside her pockets instead. She disliked seeing carriages stuck in the snow, women inside anxiously watching the wheels. She disliked seeing homeless men huddled together under bridges, staring at the fire they had lit in a tin can.

Unlike the children occupying the streets playing in the snow, continuous physical activity didn't warm Glocara up. She first returned to Elaine's house, using the key he gave her to open the door, but no one was inside. Next, she searched for Elaine for half an hour to no avail, gradually blaming herself for it: she wasn't familiar with Stormwind's streets. She asked some pedestrians, describing Elaine's appearance and clothing, and got directions from one of them, but that was fifteen minutes after Elaine had passed by that person. She thought maybe she had made a wrong turn when she first ran out of the orphanage. On snowy days like this, she couldn't imagine where Elaine could be. She returned to Elaine's house for the second time, still finding no one.

Night fell. Glocara wondered why she hadn't held Elaine's hand tighter. Why hadn't she saved time to teach that teacher a lesson. She had heard from Elaine that when she was nine, she used to roam the streets at midnight, and now at thirteen, doing so wouldn't be safer because it's an unstable age. She was starting to gain independence but wasn't mature enough to truly protect herself. A nine-year-old wouldn't dare spend the night outside in the snow, but a thirteen-year-old might try.

At the very least, in weather like this, Elaine couldn't possibly still be wandering the streets. She must be hiding somewhere sheltered from the snow. Maybe she had taken refuge in a friend's house — this idea was meaningless to Glocara because she didn't know any of Elaine's friends' addresses, let alone whether Elaine really had friends who could offer shelter at this time. Glocara no longer thought about the role the orphanage's Katarina played in this matter; she just wanted to find Elaine as soon as possible.

There was one advantage to it getting dark: fewer pedestrians. Glocara could scrutinize any child within sight to see if it was Elaine. She stayed away from the main roads and specifically walked through the more secluded streets and alleys. Finally, she found her behind a restaurant. There was a canopy set up, conveniently located next to the kitchen window, where some heat escaped from the house. Elaine sat huddled, shoulders hunched, head buried.

Glocara squatted down beside the girl and hugged her. "Elaine, Elaine, come with me," she said. "Get up. Let's go back."

Elaine stood up, brushing off the snow from her back. She didn't look up at Glocara but instead stared aimlessly at the opposite wall.

"You can't do this," Glocara didn't wait for Elaine to respond, pulling her hand hard. They walked back in silence.

Once they were back inside, Elaine sat down on the couch in the living room. Glocara went to light the fireplace and make hot tea. She thought Elaine would run upstairs and shut herself in her room again, but when she came out of the kitchen with the tea cup, Elaine was just staring at the newly lit fire in the fireplace.

Glocara placed the tea cup on the table and sat down beside Elaine.

"Drink it," she said.

Elaine picked up the cup, took a small sip, and was about to put it back on the table.

"Drink some more."

Elaine took another sip, then held the cup in her hands. She seemed a bit unsteady, and two drops of tea dripped from the edge of the cup onto the floor.

"What if I hadn't found you? Were you planning to spend the night there?"

No answer came. Glocara continued.

"You're not answering me. Look at your hands, what they look like frozen. Do you know that staying there could actually freeze you to death?"

"Yours are too," Elaine looked at her.

"I'm thinking about how to tell your dad about this."

Elaine shook her head.

"Do you not want me to tell him?"

"He'll get mad."

"Of course. No parent wouldn't."

"He'll be angry that I caused you trouble."

"That's none of his concern. You shouldn't do such dangerous things, running around in heavy snow."

"He told me not to cause trouble for you."

"He said that?"

Elaine nodded.

Glocara leaned back on the couch, using her right hand to comb through Elaine's wet hair, sighing. "Do you still want that box of paints? I'll buy it for you."

"No, it's okay."

"I'll buy it for you, and then I won't tell your dad anything. Just pretend it's the gift you got at school."

"No."

"I was also at fault, Elaine. I should have stopped that kid from taking your things. But you can't just run around outside and not come home. No matter how bad you're feeling, you can't do that. I'll go buy you the paints, but you have to promise..."

"I really don't need them."

"Then wait until your dad comes back, let him buy them for you. Okay? If you don't want me to buy them, that's fine, but you still need to paint."

After a moment of silence, Elaine looked at Glocara.

"Dad said you might move in with us."

"He told you that?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe... your dad isn't wrong. It's possible. But I think I'll need your opinion. We'll see when your dad's not around if you want to stay with me."

"Do you want to?"

"If something like today happens again, then no."

Elaine placed the cup back on the table. "I'm sorry."

"You almost finished it. Feeling warmer?"

"A bit." After a few seconds, she spoke again. "Dad said he likes you."

"...Did he tell you to say that?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Really. I asked him why he wanted you to come live with us, and that's what he said."

"That's to be expected. He better like me. Otherwise, he'll have a hard time."

"Would you hit him?"

"Hit him? I don't know. Probably not, because it wouldn't be novel anymore. I met your dad five years ago, and he was quite annoying. I hit him then. Doing something similar now wouldn't be interesting. Besides your dad, I haven't even seen the painting you won the prize for."

"It's hanging in the school classroom."

"Can I go see it?"

"Adults from outside need to apply to enter the school."

"No problem, I trust your dad can handle it. Elaine, there's something I want to ask you. How did you start liking painting?"

"My mom taught me."

"Can you tell me about it?"

Elaine glanced at the tea in her cup.

"We used to stay inside the house all day. Someone put two guard dogs at the door, preventing me and Mom from going out. Whenever we had free time, Mom would draw pictures on the floor with charcoal sticks for me to see, and she'd let me draw along. But those drawings had to be erased before Mr. Panzi saw them the next morning. None of Mom's drawings stayed on paper."

"Come here," Glocara said, embracing Elaine's shoulders, leaning against the couch with her. "Do you miss her?"

"One night, she fell asleep without erasing the drawings on the floor. I was scared because if Mr. Panzi saw them, he'd hit us. I tried to wipe them with my hands, but they wouldn't come off. I wanted to get a cloth, but it was hung too high. I thought Mom would wake up and erase them in the morning, but she never woke up again. I yelled and banged on the door, but no one came, only the guard dogs outside barking at the door. Three days later, Mr. Panzi opened the door and, along with others, carried Mom out. I don't know where they took her."

Your hand feels like it's touched a dead person. The smell of a corpse. Glocara moved Elaine's right hand away, but after a while, she put it back.

"I want to capture her likeness on paper. I take my drawing classes seriously because only by mastering that can I draw her face. I've learned a lot about sketching now, but I'm starting to forget what she looks like. I've drawn her before, but none of them look like her. I don't know what to do. I don't want to continue learning."

"Don't talk nonsense," Glocara said, wiping her eyes with her left index finger, kissing the side of the girl's head. "Your mom wants you to keep drawing. Your dad does too. And so do I. You'll be able to draw anything you want in the future. It's just a box of paints; I won't allow you to overthink it."

They fell silent for a moment.

"Do you like Dad?" Elaine said.

"What about you?"

"I do."

"Then I do too."

"But he often doesn't keep his promises. Once he told me, whoever says something and doesn't do it is the most annoying person. But he himself often doesn't follow through. Two months ago, he said he'd spend Winter Veil with me this year."

"That's his fault. We'll talk to him when he gets back. He said there'd be a week off to spend with us."

"Did he promise you?"

"He did."

"But he often doesn't keep his promises..."

"We'll see when he gets back." Glocara looked at the fire in the fireplace. "Let's wait and see."