38. Not easy (Mileven)

A/N: You guys must totally hate me right now, but I swear I'm up to my tits in stress and i'm DYING! I had a mental breakdown on Monday because school is not what I expected and it's driving me insane, but I wanted to post something so you guys don't feel abandoned. I'm not telling you guys what the chapter is about until you figure it out by yourselves (let's see if you can by the hints in Joyce and El's conversation). This is super long, so I hope it makes up for my absence. Review and tell me if you liked it ;)

El sighed tiredly as she shook off her jacket, throwing it on the couch as Joyce closed the door behind them.

"You hungry, sweetie?" Her step mom asked as she threw the car keys on the table, walking into the kitchen with quick footsteps and opening the fridge. "What should we have for dinner?"

"Whatever you guys want." El rolled her shoulders back, moving her neck from side to side as her hands massaged her lower back.

"Mmmm, your dad had too much beef this week already... how's grilled chicken sound?" Joyce asked with a smile as she took some frozen chicken breasts out of the fridge and put them on the counter.

"Mouth-watering," El hummed. "Can we have some mashed potatoes too?"

"Yeah," Joyce nodded, rummaging through the fridge. "But you need more veggies. You took your vitamins today?"

"Yes," she rolled her eyes, putting her hair up in a ponytail. "I took them with a strawberry smoothie."

"And your yogurt? Did you take your yogurt?" The older woman continued to ask her as she took out some broccoli and chicken peas.

"Yes, Dad packed it for me." El sighed again, shifting on her feet. "I want to go lay down for a bit. Do you need any help?"

"Oh, no, sweetie, I'm fine!" Joyce gasped, looking at her with alert eyes as if she was keeping El from doing something important. "Go rest your feet."

"Okay," she smiled softly. "Thank you."

She smiled at Joyce one last time before she walked off into the hallway, and inside what used to be Jonathan's room, and was now hers.

She took off her shoes first, placing her worn Chucks by the dresser and then pulling her blue socks off. She removed her T-shirt with light struggle, her arms and head stuck for a minute, before she wrenched it off and flung the long-sleeved top across the room. Her jeans came off after, a sigh living her lips as the pressure on her stomach was finally lifted.

Once she was in her underwear, she walked across the room, closing the door all the way to look at herself in the mirror behind it.

26 weeks of pregnancy.

Her hands found the now familiar spot on her bulging stomach, her fingers caressing the creases made by her jeans, making a mental note to buy more dresses so she can stop using pants for real now.

"What are you up to, little peanut?" She murmured as she observed her stomach from the side, her eyes running over her ever-changing body which never ceased to amaze her.

She walked to her bed and lay down with a soft grunt, grabbing the little flashlight she kept on the nightstand for this sole purpose, and pointing it at her stomach.

"Are you awake?" She whispered, one finger rubbing a circle around her belly button while her other hand was busy gently running the light across her stomach.

With a slightly harsher sigh, she smiled, pressing the pad of her finger against the spot she felt her baby kick. "Oh, so you are awake," she rubbed a circle on her belly and her smile broadened when she saw the skin move upwards in response. "Did I wake you up? Were you sleeping? You were very calm today, peanut."

That's what they were calling her for now. Mike had come up with the nickname a few weeks back, when he was home for the weekend.

It had been hard. With Mike being away and her staying in Hawkins, it suddenly got more difficult than she imagined it'd be.

"We'll figure it out," Mike breathed out hard, almost in a pant, against her head as she sobbed noisily on his chest. One positive pregnancy stick clutched in his hand while his eyes were glued to the two positive others on the counter. "We'll figure it out. We'll be okay, El."

That was also the night his mom found out.

Mike had been so nervous after El left, filled to the brim with anxiety, that he had stayed over an hour under the shower, stonily staring at the opposite wall until his mother yelled at him for wasting water. He'd gotten out, hair dripping wet and a towel around his waist, and bumped into Karen on his way to his room.

"Mike?" She had asked with a hesitant voice and concerned eyes, noticing the drop on her son's shoulders and the way his mind seemed to be miles away.

The way he had looked back at her would be forever stuck inside Karen Wheeler's brain. It was the look of a desperate person, one who was on the verge of drowning; Mike's eyes had been heavy, his mouth downturned with sadness as his already pale skin seemed to glim with sick whiteness, damp from the shower.

He had managed to escape her questioning gaze long enough to close his bedroom door to gather himself a bit, before she was knocking on it.

"Michael?" He could hear the alarm in her voice. "Let me in." It wasn't a request.

He had always tried to hide things from her. From the china plate he'd broken when he was 6, to the reason he fell into a deep void in 1984. Unconsciously, he'd always tried to protect his mother from the horrors outside of the safety bubble she had built around herself and her family, even if she didn't know her two oldest had burst out of it long, long ago.

But this… he couldn't bottle it up. He couldn't just pretend it wasn't happening. Hell, it would show in a few months, so what was the purpose of swallowing the bomb of emotions that had exploded inside of him at the moment?

So he did something he hadn't done ever since he was 12 years old and Eleven was just a number in his mathematical life.

He let his mother in.

"Michael!" Karen gasped, fear already running through her veins as he threw himself at her, sobbing immediately on her shoulders as he squeezed his mom with all his might, hoping she could absorb all his worries and fears. "What- Mike, what's wrong, sweetie?" She closed the door behind them, falling against it as her only son wrapped his arms around her neck and continued to sob. He was taller than her, a few good feet, but the way he was folding himself to fit against her, how he was crumbling, made her think of the times he came running to her with scraped knees and tears running down his face. But back then a few kisses would soothe away his pain, and now, she had a feeling this couldn't be solved with a press of her lips.

That night Mike confessed everything to her. Not about El and why the DOE wasn't making light bulbs in Hawkins Lab anymore, but about the pregnancy. Karen had cried. Black tears running from her mascara-coated eyelashes, and she asked why, why, why a million times, but he didn't have the answer. And neither did she when he asked her what to do.

Even though nothing was resolved, and certainly nothing had been made easier, Mike felt a weight lift from his shoulders. His mom wasn't happy of course, but she knew. And she would be there for him and El in any way they needed.

"We're not telling your dad yet," She sniffled as she wiped clumps of wet mascara with dainty fingertips, Mike wiping his face with a pillow as his towel was still wrapped around his waist, albeit a bit rumpled because of the way he was nearly on his mother's lap. "He has to know, of course, but we'll wait a little longer."

"How about after the birth?" Mike had said, partially joking, and even though he received a face, his spirits were still lifted when the corner of her lips twitched up.

"Well," Karen gave in, a chuckle escaping her dry lips. "It's not like he would notice."

As they both gasped with laughter, Mike knew with his mother on his side, it wouldn't be so bad.

Right on cue, she heard the phone ring outside, along with the one installed on her nightstand.

"I got it!" She yelled out to Joyce, receiving a thank you in response from her stepmom. "Hello?"

"Hey, love."

"Hi!" She couldn't help but swoon, a huge, dorky smile splitting her face in half when she heard his voice on the other side of the phone.

"What are you up to?" She heard him move around his dorm, a few tinkers in the background, before he sighed deeply and he settled down on his bed.

"Nothing," she said absently, turning the flashlight off and placing it back on her nightstand. "I just got back from the Station and was talking to peanut."

"How was she today? Is she still on about joining the soccer team?"

"No," she laughed, rubbing a hand up and down her stomach to sooth the now moving baby. "She was pretty calm today, actually."

"Well, that's good. Did you finish your homework on time?"

"Yeah, Dad let me drive the Blazer— yeah, I know—," she snorted when Mike actually gasped. "- and I went to the library. I got some copies of that Research book I needed and because I was there last week I got a discount coupon for the Statistics one and I basically got it for free."

"Oh, that's awesome! Now you got some money left for that Cognitive Psychology class you wanted."

"Yeah, but I'd still need more money for that, so I thought we could use it to buy the changing table."

"Mmmhh," Mike hummed thoughtfully, and even from miles away (miles, miles, miles away, she thought sadly) she could picture him running his fingers through his hair. "Are you sure? I told you I just need to take some more shifts and we can buy the table and some more clothes."

"I don't want you to fail Chemistry, Mike," She rolled her eyes, shifting on the bed as her back began to ache in that one spot that had been driving her mad. "You're already getting late to Calculus on Wednesdays, let's not stretch it over to Chemistry as well."

"But Mr. Ovando is super cool," Mike argued. "The other night when I took the late shift, I was like fifteen minutes late to Chem, but because I did all my homework he let it slide. I already talked to him, and he said he'd let me be thirty minutes late if I make the compromise of delivering all my homework on time, to be participant in class and to never be late to a test."

"Mike, you went off to college so you can learn and actually study. Not so you can work until dawn, sleep four hours, and then be late to class. Besides, she's still has some more months to go," She rubbed her belly again, eyes closed and her mouth pinched in light annoyance. "We don't need to buy everything right now, but if I have the money, then we can get her changing table."

"I just want things to be ready." He admitted softly, and her heart squeezed inside her chest when she heard the hopefulness in his voice. "And what about your class?"

"Look," She began, sitting up higher against the headboard and putting a pillow behind her lower back. "I decided four classes are enough for me right now. I have enough homework, and Flo keeps me busy at the station, so it's not like I'm not doing anything. Besides, if I'm not going to college until a semester after she's born, I don't want to be spending even more money."

He sighed heavily. "Are you sure?"

"God, Mike, yes." She rolled her eyes. Damn, those hormones really made everyone else seem more annoying than usual.

"Okay," He gave in with another sigh. Why the hell was he sighing so damn much for? "Just wait until I get home for Thanksgiving break so we can buy it together, okay?"

"Okay." She smiled happily now. She couldn't wait for Thanksgiving Break.

A whole week with Mike home, catching up and making up for lost time. It also helped that everyone else came home for that week too.

After graduation, and the Party receiving the news about the future little member of their group, they became as closer as human nature could allow them. Closer because they had already been close, but college and goodbyes were just around the corner, and with the news of Mileven's baby, they were set on getting as much time together as they could.

That summer had been awesome (except for the fucking morning sickness that had hit her up in June), but now she was alone in Hawkins. She had decided to not take the risk and stay home instead of going to college. What was the point in wasting a shit ton of money if she was going to drop out in the middle of it? Also, she knew stress would be bad for the baby, and she didn't want any harm done to the little person living inside her; so she settled for taking classes in next town's community college, and working at the station as Flo's second in command to kill time and to have a job, like a normal person.

Surprising everyone after his much proclaimed dream of MIT, Mike decided for Florida State University, after checking its Biomedical Engineering program. After much persuasion from both her and his parents, he settled in Tallahassee, along with Lucas who had been the one to talk Mike into applying for it. The boys shared an apartment close to their career buildings (Lucas' was nearer, the College of Arts and Science closer to the cheaper housing apartments, so Mike had to be the one to get up earlier to catch the bus) and shared the rent. It was reassuring for both families and their friends to know they had each other for company while being away from the commodity that was Hawkins.

Dustin was the one who was closer to her, studying Aerospace Engineering in Illinois's IT, and he often called her to see how she and the baby were doing. He was a kind boy with a heart of gold, and El missed him terribly.

Max had followed Will to New York, both settling in with Jonathan, who had been gone for a few years and had an apartment of his own. The safety that his older brother provided, plus the lesser rent money between the two boys because of Max helped Joyce with her boys-leaving-the-nest anxiety.

With everyone gone, and the whole Byers house for herself, Joyce decided to take the next step and asked Hopper (and El) to move in with her. Obviously, he wasn't going to say no, and because of the motherly figure Joyce was for El, he felt assured that she would be well taken care of while he was busy at work. Joyce had been a heaven-sent gift for El in these months. Having been pregnant twice, and mostly alone, her stepmom knew what eased the pains, what eased the nausea, when to leave her alone, and most importantly, how to comfort her when the unpredictable wave of depression hit her.

She was mostly fine these days; busy with homework and life, and feeling her baby move and kick, and reading pregnancy books with Mike over the phone as each settled down for the night miles and miles away from each other. But at the beginning it was harder.

She had to confirm the pregnancy, a real doctor telling her she was indeed carrying a tiny life ("6 weeks, to be exact," Dr. Tesfaye had told them gently when El, Mike and Hopper were all inside her office. "Congratulations are in order?" It came out as a question, and as El's tear filled eyes met Mike's terrified ones, neither could answer the woman), and the ride back home had been deadly silent except for the few sighs Hopper let out in the front seat.

Then Mike had told Ted, who had (again, surprising everyone) just sighed sadly and patted his son on the shoulder, telling him he had to be a grown up and handle things like an adult now. His father had always been an absent figure, but before Mike left, it suddenly was like a wakeup call for Ted. He started saving more, giving Mike money whenever he saw him go out with El, and pulling him up into the attic to retrieve the crib and stacked boxes of baby stuff that had belonged to the Wheeler kids.

"A baby changes things, son," Ted said as he blew dust from the lid of a box labeled 'Onesies' while they were unboxing the stuff from the attic in the living room. "Your relationship will take a toll, more so with you being away in college, so you need to figure things out. Take some time alone; enjoy your relationship while it's just you and her. Don't just focus on the baby." Ted had looked longingly at the kitchen, where Karen was animatedly talking on the phone, and he looked back at Mike with a sad, pointed look. In that moment, he understood what his father was telling him (don't end up like us).

Their friends had been shocked, some angry ("You little shit!" Will had screamed at Mike, and then El had punched him in the shoulder), but at the end, they settled for supportive and happy, trying to make things easier for the couple while they still could.

But then Mike left, and the guys did too, and she was reminded that Hawkins wasn't the nicest town.

She had been on her way from Melvald's to the Station, Steve in his Hawkins Police uniform by her side, when she was pointed at for the first time.

She was barely showing, her blouse loose enough to hide it if she wanted to, but she was carrying some books against her hip, and the movement pinned her shirt down, outlining the soft bump that was growing each day. She was listening to Steve rant about her dad's shitty ways—"Like, is it the hair? Because I understand he's getting bald, but there's no need to be jealous."— with a smile as they waited for the light to turn red so they could cross the street, and she casually swung her eyes to the little cafe next to them, and her heart jolted in her throat when she caught two pairs of eyes looking at her. The women's eyes screamed their judgement, and they both turned to look at each other with raised eyebrows and shaking heads ("So young, so young, in my times-") while they sipped from their coffee cups, and she felt ashamed. With stinging eyes and a gulp, she crossed the street quickly when the light finally blinked red, and she didn't speak until she was in the safety of the Station.

"El?" Steve had asked, but she paid him no mind. She paid no mind to anyone, until she reached her father's office and closed the door behind her.

"Are you okay?!" Hopper shot up from his chair as soon as he saw her eyes, and then she was burying the hot tears on his chest, books and bag forgotten on the chair.

Later, at home, Joyce had a talk with her. "Nobody," she hissed viciously, her eyes lit with a furious fire. "And I mean, nobody, gets to look down on you. You hold your chin up high and shove your middle finger in those assholes' faces, you hear me?" Her stepmom had lived through the judgment that came with being young and pregnant (even though she had been a little older than El when Jonathan was conceived), and she refused to let her daughter suffer the same treatment.

("Who was it?" Mike snapped over the phone, Lucas yelling in the background about his mother ruining those bitches. "I'll set them on fire when I'm home.")

(There was no need for flames, because Karen Wheeler, with an angelic smile on her face, deeply regretted to inform Sandra Greene and Claire Richards that they were banned from Hawkins Women's Book Club, from Hawkins Women's Cooking Club and from Hawkins Festivities Council, and when they protested, she simply closed the Club's doors on their faces, with one last whisper: "You might want to stick those plastic noses out of my daughter-in-law's business.")

If her belly hadn't been showing already, she most certainly would've been looking pregnant by how much food she had shoveled inside her mouth just now. Thanksgiving had been a huge event this year. Motivated by their kids' bond, and the overall happiness of having them home for the week, the Party's families had gathered to have Thanksgiving Dinner together (minus the Hargroves, of course). The Wheeler's had been the arranged place, and although they had been crammed because of the amount of people, it had been nice and homely.

("I'm grateful to be home, here with all of you. I'm grateful for my family," it was Mike's turn, and now he was looking at her. "And I'm grateful for our little present that will be making her appearance sometime next year."

"It's a girl?!" Karen had exclaimed with excitement, Claudia Henderson, Daphne Sinclair and Nancy wearing matching expressions of wide eyes and smiling lips. "It's a girl!" Holly squealed with her mother, the table erupting in happy cheers and excited chatter, Hopper reaching out to rub a gentle hand on El's belly in fondness, while Ted clasped his son's hand with a soft smile, Mike smiling back awkwardly).

A soft giggle erupted from her throat as her skin tickled from the soft kisses Mike was pressing on her stomach, her large t-shirt bunched underneath her swollen breasts so her large bump was exposed to his hands.

"Peanut?" He whispered against her belly button, the tingling that his lips made while he talked making her giggle again. "It's me," another kiss. "It's daddy."

She ran her hands through his shaggy hair, marveling at the silky strands that curled around her fingers. She grunted when she felt a kick against her ribs, and she lowered a hand to guide one of his to the spot she felt their little girl poke.

"She's kicking?" He questioned with a look at her face as he saw her take a sharp breath.

"She's pressing a foot against my ribs," She grunted again, the unexpected pain making her uncomfortable, and she was glad they were already showered and dressed in their pjs, (and even more grateful that he was spending the night with her) because there was no way in hell she was doing anything else but wait until she settled down. "She knows it's you."

"Did you miss me?" He was talking to peanut again, his large hands around her stomach and his thumbs caressing her skin. "I missed you so much. I missed talking to you, and feeling you move, and reading to you, and also playing music for you." He pressed another kiss to her belly, and the baby kicked again, this time moving around too. With curious eyes, they watched the skin of El's stomach move around as the baby stretched, a foot print pushing up from the inside, and Mike's finger pressed against the spot in wonder.

"Can she feel that?" He wondered, moving his finger in circles against the foot of their baby.

"I don't know," El shrugged, her hands holding onto her lower stomach, the soft curve the perfect spot for her hands. "What does your book say?"

"It only says she's gonna be more active, and that you're probably going to be constipated and light headed. She's the size of a butternut squash."

Her fingers touched the bumpy lines across her lower stomach, and she sucked her teeth in annoyance, huffing when Mike lowered his head to press a kiss to her stretch marks. "Stop," he chastised as he stood up from her bed. "You're beautiful."

"Tell that to my stretched skin." She grouched back, sighing when the baby kicked again. "Damnit, Mike, now she's gonna be awake for God knows how long."

"Sorry," he piped with a smirk, not looking sorry at all. "You can go to sleep if you want. I'll stay with her."

"Yeah, I'll just pretend she's not summersaulting inside of me." She retorted sarcastically as he returned to the bed, carrying a bottle of cocoa lotion. She winced when the cold cream hit her skin, but then she sighed blissfully when he massaged the cool substance on the angry red lines across her skin.

"You've been eating enough dairy?" He asked softly as he continued to rub her stomach.

"Joyce's been feeding me yogurt every day. I'm sick of it."

He chuckled, lowering the lotion to her thighs and massaging her aching muscles with gentle hands. "You know you need—"

"As much calcium as I can eat. I know. I read too, you know?"

He laughed again, rubbing the excess of cream on her hands and elbows, before he reached out and placed the bottle on her nightstand.

She lowered the hem of her sleeping shirt and snuggled under the covers with him, killing the lights with a flick of her head, causing a light dizziness to erupt behind her eyelids.

"Stop using your powers." He reprimanded her, throwing her a look as his hand found her bump.

"Sorry." She winced back, humming contentedly when he kissed her forehead tenderly.

It hadn't been easy, and it would continue to be so, even more when she arrived in the middle of February to a cold weather and a crazed Mike, who had bought the fastest flight from Florida to Indiana, and had literally ran a marathon to arrive on time for the birth of his daughter.

They had to figure out how they would organize their schedules now, with him starting classes on the other side of the country, and her and their baby girl in Hawkins.

But they were El and Mike, and if previous events were proof enough, then they could do anything together.